Deadliest Warrior, Season X
by Scarecrow'sMainFan
Summary: When Warriors from all parts of History come together...The Battles will be epic. No Safety. No Mercy. No Rules. Two Warriors Enter, One Will Leave. This, is the Deadliest Warrior
1. Shaka Zulu vs Alexander The Great

_Disclaimer: I don't own Deadliest Warrior; but I wish I did. _

**Deadliest Warrior, Chapter 1: Shaka Zulu vs. Alexander The Great**

_Narrator: _

Shaka Zulu; the fierce African Warlord who built a Zulu army that killed 2 million enemies, and transformed a continent.

(_We see Shaka leading his fellow Zulus into battle_).

_Narrator: _

Alexander The Great; the warrior king, whose brutal tactics carved out one of the largest empires in history.

(_We see Alexander at the head of a massive army_).

**WHO IS DEADLIEST?**

To find out, our world class fighters are testing histories most lethal weapons. Using 21st century science, we'll see what happens when the two warriors go toe to toe. No rules. No safety. No mercy. It's a duel to the death, to decide who is...THE DEADLIEST WARRIOR!

Shaka Zulu:

c. 1781 - 1828

Southeast Africa

Gear: 7 - 10 LBS

Armor: Ox-Hide Shield

Alexander The Great:

340 - 323 BC

Height - 5' 7"

Weight - 155 LBS

Armor - Bronze Cuirass

_Narrator: _Here in the Fight Club, we take four weapons used by African Warlord Shaka Zulu:

Iklwa

Iwisa

Zulu Axe

Spit of Poison

_Narrator: _and compare them to the weapons used by the warrior king Alexander The Great:

Xyston

Gastraphetes

Kopis

Ballista

_Narrator: _First the two teams will test their mid range weaponry: Shaka Zulu's Iklwa spear, against Alexander's Xyston spear.

A member of Shaka's team steps forward, the Iklwa held firmly in his hand. He turns to the gel dummy and, with a quick thrust, impales the spear deep into its chest.

But Alexander's team is not impressed. They say the spear would never breach Alexander's armor.

So a new dummy is brought out, this one wearing a replica of Alexander's Bronze Cuirass. Shaka's team member steps up and jabs at the dummy again, and manages to breech the armor, though not as deep as the first time.

Dr. Dorian: Now this is impressive because I didn't think it would be able to get through Alexander's armor.

Next Alexander's team goes to test the deadly Xyston spear. A dummy is set up. Alexander's teammate takes the Xyston in two hands and drives the spear forward and manages to completely pierce the dummy, with part of the spear sticking out the back.

Dr. Dorian: This weapon is certainly deadly, however it's a weapon meant to be used on hose back, not ground warfare, so it can be somewhat cumbersome. But against an un-armored opponent like Shaka, one good hit could be it. On the other hand the Iklwa is easy to use, and can somewhat pierce Alexander's armor, but lacks the reach of the Xyston. In the end, both these weapons have their pros and cons, and are pretty much dead even.

Edge: Even

_Narrator: _ Next the two teams will test out their respective warriors deadly long range weapons: The Iwisa and Gastraphetes.

The Zulu team steps up two a couple of balls suspended in the air and surrounded by glass, meant to simulate human heads. The iwisa flew through the air and broke the glass and shattered the two balls, causing blood to splash everywhere.

But the Alexander team is not impressed, claiming that their weapon can go much farther. So the teams head out to a field with targets spaced much farther away. After the argues process of loading the weapon, the teammate finally fires the weapon. The bolt flies through the air, and hits one of the tummies in the face.

Dr Dorian: Both these weapons are deadly, the Gastraphetes goes farther, but takes forever to load, the Iwisa is easier to handle, but doesn't go as far.

_Narrator: _As a final test of these weapons, the two teams place them against the opposing teams defenses.

Once more the Gastraphetes is aimed, but this time at an enemy gel torso placed behind a Ishlangu shield. The bolt fires and pierces the shield like it's tissue paper. On the other hand, when the Iwisa is thrown at a skull wearing Alexander's helmet, it just bounces off.

Dr. Dorian: Well, despite its long load time, it's clear that the Gastraphetes is much more lethal.

Edge: Alexander

_Narrator: _Now the two teams go toe-to-toe to test their respective sides close range weaponry: The Kopis and the Zulu Axe.

Team Alexander steps up to a hanging pig carcass, Kopis blade in hand, and began hacking away at it. After twenty seconds, he stepped back and allowed the doctor to examine the results.

Dr. Dorian: While some of these cuts are indeed lethal, a lot of them are a bit shallow. Also, none of the bones are broken, and the cuts just go along the ribs as opposed to cutting them.

Next Team Zulu steps up to a fresh pig carcass, and swings their fearsome Zulu Axe down on the flesh. The blade bites deep into the animal, and the sound of bones breaking can be heard.

Dr. Dorian: Now here we see a weapon that not only cuts deep, but also breaks the bones, and that can cause a whole host of other deadly injuries. I've got to give this one to Shaka.

Edge: Shaka Zulu

_Narrator: _For the final test, each team will test a special weapon, that they think will tip the fight in their favor. Shaka Zulu's Spit of Poison or Alexander's Ballista?

Shaka's teammate steps up to a dummy. He takes a mouthful of the herbal poison and then spits it in the dummies face, making sure to get it in the dummies eyes.

Alexander's team, however, is not impressed. They say that while a spit-take was fine for the "Three Stooges", it wasn't worth much in battle. That was when they brought out the Ballista.

This was the point where the team went out to the firing range to test the siege weapon. Alex's team makes the proper adjustments then fires the weapon at a group of targets several hundred feet away. The bolt flew through the air and hit a dummy square in the chest, marking an instant-kill. It also caused the dummy to fall over into its fellow, making them fall as well.

Dr Dorian: While it doesn't have the fastest reload time, it is a lethal weapon. While the poison does have some element of stealth to it, it really doesn't compare. So your eyes are burning, big deal, this other guy is dead.

Edge: Alexander

_Narrator: _With all the testing complete, Max Geiger uploads the data gathered from the tests into the battle simulation, developed by Slitherine Studio, to simulate a battle to the death between these two warriors. To make sure that victory isn't snatched by a single lucky blow, the battle will be simulated 1000 times. Who will win in this battle of legendary leaders? Alexander The Great, the warrior king, and ruler of one of the largest empires of all time? Or Shaka Zulu, the African warlord who transformed a continent? Close Range Edge: Shaka's Zulu Axe

Mid Range Edge: Even between the Iklwa and the Xyston

Long Range Edge: Alexander's Gastraphetes

Special Weapon Edge: Alexander's Ballista

It's time to find out which warrior is truly the deadliest. Max hits the button on the computer, and suddenly the screen goes "Matrix" on us.

The fight takes place on a savanna hillside, Alexander, mans a ballista, his horse nearby. Looking down the slope, he sees Shaka running his way, Iklwa spear in one hand, Ishlangu shield in the other.

Taking aim, Alex fires his ballista, but Shaka sees the bolt coming down at him and moves out of the way. Shaka picks up speed and continues to make his way toward Alex. Alex readies another bolt on the ballista and fires, but misses again. Grunting in frustration, Alex mounts his horse, positions his xyston, and charges the oncoming Zulu.

Shaka sees the charge, and rolls to avoid. Turning, he tosses an iwisa club at the back of Alexander's head; but the wooden stick merely bounces harmlessly off the steel helmet.

Alexander turns his horse around, and charges again. Shaka sidesteps his thrust, and slices at the horse with his iklwa. The horse rears, and throws Alexander off his back. Taking advantage of his downed foe, Shaka attempts to finish the fight.

Looking up, Alex thrust his xyston forward, but the cumbersome lance only manages to pierce the oncoming Zulu's shield, instead of his head. Still not one to not take advantage of any battle situation, Alex jerks the xyston to the side, thus pulling the shield from Shaka's hand and causing him to lose balance.

Annoyed at the loss of his shield, Shaka steadies himself and draws his Zulu axe; eyeing his opponent wearily, as he too has risen, drawing his kopis sword and shield.

Alex swings with his sword, but Shaka doges. Shaka returns by burying the blade of his axe deep into Alexander's shield. Pulling back, the shield is yanked from the warrior king's hand.

Alex frowned, twice now he had been disarmed. He watched as Shaka attempted to distract him with some strange jumping and shouting. But the distraction failed, and Alex was ready for the attack as Shaka attempted to impale him with his iklwa. Using his superior martial - arts training, Alex sidestepped and grabbed the arm holding the offending weapon. Twisting his opponents wrist, he forced Shaka to drop the weapon.

Alex was then forced to duck as Shaka attempted to take his head off with the axe, but only managed to cut some of the plumage from his helmet. Shaka too was forced to jump back as Alex attempted to lacerate him with the kopis. He managed to get a cut across the chest, but, unfortunately for Alex, it was nothing too serious.

The two warriors stood facing one another, summing up their opponent. Suddenly Shaka jumped forward, and tackled Alex to the ground, swinging his axe downward, hoping to decapitate his enemy and end the fight.

But Alex managed to catch the axe-hand mid swing, stopping its decent. Sadly for Alex, the unorthodox tackle had taken him by surprise, and when he hit the ground, he'd ended up dropping his sword, which fell out of reach.

Mustering the last of his strength, Alex managed to throw Shaka off him. Standing quickly Alex ran to the spot where his horse had first thrown him.

But Shaka wasn't far behind. Sensing victory might be close at hand he began the chant: "Zulu!" "Zulu!" "Zulu!" "Zulu!" as he chased his armored foe.

Knowing his enemy was right behind him, Alex dived for the bundle he saw on the ground where he'd first fallen, glad to see it was already pre-loaded. Rolling over, he faced his screaming adversary: "Zulu!" "Zulu!" "Zulu!" and fired his gastraphetes. "Zulu!" "Zul - !..."

The bolt flew true, and pierced the African warlord right through his heart. For a moment all was calm, then slowly, Shaka Zulu collapsed, dead. Alex paused for a second, to make sure he was dead, then stood, and screamed out to the heavens in victory. Then when he'd gotten it out of his system, went to go find his horse, so that he might get back to his men.

Winner: Alexander The Great.

Alexander The Great: 513

Kopis: 147

Xyston: 252

Gastraphetes: 80

Ballista: 34

Shaka Zulu: 487

Zulu Axe: 106

Iklwa: 343

Iwisa: 38

Spit of Poison: 0

_Narrator: _In this battle between two of histories greatest leaders, Alexander proved to be the better man, with an impressive 513 kills to his credit, due mostly in part to his xyston spear.

Dr. Dorian: I'm not all that surprised by the fact that Alexander won. The fact is that while Shaka's iklwa was an impressive weapon, Alexander weapons have the ability to do large amounts of damage and kill at almost any range.

_We see Alexander back at his base camp. He holds in his hand the iklwa spear of the fallen Shaka Zulu, his eyes fixed on campaign maps, already planning his next great conquest. _

**The End. **

I really enjoyed getting to write that. I hope you enjoyed it too. If there are any other Deadliest Warrior match-ups you'd like to see please send in a review. If you have any constructive criticism you'd like to put forth, please review. If you want to flame me, for any reason (you're unhappy about the results, etc.) please don't bother. I write this purely for entertainment purposes only.


	2. IRA vs Yakuza

_Disclaimer: I don't own Deadliest Warrior; but I wish I did. _

**Deadliest Warrior, Chapter 2: IRA vs. Yakuza**

_Narrator: _

The Irish Republican Army; unstoppable urban guerillas who waged a bloody savage war for Irish independence.

(_We see a group of IRA agents working on explosives in their hidden base_).

_Narrator: _

The Yakuza; cruel warlords of Japan's underworld.

(_We see a Yakuza hit-man gun down a member of a rival gang_).

**WHO IS DEADLIEST?**

To find out, our world class fighters are testing histories most lethal weapons. Using 21st century science, we'll see what happens when the two warriors go toe to toe. No rules. No safety. No mercy. It's a duel to the death, to decide who is...THE DEADLIEST WARRIOR!

IRA:

Height - 5' 11"

Weight - 180 LBS

Armor - None

Gear - 30 LBS

Yakuza:

Height - 5' 6"

Weight - 150 LBS

Armor - None

Gear - 10 LBS

_Narrator: _Here in the Fight Club, we take five weapons used by

IRA guerillas:

LPO-50 Flame Thrower

AR-15 Armalite

Sling Shot

Webley Revolver

Nail Bomb

_Narrator: _And see how they compare against the weapons used by the ruthlessly efficient Yakuza:

Walther P38

Sten Gun

Sai

Nunchaku

Ceramic Grenade

_Narrator: _First the two teams will test out their respective mid-range firearms: The IRA flame-thrower and the Yakuza P38.

The IRA went first, and Fred stepped forward onto the firing range, an IRA LPO-50 Flame-Thrower on his back. After aiming, he pulled the trigger. A stream of red hot fire flew from the barrel and engulfed the three dummies. The temperature measurement was off the charts and it was quite apparent that had the dummies been real people, they'd definitely be dead.

Dr. Dorian: This weapon is scary. At the heat of those flames, it is literally cooking these men from the inside out.

Next was Bob, representing the Yakuza, holding the Walther P38. His target, three artificial skulls. Aiming, he fired three shots: the first skull was hit right through the forehead; the second hit the skull threw the left eye socket. The final clipped the forehead, but was finished by a fourth shot, which went through the jaw.

Dr. Dorian: This weapon is very good for mid range accuracy, and can certainly kill, if it hits the right spot. But since it's such a small caliber, a missed shot might not prove deadly, and that could be all the time an opponent needs to finish you off. With the flame thrower, even if they get out of the fire alive, they'd be in far too much pain to be much of a threat. That why I have to give the advantage to the flame-thrower.

Edge: IRA

_Narrator: _Next the teams will test out their long range weaponry: The Yakuza Sten Gun, and the IRA Armalite.

Bob went first this time, and as he loaded his sten he surveyed his targets: Several dummies in IRA attire in a replica of an IRA hideout. Upon receiving the signal he opened fire. He shot each of the five dummies with quick controlled bursts. After a few seconds he stopped and the bodies were examined. Each body had several bullets through the chest, and some had as many as three threw the face. It was declared that each dummy was "dead".

Next was Fred who was checking out his IRA Armalite while checking out the target range: Four Yakuza dummies in a generic Japanese market. At the signal from the testers he opened fire, he peppered the first three in the chest with bullets, but when he got to the fourth, the gun jammed. Fred was able to fix the gun in a couple of seconds and finish the run, but the damage had been done in the eyes of the examiners.

Dr. Dorian: While they are both decent weapons, I think the sten is the superior gun. The Armalite may have the better accuracy, but the Sten is much less likely to jam. In a deadly fire-fight a jam is a catastrophe.

Edge: Yakuza

_Narrator: _Now the two teams will test out their short range weapons: The IRA slingshot and the Yakuza Sai.

Fred, eager to make up for his loss in the long range round took aim with his slingshot. With a quick snap the small metal ball being used as ammunition hit the target skull in the eye.

Next was Bob wielding a wicked set of sai. Stepping toward his clone, he executed a series of jabs with the blades. The blades pierced the dummy easily and and some jabs had the blades poking out the back.

Dr. Dorian: Both of these are rather unusual weapons, but they can get the job done. That said, I've often had to treat people for knife wounds, but I've never had to treat anyone for a slingshot wound.

Edge: Yakuza.

_Narrator: _Now the two teams will demonstrate two weapons unique to their warriors: The Yakuza Nunchaku and the IRA Webley Revolver.

Bob, now twirling a set of nunchaku, advanced on his dummy. He then executed three quick strikes to the head. The first two didn't seem to do much, though the last seemed like it caused a slight concussion.

Fred just rolled his eyes, "Let me help you with that" he said, pointing his revolver at Bob's dummy's skull. With a single shot the dummy's brains quickly decorated the floor.

Dr. Dorian: This time there is no comparison. The nunchaku is very flashy, and can do some moderate physical damage, but just not anywhere near the level of a gun.

Edge: IRA.

_Narrator: _Finally the two teams will test their most explosive weapons: The IRA Nail Bomb, and the Yakuza Ceramic Grenade.

The Yakuza went first again, with Bob hanging a grenade in between three suspended pigs. Once everyone was out of range the grenade was detonated with a loud bang.

When the smoke cleared, the doctor looked at the three bodies. The body closest to the explosion was dead. The next one was likely to have a busted eardrum and maybe a collapsed lung. Either way, severely injured. The last was likely to be dizzy and uncoordinated.

After that Fred carefully set up the IRA nail bomb. Next to it he placed several dummies at various distances. Again everyone was cleared and then the device was set off. The result was a much bigger bang, and a large cloud of smoke.

When it cleared the destruction was evident. The dummies were simply riddled with nails all along their face and torso.

Dr. Dorian: Both of these weapons are horrifying. The ceramic grenade is slightly better in that it is easier to transport, but the level of destruction offered by the nail bomb easily makes up for it.

Edge: IRA

_Narrator: _With all the testing complete, Max Geiger uploads the data gathered from the tests into the battle simulation, developed by Slitherine Studio, to simulate a battle to the death between these two warriors. To make sure that victory isn't snatched by a single lucky blow, the battle will be simulated 1000 times. Who will win in this battle of opposites? The IRA, who go for all out carnage? Or the Yakuza, who strike with deadly precision?

Close Range Edge: Yakuza Sai

Mid Range Edge: IRA Flame-Thrower

Long Range Edge: Yakuza Sten Gun

Special Weapon Edge: IRA Webley Revolver

Explosive Weapon Edge: IRA Nail Bomb

It's time to find out which warrior is truly the deadliest. Max hits the button on the computer, and suddenly the screen goes "Matrix" on us.

The starts off in a hotel lobby. Five IRA guerrillas enter through the main entrance, all heavily-armed. At the same time five Yakuza hit-men get off of the elevator across from the entrance, also armed. Upon seeing each other the two groups immediately open fire on each other. The first to die is an IRA, his chest riddled with bullets from a sten. The second is a yakuza, a shot from an Armalite hitting him right between the eyes. After that the groups spilt up: Three IRA run out the main entrance into the parking lot, with two yakuza in pursuit. The last IRA runs down into the labyrinth of tunnels that was the hotel basement. One of the yakuza decides to follow him instead of heading outside. The last yakuza runs up a set of side stairs to avoid the gun fire.

**Yakuza: I I I I IRA: I I I I **

A yakuza pursued an IRA and saw him turn a corner. Smirking, the man took out his Walther and and turned the corner, prepared to fire. He never got the chance since as soon as he turned that corner he was engulfed in flames. He screamed out as his body was consumed by the fires of the IRA's flame-thrower.

**Yakuza: I I I IRA: I I I I**

Inside the hotel, the yakuza who had taken the stairs heard the scream of his comrade. Heading to a nearby window, he opened it and looked down to see his fellow yakuza getting barbecued. Deciding to take revenge, he reached into his coat pocket and withdrew a ceramic grenade. Pulling the pin he let the grenade fall down toward the unsuspecting IRA member.

Down below, said IRA was just about to step over the body to make his way back to his comrades when he heard "thunk" of something bouncing off his flame-thrower pack. Turning to see what it was, he only had time to widen his eyes at the sight of the grenade before it went off, blowing him sky high.

**Yakuza: I I I IRA: I I I **

In the bowls of the basement an IRA was setting up his bomb equipment and attempting to attach them to the support beams of the hotel. Half-way through he heard someone come in behind him. He turned and saw a yakuza with a pair of nunchaku. The yakuza let out a war cry and expertly spun the nunchaku in skillful display. The IRA rolled his eyes pulled out his webley revolver and shot the yakuza in the chest, before going back to his work.

**Yakuza: I I IRA: I I I **

An IRA ran from his yakuza pursuer. In an attempt to escape he ran behind an eighteen-wheeler for cover, and drew his slingshot. When the yakuza turned the corner the IRA shot him with the slingshot. Unfortunately the pellet only hit the yakuza in the shoulder. The yakuza drew a pair of sai and rushed forward. With a sideways arcing swing, he stabbed the IRA's hand and pinned it to the side of the eighteen-wheeler. The IRA tried to punch his attacker but the yakuza grabbed the wrist, and stabbed it to the eighteen-wheeler too. The IRA kicked out, hitting the yakuza in the nose, breaking it. Now furious, the yakuza drew a third sai and rushed forward; and impaled the IRA threw the neck with the blade. Satisfied he was dead, the yakuza left the now crucified man and made his way back to the hotel.

**Yakuza: I I IRA: I I **

An IRA had hidden behind a car soon after the fight was taken outside. After making sure his Armalite was loaded, the IRA cautiously looked over the car for the enemy. There he spied a yakuza heading back toward the hotel. The IRA stood up and unloaded several shots into the yakuza before he knew what hit him.

**Yakuza: I IRA: I I **

That same IRA made his way back into the hotel, hoping to find his comrade. On entering he quickly headed toward the basement to check on his friends progress. He never noticed the yakuza coming down the stairs behind him. The yakuza drew his Walther and shot the IRA in the head. The man was dead before he hit the ground. The yakuza stepped over him and headed into the basement himself.

**Yakuza: I IRA: I**

Hearing footsteps approaching, the last IRA looked up, he'd just finished work, and had just started the timer, and was now packing up. He quickly ran toward the basement window and just managed to make it out. Looking back through it he saw the last yakuza enter the room. Glad it was not one of his friends, the last IRA took off.

The yakuza entered the room pistol drawn. His eyes immediately went to the form of his fallen friend. He ran to him quickly to check for a pulse. Finding none, he was distracted by a strange beeping noise. Looking around he found its source: A clock rigged to several explosives attached to various support beams. His eyes widened as he saw the clock about to hit zero. "OH SHI..." BOOOOOOOM!

Outside the IRA turned to look at the collapsing hotel. He smirked, and raising his hand gave a cry to his fallen brothers: "FOR IRELAND-!"

**Yakuza: 0 IRA: I**

Winner: IRA

IRA: 552

AR-15 Armalite: 320

Nail Bomb: 135

Flame-Thrower: 75

Webley Revolver: 17

Sling Shot: 5

Yakuza: 448

Sten Gun: 365

Ceramic Grenade: 32

Sai: 20

Walther P38: 16

Nunchaku: 15

_Narrator: _In this battle of opposites, it was the fearsome freedom fighters, the IRA, that managed victory. With their powerful Armalite and Nail Bomb both scoring triple digit kills, they were able to blast the yakuza off the streets and into the morgue.

Dr. Dorian: I'm not really surprised the IRA won, their weapons were meant to be used to take out large groups and they work very well in small cells. The yakuza, I think relied a bit to much on precision.

_We see the last living IRA member back at the hideout, with a new cell; already planning their next attack. _

**The End.**

**Next Time, on Deadliest Warrior: **

_A Ninja, the silent assassin from Japan, takes on A Maori, the fierce New Zealand Warrior. It'll be a battle of Steel against Nature, and silent kills against all out brute force. _


	3. Ninja vs Maori

**Deadliest Warrior Chapter 3: Ninja vs. Maori**

A Ninja; the legendary master of death from Japan.

_(A ninja is seen on a roof, cloaked in darkness). _

A Maori warrior; fierce, unforgiving, slayer of the south seas.

_(a maori is seen engaged in a battle with a rival tribe)._

**WHO IS DEADLIEST?**

To find out, our world class fighters are testing histories most lethal weapons. Using 21st century science, we'll see what happens when the two warriors go toe to toe. No rules. No safety. No mercy. It's a duel to the death, to decide who is...THE DEADLIEST WARRIOR!

Ninja:

Height - 5' 2"

Weight - 135 LBS

Armor - None

Gear - 10 LBS

Maori Warrior:

Height - 5' 9"

Weight - 180 LBS

Armor - None

Gear - 8 LBS

Here in the Fight Club, we will test four of the Ninjas' weapons:

- Black Eggs

- Ninjato

- Kusarigama

- Blowgun

against four deadly Maori weapons:

- Stingray Spear

- Mere

- Shark Tooth Club

- Taiaha

First the two teams will test out their mid range weaponry: The Ninjas' Black Eggs against the Maori's Stingray Spear.

The ninjas' teammate steps up and quickly crushing the egg in his palm, tosses the blinding powder in the eyes of a gel torso (which to provide a bit of context and realism has been drawn with Maori tattoos on it ). The dust achieves full, blinding coverage.

Dr. Dorian: Now, this weapon is scary because when this glass gets into your eyes, you can't get it out. And every blink, you're digging the glass deeper into you eyes, which will result in permanent blindness…. But this attack isn't enough to kill anyone, just blind them.

But, the Maori don't seem at all intimidated, and respond with a weapon of their own, the stingray spear!

The Maori teammate steps up to a gel dummy and with a quick thrust, ram the spear deep into the dummy's chest. The team inspects the frightful damage: the stingray spines had remained lodged in the gel's chest cavity, as they were removed they continued to do damage.

Dr. Dorian: This weapon does terrible damage even after the initial thrust. Against the black eggs which, while a good distraction, have no killing ability, the advantage for mid range goes to the Maori.

Edge: Maori

Next, the two teams test out the respective close range weaponry: The Maori's Mere club against the ninjas Ninjato.

The maori team steps up with there special club, and take aim at their dummy. The man first swings and hits the dummy in the jaw, and then hits the temple on the back swing. When the team inspects the damage, they see that the skull has a broken neck and jaw, and the top of the skull is fractured.

Dr. Dorian: This weapon was very impressive to me. Any one of these hits could be a kill shot. This is defiantly a deadly weapon, however, it is not very fast and the reach is not very far.

The ninja team is not impressed. They step up with their own deadly weapon: the Ninjato. The ninja team mate readies himself, and then performs a series of deadly lightning fast slashes, two on the chest, and the last on the neck, nearly decapitating the dummy.

Dr. Dorian: There's no comparison really, the ninjato is longer, faster and deadlier. Therefore, the advantage will be given to the ninjas'

Edge: Ninja

Next the teams will compare the Maori's mid Taiaha to the Ninjas' long range blowgun and Shuriken.

The maori took hold of the taiaha and walked up to a hanging slab of beef. He took hold of the weapon in both hands, and went to town on the beef. The heavy wooden staff easily broke bones and flesh, and after a few more seconds, had reduced the beef to a bloody mess.

Dr. Dorian: This weapon is truly terrifying. It's so versatile, it can block or attack, and I think the ninjas will have a hard time beating that.

The ninja team takes a shot at a gel dummy with several shuriken. While most just bounce off, some do hit, but are only light scratches. The blowgun on the other hand, did manage to score some hits, but only when at a closer distance.

Dr. Dorian: Unfortunately for the ninjas these weapons just won't cut it. The shuriken are just plain ineffective and the blowgun only has a limited range in which it is genuinely useful.

Edge: Maori

Finally the two teams will test out their special weapons: The Ninja Kusarigama, and the Maori Shark Tooth Club.

The ninja steps up to his gel dummy and begins to twirl the chain of his weapon, causing the ball to spin rapidly. When he felt he'd gained enough momentum he threw the ball at the dummy, where it collided with the skull. Then he walked over and using the bladed end, stabbed the dummy straight threw the heart.

Next the maori walked up to a slab of meat and, after waiting for the signal, went to town on it with his shark tooth club. Soon the meat was nothing but shreds, sporting several deep gashes. And inside those gashes were places where shark's teeth had broken off in the body.

Dr. Dorian: Both of these weapons are very deadly, no doubt about it. But which one is deadlier? The club, provides several lacerations, and the teeth provide damage even after ward. However, the kusarigama is basically two weapons in one, is very versatile, and being steel is just a bit more powerful in terms of strength. That's why I have to give the edge to the kusarigama.

Edge: Ninja.

_Narrator: _With all the testing complete, Max Geiger uploads the data gathered from the tests into the battle simulation, developed by Slitherine Studio, to simulate a battle to the death between these two warriors. To make sure that victory isn't snatched by a single lucky blow, the battle will be simulated 1000 times. Who will win in this battle of opposites? The stealthy ninja, or the direct maori? Steel or Nature?

Primary Range Edge: Ninjas' Ninjato

Mid Range Edge: Maori's Stingray Spear

Secondary Weapon Edge: Maori's Taiaha

Special Weapon Edge: Ninjas' Kusarigama

It's time to find out which warrior is truly the deadliest. Max hits the button on the computer, and suddenly the screen goes "Matrix" on us.

The fight takes place in a densely wooded forest. In a small clearing, we see a ninja meditating, his ninjato placed across his lap. Suddenly he hears a strange chanting. He looks up and on the other side of the clearing, is a maori, performing the Haka.

The maori, his chant finished, picks up his stingray spear in one hand, and mere in the other and charges at the ninja.

The ninja stands wide eyed as the attacker is soon upon him. The maori jabs out with his spear, but the ninja bends over backward to avoid it. Quickly the ninja uses his ninjato to slice the spear in half.

Growling in annoyance the maori tosses his now defunct weapon aside and tries to bring down the mere club on the ninjas' head. The ninja steps back to avoid however, and returns the strike with his sword. The maori manages to deflect the blade with his club, the strong jade managing to withstand strikes from the longer steel sword.

After trading a few more blows, the ninja decides to try a different tactic and suddenly turns and runs; the maori in hot pursuit.

Spying a large log, the ninja hops up on it and tosses down his ninjato on the other side, while simultaneously reaching in to his pocket for a special surprise for his pursuer. Turning to face his charging opponent, the ninja quickly crushes the object in his hand, and tosses it at the maori.

The maori, has no time to react, and so is caught full in the face with the blinding black egg. Screaming in pain as the blinding agent goes to work on his eyes, his hands reflexively fly to his face; and he drops his mere club.

Seeing an opening, the ninja kicks the club off into the thick bushes. He then punches the maori in the gut, causing him to double over. The ninja then leaps over the log, grabs his sword and runs off into the thick foliage.

The maori somehow managed to get the blinding dust from his eyes, only to find himself alone on the edge of the clearing. The maori quickly went behind a tree where he had stored some of his spare weapons before the battle, and after arming himself with his taiaha and shark club began to search for his prey.

While trekking through the woods, he heard "fwick" noise, and turned his head as a small dart buried itself in the wood next to his head. He turned and saw the ninja loading another poison dart into the barrel, and quickly stabbing his taiaha into the ground picked up his shark club and charged unthinkingly at the ninja.

The ninja fired another dart, but unfortunately the dart hit the side of the shark club, which the maori had brought up to deflect the dart. Knowing he had no time to fire another shot, the ninja turned to flee. But before he made it far, or even had to time to grab his ninjato, the maori struck him across the back of the shoulder with the shark club, the teeth tearing at flesh.

Looking up and seeing the islander tower above him, the ninja tried to fend him off by throwing a shuriken. The metal star flew true and logged in the maori's thigh. This caused the maori to pause, which was all the time the ninja needed.

The ninja lashed out with his foot and caught the maori in the stomach, where he doubled over. He then kicked up, hitting the maori in the jaw. The maori stumbled back as the ninja quickly stood up and grabbed the maori's wrist. The ninja quickly karate chopped the maori in the neck, twisted the wrist holding the club, and jabbed his knee upward. The maori soon found himself out of breath and with out his weapon; and by the time he'd looked up the ninja was gone again.

The maori angrily picked up his taiaha and, forgoing all pre-tense of stealth, charged through the bramble. Soon he had found his way back to the clearing. Hearing a clink of metal he turned and saw his hated adversary, holding a wicked looking kusarigama.

The ninja twirled the weapon's chain slowly, but began to pick up speed. He tossed the metal sphere, but the maori ducked. He tried again , but the maori was able to bat the offending weapon away with his taiaha.

Now close enough to where swing the chain would be impossible, the ninja was forced to duck under a swing from the maori. The ninja was soon having to fend off more vicious swing using the blade end of his kusarigama.

But seeing an opening, the ninja managed to roll away from the maori and, putting some distance between them, began swing the chain again. By now both warriors were breathing heavily. The both new that the battle had to end here and now.

For a third time the ninja threw his chain, and again the maori batted at it with his taiaha. But this time the chain wrapped around the staff. Seeing this the ninja pulled on the chain. Hard. Not expecting this the maori found himself being pulled forward, and soon fell flat on his face.

Seeing a true golden opportunity, the ninja lunged forward with the bladed end of the kusarigama. With it he buried it into the back of the maori's neck, killing him instantly. The maori jerked under the ninja, then lay still. After making sure his opponent was truly defeated, the ninja gathered his gear and limped off to find a place to heal his wounds.

Winner: Ninja!

Ninja: 520

Kusarigama: 277

Ninjato: 180

Blowgun: 61

Shuriken: 2

Black Egg: 0

Maori: 480

Taiaha: 194

Mere: 121

Shark Tooth Club: 116

Stingray Spear: 49

_Narrator: _In this battle of opposites, it was the ninja who proved victorious. This was due largely to his ninjato and kusarigama which both had kills in the triple digits. The maori while scoring an impressive 480, and having three of his four weapons have triple digit kills, it simply wasn't enough to over come the skills of his opponent.

Dr. Dorian: I will say that the maori did have some weapons that impressed me. He did the best with the materials he had on hand, but, there is a reason we still use steel today for weapons instead of wood and bone.

_We see the ninja, wearing fresh bandages for his wounds. He is sitting in a meditative pose once more, admiring the beautiful carvings on his new taiaha staff, at his feet, we see a shining jade club amongst his other equipment. _

**The End.**

******Next Time, on Deadliest Warrior: **

The Bullets will fly as the Viet Cong take on the Medellin Cartel. Bombs and traps of all sorts will decide the match, as the rag-tag guerilla force attempts to route the forces of one of the most famous drug empires.


	4. Viet Cong vs Medellin Cartel

_Disclaimer: I don't own Deadliest Warrior; but I wish I did. _

**Deadliest Warrior, Chapter 4: Viet Cong vs. Medellin Cartel**

_Narrator: _

The Viet Cong; the rag-tag guerilla force that took the American military head on, and one the Vietnam War.

_(We see a group of Viet Cong setting up booby-traps). _

_Narrator: _

The Medellin Cartel; Colombia's killer drug lords who built the world's largest cocaine empires.

_(We see a group of cartel hit-men guarding a stash of cocaine). _

**WHO IS DEADLIEST?**

To find out, our world class fighters are testing histories most lethal weapons. Using 21st century science, we'll see what happens when the two warriors go toe to toe. No rules. No safety. No mercy. It's a duel to the death, to decide who is...THE DEADLIEST WARRIOR!

Viet Cong:

Reign of Terror: 1954 - 1976

Height: 5' 4"

Weight: 120 LBS

Allegiance: Ho Chi Minh

Medellin Cartel:

Reign Of Terror: 1975 - 1993

Height: 5' 9"

Weight: 175 LBS

Crimes: Cocaine Trafficking

_Narrator: _Here in the Fight Club, we take four weapons used by the Colombia's Drug Lords:

M60 Machine Gun

Mini Uzi

Machete

Car Bomb

_Narrator: _and pit them against weapons used by the guerilla force

of Vietnam:

MAT-49N

Tokarev-TT33 Pistol

Punji Stakes

POMZ-2 & F-1 Grenade

_Narrator: _First the two will put their warriors long range weapons to the test: The Cartel's M60 Machine Gun, and the Viet Cong's MAT-49N.

Fred went first, adjusting the M60 into position. On the testers signal he began to shoot at the moving target dummies. The test was going fine for him until the gun jammed. It took Fred a couple of seconds, but he got it to work again. Then it looked like the test was fine, and he was certainly able to hit the targets, then his gun jammed again. That was when the testers called a halt to the test.

Dr. Dorian: Even a signal jam in a fight is considered a catastrophic failure. To have two in a single test, is terrible.

Next was Bob easily holding the MAT-49N. When his test began, he started shooting at the targets. He was able to hit all of his targets, even getting a couple of instant kills. And never once did his gun jam.

Dr. Dorian: The gun did the job, it hit the targets quickly and lethally, and it didn't jam. No contest, I give my edge to the MAT

Edge: Viet Cong

_Narrator: _Next, the two teams will test out their mid range weaponry: The Viet Cong's Tokarev-TT33 Pistol, and the Medellin Cartel's Mini Uzi.

Bob went first this time loading his pistol he surveyed the target range. Five targets, one clip. Taking aim, he opened fire. One by one he hit the targets in the head, stomach, throat, etc. Until finally, after fifteen seconds, he'd finished.

Dr. Dorian: This was impressive, not only because of the time, but also because of the amazing accuracy.

Next was Fred, who was seated on the back of a motorcycle. His job was to shoot at the target in the car that the motorcycle would pull up to. The vehicle came to a stop and Fred let a rip. Bullets tore into the car, shattering the windows and ripping holes in the bodies. Soon, it was all over.

Dr. Dorian: This is a bloodbath. The weapon is automatic, and the way its used, you don't need to be accurate, just point and shot. Also, a larger ammo capacity gives it another advantage. For those reasons, I've got to give it to the uzi on this one.

Edge: Medellin Cartel

_Narrator: _Now it's time for our two teams to compare their close range weaponry: The Medellin Cartel's Machete, and the Viet Cong's Punji Stakes.

Fred took a few practice swings with his machete. Then he faced the dummy. His first swing took off the dummy's arm. The next one nearly decapitated the dummy. Finally he stabbed the blade through the dummy's chest, and was rewarded with the blade coming out the back.

Dr. Dorian: This is a wickedly sharp weapon. There's not much to say about it other then that. It's versatile, and very deadly.

Next came Bob, who was setting up two different punji stake traps: the pit fall, and the falling spike ball. When the traps were set up, he set off the first one. The dummy fell into the hole, the spikes punctured various points on his chest. Definitely an instant kill. The next one caused a large mud ball, riddled with spikes to swing toward a dummy. The ball knocked the dummy backwards onto the ground. The force also caused the skull to crack when it hit the ground. There were some wounds on the chest, but it was hards to tell by the placement if that would kill.

Dr. Dorian: These traps are very impressive. The pit fall is very innovative. There is little to no defense against it. Considering what these spikes are covered in, even if, by some miracle, you do live, you're very likely to get an infection and die anyway. As for the falling stone trap, that's also hard to avoid, even if the spikes don't kill you, the being laid flat on your ass part, where you split your skull, will. So, because these are much harder to defend against, I give the advantage to the punji stakes.

Edge: Viet Cong

_Narrator: _Finally, the two teams will test out their explosive weapons: The Viet Cong's POMZ-2 & F-1 Grenade and the Medellin Cartel's Car Bomb.

Bob was again setting up his booby-trap grenade. The device was operated via tripwire, with a second explosive underneath, just incase the first was disarmed. Once the explosives were all rigged up, everyone got behind the blast shield. When all were secure, the explosives were detonated. The dummies nearest the device were killed, but the ones standing just out of the way, were seemed relatively fine.

Dr. Dorian: While the fact that the bomb itself is booby-trapped is devious, the effectiveness is somewhat hampered by the fact that the target has to wander into it. Also, it really only seems to effect the one triggering it, leaving others spared.

Next was Fred, rigging a car with a bomb and detonator. They were using a small amount, only forty pounds of TNT. Once they had the car surrounded by dummies, the crew retreated behind the blast walls. Then they set off the bomb. The explosion was enormous, and utterly decimated the surrounding land. When the team check the area out, they found that all the dummies had been killed. They'd either been torn apart by the blast, or killed by the shockwave.

Dr. Dorian: This weapon is truly devastating, the only problem is that it has the potential to kill allies too. It's also only somewhat mobile. Still, I think its power speaks for itself. Edge to the car bomb.

Edge: Medellin Cartel

_Narrator: _With all the testing complete, Max Geiger uploads the data gathered from the tests into the battle simulation, developed by Slitherine Studio, to simulate a battle to the death between these two warriors. To make sure that victory isn't snatched by a single lucky blow, the battle will be simulated 1000 times. Who will win in this battle of opposites? The Cartel, who seek only to spread their drug empire? Or the Viet Cong, who seek to route all intruders form their homeland?

Close Range Edge: Viet Cong's Punji Stakes

Mid Range Edge: Medellin Cartel's Mini Uzi

Long Range Edge: Viet Cong's MAT-49N

Explosive Weapon Edge: Medellin Cartel's Car Bomb

It's time to find out which warrior is truly the deadliest. Max hits the button on the computer, and suddenly the screen goes "Matrix" on us.

The fight takes place in the middle of the Vietnam jungle. There, we find that the Medellin Cartel has set up camp, hoping to expand their drug empire here in Vietnam. In the camp, the head drug lord, along with two agents are busy counting cash and checking over their product. The other two cartel members are patrolling the perimeter, looking for any signs of trouble. In the past few weeks, the Viet Cong have been resisting the Cartel in their attempts to make a base in the country.

One guard while patrolling the jungle, is ambushed by three Viet Cong fighters. He is disarmed, and pinned to the ground. The leader, begins to interrogate him, holding a pistol to his head. Unfortunately the Cartel member doesn't speak vietnamese, nor does the Cong speak spanish. The lack of any response angers the Viet Cong leader, so he prepares to shoot the Cartel, but before he can, a second Cartel bursts from the underbrush, and seeing his comrade in danger fires his M60 Machine Gun, killing the man next to the Viet Cong leader. The Cong disperse, and the Cartel tries to shoot the leader, but his gun jams, and the leader is able to shoot him in the head with his Pistol.

**Viet Cong: I I I I Medellin Cartel: I I I I **

Hearing the gunfire in the surrounding forest, the Cartel boss orders his men to investigate while he ran to their vehicle to arm himself. One of the Cartel members, walking into the high grass that surrounded the camp, was startled when he ran into an equally surprised Viet Cong. The Cong's hand went for his gun, but the Cartel was quicker. He simply raised his Mini Uzi and blasted the Cong in the chest.

**Viet Cong: I I I Medellin Cartel: I I I I **

Fleeing through the woods, the Cartel member who had been taken captive rushed through the brambles back to camp. Unfortunately, while running, he tripped over a wire. Standing up, he heard a sound coming form the trees. Fearing the worst he looked for the source, only to be hit by a Punji Sky-Ball. The ball knocked him back, and the spikes dug into his flesh. Though they didn't hit any vital spots, they did knock him back, into a Punji Stake Pit. The stakes skewered multiple parts of his body at once, killing the man instantly.

**Viet Cong: I I I Medellin Cartel: I I I **

While searching the jungle for enemies, one of the Cartel is ambushed by a Cong, and killed by the Cong's MAT-49N. When the Cong goes over to make sure he's dead, a second Cartel jumps out from behind the foliage, swinging his Machete. Before the surprised Cong can shoot, the Cartel had cut off both hands. The Cong stared at his stump in horror, while the Cartel agent ginned evilly, before thrusting his blade through the Cong's chest.

**Viet Cong: I I Medellin Cartel: I I**

That was when another Cong ran out from the foliage brandishing a pistol. The Cartel was able to duck behind a tree to avoid getting shot. When the Cong ran out of ammo, he turned and ran, the Cartel in hot pursuit. The Cong, leaped over a log, and ducked left, the Cartel right behind him. The Cartel also jumped over the log. What he didn't do was avoid stepping on a hidden Cong trip wire. When the Cartel sprung the trap, the hidden grenade blew him sky high. The Cong sighed in relief, before reloading his pistol and heading to the main camp.

**Viet Cong: I I Medellin Cartel: I**

The Cartel boss paced his camp, nervous. His men had yet to report back yet. Hearing a rustling he stepped into the shadow of his tent. He saw a Cong emerge, holding a pistol. The Cong walks into the tent, making it to the center of the tent before the Drug lord blasts him with his uzi.

**Viet Cong: I Medellin Cartel: I**

The Cartel boss went over to inspect the body. Meanwhile, the leader of the Viet Cong squad steps out from behind a tree, his MAT-49N drawn. Hearing a noise, the Cartel boss turns and sees the Cong leader. The Cong opens fire, and the drug lord tires to run, but a bullet catches him in the shoulder, causing him to fall to the ground. As he falls he lands on the edge of the table, tipping it over, causing many piles of drugs to fall on him.

Approaching cautiously, the Cong leader's eyes scan over the scene. He soon finds what he's looking for though, as he spots a some car keys. He grabs them before making his way to the Drug lords car. Looking in the back, he sees a sack of money, and another filled with cocaine. Smirking to himself the leader gets in and starts the car before driving off.

Back at the camp, the drug lord opens his eyes. Rolling over, he sees the taillights of his car fading into the distance. The drug lord gives an evil grin, and reaches into his coat pocket. From there he extracts a small device, with a transmitter and a small button. Judging the Cong leader to be a safe distance from him, the Cartel leader hits the button.

Back with the Cong, a small device attached to the bottom of the stolen car flashes briefly, before detonating with a tremendous explosion, killing the last Viet Cong.

**Viet Cong: 0 Medellin Cartel: I**

Winner: Medellin Cartel

Medellin Cartel: 546

Mini Uzi: 205

Car Bomb: 157

M60 Machine Gun: 113

Machete: 71

Viet Cong: 454

MAT-49N: 195

Punji Stakes: 101

POMZ-2 & F-1 Grenade: 98

Tokarev-TT33 Pistol: 60

_Narrator: _In this spectacular battle, it was the malicious Medellin Cartel that snatched up victory, with three of their four weapons managing triple digit kills. The Viet Cong didn't fare too poorly either. Their greatest weapon was the MAT-49N machine gun.

Dr. Dorian: I'll admit, I am somewhat surprised the Viet Cong lost this fight. I thought that their traps and ingenuity would carry them through. But I guess it just couldn't overcome the Cartel's ferocious equipment.

_We see the Cartel lord back at his camp, his wound bandaged. It was painful, but he would live; though he couldn't say the same for his foe. He'd radioed for backup, and soon more of his men would arrive. The drug lord took another puff on his cigar, before throwing his head back and laughing like a mad man. _

**The End.**

**Next Time on Deadliest Warrior: **

The Viking, the fierce norse raider, will take on the Gladiator, Rome's master of arena combat. It's a steel on steel match, and neither combat will give an inch in this all out brawl!


	5. Viking vs Gladiator

_Disclaimer: I don't own Deadliest Warrior; but I wish I did. _

**Deadliest Warrior, Chapter 5: Viking vs. Gladiator**

_Narrator: _

The Viking; battled crazed berzerker who terrorized ancient Europe.

_(We see a Viking vessel, carrying a group of bloodthirsty warriors toward a new land.)_

_Narrator: _

The Gladiator; Proud, thrilling killer of ancient Rome.

_(We see two Gladiators battling in an arena, a crowd roaring around them.)_

**WHO IS DEADLIEST?**

To find out, our world class fighters are testing histories most lethal weapons. Using 21st century science, we'll see what happens when the two warriors go toe to toe. No rules. No safety. No mercy. It's a duel to the death, to decide who is...THE DEADLIEST WARRIOR!

Viking:

Height - 5' 11"

Weight - 180 LBS

Gear - 65 LBS

Armor - Chain Mail

Gladiator:

Height - 5 ' 8"

Weight - 185 LBS

Gear - 10 to 38 LBS

Armor - Bronze

_Narrator: _Here in the Fight Club, we take four weapons used by the savage viking raiders:

Great Axe

Spear

Viking Shield

Long Sword

_Narrator: _And pit them against the weapons used by the professional killers, Gladiators:

Trident & Net

Sling

Sica

Cestus/Scissor

_Narrator: _First the two teams will test their warriors long range weaponry: The viking spear and the gladiators sling.

First Fred stepped up, and taking careful aim, shot the stone at the skulls being used as targets. The stone flew true, and struck the skull right between the eyes.

Dr. Dorian: Well, it's certainly accurate, and if hit in the right spot, it could be lethal. I am however, concerned that when the range increases, it's accuracy decreases.

The viking team agrees, and claims that the sling is nothing compared to their spear.

Bob stood at the target line, facing a set of thick wooden targets. He then began to throw spears at the targets with varying degrees of accuracy, but every hit is deep, some penetrating the wood out the back.

Next, he proceeded to take a spear in each hand, and tossed them two at a time. The results were similar to the first test, though it was noted that the spear throw by the stronger arm pierced deeper.

Dr. Dorian: The important thing to remember here is killing ability. The gladiator is wearing minimal armor, while the viking has his helmet, his chain mail, and his large shield. Yes, the sling has the potential to be lethal, but only in a very small area. The spear on the other hand, has a much larger area in which it can cause a killing blow.

Edge: Viking

_Narrator: _Now the two teams will compare their respective mid range weaponry: the Viking Great Axe, and the Gladiator Trident & Net combo.

Fred stepped forward, trident held firmly in hand. On the signal the stepped toward the gel torso (which in an attempted to be accurate to battle conditions, was wearing viking chain mail) and rammed the prongs of the trident deep into the chest, piercing the chain mail and causing a slight spray of artificial blood.

Dr. Dorian: This weapon is very effective, and with the net to hinder opponents the lethality of the weapon only increases.

Next Bob presented his great axe. Taking the two handed weapon, he raised it high above his head. He then brought it down with a great deal of force, almost splitting his gel torso in two with it.

Dr. Dorian: There is now doubt that the weapon is indeed deadly. However, it's a two handed weapon as opposed to the one-handed trident. It also takes time, as the weapon can not be swung very fast. For that, I think I have to give it to the Gladiator's.

Edge: Gladiator.

_Narrator: _Next the two teams will test the weapons their warriors used for close-quarter combat: The Gladiator's Cestus and Scissor, against the Viking's Long Sword.

Fred slipped on the cestus and walked toward a slab of beef. Taking a boxing stance, he began giving the beef a series of strong jabs and punches. When he was done, the beef had several broken bones and was severely bruised.

Next he slipped on another gladiator favorite: the scissor. Turning back to the same slab of meat he punched it with the scissor. The blade went right through it and almost got stuck. After pulling it free, he continued to punch and slice, almost completely cutting the meat in half.

Bob took the long sword from the table and walked toward his dummy. On the signal, he slashed brutally at the dummy's head. In just two blows, he'd managed to decapitate the dummy.

Dr. Dorian: Both weapons are deadly, and I've never seen a weapon go through a side of beef like that scissor did, but I still think the edge should go to the viking. The sword is long, and against a poorly armored enemy like the gladiator is sure to be very effective.

Edge: Viking

_Narrator: _And now, for the final test, our experts will test out our two warriors special weapons: The Viking Shield and the Gladiator Sica.

Bob took the shield and strapped it to his arm. He then proceeded to demonstrate several moves that could be used with the shield. He slammed the shield into the side of a dummies head, and rammed it into its' chest.

But Fred remained unimpressed, stating that the gladiator sica was designed to defeat shields. To demonstrate how sharp the blade was, he took the sword and jabbed the blade into his dummy. The blade went through and pierced the heart, before coming out the back. Next, to see how it would stand up against a viking shield, Fred stabbed and slashed at one. When he slashed the sword, he only chipped it slightly, but when he stabbed, the blade punched through the wood.

Dr. Dorian: The shield is a very good tool, very versatile. But if it can't stop a sword, it's not much good is it?

Edge: Gladiator

_Narrator: _With all the testing complete, Max Geiger uploads the data gathered from the tests into the battle simulation, developed by Slitherine Studio, to simulate a battle to the death between these two warriors. To make sure that victory isn't snatched by a single lucky blow, the battle will be simulated 1000 times. Who will win in this battle of opposites? The gladiator who fights for glory and survival? Or the viking, who fights to conquer all that stand in his way?

Close Range Edge: Viking Long Sword

Mid Range Edge: Gladiator Trident & Net

Long Range Edge: Viking Spear

Special Weapon Edge: Gladiator Sica

It's time to find out which warrior is truly the deadliest. Max hits the button on the computer, and suddenly the screen goes "Matrix" on us.

The fight takes place on a flat plain, just outside a forest. A gladiator walks across the plain. A viking emerges from the forest. The two warriors see each other, and assume battle positions. The viking props his shield against a tree a readies a spear. The gladiator positions his shield and begins to twirl his sling. The stone flew from the weapon and struck the viking on the helmet, startling hims. Shaking it off, he tightened his grip on the spear, took two steps forward and tossed it.

But the gladiator saw it coming and raised his shield to block. But the impact was stronger than he expected and it threw off his aim; causing the rock from the sling to go off course and hit the viking in the shoulder. This had the unintended consequence of making the viking drop his second spear. Now out of ammo, the gladiator picked up his trident and charged at the viking.

Seeing the gladiator charge, the viking picked up his great axe. Swinging it downward the axe got got in the prongs of the trident, pulling it down. Unfortunately for the viking, the prongs were able to pierce his chain-mail. But instead of hitting him in the chest he'd dragged it off course where it nicked his arm.

Separating their weapons the viking slammed his axe into the gladiator's shield. Once there, the viking tugged the shield away, leaving the gladiator defenseless.

Without his shield, the gladiator grabbed his net from his belt and tossed it onto the viking, entangling him. He tried to skewer the viking in the stomach with the trident, but the axe was still free, and a swing knocked it off course, so the trident hit the viking in the leg.

Ignoring the pain the viking took his axe and cut the trident in two. He backed away while using the blade of his axe to cut the ropes of the net.

Now without his trident or net, the gladiator stepped back. He unsheathed his sica, and put on his scissor. He then charged the norseman before he could regain his bearings.

Sica met axe in a contest of strength, and the gladiator tried to swipe at the Viking's chest with his scissor. Unfortunately the scissor just couldn't get through the chain-mail. As they charged each other again, the gladiator decided to try something different. When the sica and axe were locked, he slashed the sica upward, cutting the wooden rod holding the axe head.

Now holding a useless stick in his hand, the viking jumped back and attempted to draw his sword. But the gladiator was relentless and jumped forward to end his unarmed adversary. He swung his sica downward but the viking grabbed his his arm. He tried to punch forward with his scissor but the viking caught that arm to. The viking then kicked the gladiator in the chest and sent him tumbling backward, the scissor slipping right off his hand as he went down.

The gladiator stood and faced the viking who had by now managed to draw his long sword. While his scissor may have been lost, he still had the deadly cestus on. The two warrior brutes charged each other and began a deadly sort of dance with their blades. Each trading blows but neither gaining the upper hand.

Finally they both attempted a disarming move on the other, but this only resulted in both swords flying out of their hands to land toward the vikings forgotten shield. The two warriors looked at one another, then raced toward their swords.

It looked like the viking was going to get there first, but the gladiator tackled him the the ground just as he reached the swords and began to viciously beat him about the face with the cestus.

Trying desperately to reach his sword, the viking tried to ignore the brutal punches to his face, while trying not to black out. Just then he felt the handle of a sword! He quickly grabbed it and jammed the blade, the sica it turned out, into the gladiator's side.

The gladiator reared back in pain, attempting to dislodge the blade from his side. That was all the time the viking needed to grab his shield and swing it into the side of the gladiator's helmeted head with a resounding "BONG!"

The gladiator stood wearily; his helmet massively dented, his side bleeding profusely, and holding his sica loosely in his hand. The viking was standing now too, long sword in one hand, shield in the other.

The two barbarians once again charged each other, the gladiator swinging his sica in an attempt to cut through the shield. The sword found its mark, but only chipped the wood slightly. The viking struck out with his sword, managing to nick the gladiator's shoulder. The gladiator tried to punch the viking in the face with his cestus but the viking simply raised his shield.

Unfortunately for the gladiator, his spiked cestus got stuck. He now found himself unable to pull his fist from the wooden shield. The viking, taking advantage of this situation, suddenly charged. This caused the gladiator to be pushed along, unable to get a decent shot with his sica, until the viking slammed him into a nearby tree. With his opponent now hopelessly pinned, the viking slowly raised his long sword. Then, in one quick motion, slit the gladiator's throat. Blood spilled from the wound as the life left the gladiator. Stepping back the viking watched the body slump to the ground. Stepping back, he bowed his head to his fallen enemy, then raising his sword toward the sky, screamed: For Valhalla!

Winner: Viking

Viking: 573

Long Sword: 200

Great Axe: 158

Viking Spear: 115

Viking Shield: 100

Gladiator: 427

Trident & Net: 190

Sica: 140

Cestus & Scissor: 73

Sling: 24

_Narrator: _In this battle of similar opponents, it was the viking that proved to be the deadlier man. With all of his weapons scoring in the triple digits, it was the long sword that was the deadliest weapon in this fight. The gladiator didn't fare too poorly, with the majority of his kills being given because of his favorite weapon, the trident and net combination.

Dr. Dorian: While these are certainly similar opponents, I think what really tipped the scale was the fact that the gladiator isn't wearing any armor.

_We see the viking calling out to Valhalla, before making his way back to his men, the gladiator scissor now strapped to his belt. _

**The End. **

**Next Time On Deadliest Warrior: **

It's a crook on crook battle, as the Jesse James Gang, the six-shooting cowboy bank robbers of the old west; take on the Somali Pirates, today's modern day hijackers of the sea.


	6. Somali Pirates vs Jesse James Gang

_Disclaimer: I don't own Deadliest Warrior; but I wish I did. _

**Deadliest Warrior, Chapter 6: Somali Pirates vs. Jesse James Gang**

_Narrator: _

The Somali Pirates; Africa's deadly new breed of high seas high-jackers who make millions holding merchant ships hostage.

_(We see some Pirates highjacking a ship). _

_Narrator: _

Jesse James, the vicious outlaw whose bloody crime-sprees made him the most famous bank robber in America.

_(We see Jesse's gang robbing a bank). _

**WHO IS DEADLIEST?**

To find out, our world class fighters are testing histories most lethal weapons. Using 21st century science, we'll see what happens when the two warriors go toe to toe. No rules. No safety. No mercy. It's a duel to the death, to decide who is...THE DEADLIEST WARRIOR!

Somali Pirate:

Reign Of Terror: 1992 - Present

Height: 5' 10"

Weight: 145 LBS

Crimes: Vessel Hijacking

Jesse James Gang:

Reign of Terror: 1866 - 1876

Members: 4 - 8

Crimes: Bank Robbery & Murder

_Narrator: _Here in the Fight Club, we take four weapons used by modern day high-jackers, the Somali Pirates:

PKM Machine

Grappling Hook

AK-47

RPG-7

_Narrator: _And see how they do when we pit them against the Confederate Robber Jesse James:

Colt Revolver

Bowie Knife

Winchester Rifle

Pistol Whip

_Narrator: _First, the two teams will test out their long range weaponry: The Somali's PKM Machine and Jesse's Colt Revolver.

Fred checks his revolver as he walks out to the test course: a faux western-style bank with two tellers behind the counter, and two pedestrians. There is also a moving target in the form of a security guard that will role forward after the first shot is fired. This test would not only test how quickly Fred can shoot all the targets, it will also test to see how quickly he can draw his gun.

Fred gets into postion and waits for the signal. When he gets the green light he quickly draws the gun (being clocked at about a quarter of a second) and begins to fire.

His first shot takes out the teller on the right, going right through his head. The next two shots get the security guard, who barely has time to move forward before the bullets hit his chest and throat. Fred then proceeds to "kill" the other dummies, the whole shootout taking less then fifteen seconds.

But while our examiners found the whole thing impressive, the Somali Pirates don't. Bob points out that while the Colt can be drawn quickly, they were limited to only six bullets apiece. The PKM, he says could fire hundeds of bullets.

So the crew sets up a new course, two stationary targets, four moving targets. The targets were setup with special bags designed to send up colored smoke if the Somali team got an instant kill. And like Fred, Bob would be measured on how quickly he could raise and fire the PKM Machine Gun.

Bob got into a shooting stance, waiting for the signal. When it came he raised the gun as quickly as he could. That took about half a second, twice as long as the Colt. But once he raised the gun he let loose a barrage of bullets. At the three second mark, on of the dummies topples over from the assault. At the seven second mark, however, the gun jammed. Bob was able to fix the gun, but it took time, four seconds, which in a battle field could be disastrous. But after that he seemed to try to make up for lost time, and both the stationary targets let loose clouds of smoke as they were blow apart.

Dr. Dorian: In the end it comes down to me to make the choice. On the one hand, the PKM is a powerful gun. But it jams, and even if it only happened once, it still happened. It also took double the time of the Colt to be raised and fired. On the other hand we have the Colt. The weapon can certainly be used quickly, but it only has six shots, and none of them are the same caliber as the PKM rounds. In the end, I think the fact that they can kill the Somali Pirates before they can even shoot their guns, and not jam when they do it, is what makes me give the edge to the Colt Revolver.

Edge: Jesse James.

_Narrator: _Next, our two teams will test out their mid range weaponry: Jesse James' deadly Winchester Rifle, and the Somali Pirates high powered AK-47.

This time Bob will go first, as he steadies himself on a speed boat. This test was going to be special, as both warriors would have to make their shots while moving at high speeds.

As the boat moved by at high speeds, Bob shot at the 25 yard target, followed by the 50 yard target, then the 75 yard mark, and finally the 100 yard target. When Dr. Dorian and the crew went out to check the targets, they were shocked to see that all of the targets had not only taken what was considered kill shots, but that no matter the range, the location of the shots was consistant.

Dr. Dorian: That's impressive, when you can get your shots in the same area repeatedly, that's the sign of a great marksmen. I'm eager to see how the James Gang retaliates.

Fred would be firing his Winchester Rifle not from a boat, but from a horse. His targets were set at the same distance as those used by the Somali Pirates.

As he road past the 25 yard target, he shot it in the chest, for an instant kill. At the 50 yard mark, the bullet went up slightly, hitting the target in the throat, and while a kill shot, it was clearly getting harder for Fred to aim properly. At the 75 yard mark, Fred hit the shoulder, which was not a kill shot. And at the 100 yards, Fed shot his last bullet, it just barely grazed the side of the target.

Dr. Dorian: Now this may be more about the man using the gun then the actual gun itself, but only these first two shots are kills. The third is debilitating, and the man no can't use his arm, but he's not dead. And this last guy here, I don't think he's even that injured, and he can certainly keep on fighting. Also, the fact is is that the AK-47 has more rounds, and can fire much faster then the single shot action of the Winchester. My Edge goes to the AK-47 assault rifle.

Edge: Somali Pirate.

_Narrator: _Now are two teams will go up close and personal with their deadly close range weaponry: The Somali Pirates' unusual Grappling Hook, and the James Gang's Bowie Knife.

Fred stood before a large hanging slab of beef, the large knife in his hand. The rest of the team had decided to stand back, as one look at the blade had told them all that their would likely be a large amount of blood.

Fred's first stab went low, penetrating up to the hilt. Then he yanked the blade upward, creating a large, deep, gash. A large amount of blood was spilt on the floor, as everyone suspected. Fred finished off his demonstration by doing a downward stab at where one would guess a human neck might be.

Dr. Dorian: Well the results speek for themselves. While it was called an overkill in the James vs. Capone fight, I think this thing does the job exceptionally well.

Next came Bob, eyeing a fresh slab of beef. He gripped the grappling hook by the handle, trying to get the feel of the make-shift weapon. When he was ready he attacked. The serrated blades of the hook cut deeply into the meat, producing a vicious looking wound. But the serration's made it difficult to pull the hook back out again. Bob managed to take a few more swings, before the Doctor called for a stop.

Dr. Dorian: Well, it did better then other improvised weapons I've seen, but it's just not quite as impressive as the Bowie Knife. I agree with Matt when I say that their is a reason people have embraced sword and knife technology. My edge goes to the Bowie Knife.

Edge: Jesse James.

_Narrator: _For our final test, our two teams will test out their special weapons: Jesse James Gang's Pistol Whip, against the Somali Pirates RPG-7. . .

Bob couldn't help but smirk as he aimed his RPG at the faux bank Fred had used earlier to demonstrate his Colt. With a pull of the trigger, the missile went flying toward it's target. The bank exploded in a large cloud of smoke as it was reduced to rubble. Bob turned to Fred, and grinned : "Beat that."

Fred just looked down at his pistol. Scuffling his feet, and scratching his head in embarrassment, he sighed "Pass"

Dr. Dorian: Normally we try to make things as even as possible in terms of weapons. But here I guess we just kinda . . . yeah. Edge goes to (do I really have to say this) the RPG-7. What a shocker.

Edge: Somali Pirate

_Narrator: _With all the testing complete, Max Geiger uploads the data gathered from the tests into the battle simulation, developed by Slitherine Studio, to simulate a battle to the death between these two warriors. To make sure that victory isn't snatched by a single lucky blow, the battle will be simulated 1000 times. Who will win in this battle of thieves? The master marauders of the high seas? Or the quick shooting, gun slingers of the west?

Close Range Edge: James Gang Bowie Knife

Mid Range Edge: Somali Pirate AK-47

Long Range Edge: James Gang Colt Revolver

Special Weapon Edge: Somali Pirate RPG-7

It's time to find out which warrior is truly the deadliest. Max hits the button on the computer, and suddenly the screen goes "Matrix" on us.

This fight takes place in a Civil War Museum. The museum is near the ocean. Inside are Jesse James and his gang, robbing the place. Outside, a group Somali Pirates, have shown up in a motor boat, also seeking to rob the museum of its gold coins. Hearing activity inside the place, the somali pirates, except one gather near the main entrance where they hear the noise. The last pirate readies his RPG-7. Nodding to his comrades, they throw open the doors. Jesse's gang looks up in surprise, not expecting anyone else to be there. The pirate with the RPG-7 takes advantage of their momentary surprise and launches his weapon. Jesse jumps out of the way of the projectile, but the man at the back of the room isn't so lucky. He, along with the display case behind him are vaporized.

**Somali Pirate: 5 Jesse James: 4**

Now knowing they were up against some serious enemies, the James gang returns fire while making their way deeper into the building. One of the cowboys manages to hit one of the pirates in the head with his Colt, dropping the man like a sack of potatoes. The other Somali Pirates chase after the Gang, except for the RPG-7 pirate, who makes his way back outside for a reload.

**Somali Pirate: 4 Jesse James: 4**

As most of the James Gang round a corner in the museum, one stays behind. Seeing a pirate turn round the bend, he shot at him with his Colt. They man is hit in his shoulder, but manages to to aim his AK-47 with enough accuracy to pump several rounds into the cowboys chest. As the dead man slumped to the ground, the pirate made his way forward. As he passed by a seemingly innocent door, it opened to revel another of the James Gang. The man snuck up behind the pirate and stabbed him in the back with his Bowie Knife. After he was sure the pirate was dead, he ran off to rejoin Jesse and the others.

**Somali Pirate: 3 Jesse James: 3**

Jesse and his two remaining men entered what looked like the central office of the museum. Their were plenty of desks and file cabinets to support the idea. As they entered a pirate jumped from the shadows, swinging a Grappling Hook, hitting the cowboy with the Bowie Knife in the back of the neck. One of the hooks cut him deeply and he began to bleed out. Seeing this Jesse whirled around and blasted the pirate in the chest with his Winchester. The pirate fell over dead.

**Somali Pirate: 2 Jesse James: 3**

That was when another Somali Pirate burst in and opened fire with his PKM Machine Gun. Jesse was able to duck behind a desk for cover, but his second in command was riddled with gunfire. The wounded gang member, knowing he was going to die anyway, took his Bowie Knife and threw it at the pirate. The blade hit the pirate in the shoulder, making him drop his weapon. That was when Jesse popped up and shot the pirate dead in the head with his Rifle. The wounded member just nodded his head "Go get'em Jesse" before he past out and died. Jesse just bowed his head for his lost men, then dropped his empty Winchester, and taking out his Colt. He then made to exit the museum.

**Somali Pirate: 1 Jesse James: 1**

The last Somali Pirate waited outside the museum for any sign of activity. Hearing a door slam in around the side of the building he ran to investigate, RPG-7 ready. That was when he saw Jesse James, and Jesse James saw him. Quickly he went to fire his weapon "Bang" . . . He looked at Jesse who had his Colt drawn, then back at himself, where a rosebud of blood is slowly growing on his chest. That was when he fell backward to the ground, his weapon falling with him, useless and unfired.

Jesse just walks over and makes sure he's dead. When he is sure, he removes his hat and screams: "!"

**Somali Pirate: 0 Jesse James: 1**

Winner: Jesse James

Jesse James: 511

Colt Revolver: 240

Winchester Rifle: 200

Bowie Knife: 70

Pistol Whip: 1

Somali Pirate: 489

AK-47: 226

RPG-7: 160

PKM Machine: 100

Grappling Hook: 3

_Narrator: _In a surprising turn around, the Jesse James Gang manages to just snatch victory with 511 kills. This is due mostly to their Colt and Winchester. Though the Somali Pirates almost had them with their AK-47 and RPG-7, it was the surprising speed that allowed for Jesse's victory.

Dr. Dorian: In retrospect, I suppose it's not too surprising. While it may seem that the Somalis are more advanced as far as weapons are concerned, the fact is that the James Gang was able to use their superior speed and marksmanship to kill them before they could use their weapons.

_We see Jesse wave his hat, before running off into the sunset. _

**The End. **

**Next Time On Deadliest Warrior: **

The Noble Samurai takes on the Nefarious Pirate. Can his armor stand against the Pirate's black powder weapons? Will the Pirate's unreliable weapons come back to haunt him? Stay tuned to find out! **  
**


	7. Pirate vs Samurai

_Disclaimer: I don't own Deadliest Warrior; but I wish I did. _

**Deadliest Warrior, Chapter 7: Pirate vs. Samurai**

_Narrator: _

A Pirate, a murderess killer of the high sea.

_(We see some Pirate ship fire cannons at a navy vessel). _

_Narrator: _

The Samurai; Japanese lightning fast dealers of death.

_(We see a Samurai fending off some bandits with his Katana). _

**WHO IS DEADLIEST?**

To find out, our world class fighters are testing histories most lethal weapons. Using 21st century science, we'll see what happens when the two warriors go toe to toe. No rules. No safety. No mercy. It's a duel to the death, to decide who is...THE DEADLIEST WARRIOR!

Pirate

Heigh: 5' 10"

Weigh: 170 LBS

Gear: 20 LBS

Armor: None

Loyalty: Money

Samurai

Height: 5' 3"

Weight: 135 LBS

Gear: 65 LBS

Armor: Steel & Leather

Loyalty: Daimyo

_Narrator: _Here in the Fight Club, we take four weapons used by the nefarious pirates:

Cutlass

Flintlock Pistol

Blunderbuss

Grenado

_Narrator: _and pit them against the tools used by the honorable Samurai:

Katana

Yumi

Naginata

Kanabo

_Narrator: _First our two teams will test out their warriors close range weapons: The Pirate's Cutlass, and the Samurai's Katana.

Fred, who would be representing the Pirate's took his cutlass and walked over to a stack of pig carcasses. On the signal, he cut as deep as he could. The blade made it through one, and then half of the next one before stopping.

Next was Bob, representing the Samurai. He took his katana and stood behind the stack of pigs just like Fred had done. On the testers mark, he swung his blade down into the pigs. The blade made it through two and a half before it came to a stop.

Dr. Dorian: Both of these blades are wickedly sharp. Both can do the job of ending a life. However, it would appear that the blade of the samurai is just a bit sharper.

Edge: Samurai

_Narrator: _Now the teams will test their respective mid range weaponry: The Samurai's Naginata against the Pirate's Blunderbuss.

Bob came toward the dummy with his naginata. He took a stance and then, on the signal, struck. His first strike shaved the top of the skull and brain matter off the dummy. The second strike, aimed for the neck, almost decapitated it.

Dr. Dorian: This cut is very impressive, it has almost a surgical quality to it, that's how clean it is.

Next was Fred, lugging the blunderbuss with him. Once at the firing range, he held it up and took aim. When he got the green light he fired. "Click" "Misfire" he called. He reloaded and got ready to try again. Once again he received his signal, only this time the gun did fire. The gun went off with a thunderous boom, striking the armored target. A second later, blood could be seen coming out from under the armor. The Blunderbuss could pierce the samurai's armor. If it fired.

Dr. Dorian: It worries me that this weapon misfires. At it's intended range, if it misfires, the pirate would almost be in range of the naginata. On the other hand, when it does fire, it easily pierces the armor and does heavy damage. It's close but I have to give the edge to the blunderbuss.

Edge: Pirate

_Narrator: _Next the two teams will test out their long range weaponry: The Samurai's Yumi bow and the Pirate's Flintlock Pistol.

Bob went first this time, experimentally pulling the string on the bow. Once satisfied, he took aim at his target: a gel head topped wit a pirate hat. This target was special in that it had the eyes highlighted. Bob fired his first arrow at over 15 yards, and pierced the dummies left eye. His second shot pierced the other eye.

Dr. Dorian: That shot is scary because, while it is a kill shot, it is not instant, so you'll probably remember the arrow going through your face.

Next came Fred armed with his his pistol. His target: A gel torso protected by replica samurai armor. Since each pistol only had one shot, Fred had been given five pistols. He also was told to shoot as various ranges. On the signal the shots began. The first shot from ten yards, missed entirely. The second shot from eight yards, hit the helmet, but didn't seem to pierce it. At the six yard mark the bullet hit dead center and, while it didn't penetrate, the system indicated a rib might have been broken. At four yards, the gun misfired. The next bullet hit the armor and went through, hitting the dummy's stomach for a kill shot.

Dr. Dorian: These guns are not particularly accurate, and have a tendency to misfire. If that happens in battle, it could be a catastrophe. On the other hand, anything at five yards and under seems to be a hit. But compared to the much greater distance and accuracy provided by the Yumi, the answer is obvious.

Edge: Samurai

_Narrator: _Finally the two teams will test out their warriors special weapons: The Pirate's Grenado, against the Samurai's Kanabo.

Bob went first again, holding the heavy kanabo out in front of him. He raised the club over his head and brought it down on a bull skull. The skull completely disintegrated under the force of the blow, leaving only fragments left.

Dr. Dorian: This weapon is great in that it most certainly is deadly to an unarmored or perhaps even an armored, opponent. The only downside I see to this weapon is that it is very heavy, and is also very slow.

Then, out at the demolition range, Fred was busy hooking up his explosive grenado. The ball was rigged in the center of some pig carcasses, one of which was wearing Samurai armor. Once everyone was at a safe distance, the bomb was detonated. It went off with a bang, and when the dust finally settled, the group went to check on the bodies. The unarmored bodies near the blast had the ribs caved in, an obvious kill. The one farther away was bruised, but unlikely to be dead. Lastly, the armored body was shown to have serious damage to the ribs. A possible kill.

Dr. Dorian: It's hard to tell for the last one. The armor certainly absorbed the brunt of the explosion, but if the bomb had been closer, or the samurai had already been injured? I don't know, maybe it could have been a kill. Regardless, the fact is is that it's easier to use, and the blast makes it harder to avoid. I'm going to give it to the pirates.

Edge: Pirate

_Narrator: _With all the testing complete, Max Geiger uploads the data gathered from the tests into the battle simulation, developed by Slitherine Studio, to simulate a battle to the death between these two warriors. To make sure that victory isn't snatched by a single lucky blow, the battle will be simulated 1000 times. Who will win in this battle of opposites? Honor or Greed? Burning black powder, or cold hard steel?

Close Range Edge: Samurai's Katana

Mid Range Edge: Pirate's Blunderbuss

Long Range Edge: Samurai's Yumi

Special Weapon Edge: Pirate's Grenado

It's time to find out which warrior is truly the deadliest. Max hits the button on the computer, and suddenly the screen goes "Matrix" on us.

The fight opens on clearing in a forest. The forest is at the top of a hill, at the bottom of the hill a beach. A pirate is looking over the treasure in a chest he has just dug up. As he closes the chest, he looks up, hand on his flintlock. A samurai has emerged from the trees, his naginata stuck into the ground, a yumi bow across his chest. Seeing the bow, the pirate reacts, aiming his pistol and firing at the samurai. The bullet is off course however, and strikes the tree next to the samurai. The samurai, yumi bow drawn, fires at the pirate, but the pirate leans out of the way, and the arrow flies past. The pirate returns fire, hitting the samurai in the chest plate. Unfortunately the pirate was so far away, the bullet didn't penetrate. After looking down to make sure he was okay, the samurai unleashes another arrow. The pirate ducks, and the arrow knocked off his hat.

Deciding to flee instead of fight, the pirate grabs his treasure chest and runs. The samurai, unwilling to let the pirate escape, but unwilling to kill a man while his back was turned, fired an arrow at the pirates leg. The arrow flew true, and nailed the pirate in the back of his left thigh. The pirate fell to the ground in pain, but managed to crawl forward to a tree where he'd hidden some spare weapons. He turned to see the samurai charging with his naginata at the ready. The pirate rolled over and stood up, exposing the blunderbuss in his hand. When the samurai was in range the pirate pulled the trigger. "Click". "Bloody Hell" a misfire, the pirate curses his bad luck as he rolls out of the way of the samurai's strike. The blade of the naginata gets buried in a tree, that would have been the pirates neck had he not moved.

Once more on the ground the pirate pulled out another pistol and; not sharing his opponents scruples about killing form behind shot to kill. But through a combination of the poor aiming quality of the pistol, and the samurai's armor, the bullet only hit the man in the side. Painful, but not fatal. The samurai grit his teeth and whirled around, having managed to dislodge his weapon. He was met by the pirate who had draw his cutlass. The pirate stepped in and, with a quick slash, cut the naginata pole in two. He tried to follow up with a slash at the samurai, but the sword bounced off the armor.

The samurai kicked the pirate in the chest, allowing the samurai some distance. The samurai then unsheathed his proud katana. The two traded blows for a while, though it was becoming obvious that in terms of swordplay, the pirate was outmatched. The samurai managed to get inside the pirate's guard and cut his arm deeply. The pirate hissed in pain, and in retaliation, quickly drew a pistol and shot the samurai in the stomach. At such close range, the bullet went through. The samurai doubled over in pain, and the pirate clubbed him on the back of the head with the hilt of his sword. Then he ran, grabbed his treasure and ran down the hill toward his get away boat. The samurai wasn't giving up though. Once he got his bearings he ran over to a tree which he had hidden his kanabo behind. Once he had it he followed the pirate down the hill.

The pirate had just finished loading up his boat when he heard running behind him. He turned and saw the samurai charging with the kanabo. The pirate just rolled his eyes "oh bloody hell, mate" and fired one of his pistols. The bullet hit the samurai in the shoulder, but thanks to his armor, it didn't slow him down. Then the samurai was upon him, swinging his kanabo club downward. The pirate managed to roll out of the way, while the rock that the club hit, cracked. The samurai swung again, and the pirate tried to block with his cutlass. Alas the sword was knocked right out of his hands. The pirate turned to run to the boat, but the samurai swiped his feet out from under him with the long club. The pirate fell, banging his head off the side of his boat.

The pirate stood shakily. Looking in the boat he managed to shake off his possible concussion long enough to grab a blunderbuss from inside the boat. Pointing it at the charging samurai, and praying to avoid another misfire, he pulled the trigger. The blunderbuss fired with a cannon like boom, catching the samurai full in the chest and knocking him backwards to the ground.

And that's when the bomb went off. The blast threw the samurai, his body bouncing off a nearby rock, before falling face down in the sand; the ocean tide coming in to wash over his body. The pirate approached cautiously. Having retrieved his cutlass, he flipped over the samurai's body prepared to stab him just in case. He needn't have bothered, as one look into the glassy eyes of the samurai confirmed his death. Now sure of his victory, the pirate reared back and screamed to the heavens, before making his way back to his boat.

Winner: Pirate

Pirate: 553

Blunderbuss: 326

Grenado: 164

Cutlass: 48

Flintlock Pistol: 15

Samurai: 447

Naginata: 153

Katana: 119

Yumi: 95

Kanabo: 80

_Narrator: _In this battle of opposites it was the pirate who came out on top, with his blunderbuss and grenado both scoring triple digit kills. The samurai didn't fare too poorly either, with his naginata and katana also scoring triple digits.

Dr. Dorian: I think that the pirate's victory is not all that surprising. While at times, his black powder weapons could be unreliable, they were reliable enough to make enough of a difference.

_We see the pirate, rowing back to his ship. His treasure chest is secure, and with it is a newly acquired katana. A sword like that will fetch a pretty penny on the black market. _

**The End. **

**Next Time On Deadliest Warrior: **

It's a case of Cops vs. Spies; as the elite special forces of U.S law enforcement, SWAT; takes on Russia's Secret Police, the KGB. Will the tactical weapons and traps of the KGB be enough to route a squad of determined gun totting SWAT officers? Tune in to find out...


	8. KGB vs SWAT

_Disclaimer: I don't own Deadliest Warrior; but I wish I did. _

**Deadliest Warrior, Chapter 8: KGB vs. SWAT**

_Narrator: _

The KGB; Communist Russia's secret police whose rain of terror left nations marred with blood.

_(We see a couple of KGB agents torturing a suspect). _

_Narrator: _

SWAT, The elite special forces of U.S law enforcement, who take on the country's most dangerous police force missions

_(We see a SWAT sniper taking out a suspect). _

**WHO IS DEADLIEST?**

To find out, our world class fighters are testing histories most lethal weapons. Using 21st century science, we'll see what happens when the two warriors go toe to toe. No rules. No safety. No mercy. It's a duel to the death, to decide who is...THE DEADLIEST WARRIOR!

KGB

Years Active: 1954 - 1991

Height: 5' 10"

Weight: 170 LBS

Missions: Espionage& Sabotage

SWAT

Height - 5' 11

Weight - 190 LBS

Gear - 60 LBS

Armor - Kevlar Vest & Helmet

_Narrator: _Here at the fight club we test out four weapons used by the deadly Kremlin Spies, the KGB:

Shoe Knife

Camera Gun

Skorpion SMG 61

Dead Drop Spike

_Narrator: _And pit them against weapons used by the elite U.S Law Enforcement, SWAT:

Benelli M4

LWRC-PSD

Remington 700

Taser Shockwave

Dr. Dorian: This match is actually very interesting. Usually we try to have a battle of opposites, but this time we've gone really out there. First you have the KGB, truly some of the deadliest spies the world has ever known. However, a lot of their weapons are made for spy on spy combat; which could make things difficult. With the SWAT, while most of their weapons are great for combat, some are ment for subduing. So this will definitely be an interesting fight.

_Narrator: _First the two teams will test out their close range weaponry: The KGB's Shoe Knife, and the SWAT's Benelli.

Fred put on a pair of KGB shoes. With a stomp the blades popped out. Fred then proceded to kick at a side of beef. The blade penetrated deeply, and caused severe bleeding.

But Bob and the SWAT team weren't impressed. Bob loaded his Benelli and took aim at his dummy. He fired two bullets, one in the chest and one in the head. The dummy's brais blew out and decorated the floor.

Dr. Dorian: While in some respects, the shoe knife does have advantages, mostly in a hand to hand situation, it just doesn't compare to the Benelli. It's like the saying goes: "Don't bring a knife to a gun fight." Edge to the Benelli.

Edge: SWAT

_Narrator: _Next the two sides will try to show who has the superior mid-range weaponry: The SWAT LWRC-PSD, or the KGB Camera Gun.

Fred was situated in a crowd of dummies. At the front was a dummy standing at a podium, imitating an official. Fred looked through his Camera gun, trying to get the aiming just right. When he had it he fired. The bullet hit the dummy at the podium right between the eyes for an instant kill.

But Bob and the SWAT team aren't impressed.

Bob handled the LWRC like a pro. His task was to go through a series of simulation hallways and kill the targets, while leaving the hostages alive. He ran through, pumping each target dummy full of lead. Some dummies were practically blown apart by the force of the shots. Soon he'd reached the end.

Dr. Dorian: Now this actually seems somewhat unfair. Both these weapons do what they should rather well, but are ment for totally different situations. The camera gun is great for a secretive kill, but is unsuited to battlefield combat. And while that is what the LWRC excels at, it's not very stealthy. But I guess in the end, I have to give the edge to the LWRC.

Edge: SWAT

_Narrator: _Now the two sides will face off using their long range weaponry: The KGB's Skorpion SMG, and the SWAT's Remington 700.

Bob stepped up to a sniper hut with the Remington. His targets were special moving dummies. He shot at the targets in rapid succession, though it took him a full thirty seconds to line up five kill shots. Some shots he made missed, some hit but were not fatal, and he had to reload every once in a while.

The KGB were not impressed. They pointed out that the weapon was very hit or miss. It could only be used at long range, and if they missed, it would give away their positon. They claimed that their Skorpion was much more versatile.

Fred stood looking at the special moving target dummies. He had chosen to stand only slightly closer to his targets then Bob had from his sniper's nest. The team started the timer and Fred opened fire, hitting the first dummy in the head from the get go. Since the gun was rapid fire weapon, as opposed to the Remington, the job got done faster. The ammo capacity was better too, and soon the job was done, at nineteen seconds.

Dr. Dorian: This one is close, but I think I like the Skorpion better. The KGB team is right that the weapon can be used at different ranges, where the Remington is really only effective at a long range. The Skorpion is also automatic, and has a larger ammo capacity, so they don't need to reload as often. Edge to the Skorpion SMG 61

Edge: KGB

_Narrator: _For the final test, our two teams will test out their special, explosive weapons: The SWAT Team's Taser Shockwave, and the KGB's Dead Drop Spike.

Bob set up the Taser Shockwave, which was placed in front of a bunch of dummies, all wearing standard civilian clothes. This test was to see how many targets could be hit at once. The SWAT had volunteered to taser one of the Deadliest Warrior team as a demonstration, but were quickly declined.

Bob set off the device, and watched as multiple wires burst from their casings, thirteen of the twenty connected with various targets, sparks flickering here and there.

Dr. Dorian: Well, it can certainly hit a lot of people, and from what we've seen in the past involving tasers they're going to bring you down if you're hit. But the problem is that tasers are not that deadly. If you get hit, you'll be incapacitated as long as the cords are in you, but unless you get hit with a lot, and you've got a weak heart, they are not likely to kill you. They mostly just set you up to be killed by something else.

The KGB team was confident this time, they saw how the SWAT team failed to please in the right ways. They said that their weapon was a guaranteed kill, every time. Even though it was technically a trap, it was very effective for the KGB in espionage.

The KGB prepared for their test by placing a tiny explosive in a camera film canister. They then placed the canister in the lap of a dummy, who was situated in a stall. Normally the charge would have been set off when the enemy opened it, but this was just a test. Next the the team ducked for cover, while Fred hit the switch to detonate the charge. The charge went off with a loud boom, sending a large cloud of smoke from the debris into the air. When the smoke had cleared, it was clearly an instant kill. The dummy was in pieces, and the stall destroyed; all by the force of the explosion.

Dr. Dorian: Once again the choice is obvious. While the SWAT's Taser Shockwave may be able to put the enemy down for a while, the KGB's Dead Drop Spike puts them down permanently. Edge goes to the KGB's Dead Drop Spike.

Edge: KGB

_Narrator: _With all the testing complete, Max Geiger uploads the data gathered from the tests into the battle simulation, developed by Slitherine Studio, to simulate a battle to the death between these two warriors. To make sure that victory isn't snatched by a single lucky blow, the battle will be simulated 1000 times. Who will win in this battle of opposites? The KGB who waged a bloody covert war on the United States? Or SWAT, America's Elite Law Enforcers. Communism or Democracy? Espionage or Direct Assault?

Close Range Edge: SWAT Benelli M4

Mid Range Edge: SWAT LWRC-PSD

Long Range Edge: KGB Skorpion SMG 61

Special Weapon Edge: KGB Dead Drop Spike

It's time to find out which warrior is truly the deadliest. Max hits the button on the computer, and suddenly the screen goes "Matrix" on us.

This fight takes place in a run down building, where four KGB agents are discussing their plans. The fifth is outside on lookout. A SWAT van pulls up out of sight, and five men hop out. The leader gives each their orders, and they split up.

One SWAT makes his way up to the meeting room. Hearing voices going on inside, he kicks the door in, Benelli M4 drawn. The KGB look up startled, the group consists of two men, on young, one old; and two women, a blond and a brunette. The young man goes to draw his gun, but the SWAT shoots him in the head. The blond woman, however, is quick on the draw, and shoots him with her Skorpion. Giving some quick orders to her fellow KGB agents, everything of value is taken out of a briefcase and slipped into a film canister. The blond takes off down to different hallways. The old man quickly riggs the briefcase before leaving it on the table. He then turns and him and the brunette take a different hallway.

**KGB: 4 SWAT: 4**

Two SWAT made their way into the room, having heard gunshots being fired. They see their dead comrade, as well as the body of one of the KGB agents. The first makes his way over to the briefcase left on the table. They had been ordered to kill the spies, and bring back anything they found. Nodding to his comrade, the other man turned it toward him and undid the latches on the case.

And was promptly blown off his feet into the wall as the explosive Dead Drop Spike did its job. The other SWAT managed to survive and, shakily made his way out of the room, the smoldering body of his comrade left behind.

**KGB: 4 SWAT: 3**

Outside in an ally a SWAT sat behind a Taser Shockwave. He was hidden in shadows, which allowed him to see one of the exits, but let him stay hidden. The man looked at the next street over, were some man was busy filming the hustle and bustle of the city. The SWAT rolled his eyes "tourists". Suddenly the door he was watching flew open. That was when he flipped the switch. The man in front caught most of them with his chest, but a couple hit the woman too. The SWAT switched off the machine and made his way over to them.

The man across the street turned toward the ally. He knew that was where his comrades were supposed to come out. The leader had radioed him about the intruders and to be on the lookout. Seeing the SWAT drawing his weapons over the fallen KGB agents made the camera man act quickly. Making sure his aim was just right, he fired his Camera Gun at the back of the man's neck. The man fell over like a sack of potatoes. He made his way over to his fellow agents to assist them. The brunette was fine though a little shaken. He checked the old man. Dead. Apparently the shock had been to much for his old heart. The brunette then slipped him the microfilm before they prepared to make their way to their leader.

**KGB: 3 SWAT: 2**

The two KGB hear someone coming down the hall. The man tells the woman to stay back while he engages his Shoe Knife. Rushing around the corner and surprising the SWAT, the KGB agent delivers an upward kick, knocking the SWAT's LWRC-PSD out of his hands. When the SWAT goes to reach for his pistol, the KGB kicks him in his side. Though the kevlar armor protects somewhat, it still hurts. The KGB goes for a second kick, but the SWAT grabs the leg, leaving the KGB awkwardly balanced. The KGB goes to punch the SWAT at the same time the SWAT draws his Benelli M4. The punch just glances off the SWAT's helmet, but the bullet from the Benelli M4 to the KGB's face, was fatal.

**KGB: 2 SWAT: 2**

The SWAT, after checking to make sure his wounds weren't serious, retrieved his LWRC-PSD. He also checked over the downed KGB agent and discovered the capsule containing the microfilm. Recognizing it's importance, he planned to make his way back to the SWAT van.

The female KGB agent paled when she saw the SWAT take the microfilm. She knew she had to get it back. As the SWAT came her way she took out her Skorpion SMG 61. She jumped out and opened fire. One hit him in the shoulder, the other in the leg. One hit him in the chest, but his kevlar vest protected him. He returned fire with his LWRC-PSD, hitting her in the chest, piercing her lung. She went down and he proceeded forward.

As he stepped over her, she tried to lift her Skorpion, but only managed to cough up some blood, then die.

**KGB: 1 SWAT: 2**

As the SWAT made his way out of the building he pasted by some stairs. On those stairs was the KGB leader, who saw him just before he saw her. That split second made all the difference as she managed to shoot him in the neck with her Skorpion. She then ran down and took the microfilm from him, before rushing outside.

**KGB: 1 SWAT: 1**

As the woman quickly ran to her car, she couldn't help but be furious. Months of planning would have to be rescheduled. Oh well, as long as she managed to keep the microfilm safe, everything would be fin - -

At that moment the woman stopped, then collapsed, a trail of blood going down from her forehead. She had never heard the shot that had ended her.

Up on the rooftop, the SWAT commander put down his Remington 700. He had checked the radio frequencies of his men, and knew that they were dead. Still, the mission had been accomplished, so perhaps it had not all been in vain. He stood and sent a silent salute to his fallen men.

**KGB: 0 SWAT: 1**

Winner: SWAT

SWAT: 564

Remington 700: 265

LWRC-PSD: 223

Benelli M4: 75

Taser Shockwave: 1

KGB: 436

Skorpion SMG 61: 358

Dead Drop Spike: 71

Camera Gun: 5

Shoe Knife: 3

_Narrator: _In this battle of opposites, it was the SWAT team that prevailed. This was due greatly thanks to his Remington 700 sniper rifle.

Dr. Dorian: I'm not too surprised. The KGB was ment for stealth, not full on combat, so it's understandable that they lost.

_We see the the SWAT team leader take the microfilm from the dead KGB agent, before going back to the SWAT van to call headquarters. _

**The End. **

**Next Time on Deadliest Warrior: **

The Aztec Jaguar, the hunter from one of Mexico's greatest empires, makes plans to sacrifice his opponent, the Rajput. The Rajput, one of India's greatest warriors, says otherwise. In this fight of the hunter and the hunted, who will emerge victorious? Until Next Time...


	9. Aztec Jaguar vs Rajput

_Disclaimer: I don't own Deadliest Warrior; but I wish I did. _

**Deadliest Warrior, Chapter 9: Aztec Jaguar vs. Rajput**

_Narrator: _

An Aztec Jaguar; swift moving slayer of the ancient Mexican empire.

_(We see the Aztecs preparing a sacrifice to their god)._

_Narrator: _

Rajput Warrior; India's menacing martial arts master, who defeated enemies with a diabolical arsenal designed to kill.

_(We see a Rajput warding off invaders with his aara)._

**WHO IS DEADLIEST?**

To find out, our world class fighters are testing histories most lethal weapons. Using 21st century science, we'll see what happens when the two warriors go toe to toe. No rules. No safety. No mercy. It's a duel to the death, to decide who is...THE DEADLIEST WARRIOR!

Aztec Jaguar

Year: 1500

Height: 5' 6"

Weight: 140 LBS

Armor: Quilted Cotton

Rajput

Year: 900 AD

5' 6"

Weight: 145 LBS

Armor: Leather & Chain Mail

_Narrator: _Here in the Fight Club, we take four weapons used by the deadly Aztec Warrior:

Tecpatl Sacrificial Knife

Maquahuitl

Atlatl & Tlacochtli

Tematlatl

_Narrator: _and see how they compare to the weapons used by the exotic Rajput:

Khanda

Aara

Chakram

Katar

_Narrator: _First, our two fighters will test out their close range weaponry: The Aztec Jaguar's Tecpatl knife, against the Rajput's Khanda sword.

Fred takes a few practice swings with his knife before heading to his target: a dummy lying on its back. When he got the signal he made the initial cut, before ramming his hand in the dummy's chest, then yanking out his heart! A true Aztec style killing.

Next was Bob, taking hold of the Khanda sword. He needed to cut through five targes quickly. On the signal we went to work, hacking-and-slashing his way through the course. Soon he was finished, having caused heavy damage to the carcasses.

Dr. Dorian: Both of these weapons are good at what they are supposed to do. But the Khanda has a longer reach, and a heavier, more powerful blade. That's why I'm giving it to the Khanda.

Edge: Rajput

_Narrator: _Now the two sides will test out their fearsome mid-range weaponry: The Rajput's Aara whip-sword, against the Aztec's mighty Maquahuitl.

Bob goes first this time, whipping the aara around his body in a deadly dance. Then he lashed out at one of the dummies surrounding him. The slash cut the dummies across the face, chest and other area, but never deep enough to kill.

Dr. Dorian: This weapon actually disappoints me. Sure it looks impressive and deadly, but in actuality, it's not.

Next was Fred holding the rather imposing Maquahuitl. He intended to cut through a gel horse head with it. His first swing broke the spine of the dummy, and got almost half way. He then proceeded to cut, or perhaps more accurately saw, his way through the rest of the head.

Dr. Dorian: Now this weapon is powerful. Those obsidian blades are like an ancient chain-saw. It has a great chance of killing a person it hits, whereas the aara has an almost minimal chance of killing. Edge goes to the Maquahuitl.

Edge: Aztec

_Narrator: _Next, our warriors will be testing their respective long range weaponry: The Aztec Atlatl & Tlacochtli and the Rajput Chakram.

Fred was targeting his targets with care, wanting to gain another advantage over team Rajput. The first spear he threw went 200 yards, though when it hit the target, it was somewhat off center. That patten seemed that the closer the targets got, the more accurate, and deeper the the shots got. At 200 yards, it would only pierce an enemy slightly, but at 50 yards, it went all the way through.

The next test though was brought up by Bob and the Rajput team. They wanted to see if the Atlatl & Tlacochtli could penetrate Rajput armor. A dummy was set up at the halfway mark of 100 yards away, and Fred sent a projectile right at it. The throwing spear hit dead center, though it didn't pierce very far.

Dr. The range of this weapon is certainly impressive, though the aiming leaves a bit to be desired. That fact is that the weapon does pierce the armor. And though not an istant kill, this person could bleed out if the wound is left untreated.

Now it was Bob's turn with the Rajput Chakram. He took careful aim, and threw the disk. The disk flew through the air and cut a deep chunk out of a slab of beef. Bob tried to throw the next disk farther, but it turned out it couldn't go half as far as the atlatl could.

The next test was to try and pierce some Aztec armor. Bob lined up the shot, and threw with all his might. The chakram flew, and pierce the armor rather deeply. Enough that it was probably fatal.

Dr. Dorian: This one is rather difficult, as both weapons can pierce the others armor. On the one hand, the chakram is more likely to be lethal, but doesn't have very good range, which is important in a fight. On the other hand, the atlatl has great range, and moderate accuracy, but isn't necessarily going to be as fatal. It's a tough call, but in the end, I think I'll give it to the atlatl.

Edge: Aztec

_Narrator: _Finally our two competitors will be testing out their warriors special weapons: The Rajput Katar, and the Aztec Tematlatl.

Bob stood before a slab of beef holding a pair Katars. He punched forward with a vicious right jab, and his fist went right through the beef, going through like a hot knife through butter. The next slice pierced the beef tore a hole wide enough to see through to the other side. Bob then popped out the side blade, and with a single slice, cut the beef right through, where it fell to the floor.

Dr. Dorian: That was a very impressive weapon, it could probably kill in a single punch if the target didn't have armor. But since the Aztec does have a type of armor, let's test it out . . .

Bob was now standing before a dummy wearing an Aztec Cotton armor breastplate. Bob took a calming breath, then punched the dummy with all his might. The armor was no help at all as the blade easily passed through the dummies chest, the back of the blade coming out the back.

But the Aztec team is unimpressed. They claim that the Katar requires that the Rajput get close to them, which they say the Aztec Jaguar would never allow, and they claim that with the Tematlatl, it won't.

Fred placed the stone in the sling, before giving it a few experimental swings. Once he was sure of himself, he swung the stone faster and faster, before he launched the stone at a skull. The stone struck dead center of the skull, causing deep cracks, and a large indentation.

Dr. Dorian: Well, when ever you see something like that, it usually means that there is going to be some internal bleeding, and that the target will soon die. This is a kill.

But, like the Aztec's, the Rajput's also wore armor, as well as a helmet, though the Rajput helmet was made of metal. So they slipped a Rajput helmet over a skull, and had Fred try again. Fred's aim was no less accurate the second time around, as the stone still hit dead center of the Rajput helmet's faceplate. The team removed the slightly dented helmet and allowed the doctor to examine it.

Dr. Dorian: Well, that would certainly hurt, I'll give you that. He might have a slight concussion, though not too serious. It also has a distinct lack of fractures. I would have to say that this is not a kill shot. It may break a bone, or at least fracture one, but it doesn't seem very lethal. And when compared to the Katar, it's no comparison at all. I give the edge to the Katar.

Edge: Rajput.

_Narrator: _With all the testing complete, Max Geiger uploads the data gathered from the tests into the battle simulation, developed by Slitherine Studio, to simulate a battle to the death between these two warriors. To make sure that victory isn't snatched by a single lucky blow, the battle will be simulated 1000 times. Who will win in this battle of opposites? The Rajput who fight for his land and people? Or the Aztec Jaguar, who fights for his God? Steel or Obsidian? Crafty design, or Lethal power?

Close Range Edge: Rajput's Khanda

Mid Range Edge: Aztec's Maquahuitl

Long Range Edge: Aztec's Atlatl & Tlacochtli

Special Weapon Edge: Rajput's Katar

It's time to find out which warrior is truly the deadliest. Max hits the button on the computer, and suddenly the screen goes "Matrix" on us.

This battle takes place in a forested area. In the forest was a large ravine with two rock fixtures on each side (the battlefield of the Aztec Zande fight, with a forest next to it). An Aztec stood on one of the fixtures, when he saw a Rajput emerge from the woods to stand atop the opposite fixture. The two warriors stare each other down. Then the Rajput rears back his head and screams out a battle-cry. The Aztec response was to ready his Atlatl & Tlacochtli. The first javelin like projectile was easily avoided by the Rajput, who simply leaned to the right. The next one however, was cut in mid-air by the Rajput's Khanda. The Rajput glared at the Aztec, but knew his Chakram wouldn't reach this far. So he made his way down the outcropping toward the Aztec's location. The Aztec strapped his Maquahuitl to his back before also making his way down the rock fixture.

When he got to the bottom, he saw the Rajput running at him, so he took out his Tematlatl. The first stone he threw was deflected off the Rajput's shield. Just before he could throw a second stone, the Rajput threw his Chakram and severed the rope holding the stone, thereby destroying the weapon. The Aztec spared a look at his weapon before making a mad dash to the woods, but not before another Chakram nicked his shoulder. The Rajput decided to save his last Chakram for later, then followed the Aztec into the woods.

As the Rajput walked through the woods, he was unable to find the Aztec, though he was sure he had come this way. That was when the Aztec jumped from the tree down to land on top of the Rajput, stabbing him in the shoulder with his Tecpatl knife. The Rajput grunted in pain as he dropped his shield. He reared back and managed to elbow the Aztec in the side, with his other hand he drew his Aara.

He then proceeded to do an impressive display with his Aara, causing the Aztec to back up. That was when the Rajput lashed out, catching the Aztec across the chest, leaving a painful, though non-lethal wound. The next one wrapped around the Aztec's foot and caused him to fall to the ground. The Rajput drew a Katar with his unarmed hand and went for the killing blow. Only for the Aztec to expertly deflect with his Tecpatl, and then lean forward to stab the forearm holding the Aara.

The Rajput let go of the weapon as he rapidly backpedaled, clutching his wounded arm. That was when the Rajput unsheathed his Khanda. His first swing was meant to take the Aztec's head off, but the Aztec ducked under the swing, and stabbed the Rajput in the leg with his Sacrificial Knife. The Aztec jumped backwards, but the Rajput managed to leave a second wound on his chest as the native danced out of range of his sword. Knowing the knife wouldn't do much against the sword the Aztec then threw his Tecpatl before running behind a tree to grab his Maquahuitl.

When the Rajput saw the Aztec's sword he was not intimidated, until the Aztec swung with enough force to knock the sword from his hands. That was when the Rajput pulled out a second Katar.

The Aztec swung his Maquahuitl again, but the Rajput opened the prongs on his Katar and caught the blade; then used the other Katar to slash at the Aztec's arm, leaving a bloody scratch from his wrist to his elbow.

The Aztec tried a horizontal swing next, and the Rajput tried to stop the blade with his Katar. But the Aztec's blade smashed the wooden support on the blade, destroying the weapon. The Rajput managed to catch the next swing, only for the Aztec to kick the Rajput in the stomach; which made him double over in pain.

The next swing caught the Rajput in the side of the head, with the flat, unsharpened side of the Maquahuitl. The blow laid the Rajput out flat, almost knocking him out. The blow also caused him to lose his grip on the Katar, making it fall to the ground, away from its' master.

The Rajput looked up, dazed, fighting off a state of unconsciousness. He saw the Aztec looming over him with his Maquahuitl posed to end the fight there. That was when the Rajput remembered; his Chakram! He quickly yanked it from his waist and threw it, just as the Aztec got ready to bury his blade in the Rajput. The blade flew through the air...

All was silent, and both warriors were still. Then slowly, ever so slowly, the Aztec's head rolled from his body as it slumped to the ground, lifeless. The Rajput stood, and looked at his fallen foe. Then he reared back his head and screamed in victory!

Winner: Rajput

Rajput: 583

Khanda: 312

Katar: 226

Chakram: 45

Aara: 0

Aztec Jaguar: 417

Maquahuitl: 310

Atlatl & Tlacochtli: 78

Tecpatl Sacrificial Knife: 25

Tematlatl: 4

_Narrator: _In this brutal battle, it was the Rajput that rose to victory; with both his Khanda and Katar scoring in the triple digits.

Dr. Dorian: Well, I suppose it makes sense, the Rajput had the steel weapons, and chain-mail armor, no matter how little, those things helped a lot. Not that the Aztecs are unskilled, but there cotton armor just didn't or couldn't stand against what the Rajput brought to the table.

_We see the Rajput gathering his tools from around the battlefield, as well as the fallen Aztec's Maquahuitl. The weapon intrigued him, and it wasn't like his opponent would need it any more. _

**The End. **

**Next Time on Deadliest Warrior: **

It's a mismatch made in warrior hell as the highly trained Spetsnaz must turn all there skill to taking down the vicious Mafia. But the Mafia don't plan to go down without a fight, and if they have their way, they'll blast the Spetsnaz straight to the morgue. Who will Win? Until Next Time...**  
**


	10. Mafia vs Spetsnaz

_Disclaimer: I don't own Deadliest Warrior; but I wish I did. _

**Deadliest Warrior, Chapter 10: Mafia vs. Spetsnaz**

_Narrator: _

The Mafia; deadly enforcers on the mean streets of New York.

_(We see some mafia thugs shaking down a man on the street)._

_Narrator: _

Spetsnaz; top secret commandos, the spearhead of the Russian army.

_(We see some spetsnaz commandos searching a nearby building). _

**WHO IS DEADLIEST?**

To find out, our world class fighters are testing histories most lethal weapons. Using 21st century science, we'll see what happens when the two warriors go toe to toe. No rules. No safety. No mercy. It's a duel to the death, to decide who is...THE DEADLIEST WARRIOR!

Mafia:

Height: 5' 10"

Weigh: 170 LBS

Armor: None

Gear: 10 LBS

Spetsnaz:

Height: 5' 11"

Weight: 175 LBS

Force Size: 15,000

Gear: 27 LBS

_Narrator: _Here in the Fight Club, we take six weapons used by the masters of urban crime, the mafia:

Sawed-off Shotgun

Baseball Bat

Tommy Gun

Stiletto Knife

Pineapple Grenade

Molotov Cocktail

_Narrator: _And pit them against the weapons used by the highly trained Spetsnaz:

Makarov Pistol

Ballistic Knife

Saiga Shotgun

AK74 Carbine

Dragunov Rifle

RGD-5 Grenade

_Narrator: _First the two teams will test out their warriors mid-range firearms: The Mafia's Sawed-off Shotgun, and the Spetsnaz Makarov Pistol.

Bob loaded the shotgun inside the Fight Club firing range. Taking quick aim, he fire. The bullets tore a hole in the dummies torso, and flew out the back.

Next it was Fred's turn, and after loading his pistol, fired several shots at the dummy. One in the head, two in the chest, and three in the stomach.

Dr. Dorian: When you look at it, both weapons can kill with extreme efficiency. But with the higher caliber weapons, like the shotgun, any hit is more likely to be a kill shot then if one is hit by a small caliber weapon.

Edge: Mafia.

_Narrator: _Next they'll test out their short range weapons: The Spetsnaz Ballistic Knife, and the Mafia's Baseball Bat.

Fred aimed his knife, and after getting the signal, hit the button that caused the knife blade to shot out through several suspended balls.

Dr. Dorian: This is impressive because it's a weapon, yeah. But it's also a projectile that you don't expect to be a projectile.

Next Bob walked up to some suspended beef, twirling his baseball bat. Taking a stance, he swung for the fences. The swing broke the spine, and the swings that followed broke the ribs as well as causing internal bleeding.

Dr. Dorian: While the ballistic knife was certainly impressive, there's something to be said about the classics. Yes the knife can shoot, but if it misses, they've disarmed themselves. And as a basic knife, the bat has longer reach, and can potentially cause more damage.

Edge: Mafia

_Narrator: _Now the two teams will test out their long range weaponry: The Mafia's Pineapple Grenade, and the Spetsnaz Dragunov Rifle.

Bob walked out toward his target. In the middle of a demolition site they had built a fake room with several dummies inside. Bob pulled the pin on the grenade and tossed it through the window of the building, then ran away. The grenade went off, knocking over some of the walls. Dr. Dorian came and examined the bodies. Some had been killed by the explosion, while some by the shockwave, while others (while injured) were left alive.

Dr. Dorian: This is a powerful weapon that can do a lot of damage. However, the fact that they have to get close enough to throw it, as well as the fact that it might cause collateral damage, makes it a double edged sword.

Next was Fred's turn. He sat on a hill looking down at several moving mannequin targets through the scope of his dragunov sniper rifle. Then the testers started the clock. Taking quick aim, he fired his first shot, and nailed the mafia mannequin in the head. He proceeded onward in this fashion for 45 seconds. After that it was confirmed that all of the mannequins had been "killed".

Dr. Dorian: This weapon is a better example of what defines a long range weapon, it provides distance, and a way to target so there is no collateral damage.

Edge: Spetsnaz

_Narrator: _Now the testers will look at something that can't be measured by a computer alone. Each warrior brings in an "X" factor that separates him from his opponent, and makes him unique. For the Spetsnaz, it is there incredible efficiency, and training. To demonstrate this, the Spetsnaz team will show the way they handle a weapon like: The AK74 Carbine.

Fred looked at the course: five targets, strategically arranged. On the signal he quickly lets out two controlled burst form the gun. Rolling to the right for a better position, released another burst at the target in the window. Standing up and facing to his left gave him the perfect angle to hit the last target. Upon examination the targets were all found to have been killed, and in record time.

Dr. Dorian: It's not often to see such brutal efficiency, or such skillful displays. The training alone to be able to pull this off makes them a definite contender.

_Narrator: _Next the Mafia will test out their "X" factor. That being there unbelievable cruelty in asserting their control over their territory. And no more cruel weapon need be found then: The Mafia's Stiletto Knife.

Bob faced his dummy, knife in hand. With a flick the retractable blade popped out, ready for action. He stepped up to the dummy and gutted it with the blade. But he wasn't finished just yet. He slit the dummies throat, then reached in grabbed the tongue and pulled out the cut; a Sicilian necktie.

Dr. Dorian: While this is definitely a lethal weapon, with frightening potential, it really can't compare to the AK74 Carbine. It's like they say: "Don't bring a knife to a gun fight".

Edge: Spetsnaz

_Narrator: _Now the two teams will compare two more mid to long range firearms from their two teams: The Spetsnaz Saiga Shotgun, and the Mafia's Tommy Gun.

Bob took the fully loaded Tommy Gun and looked out over the course. On receiving the signal he let out a spray of bullets that soon had destroyed the course. The time was just about twenty seconds.

Next was Fred with his Saiga shotgun. He also destroyed the course with his bullets. His time however was twenty-five seconds.

Dr. Dorian: Both these weapons, to me, seem equal. They're both automatic, they both get the job done, but to me it looks like the mafia got it done just a bit faster.

Edge: Mafia.

_Narrator: _For our final test, our two teams will test out their most explosive weapons: The Mafia's Molotov Cocktail, and the Spetsnaz RGD-5 Grenade.

Fred took his grenade to the specified area pulled the pin and threw it in the seal room. The thing went off with a bang, shrapnel flying and hitting several dummies.

Dr. Dorian: This is powerful, and the shrapnel only makes it worse. If the explosion doesn't get you, the debris might. You'd have to really lucky to survive if one of those goes off near you.

Bob was next, facing a car with two fake dummies. He held the molotov bottle in his hands gingerly. He lit the end of it and tossed it through the front window. At first nothing happened, then fire suddenly started to blossom in the middle of the car. A few seconds later the whole car was in flames. The temperatures raising higher and higher, roasting the two dummies.

Dr. Dorian: Burns are always a nightmare to heal because, even if they get out of the fire, that heat is still cooking them. The only problem I see with this weapon is that it takes a few seconds for the fire to spread. In that much time the other guys can get out of the way and shoot you. It just isn't the same thing as the grenade.

Edge: Spetsnaz

_Narrator: _With all the testing complete, Max Geiger uploads the data gathered from the tests into the battle simulation, developed by Slitherine Studio, to simulate a battle to the death between these two warriors. To make sure that victory isn't snatched by a single lucky blow, the battle will be simulated 1000 times. Who will win in this squad on squad battle of opposites? The untrained but brutal Mafia? Or the cold hard spear of the Russian Army? It's time to find out which team is deadliest!

Close Range Edge: Mafia's Baseball Bat

Primary Firearm Edge: Mafia's Sawed Off Shotgun

Long Range Weapon Edge: Spetsnaz Dragunov Rifle

"X" Factor Weapon Edge: Spetsnaz AK74 Carbine

Secondary Firearm Edge: Mafia's Tommy Gun

Explosive Weapon Edge: Spetsnaz RGD-5 Grenade

It's time to find out which warrior is truly the deadliest. Max hits the button on the computer, and suddenly the screen goes "Matrix" on us.

This fight takes place outside a warehouse, with a mafia hit-man guarding the door. Outside several Spetsnaz move into position. One is on a hillside looking at the mafia guard through the scope of his Dragunov. Two more are circling the building to find other entrances. The last two are prepared to take the main entrance on the leader's signal. Said leader gives the signal to the man on the hill, who, in turn shoots the guard in the head. With him down the two Spetsnaz make for the now unguarded door.

**Mafia: I I I I Spetsnaz: I I I I I**

Inside the warehouse, the remaining mafia hear the gunshot sound. Two of them flee out the back. The other two head to the main entrance as it is busted in by two Spetsnaz. They flip over a table and begin to trade gunfire. One of the mafia men is shot by a bullet from the leader's carbine. He is hit in the chest and topples over. The mafia leader meanwhile is able to hit the second Spetsnaz in the head with a burst from his Tommy Gun.

**Mafia: I I I Spetsnaz: I I I I **

The sniper Spetsnaz makes his way down the hill toward the entrance. Hearing gunfire, he decides to sneak in through a side door. As he makes his way in, a mafia hit man steps from the shadows and shoots him in the back. He then heads outside to patrol for any more intruders.

**Mafia: I I I Spetsnaz: I I I **

A mafia sees a Spetsnaz coming down the hall and waits behind a doorway with a baseball bat. When the spetsnaz comes through he swings at his head. But the Spetsnaz ducks, and elbows the mafia in the stomach. He then turns and kicks the mafia in the chest, causing him to fall to the floor. The Spetsnaz raises his Saiga and fires a couple of rounds into the man's chest to put him down. He then takes one of the side exits and heads back outside.

**Mafia: I I Spetsnaz: I I I **

Hearing gunfire within, the mafia with the shotgun waits behind one of the cars parked outside the warehouse. He sees a Spetsnaz come out of it and gets an idea. He opens the cars back seat quietly and extracts a molotov cocktail. He lights it with a cigarette lighter, and tosses it at the Spetsnaz's back. The bottle hits him and bursts into flame. The man screams, but doesn't die right away. He turns and makes as if to fire with his saiga. Quickly the mafia raises his own gun and fires first. The Spetsnaz dies, but the mafia had just used his second shell, and had to go back inside to try to find some more ammo.

**Mafia: I I Spetsnaz: I I **

Inside the main entrance the two leaders had just used up the last of their ammo. The mafia boss turns and runs out one of the side doors, grabbing a shotgun as he flees. The Spetsnaz boss runs in hot pursuit, pulling out his Makarov Pistol as he does.

Elsewhere, the only other mafia is desperate for some ammo. Hearing footsteps approach, he hides behind a crate. He sees another Spetsnaz. With no ammo, he reaches into his pocket. He pulls out his stiletto knife, and popped out the blade. Sneaking up behind the Spetsnaz he tried to stab him in the back. But the Spetsnaz heard him coming and turned around to fire at the mafia man. The mafia guy ducked under the barrel of the carbine, the reached up and stabbed the Spetsnaz in the hand, making him drop his gun. The Spetsnaz pulls out his own knife, and the two circle each other wearily. The mafia lunged forward, but the Spetsnaz superior training allowed him to grab the oncoming mafia and flip him over his shoulder. He then turned and stabbed down. The mafia grabbed his arm to try to stop it, but was still slowly coming. The mafia tried to distract the Spetsnaz by stabbing him the knee. The Spetsnaz jerked in pain, accidently pulling the trigger on the Ballistic knife in his hand. The blade shot down, and hit the mafia man in his heart. The Spetsnaz stood up and removed the stiletto from his leg, retrieved his gun and went to find his commander.

**Mafia: I Spetsnaz: I I **

The mafia was still running from the leader of the Spetsnaz, who was behind him, occasionally turning to fire a shot from his shotgun. The Spetsnaz, would in turn avoid being shot and fire a few rounds from his pistol. Unfortunately both had a hard time shooting while running. Then the mafia leader saw his exit. At the same time from down the hall the second Spetsnaz saw him and began running (from the mafia bosses left) at him and firing at him as well. One of the bullets nicked the mafia in the thigh, which slowed him slightly. The mafia manage to make through the door to the outside. Reaching into his pocket he pulled out his pineapple grenade. Pulling the pin he tossed it where it landed just inside the door.

The Spetsnaz leader saw the motion and knew what was coming, and shouted a warning to his subordinate. But his comrade had not seen and when he heard the warning he was too close. He tried to turn and run, but it wasn't enough. The grenade went off, and the blast sent him flying where he landed on a table, breaking it.

**Mafia: I Spetsnaz: I**

Now angry over the loss of his men, the leader ran faster. When he got outside he saw the lead mobster running toward his car. But the Spetsnaz would not have it. He took out his own grenade and, tossing overhand, put it through the front windshield. The mafia saw this, and altered his course away form the car. The explosion still knocked him off his feet though when the car exploded.

The head mafia got up slowly, the shotgun loose in his hands. He looked up to see the Spetsnaz leader, his face set in stone, point the Makarov pistol at him. "Click". The commander looked down, he was out of ammo. The mafia boss sneered. Really, forgetting to reload your weapon was just stupid. He raised his shotgun and fired. "Click". He blinked, apparently he was out of ammo too. The two leaders looked at each other, then began to rapidly reload their weapons. Each knowing that who ever reloaded first would be the victor.

The mafia boss's hands shook as he desperately tried to load a cartridge into the barrel. He looked up and saw the Spetsnaz doing the same, but to him, just a bit quicker. Panicking he rushed the Spetsnaz swinging the gun like a bat. The Spetsnaz looked up, and ducked under the swing. He punched the mafia man in the gut, and he stumbled back, only to swing the gun again. The commander leaned back to avoid it, but the swing knocked his gun form his hand.

The next time the mafia swung, he was ready, ducking the swing and getting inside the mobster's guard. He gave his enemy a jab to the stomach, then one to the face. The mobster responded by tackling the spetsnaz to the ground. The Spetsnaz just rolled him over and punched him in the face, breaking his nose. He reached out to break the criminal's neck, when he felt a sudden pain in his chest. He looked down, and saw a stiletto knife in the mobsters hands. Luckily the armor had thrown off the aim, but the cut was still very deep.

When the Spetsnaz looked down to see what had hurt him, the mafia hit man used the last of his strength to roll him off, and tried to crawl back to where he saw his gun. But the Spetsnaz grabbed his ankle, and tried to pull him back. Frightened the hit man kicked with his other leg, and hit the commander in the face, breaking his nose and chipping a tooth; but also allowing him to crawl away.

The Spetsnaz blinked the pain away, and spotted his own pistol nearby. Scrambling toward it, he checked to make sure it was ready to fire. It was, but as he went to pick it up, the mafia boss stepped on his hand. The Spetsnaz leader looked up to see a double barrel shotgun. The mafia boss said "La vedrò nell'inferno, il compagno (I'll see you in hell, comrade), and blew the Spetsnaz leader's head off.

**Mafia: I Spetsnaz: 0**

Winner: Mafia

Mafia: 533

Tommy Gun: 426

Pineapple Grenade: 70

Baseball Bat: 19

Sawed-off Shotgun: 15

Molotov Cocktail: 2

Stiletto Knife: 1

Spetsnaz: 467

AK74 Carbine: 270

Saiga Shotgun: 95

Dragunov Rifle: 76

RGD-5 Grenade: 15

Ballistic Knife: 7

Makarov Pistol: 4

_Narrator: _In this battle of opposites, it was the cruel mafia that came out on top. His victory was greatly because his Tommy Gun dominated the competition with an impressive 426.

Dr. Dorian: I'll admit, I am surprised that the Spetsnaz lost this time around. I thought that with their training, they would be able to over come the mafia. I think the mafia won because despite them having rather simple weapons, they are devastatingly effective.

_We see the Mob boss heading toward the van the spetsnaz arrived in, having taken the keys from the dead leader's pocket. Getting in, he lights up a cigar, starts the van, and drives off. _

**The End. **

**Next Time On Deadliest Warrior: **

Empires collide, as the Roman Centurions take on the Ming Warriors. Swords will clash and arrows will fly! Chain-mail against Leather Lamellar! All in the next chapter! **  
**


	11. Roman Centurion vs Ming Warrior

_Disclaimer: I don't own Deadliest Warrior; but I wish I did. _

**Deadliest Warrior, Chapter ?: Roman Centurion vs. **

** Ming Warrior**

_Narrator: _

A Roman Centurion; killer commander whose brutal assaults lead rome to conquer the world

_(We see a group of Centurions raiding a village). _

_Narrator: _

Ming Warrior; the merciless 14th century weapons innovators, who launched China's greatest dynasty.

_(We see a group of Ming Warriors firing a Bees Nest down from the Great Wall). _

**WHO IS DEADLIEST?**

To find out, our world class fighters are testing histories most lethal weapons. Using 21st century science, we'll see what happens when the two warriors go toe to toe. No rules. No safety. No mercy. It's a duel to the death, to decide who is...THE DEADLIEST WARRIOR!

Roman Centurion

Year: 120 AD

Height: 5' 8"

Weight: 170 LBS

Armor: Chain Mail

Ming Warrior

1368 - 1644

Height: 5' 7"

Weight: 150 LBS

Armor: Leather Lamellar

_Narrator: _Here at the fight club, we pit four weapons used by the conquerers of the ancient world, the Roman Centurions:

Scorpion

Pilum

Gladius

Dolabra

_Narrator: _And pit them against the weapons used by the warriors of the most powerful Chinese Dynasty, the Ming Warriors:

Nest of Bees

3-Barrel Pole Cannon

Dao

Mechanical Land Mine

_Narrator: _To start off this contest, the two teams will start by testing out their sides long range weapons: The Roman Centurions' Scorpion, against the Ming Warriors Nest of Bees.

Fred manned the Scorpion crossbow, turning the wheel as quickly as he could. It took a while, but soon he was ready to start his test. When he fired the crossbow, the bolt flew with enough power to punch a large hole through the target. Unfortunately it took Fred twenty seconds to prepare the next shot. And while his next few shots were just as impressive, it kept coming back that it took a very long time to reload. To the judges, that was cause for concern. It was also why Bob and the Ming Team felt they would win the long range category.

Bob: I'm certain that this was an impressive weapon to be used against large armies, but against a small squad? It's suicide on wheels. But our weapon: the Nest of Bees, will fire faster, and hit more then one target.

Bob's was to hit as many dummies as he could with his Nest Of Bees, trying to kill as many as possible. The dummies were dressed in Centurion armo and shields, standing in standard Roman formation. Bob lit the fuse and watched the arrows take off. Like a deadly rain, the arrows pounded down on the dummies. But the arrows that struck the shields or armor bounced off. A couple of the dummies were struck in the arms, which could be painful. While the head dummy and the one next to him had a couple sticking out of their faces.

Dr. Dorian: Well these two weapons are very different. The Skorpion is a definite kill weapon, but it's just so slow. The Nest is not a guaranteed kill, but it has more then one shot, and moves much quicker. In the end, I think I'll go with the Nest Of Bees.

Edge: Ming Warrior

_Narrator: _Next our two warriors will face off using their deadly mid range weapons: The Ming Warrior's 3-Barrel Pole Cannon, and the Roman Centurion's Pilum.

Bob stood before a dummy dressed in Centurion armor. He was going to empty all the ammo in his Cannon on the armor, to see if it could pierce the hard chain mail armor. The first shot went off target, hitting the helmet and leaving a large dent, put no penetration. The second shot hit the lower part of the chain mail armor, and actually managed to penetrate. The last hit the exact center of the chest but, surprisingly, did not penetrate.

Fred was next, facing a dummy in Ming armor. He hefted a Pilum javelin, and threw it with all his might. The first two hit the chest area, the first piercing lethally deep, the second less so. the last hit the stomach, but was not fatal.

Dr. Dorian: I'm surprised the Cannon didn't do better. I suppose that the power might increase with range, but at that point, they'd be in range of the Pilum. The Pilum surprised me with how deadly it actually is. Seeing that, I'm giving the mid range advantage to the Pilum.

Edge: Roman Centurion

_Narrator: _Now to get up close and personal with our warriors short range weapons: The Roman Gladius and the Ming Dao.

Fred took his Gladius and charged his dummy (which was wearing Ming armor). The first swing took off the dummy's left arm. The next one took the right. The third swing decapitated him, and the last was a stab that pierced the heart.

Next was Bob twirling his Dao as he stood in front of a dummy with a Centurion breastplate. While his first swing decapitated the dummy, when he struck the armor, the sword bounced off with a resounding clang.

Dr. Dorian: Well that was surprising. Despite the impressive display of swordsmanship, if the Dao can't pierce the armor, it's effectiveness has significantly lowered. My Edge goes once again to the Roman Centurion and the Gladius.

Edge: Roman Centurion

_Narrator: _For our final test, our two warriors will test out their special weapons: The Ming's Mechanical Land Mine, and the Centurion Dolabra.

Bob finished setting up the dummies around the explosive mines. The four dummies were set in a circle, the bomb in the center with a fifth dummy next to it. When the crew was safe, he detonated the mine. The explosion tore the nearest two dummies apart. The one standing on top of it shattered into numerous body parts. The last two dummies, though unharmed by explosion itself, were confirmed to be killed by the shockwave.

Next was Fred in a circle of dummies. Fred took his Dolabra and spun around smashing one of the dummies in the head. The next few seconds were just Fred pulverizing dummies. When he finished, he looked up at the Doctor for judgment.

Dr. Dorian: While I'm sure the Dolabra is useful in battle, the Land Mine managed to take out four guys at once. The Dolabra can't do that. My edge goes to the Land Mine.

Edge: Ming Warriors

_Narrator: _With all the testing complete, Max Geiger uploads the data gathered from the tests into the battle simulation, developed by Slitherine Studio, to simulate a battle to the death between these two warriors. To make sure that victory isn't snatched by a single lucky blow, the battle will be simulated 1000 times. Who will win in this battle of empire elites? The Roman Centurions, or the Ming Warrior?

Close Range Edge: Centurion Gladius

Mid Range Edge: Centurion Pilum

Long Range Edge: Ming's Nest Of Bees

Special Weapon Edge: Ming's Land Mine

It's time to find out which warrior is truly the deadliest. Max hits the button on the computer, and suddenly the screen goes "Matrix" on us.

This fight takes place in same spot of as the Ming Warrior vs. Musketeer fight, with several Roman Centurions emerging from the forest, three in front, two in back pushing a large Scorpion crossbow. When on top of a rocky formation, a group of Ming Warriors appeared. They looked down on the Centurions, before the leader made a signal to one of his men. The man picked up one of their two Bees Nests and prepared to fire. The head Centurion looked up and saw the Ming just as they fired. He shouted a warning to his men, who raised their shields. The Skorpion operator had no shield, so he ducked behind on of the others. When the sound of arrows pining off their shields had ended, they all stood back up unharmed.

The man who had fired the Nest Of Bees dropped the empty canister, raised his sword and screamed a challenge. The Centurion Leader responded by nodding to the Skorpion operator, who fired a bolt into the screaming Ming's stomach. The man grunted and doubled over, before falling off the rocky structure. On seeing his man die, the Ming Commander ordered his men deeper into the mountain pass. Three followed him, while the fourth grabbed the second Nest of Bees battery and crouched down in the rocks. Seeing the Ming retreat into the mountain, the Centurion led two of his men with him to follow the enemy. The last two were the Skorpion operator and a man to guard him, as well as help move the bulky machine.

**Centurion: 5 Ming: 4**

As the Ming ran deeper into the mountain, the one stopped to make sure that a sword being used as the focal point of a little surprise was standing properly. Hearing the Centurions coming, he took his Pole Cannon and ducked into an a crevice.

As the Centurions ran by, one stopped to admire the sword. He reached to pull it from the earth . . . when his comrade stopped him. The second Centurion cursed the first for his foolishness, and to keep moving. Just as they were about to start their hunt again, the hidden Ming jumped out and shot the second Centurion in the chest with his Cannon. Though the bullet did not penetrate his armor, it did knock him back. Right on to the sword, dislodging it from the ground. Seeing a string tied to the sword leading back into the ground, the two Centurion's commander yelled that it was a trap, and to take cover. He and the first Centurion did just that, as did the Ming warrior, who had ducked back into his hole. But the other Centurion had barely made it back to his feet when . . . BOOM! He was launched sky high, landing on his head with a sickening crunch. Smirking at his enemies idiocy the Ming ran from behind his cover and started to make his way back to his comrade.

**Centurion: 4 Ming: 4**

Infuriated by what he had just seen, the head Centurion unslung a Pilum from his back. Taking careful aim he threw the javelin at the fleeing Ming. The weapon flew true, piercing the Ming through the back of the neck. The man gave a gasping cry before he fell down dead. The Commander and his remaining Centurion turned to their fallen friend and saluted him silently.

**Centurion: 4 Ming: 3**

Back at the Skorpion, the two Centurions decided to rest at the entrence of the rocky tunnel the others had run through. That was when a Ming Warrior jumped down with his Nest of Bees and fired. One of the Centurions raised his shield and the arrows bounced off, though one did nick his ankle. The Skorpion operator, however, had no shield, and no one to duck behind. He was soon dead, riddled with arrows.

**Centurion: 3 Ming: 3**

The Ming drew his Dao and advanced on the remaining Centurion; who answered the unspoken challenge by reading his shield and Gladius. The two charged each other and began a deadly dance of blades. The Ming slashed his sword, but it bounced off the Roman's shield. Trying to take advantage, the Roman stabbed at his adversary. The Ming twirled out of the way, and getting under the Centurion's guard sliced his sword arm off. While the man stared in shock at his stump, the Ming twirled his sword and stabbed the other man in the side, just beneath his armor. The Roman gasped, dropped his shield and fell to the ground.

The Ming flicked his sword to remove the blood and started to walk off. He didn't notice that the Roman had not yet died. The Centurion grasped his Dolabra with his remaining hand, and charged the Ming, screaming a battle cry. The Ming turned, shocked to see the man still alive. That one moment of shock cost him as the Roman buried the Dolabra into the Ming's neck. The Ming choked, but managed enough strength to put his Dao through the Centurion's face. Soon, both men toppled over dead.

**Centurion: 2 Ming: 2**

The Centurions emerged from the other side of tunnel, to find no one there. The leader looks over the edge of the cliff, seeing that while the bottom is quite a drop below, it didn't look to be fatal. Which was lucky, as at that moment a Ming leaned over a rock he was hiding behind and shot the Centurion leader in the back with his Pole Cannon. The shot didn't kill the Centurion, but the force knocked him forward . . . right over the cliff. Another Ming ran from behind the rock and engaged the other Centurion in combat. While the Centurion fought his enemy Dolabra to Dao, the other Ming tried to take a shot at him, but it bounced off his shield, leaving the Ming with one shot left.

Things were looking bad for the Centurion, especially when the final shot from the cannon hit his leg. The Centurion winced in agony, and the Ming facing him rushed him to finish him off. He swung his Dao into the arm of the Centurion, but the injured man managed to raise his shield at the last second, which was all that kept him from losing his arm. The Ming had still managed to give him a pretty nasty cut. With the last of his strength, the Roman uppercut the Ming with his shield, which sent him stumbling backwards, over the edge of the cliff.

It was only moments ago that the Centurion commander had regained his bearings, the fall knocking him for a loop. As he stood he looked upwards to the sound of battle. He then jumped to the side as a Ming warrior fell down from above. The commander inspected the man, finding that he was only unconscious, like the Roman himself had been moments ago. Grinning an evil grin the Centurion took his Pilum stabbed the Ming through the throat, killing him.

**Centurion: 2 Ming: 1**

The Roman at the top of the cliff sighed at the sight of his still living captain killing the Ming. His relief was short lived however as he felt a bullet bite into his good leg, brining him to his knees. He turned, seeing the last Ming emerge from behind the rock. He had apparently taken the time to reload. He had also learned from his mistakes, and knew to shoot at the Centurion's exposed limbs. His next shot took out the Roman's shield arm, leaving him defenseless. The final shot from the Cannon, went right through the Centurion's forehead.

**Centurion: 1 Ming: 1**

The Ming turned when he heard running, and saw the last Centurion running up the hill toward him. The Ming tried to load a shot, but saw that he wouldn't have enough time as the Roman was on him. The Ming swung his Pole Cannon like a club, but it bounced off the Centurion's shield with a loud clang. The Roman responded by slamming the Ming with his shield, knocking the cannon from his hands.

The Ming crashed into the side of the rock wall, already drawing his Dao for the final battle. He met the Centurion head on and tried to decapitate him. But the Roman deflected the sword. Working with the motion, the Ming altered his blades course and stabbed the Roman in the leg. The Centurion cried out, and responded by bringing his own sword down on the Ming's hand. The Ming screamed in agony as he backpedaled starring at his stump of a hand. The Roman Centurion then stepped forward and stabbed his Gladius through the Ming's heart, killing him instantly. As the man fell to the ground, the Roman Centurion raised his sword into the air, in memory for his fallen comrades, but also in joy at having defeated such a worthy foe. Taking a deep breath he shouted to the sky "For the Empire!"

Winner: Roman Centurion

Roman Centurion: 529

Gladius: 259

Dolabra: 150

Pilum: 80

Scorpion: 40

Ming Warrior: 471

Mechanical Land Mine: 235

Dao: 107

3-Barrel Pole Cannon: 77

Nest Of Bees: 52

_Narrator: _In this climactic battle of Empires, it was the Roman Centurion who came out on top, with their deadly Gladius and Dolabra scoring most of their kills. The Ming weren't far behind though, with their Land Mine gaining over two-hundred kill in the simulation.

Dr. Dorian: Despite them having primitive guns the Ming still lost. Perhaps it's because the Roman's had the better defenses in this fight. Or maybe the weapons are two complex, but not effective enough. The Land Mine requires the enemy trip it. The Pole Cannon only has three shots and a long load time, with questionable results. And the Nest of Bees, while interesting, lacks the accuracy needed. The Centurion's didn't have any gunpowder based weapons, but he never had to worry that his tools might not work.

_We see the Roman Centurion commander trudging back to his camp, the Dao sword of the fallen Ming commander taken as his prize from combat. _

**The End. **

**Next Time On Deadliest Warrior: **

Cops and Robbers to the extreme! Al Capone faces more then simple law enforcement. He will face the deadly CIA! Will the mob boss live to tell the tale, after the CIA make their move to assassinate him!**  
**


	12. Mafia vs Spetsnaz: Alternate Ending

I feel I should give a little bit of the backstory behind this one. You see, when I originally made the chapter: Mafia vs. Spetsnaz, I really had trouble working out the ending. So, I made two of them. One where the Spetsnaz won, and one where the Mafia won.

Most of the people I asked told me that the Spetsnaz ending was better, so that was the one I was going to post. However, I actually liked the Mafia ending more then the Spetsnaz one, so I chose it. I know that if there was ever a real fight, the Mafia would probably not win. But be honest, you weren't expecting the Mafia to win were you? You just assumed that the Spetsnaz would kick ass. I just thought that I could shake things up a bit.

I do however, have this feeling that people get this weird, knee-jerk reaction to the Spetsnaz. People saw how awesome they were on the show, and I will admit, that Sonny seems like a kick-ass type of person. But I feel that they equate this awesomeness with all Spetsnaz, and may have romatizied them a bit in their minds. Yes, the Spetsnaz are highly skilled special forces, but I do not think that they are invincible. I'm sure there are groups out there that could beat the ever loving day-lights out of them.

Perhaps even with a bit of luck and fire power, the Mafia could hold them off. (?) You have to admit, that the two experts they got for the Mafia in the Mafia vs. Yakuza episode, are an interesting mixture of humorous, and intimidating. Perhaps not as intimidating as Sonny, but still...

Now, enough stalling, here is the alternate ending of the Mafia vs. Spetsnaz:

The next time the mafia swung, he was ready, ducking the swing and getting inside the mobster's guard. He gave his enemy a jab to the stomach, then one to the face. The mobster responded by tackling the spetsnaz to the ground. The Spetsnaz just rolled him over and punched him in the face, breaking his nose. He reached out to break the criminal's neck, when he felt a sudden pain in his chest. He looked down, and saw a stiletto knife in the mobsters hands. Luckily the armor had thrown off the aim, but the cut was still very deep.

When the Spetsnaz looked down to see what had hurt him, the mafia hit man used the last of his strength to roll him off, and tried to crawl back to where he saw his gun. But the Spetsnaz grabbed his ankle, and tried to pull him back. Frightened the hit man kicked with his other leg, and hit the commander in the face, breaking his nose and chipping a tooth; but also allowing him to crawl away.

Scrambling toward his Shotgun, the Mafia boss sighed in relief to see it loaded. Grabbing the gun, he gave a quick pump, then turned over to fire at the Spetsnaz leader. His finger on the trigger he prepared to fire . . . BANG! only to fall backwards, a bullet hole in head. The Spetsnaz leader stood up, and holstered his Makarov pistol, he throws his head back and cries: "Ya Spetsnaz!"

**Mafia: 0 Spetsnaz: 1**

Winner: Spetsnaz

Spetsnaz: 533

AK74 Carbine: 290

Saiga Shotgun: 106

Dragunov Rifle: 86

RGD-5 Grenade: 26

Ballistic Knife: 10

Makarov Pistol: 15

Mafia: 467

Tommy Gun: 370

Pineapple Grenade: 59

Baseball Bat: 15

Sawed-off Shotgun: 20

Molotov Cocktail: 2

Stiletto Knife: 1

_Narrator: _In this battle of opposites, it was the highly skilled Spetsnaz that came out on top. His victory was greatly because his AK74 Carbine and Saiga Shotgun both scored impressive three digit scores.

Dr. Dorian: I'll admit, I'm not surprised that the Spetsnaz won this round. While the Mafia may have some powerful weaponry behind them, it's just not enough to overcome the superior training and skill of the Spetsnaz.

_We see the Spetsnaz leader standing over the dead Mafia boss. He takes a cigar from his pocket, lights it, then head back toward the van the Spetsnaz arrived in. Turning back to the warehouse he raises a hand in salute to his fallen comrades. _

**The End. **


	13. Al Capone Gang vs CIA

_Disclaimer: I don't own Deadliest Warrior; but I wish I did. _

**Deadliest Warrior, Chapter 12: Al Capones' Gang vs. CIA**

_Narrator: _

Al Capone, the ruthless gangster whose criminal empire bloodied the streets of depression-era Chicago.

_(We see Al's mobsters shooting down a rival gang)._

_Narrator: _

The CIA; America's elite core of espionage artists. Fighting an undercover war around the globe.

_(We see a CIA agent shoot an enemy agent with his Briefcase Gun). _

**WHO IS DEADLIEST?**

To find out, our world class fighters are testing histories most lethal weapons. Using 21st century science, we'll see what happens when the two warriors go toe to toe. No rules. No safety. No mercy. It's a duel to the death, to decide who is...THE DEADLIEST WARRIOR!

Al Capone Gang

Reign of Terror: 1922 - 1931

Members :10 - 20

Crimes: Bootlegging & Murder

CIA

Years Active: 1947 - Present

Height: 5' 11"

Weight: 180 LBS

Missions: Covert & Paramilitary OPS

_Narrator: _Here at the fight club, we'll pit four weapons used by ruthless crime boss Al Capone:

Stiletto Knife

Submachine Gun

Pineapple Grenade

Brass Knuckles

_Narrator: _And pit them against the weapons used by America's elite secret agents:

Garrote Wire

Mac-10

Exploding Cigar

Briefcase Gun

_Narrator: _First, our two fighters will test out their sinister close range weapons: Al Capone Stiletto Knife, and the CIA's Garrote Wire.

Bob faced his dummy, knife in hand. With a flick the retractable blade popped out, ready for action. He stepped up to the dummy and gutted it with the blade. But he wasn't finished just yet. He slit the dummies throat, then reached in grabbed the tongue and pulled out the cut; a Sicilian necktie.

Fred stood behind a dummy holding a thin wire. When he got the signal he looped the wire around the neck of the dummy and pulled back with all his might. The wire cut deep into the skin when, suddenly, the wire cut through and decapitated the dummy.

Dr. Dorian: Well, both of these weapons do the job just fine, but I think that since the garrote really needs more stealth to be used effectively, I'm giving the edge to the Stiletto Knife.

Edge: Al Capone

_Narrator: _Next, our two teams will break out the big guns as the fire at each other with their long range weapons: CIA's Mac-10 against Al Capone Submachine Gun.

Fred stood looking at the special moving target dummies. When he got the signal he opened fire, hitting the first dummy in the head from the get go. With deadly accuracy, the dummies were quickly destroyed in about nineteen seconds.

Bob took the fully loaded Tommy Gun and looked out over the course. On receiving the signal he let out a spray of bullets that soon had destroyed the course. The time was just about twenty seconds.

Dr. Dorian: The times are real close, and both seem equally deadly, but I think I'm going to give this one to the Mac-10.

Edge: CIA

_Narrator: _Now our two deadly teams will test out their deadly explosive weapons: Al Capone Pineapple Grenade and CIA Exploding Cigar.

Bob walked out toward his target. In the middle of a demolition site they had built a fake room with several dummies inside. Bob pulled the pin on the grenade and tossed it through the window of the building, then ran away. The grenade went off, knocking over some of the walls. Dr. Dorian came and examined the bodies. Some had been killed by the explosion, while some by the shockwave, while others (while injured) were left alive.

Fred carefully stuck a special CIA cigar in the mouth of a dummy. The dummy was sitting at a desk, wearing an expensive suit. Fred lit the cigar, then ran back behind the blast shield. After a few moments, the cigar went off, blowing the dummy's face off in an impressive shower of gore.

Dr. Dorian: While both weapons are impressive, and the CIA cigar is certainly sneaky, I have to say I like the Grenade better. It can hit multiple targets, and unlike the Cigar, which needs to be near the victim in order to do damage, the Grenade does not. My edge goes to the Pineapple Grenade.

Edge: Al Capone

_Narrator: _For our final test, the two teams will test a unique special weapon: The CIA Briefcase Gun, and Al Capone Brass Knuckles.

Fred readied himself for the test: he was to walk toward three dummies, all dressed in business suits. He was to shoot the one in the middle (preferably a kill shot). As he moved toward them, they came at him. When he judged himself close enough, he twitched his hand and fired. The shot hit the center dummy in the chest as a kill shot.

Bob was next, flexing his hand in a set of brass knuckles. He was supposed to punch a skull as many times as it took for the "victim" to "die". The fist punch actually caused a small dent in the skull, the next punch made it bigger, with multiple fractures radiating from the center.

Dr. Dorian: These two weapons are very different: one direct, one sneaky. The Brass Knuckles are effective, but it takes more then one hit, and it requires the user to be very close. The Briefcase Gun is the exact opposite. It can't be used effectively at close range, but one well aimed shot could be all it takes to bring someone down. Using that weapon takes real skill, since your firing from the knee or lower. The Brass Knuckles don't really take any real skill, and anyone can use them. So for those reasons, my vote goes to the Briefcase Gun.

Edge: CIA

_Narrator: _With all the testing complete, Max Geiger uploads the data gathered from the tests into the battle simulation, developed by Slitherine Studio, to simulate a battle to the death between these two warriors. To make sure that victory isn't snatched by a single lucky blow, the battle will be simulated 1000 times. Who will win in this squad on squad battle of opposites? The Creme of the Crop of Crime: Al Capone? Or America's most secret and effective assassins: the CIA? It's time to find out which team is deadliest!

Close Range Edge: Al Capone Gang Stiletto Knife

Long Range Edge: CIA Mac-10

Explosive Weapon Edge: Al Capone Gang Pineapple Grenade

Special Weapon Edge: CIA Briefcase Gun

It's time to find out which warrior is truly the deadliest. Max hits the button on the computer, and suddenly the screen goes "Matrix" on us.

The fight opens with Al Capone and two bodyguards walking into a hotel. Two of his men were already in the hotel, scouting the floor where he would be staying, as well as the floor below and above, to make sure nobody was spying on them. Al merely glanced at the frightened doorman as he made his way inside. He glanced around, there were only two people in the lobby, neither one of them looked like a threat. On his left, a middle aged man reading a newspaper. On his right was a bar, the lady bartender cleaning the counter. Capone and his two men went up in the elevator.

-Later-

The CIA agent saw his target leaving his hotel room, accompanied by his two armed bodyguards. It was a testament to how much power Capone had that he could walk around wherever he wanted, armed to the teeth. But that was going to end today, him and four others were here to end the Capone empire.

A business man walks toward Capone and his men as they head to the elevator. The CIA prepares himself and fires his Briefcase Gun at Capone . . . but one of his bodyguards stumbles in front of him, and takes the shot to the chest. The man makes a startled gasp, and falls over dead. Before the agent could get off a second shot, Capone's second bodyguard raises his Tommy Gun and blasts him in the chest. Capone's still living bodyguard pulled out a walkie-talkie and called for back-up. He then led Capone to a set of emergency stairs that would take them back to the lobby.

**Al Capone: 4 CIA: 4**

The floor above, a CIA agent ducked into dark corner as she saw one of Capone's goons running down the hall. He had just gotten the word from the boss to meet him in the lobby. As he walked past, a CIA agent appeared behind him and rapped a Garrote Wire around his neck. The man gasped for air as the wire bit into his neck. Deciding to take a more direct approach, he pulled out a Stiletto Knife and tried to stab behind him, managing to cut her in the side, though she did not let go. He couldn't stab anymore though, because by then he had started to black out. It was only when his body stopped twitching, that the CIA agent let his body fall lifelessly to the floor.

**Al Capone: 3 CIA: 4**

After she let the dead man drop, she went and pressed the call button for the elevator. She was going to head down to the lobby, where her leader had informed her Capone was heading. As she waited, she heard a shout, turned and saw another Capone gangster. He looked down at the dead body, then up at her. Just as the elevator door opened, he leveled his Tommy Gun at her and started to fire. She jumped back into the elevator and ducked down, pulling out her Mac-10. A quick burst of fire to his legs brought him to his knees, a look of pain written across his face. Another burst knocked the gun from his hand and peppered his chest. Seeing the doors close in the elevator, and realizing he is about to die anyway, the Gangster reaches into his breast pocket and pulls out a Pineapple Grenade. He throws the bomb, where it bounces twice before it lands in the elevator just as it closes. With his strength spent, and knowing he'd see his killer in hell soon enough, the Gangster fell over dead.

Inside the elevator the woman was relieved when the elevator doors shut. That was until she heard the Grenade bounce into the enclosed space, just as the doors closed. Her eyes widened and her mouth opened in a silent scream just as the bomb went off, killing her and plunging the elevator into the abyss.

**Al Capone: 2 CIA: 3**

Capone and his bodyguard emerge into the lobby, just as the elevator crashes onto the ground floor. Al's bodyguard looks across the room and sees the businessman from earlier stand and pull a Mac-10 from beneath his coat. The bodyguard pushes his boss behind the bar counter, knocking over the bartender, just as the CIA operative fires a hail of bullets.

As Al was taking cover he looked over at the bartender, who was, trying to pull something out from her jacket. Al's eyes widened as he saw that it was a Mac-10, just like the other CIA agents had. Al's eyes narrowed in anger. So she was in on it too, huh? She thought she could kill him? That was when Al remembered that during the run down to the lobby, he'd slipped on his brass knuckles, just in case. With that thought, his fist flew out and struck her in the face, making her drop the gun. A slight kick sent it out of reach. He grabbed her around the neck, but she kicked him in the stomach. Al punched her face again and again, and her kicks got weaker and weaker. Until with one final punch, they stopped. The woman was dead.

**Al Capone: 2 CIA: 2**

After a while all was quiet. Al's bodyguard, thinking that the agent had run out of ammo, decided to shoot him before he could reload. He stood up Tommy Gun in hand . . . and got shot through the forehead. His dead body dropped to the ground, leaving Al alone.

**Al Capone: 1 CIA: 2**

Deciding he wasn't going to go out like this, Al grabbed his bodyguards gun and slid to the side of the bar and immediately started firing. The CIA agent hadn't expected that and got shot in the legs because of it. The man fell to the ground, Al Capone running at him. He raised his gun to fire, but a second burst from the Tommy Gun almost took his hand clean off. When Al got to him, he kicked him in the teeth, knocking the guy back. Then Al picked him up and slammed him into the wall, pinning his arms. That was when Al decided to end this. He reached into his pocket and pulled out his favorite Stiletto Knife. Enjoying the look in the other man's eyes, Al quickly slit his throat, grinning madly as the life blood drained from his enemy.

**Al Capone: 1 CIA: 1**

Before Al dropped his dead body, he saw a small box sticking out slightly from the man's front pocket. Al raised an eyebrow as he saw that it was a small box of cigars. Well Al figured that it wasn't like the guy would be using them, so he'd just take them off his hands. Al opened the box, Cuban by the look of it as he headed outside. Al had to give it to the guy, he'd had good taste. Al lit the cigar as he left the building, and ordered the shaking doorman to bring his car around. Al figured he'd have to kill the man once he did, after all, he'd probably heard all the noise. As the man turned around the corner, Al took a big puff on his cigar . . . BOOOOOOOOOOM! The Cigar Exploded, and Al Capone's head was reduced to a pink mist.

Around the corner, the doorman let out a sigh. While not going quite according to plan, Al Capone was dead. He hopped into Al Capone's car, figuring that since Al wasn't going to be needing it, he'd just take it off his hands.

**Al Capone: 0 CIA: 1**

Winner: CIA

CIA: 547

Mac-10: 410

Briefcase Gun: 95

Exploding Cigar: 41

Garrote Wire: 1

Al Capone: 453

Submachine Gun: 335

Pineapple Grenade: 115

Stiletto Knife: 2

Brass Knuckles: 1

_Narrator: _In this deadly battle of Cops vs. Robbers, it was the deadly CIA that took home the Gold. With their Mac-10 scoring in the 400s their victory was well won.

Dr. Dorian: Well, I guess it makes sense, the CIA are highly skilled, and can handle the weapons equally well. Al Capone's team was impressive, but not enough to overcome the skill of their opponent.

**The End. **

**Next Time on Deadliest Warrior: **

Legendary Leaders collide in a titanic battle to the death. Scottish rebel William Wallace takes on Chinese Warmonger Sun Tzu. Claymore against Jian, Flaming Arrows against Chain-Mail armor and more in this upcoming battle to the death. Until Next time...**  
**


	14. William Wallace vs Sun Tzu

_Disclaimer: I don't own Deadliest Warrior; but I wish I did. _

**Deadliest Warrior, Chapter 13: William Wallace vs. Sun Tzu**

_Narrator: _

William Wallace; the legendary scottish rebel, who lead a bloodthirsty army of Highlanders against the mighty English empire.

_(We see William Wallace killing an Englishman with his Targe). _

_Narrator: _

Sun Tzu; the ruthless Chinese warmonger, whose revolutionary "Art Of War" led to the massacre of millions.

_(We see Sun Tzu writing the Art Of War). _

**WHO IS DEADLIEST?**

To find out, our world class fighters are testing histories most lethal weapons. Using 21st century science, we'll see what happens when the two warriors go toe to toe. No rules. No safety. No mercy. It's a duel to the death, to decide who is...THE DEADLIEST WARRIOR!

William Wallace

c. 1270 - 1305

Scotland

Gear - 40 LBS

Armor - Chain Mail

Sun Tzu

544 - 496 BC

Height: 5' 7"

Weight: 160 LBS

Armor: Leather Lamellar, Shield, Bronze Helmet

_Narrator: _Here in the fight club, we take four weapons used by legendary Scottish Rebel, William Wallace:

Claymore

Ball & Chain

War Hammer

Targe & Dirk

_Narrator: _and see how they fare against the weapons of the famous "Art of War" author, Sun Tzu:

Jian

Repeating Crossbow

Zhua

Flaming Arrows

_Narrator: _To kick off the battle, our two teams of experts will test their warriors famous swords: William Wallace's Claymore, and Sun Tzu's Jian.

Bob twirled William Wallace's Claymore like a pro as he stepped toward three skulls sitting atop stacks of meat. Then with a wild battle cry, he swung the sword in a large arc. First one, then two, then finally three, the heads were separated from their necks. Bob flicked the sword to remove the excess blood, then stood back. The rest of the teams blinked in awe of the display. But Fred just shook his head.

Fred: That looks great, but he leaves himself totally open. If he misses with that, he's dead. With my weapon, by the time he completes one of those swings, I'll have filled him full of holes.

Fred took his Jian and stood between two pig carcasses. On his teams signal he twirled and slashed his blade through the first pig. The sword nearly cut the pig in half. In a single spin, he faced the second pig and jabbed three times in rapid succession. To finish, he jabbed the blade up to the hilt near the pig's neck.

Dr. Dorian: Well, both weapons do impress me, but I still need to pick a favorite. The Jian is fast, but I'm not sure how it would fare against chain-mail, which as we've seen before, tends to be a bit of a null factor for slashing weapons. That said, it can put a lot of power behind it's jabs. For the claymore, yes it's slow, but seeing it butcher three guys at one time; I think that that clenched it for me. I'm giving the first advantage to the Claymore.

Edge: William Wallace.

_Narrator: _Next, our two fierce competitors will but their long range weapons to the test: Sun Tzu's Repeating Crossbow, against William Wallace's Ball & Chain.

Fred stood in front a gel torso decked out in William Wallace style chain-mail. Making sure he had plenty of ammo, he started shooting arrows. The first arrow, aimed at the chest, seemed to pierce the armor, but fell out without causing significant damage. The second one to the stomach though, managed to stick. The same happened with the ones to the arms, and near the top of the chain-mail. It all took about twenty-seconds.

Bob came to take his turn, facing a block of ice shaped like the upper body of an enemy. He swung the ball and chain and tossed the ball at the ice block. And missed. The second one went to far left, the third went over. Finally the fourth hit dead center, and shattered the ice into several large pieces. By this time he was red with embarrassment, the other team snickering at his gigantic failure.

Dr. Dorian: Well, that was a bit obvious. The old Ball & Chain lacks the speed and accuracy of the Repeating Crossbow. Sure the Ball & Chain may have more blunt power, but in this case, it's just a little too little, and a little too late. Edge goes to the Repeating Crossbow.

Edge: Sun Tzu

_Narrator: _Now for a contest of mid range weaponry: William Wallace's War Hammer goes against Sun Tzu's Zhua.

Bob, eager to make up for his humiliating defeat in the long range challenge, walked up to to skulls: one real, one made of gel. In rapid succession, he slammed the hammer part down on the real skull, reducing it to powder. Then he turned it over to the spike side, and planted it into the gel head. The spike cut through like butter, the point coming out through the jaw.

Fred griped the Zhua and faced his gel torso. Then, spinning quickly the used the claws of the Zhua to tear the face off. He then slammed the end of the pole into the heads temple, before finishing it off by slamming the pointed fingers of the weapon into the dummies chest.

Dr. Dorian: Well, while I am impressed by the War Hammer's brutal display, I think that it just my be a bit too blunt. The range isn't great, and you can really only do two things with it. The Zhua has a longer range, it can be used to attack, defend, block, or redirect. I think that the Zhua has earned the Mid Range edge.

Edge: Sun Tzu

_Narrator: _For the final test, our combatants will test out a special weapon of their choice: Sun Tzu's Flaming Arrows, and William Wallace's Targe & Dirk Combo.

Fred was back in front of his Wallace look-alike dummy. The first arrow was lit and he fired the arrow, aiming for the cloth part of the dummy's clothing. At first it seemed like the cloth would catch fire, but then the arrow fell out onto the ground, and the fire went out. The next hit the chest, and managed to stick. However, the fire didn't really catch, and by the looks of it, the arrow didn't look to deep. In fact when the doctor went to check the wounds, the arrows never went deeper then where the cloth was wrapped around the arrow. Their was also not a lot of bleeding, due to the fire cauterizing the wound.

Finally it was Bob's turn, and he was determined to take the last advantage. He strapped the Targe shield to his arm, and raised the Dirk. Then he charged full speed at a gel dummy. The spike on the Targe pierced the dummy right through the heart. He then stabbed the neck and face of the dummy with the Dirk.

Dr. Dorian: While the Flaming Arrows are certainly interesting, they don't seem to be very effective. The Targe & Dirk however is putting something through somebody's chest and sticking out their back. That's just awesome. The edge goes to the Targe & Dirk combo.

Edge: William Wallace

_Narrator: _With all the testing complete, Max Geiger uploads the data gathered from the tests into the battle simulation, developed by Slitherine Studio, to simulate a battle to the death between these two warriors. To make sure that victory isn't snatched by a single lucky blow, the battle will be simulated 1000 times. Who will win in this battle of legendary leaders? William Wallace, the fearsome Scottish Rebel? Or Sun Tzu, the ruthless Chinese Warmonger? Highlander leader? Or "Art Of War" author?

Close Range Edge: Sun Tzu's Zhua

Mid Range Edge: William Wallace's Claymore

Long Range Edge: Sun Tzu's Repeating Crossbow

Special Weapon Edge: William Wallace's Targe & Dirk

It's time to find out which warrior is truly the deadliest. Max hits the button on the computer, and suddenly the screen goes "Matrix" on us.

We see William Wallace walk in on a campsite in the middle of the woods. William sees a teapot on the fire, but no one was around. Wallace figured that who ever this campsite belonged to must be nearby. Wallace lifted on of the cups by the fire and drank some of the tea. Wallace shrugged, it was better then any English tea at least.

Sun Tzu was returning from hunting to see a large man standing in his campsite. Sun Tzu was curious who he was, especially seeing how heavily armed he was. Not willing to take the chance that this man could be an enemy, Sun Tzu readied his Repeating Crossbow . . .

Wallace heard the whistling of an arrow and turned around just as an arrow hit him in the shoulder. He grunted and yanked the arrow out of his shoulder, ducking as a second arrow flew over head. He raised his Targe shield just in time to prevent a third arrow from going through his face. Deciding to retaliate, Wallace took hold of the Ball & Chain at his hip he spun around and threw the ball with all his might.

Sun Tzu just managed to jump out of the way as the steel ball flew past and slammed into a tree with sickening crunch. Sun Tzu just managed to steady himself as William Wallace came at him swinging his War Hammer. The Hammer knocked the Crossbow from Sun Tzu's hands, and he had to roll out of the way to avoid getting his head smashed in. Needing a weapon Sun Tzu reached behind a tree and pulled out his hidden Zhua.

Spinning around, he racked the claws of his weapon across the larger man's chest, tearing his shirt, but only clinking against his chain-mail armor. Wallace lashed out with his War Hammer, but was stopped by the Zhua.

The two stood for a moment, their weapons locked, when Sun Tzu twisted the Zhua and disarmed Wallace of his weapon. Sun Tzu tried to bring the claws down on Wallace's face, but Wallace actually managed to grab the weapon and stop its attack. Wallace tried to stab Sun Tzu with his Targe shield, but Sun Tzu jerked the Zhua from Wallace's grip and nailed him in the stomach with the blunt end before he could. The Zhua then bobbed Wallace in the head with the pole, stunning him. Wallace grunted in pain and almost blacked out. He grabbed the Zhua and yanked with all him might, before breaking it over his knee. When he stood up Sun Tzu was gone.

Meanwhile, Sun Tzu snuck through the woods, gathering some hidden supplies he had stashed just in case. He was going to prepare a little surprise for Wallace, one that he was sure would end him.

Wallace searched for his enemy, now holding his Dirk Dagger close, when he spied something down a hill. It was Sun Tzu! The man had his back turned, and was crouched down, likely waiting for an opportunity to attack him. Well, Wallace would never give him that chance, forgoing his war cry, Wallace jumped down and skewered Sun Tzu from behind with his Targe spike, feeling blood ooze form the wound. But something was wrong, Wallace turned the body to find it was nothing but armor filled with straw and sticks. But then what was that blood? In the center of the dummy was a now shattered pot, it contents covering most of the dummy's insides, and Wallace's shield. Wallace put his fingers to his tongue . . . it tasted like . . . oil?

Wallace heard the sound of an arrow in flight, and turned just as a Flaming Arrow hit the Sun Tzu dummy dead center. The dummy burst into flames, sparks from the fire burning Wallace's boots. A second arrow hit his oil soaked shield, causing it to ignite. Wallace yelled out as the flames burned his arm, only dimly aware of a third arrow striking his right shoulder. Wallace cast the Targe away, just as the fire set about reducing it to ash. Wallace pulled out the third Arrow, which thankful had not managed to set him ablaze. He looked up to see the Chinese strategist glaring down at him.

Sun Tzu frowned from his spot in the tree. What did it take to kill this giant of a man? No matter, the man was clearly injured, and his shield not but ash. His enemy was left with but a paltry dagger, and a large sword; which Sun Tzu was skeptical he could even use in his condition. Still Sun Tzu knew he had to end this, his enemy was incredibly strong, but Sun Tzu knew he could defeat him. He leapt down from his tree, and drew his Jian. Wallace saw his enemy face him, draw his sword and twirl it in an impressive display.

Wallace grinned, it would end here. He stuck his Dirk back on his belt, no sense wasting it, and drew out his Claymore. His shield arm still stung a bit from the burns, but he knew he could win, he just knew it.

Sun Tzu saw that adversary was favoring his non-burned side, and began thinking of a strategy. He knew he could win, he just knew it.

The two warriors locked sword and began a deadly dance. Wallace tried to bisect the War Monger with wide swings only to have the smaller man duck and weave in and out his range. Sun Tzu retaliated by trying to skewer the Scottish Rebel with his precision jabs, only to have the giant jump away with a grace that seemed unnatural for his size.

Finally the sword lock once again, and Sun Tzu pushed with all his might, and slowly his sword came closer and closer to Wallace's body. Sun Tzu grinned, this would be his finest victory. Wallace had to do something, when he got an idea. Taking his burned hand let go of the Claymore, and when the Jian slid to take his head, he used his good arm to direct it to his shoulder. The chain-mail absorbed most of the damage, but the blade still cut enough to draw blood. But the moment his weaker arm had let go of the Claymore, it had reached for the Dirk at his belt. With a quick slash, he cut the weapon across Sun Tzu face. Sun Tzu jerked back as blood blinded one eye. Wallace then stabbed the hand holding the Jian in the wrist, making his enemy drop the weapon. Then as quickly as he could he grabbed his Claymore in both hands, and spun 360 Degrees. The blade seemed to scream as it tore through the air, before passing right though Sun Tzu and separating his head from his shoulders. The head flew off and landed right beside William Wallace. The body of Sun Tzu slumped into a heap on the ground, it's precious life blood spilling out and staining the ground.

Stepping back, Wallace eyed his fallen foe. Then he reared back his head and screamed to the heavens in victory!

Winner: William Wallace

William Wallace: 636

Claymore: 322

Targe & Dirk: 260

War Hammer: 50

Ball & Chain: 4

Sun Tzu: 364

Jian: 230

Zhua: 58

Repeating Crossbow: 50

Flaming Arrows: 26

_Narrator: _In this battle between two of histories most powerful and bloody warriors, it was William Wallace who came out alive. His Claymore and Targe & Dirk Combination dominated the fight and both had kills in the triple digits.

Dr. Dorian: I'm not surprised that Wallace won the fight, I am surprised that Sun Tzu didn't do quite as well as I had thought he would. Perhaps Sun Tzu is simply a better strategist then he is a fighter? Wallace had weapons that were devastating at every range, while only some of Sun Tzu's weapons, like the Jian, were effective. Others like the Repeating Crossbow, while seeming like they would be effective, simply lacked the power to take William Wallace down. This is somewhat similar to the fight of the Spartan vs. the Ninja. Sun Tzu can certainly hurt William Wallace, but William Wallace can absolutely kill Sun Tzu.

_We see William Wallace standing over Sun Tzu's headless corpse, his arms raised as he yells in victory, his Claymore in one hand, the Jian in the other. _

**The End. **

**Next Time On Deadliest Warrior: **

The Battle of Leaders continues as we see another famous pair enter the ring. Cruel Vlad the Impaler takes on vicious Attila the Hun. Neither of these two will give an inch, as they struggle to prove who is the greater man! A Meteorite blade against cold steel, and archaic guns against bows and arrows! Be there! Until Next Time...

**Also, take a chance to read my latest story: Deadliest Character! The premise is the same as this one, but using warriors or groups of warriors from fiction. The first contestants? **

Zabuza Momochi, the Demon of the Hidden Mist Village, and master of the silent killing technique.

against...

Kenpachi Zaraki, battle loving Captain of Soul Society, one of the most powerful, and tenacious, members of the Bleach world.

**So who will it be? Read to find out! **


	15. Attila The Hun vs Vlad The Impaler

_Disclaimer: I don't own Deadliest Warrior; but I wish I did. _

**Deadliest Warrior, Chapter 14: Attila The Hun vs. **

** Vlad The Impaler**

_Narrator: _

Attila The Hun, the notorious barbarian horseman, who terrorized and ravaged the European Continent.

_(We see Attila and his Huns ravaging a local village). _

_Narrator: _

Vlad The Impaler; the medieval Romanian Prince whose insatiable thirst for blood inspired the legend of Dracula.

_(We see Vlad slaughter his enemies with his Kilij). _

**WHO IS DEADLIEST?**

To find out, our world class fighters are testing histories most lethal weapons. Using 21st century science, we'll see what happens when the two warriors go toe to toe. No rules. No safety. No mercy. It's a duel to the death, to decide who is...THE DEADLIEST WARRIOR!

Attila The Hun

406 - 453 AD

Height - 5' 6"

Weight - 145 LBS

Armor - Leather Lamellar

Vlad The Impaler

1431 - 1476

Height: 5' 9"

Weight: 170 LBS

Armor: Chain Mail, Steel Plates, Shield, Steel Helmet

_Narrator: _Here in the Fight Club, we take four weapons used by the mighty barbarian, Attila The Hun:

Scythian Axe

Composite Bow

Lasso

Sword Of Mars

_Narrator: _And see how they compare to the tools used by the Romanian Prince, Vlad The Impaler:

Hand Cannon

Steel Crossbow

Halberd

Kilij

_Narrator: _For our first test, the two warriors will compare their Long Range Weapons: Attila's Composite Bow, against Vlad's Steel Crossbow.

Fred got on his horse, he had enjoyed his brief vacation during the Kenpachi/Zabuza fight, but now it was time for him to get back to work. Preparing his arrows, he rode off toward his targets. The targets were set up to move back and forth as he road past. Fred fired as quickly as he could, as well as proving to fairly accurate with his shots. When the doctor checked the targets, it showed that those that had landed inside the target circle, proved to be kill shots. In fact most took quite a bit of effort to pull out of the targets.

Next it was Bob's turn. Since his steel crossbow wasn't be fired from horse back, he stood facing the targets as they moved to and frow. He fired the first shot, which struck slightly off center, but then he took thirty seconds to reload before firing a second shot, which missed. After about three minutes of firing and reloading with various degrees of success, the team called a halt to the test.

Dr. Dorian: Since the Composite Bow can shoot much faster, and with greater accuracy; as opposed to the Steel Crossbow, which has long load time and little accuracy, we give the edge to the Hunnic Composite Bow.

Edge: Attila The Hun

_Narrator: _Our second test has our combatants going at it from mid range with: Vlad's Halberd against Attila's Lasso.

Bob faced his dummy, holding the menacing Halberd in the ready position, then on the testers signal, he attacked. He chard the dummy and, with a flourishing spin decapitated the dummy in a single swing.

This impressed the testers, but Fred and Attila's team were not. Fred pointed out that unless Vlad managed to actually get Attila off his horse, he'd never be fast enough with the Halberd to actually be a threat. Attila's team claimed that the lasso was the much better choice.

Fred once again mounted the horse. This time he charged a dummy, while twirling the lasso above his head. When he was in range, he tossed the lasso, and looped it around the neck of the dummy. As he passed the speed of the horse yanked the dummy off of its stand, and dragged it across the ground. When Fred came to a stop the doctor examined the dummy's neck. He found that the bones had not in fact been broken, as had been expected, but had slipped under the jaw, likely resulting in strangulation after a time.

Dr. Dorian: Well, unless the Lasso instantly snaps Vlad's neck, I don't doubt that he would be able to get free. It would simply take too much time to strangle him. The Halberd though, is almost instantly fatal. That's why I'm giving the mid range edge to the Halberd.

Edge: Vlad The Impaler.

_Narrator: _The third test pits the special weapons of our warriors against the others: with the Scythian Axe going against the Hand Cannon.

This time Fred didn't get a horse, but stood facing a mannequin dressed in armor like Vlad's. Readying himself, he swung his axe at the chain-mail, the blade actually managing to pierce the chest. The next shot aimed at the helmet, and punched right through. This test proved to the DW crew that Attila could be dangerous even when not on horseback.

But Fred and the Vlad team weren't impressed. They claimed that their weapon, the Hand Cannon, had more versatility and more stopping power.

Bob stood against several Hun dummies, all dressed in appropriate armor. Fred fired at the front most dummy, but the shot missed. The next shot though was a hit, and punched right through (though the DW crew took note of the lengthy reload time) the next few shots hit arms and chests, some with visible damage, some with none. And to round the test out, Bob did something unexpected. As though possessed by Vlad himself, he charged at the dummies and, using the Hand Cannon as a club, viciously beat the dummies to the ground, smashing in heads and faces.

Dr. Dorian: I think the Hand Cannon put on a good show, but I don't think that it's quiet as powerful as they made it out to be. It has a long reload and firing time, and if Vlad misses, Attila will be close enough to use his Axe. And while it seems inventive to use the Cannon as a club, I think that if it came to using it as a close range weapon, I'd rather have the Scythian Axe.

Edge: Attila The Hun

_Narrator: _Our final test has our two warriors going head to head with their close range weaponry: Vlad The Impaler's Kilij against Attila The Hun's Sword of Mars.

Fred was on the horse one last time for the final test, planning on running a gauntlet of hanging meat and slicing as much as he possibly could. He sliced the necks holding up two skull. Then pierced the torso of a dummy through the heart for an instant kill. Finally getting to and butchering the hanging beef. All kill shots, all impressive.

This time Bob did get on a horse, planning on running the same challenge. The Vlad team figured that the larger blade would be able to gain the advantage. As he started out he cut the neck of the first skull and sent it bouncing away. The second neck he missed, but actually sliced the skull itself in half. When he reached the torso he did an overhead swing. This nearly split the dummy in half. When he got to the hanging beef, he had built up enough speed that when he swung his blade, the large curved sword actually did cut the meat in half.

Dr. Dorian: Both of these blades impressed me. They both were able to deal kill blows very well. But I think that if I had to pick a blade, I would pick the Kilij. It's longer, the reach is better, and the damage inflicted on the course was slightly better then what the Sword of Mars had to offer. My pick for close range weapons is the Kilij.

Edge: Vlad The Impaler

_Narrator: _With all the testing complete, Max Geiger uploads the data gathered from the tests into the battle simulation, developed by Slitherine Studio, to simulate a battle to the death between these two warriors. To make sure that victory isn't snatched by a single lucky blow, the battle will be simulated 1000 times. Who will win in this battle of histories most brutal bloodthirsty men? Attila The Hun, who ravaged villages and slaughtered anyone in his path? Or Vlad The Impaler, who was known to dine on the blood of those he slaughtered?

Close Range Edge: Vlad's Kilij

Mid Range Edge: Vlad's Halberd

Long Range Edge: Attila's Composite Bow

Special Weapon Edge: Attila's Scythian Axe

It's time to find out which warrior is truly the deadliest. Max hits the button on the computer, and suddenly the screen goes "Matrix" on us.

We open on Attila The Hun riding through the woods, hunting food to bring back to his men. Suddenly the air was pierced by the sounds of horrible screams! Attila rode back quickly to his camp, only to find a terrifying sight: the clearing they had set up was filled with bodies, all impaled on giant spikes. Around the spikes were the bodies of men Attila did not recognize, but who he assumed were part of the squad that did this. In the center of this forest of bodies was a single soldier who was setting up a table of food for his master: Vlad The Impaler. Attila saw with disgust that the leader of these men was actually dipping his bread into the blood of his men.

Deciding to take action and vengeance, he rode into the clearing, firing from his Composite Bow, killing Vlad's last soldier. He fired an arrow at Vlad, but the arrow merely lodged in his helmet. Vlad didn't even look that upset, merely kicking the table over and ducking behind it as Attila road past continuing to fire arrows at him. When Attila had past, he stood up, and fired his Steel Crossbow. But the bolt flew harmlessly past Attila. Attila had run out of arrows, so he took out his Lasso and rode back to Vlad. Vlad fired a second shot, but Attila leaned out of the way. Before he could reload, Attila tossed the rope around Vlad's neck.

Just before the rope was thrown at him, Vlad had grabbed his Halberd from under the table. When the rope tightened around his throat, he was pulled behind Attila's horse, though his neck did not break. Thinking quickly, Vlad cut himself loose from the rope with Halberd. Rolling over on the ground, he took his Hand Cannon from his belt, and fired at Attila's back. He missed, and hit Attila in the shoulder. Though it wasn't fatal, it did knock him from his horse.

Vlad fired another shot, but Attila jumped out of the way, and charged at Vlad with his Scythian Axe. Since he was out of ammo, Vlad charged at Attila while swinging the Hand Cannon like a club. They clashed, and Attila twisted his axe and disarmed Vlad of his cannon, right before he buried his axe blade in Romanian Prince's shoulder. Vlad grunted in pain, then uppercut Attila, sending him stumbling back. Vlad plucked the axe from his shoulder, and examined the blade. Then he grinned insanely and licked his blood from the axe-head. Attila frowned, beginning to see that his oppenent was not mentally stable.

Seeing his opponent would not come to him, Vlad picked up his Halberd and ran at him full speed. Attila drew his Sword of Mars and got ready. Just as Vlad got to him and swung his Halberd down, Attila twirled around it and stabbed Vlad in the side. Vlad cried out and sliced his halberd at the Hun, planning to remove his head. Attila ducked the fatal blow, but the spike on the end left a nasty gash on his forehead.

The two continued to clash over and over, until finally Attila was able to stab Vlad in the arm, forcing him to drop his Halberd. Attila thought he'd won, until Vlad drew his Kilij. Even injured Vlad wielded the blade with great skill. As the two fought sword to sword, it seemed like they were evenly matched.

Finally, Attila rolled under Vlad's wide slash, and lashed out with the Sword of Mars, and nicked the back of Vlad's ankle, bringing him down to one knee. Attila raised his sword and prepared to behead the great Impaler. But Vlad raised his Kilij just in time, deflecting the blade away from him. Then he lashed out and cut Attila across the stomach. As Attila clutched his wound Vlad sliced again, this time removing one of the Hun leader's feet. Now off balanced and severely bleeding, Attila crashed to the ground.

Vlad managed to hobble over Attila, and prepared to deliver the finishing blow, but Attila was not finished yet. Even heavily injured he still had the mind set to stab Vlad when he had an opening. But Vlad moved and the meteorite blade pierced the chain-mail around Vlad's shoulder. Enraged, Vlad sliced Attila's sword arm off at the elbow. Attila countered with a mean left-hook that dazed Vlad and made him drop the Kilij.

This sparked a battle of fists, as the two warriors, now without weapons, beat each other senseless. Eventually, Vlad managed to get his fists around Attila's throat, while Attila concentrated his blows to Vlad's eyes and temple. Their movements slowed, and each warrior was close to blacking out. Both resisted because they knew that if they blacked out first, it would mean the end of them. In the end, the loss of blood got to him, and Attila blacked out first.

Attila was not expecting to awaken, but when he did, he was surprised to see himself in an unfamiliar location. He looked down where his arm once was, surprised to see a tourniquet keeping him from bleeding out. Then he looked around and saw Vlad sitting on a thrown, and knew he was in trouble.

Vlad grinned evilly as his men entered carrying the necessary tools. Attila's eyes widened, and he began to scream and curse Vlad, but what was to come was inevitable.

Soon, the halls of Vlad The Impaler had a knew resident. In the throne room, impaled on a massive spike, was the still bleeding, armless, one-footed body of Attila The Hun. Vlad looked up at the body, and saluted it, before crying out in victory.

Winner: Vlad The Impaler

Vlad The Impaler: 528

Kilij: 296

Halberd: 173

Hand Cannon: 30

Steel Crossbow: 29

Attila The Hun: 472

Composite Bow: 309

Sword Of Mars: 85

Scythian Axe: 64

Sword Of Mars: 85

Lasso: 14

_Narrator: _In this battle, we saw two of history's most sinister figures collide, with the only Vlad the Impaler walking away from it alive.

Dr. Dorian: It is a little surprising that Vlad won, considering the slowness of his weaponry. But I guess this is one of those times when power turned out to be more effective. It looks like that while at long range Attila can beat Vlad, when things get up close and personal, it's all Vlad.

_We see Vlad admiring his latest acquisition, the Sword of Mars tucked into his belt. Vlad grinned, he had to fight more of these bizarre warriors. Warriors with weapons and techniques he was not familiar with. He would find them, and then, he would kill them, before adding their bodies to his abode. With that plan in mind, Vlad left to begin the preparations for his journey. _

**The End. **

**Next Time On Deadliest Warrior: **

Two of the world's most hated enemies collide! Nazi Waffen SS, Adolf Hitler's elite soldiers, determined to bring forth the Third Reich! The Taliban, Religious fanatics, hell-bent on waging a Jihad on any who would oppose them. Two groups of some of the most hated groups on earth. Two radically different philosophies. What will happen, when these two groups collide in an explosive, shoot'em up to the death? Until next time... **  
**


	16. Nazi SS vs Taliban

_Disclaimer: I don't own Deadliest Warrior; but I wish I did. _

**Deadliest Warrior, Chapter 15: Nazi SS vs. Taliban**

_Narrator: _

The Nazi Waffen SS; the fanatical shock troops who lead Adolf Hitler's evil charge for world domination.

_(We see a group of Nazis march down the streets of Germany)._

_Narrator: _

The Taliban; hard lying religious extremist, who back their beliefs with bullets.

_(We see a Taliban cell firing an RPG-7 at a military vehicle). _

**WHO IS DEADLIEST?**

To find out, our world class fighters are testing histories most lethal weapons. Using 21st century science, we'll see what happens when the two warriors go toe to toe. No rules. No safety. No mercy. It's a duel to the death, to decide who is...THE DEADLIEST WARRIOR!

Nazi Waffen SS

Reign of Terror: 1933 - 1945

Height - 6'

Weight - 175 LBS

Allegiance - Adolf Hitler

Taliban

Height - 5' 9"

Weight - 160 LBS

Armor - None

Gear - 20 LBS

_Narrator: _Here at the Fight Club, we're going to pit the weapons of two of the world's greatest evils against one another to see who comes out on top. First, the Adolf Hitler's fanatical shock troops; the Nazi Waffen SS:

Mauser

MP28

Bouncing Betty

Flammenwerfer 41

_Narrator: _Against the fanatical Middle Eastern terrorists; the Taliban:

Bayonet

AK-47

PMN Mine

RPG-7

_Narrator: _We'll start the tests off with a bang as we put the two fanatic group's explosives to the test: the Nazi SS Bouncing Betty, and the Taliban PMN Mine.

Fred carefully buried the Betty mine, the last thing he wanted was to be blown sky high. After the mine was buried, the team placed several dummies around the area. When the team was behind the safety glass, they hit the activation switch. The Betty Mine hopped out of the ground, getting to waist hight before exploding in a deafening blast. The blast ripped the dummies in half. The shrapnel hitting dummies from nearly all distances.

Bob set up the PMN mine not far from where Fred set up his. Like Fred, bodies were placed around, and like Fred, the device was activated when the teams were ready. But unlike Fred's mine, when the PMN went off, it only killed the dummy standing closest to it.

Dr. Dorian: It's clear to me that while the PMN mine has promise, it lacks the explosive power and shrapnel the Nazi mine does. That's why this advantage goes to the Bouncing Betty.

Edge: Nazi SS

_Narrator: _ Next, the groups will pit their long range weapons against the other: The Taliban's AK-47, and the Nazi SS's MP28.

Bob prepared himself for the test. He had to take his AK-47 and charge down a firing range, firing at targets. The only catch was that he would have to fire while the targets were surrounded by a thick smokescreen. Even though it was hard to see, Bob was still pretty sure he hit the first in the face. The second and third targets loomed out of the smoke, and he fired at their chest. The last target was behind a locked door, which he Bob kicked down, and fired straight at the target.

The doctor came and examined the targets. The first had been hit in the nose and chin, with one nicking the cheek. The second and third targets had both taken a few rounds to the chest. The final target had only been hit once, dead center in the chest, an instant kill shot.

Dr. Dorian: Well, that was impressive, and it's going to be tough to beat. The Nazi's had better bring their "A" game.

Fred was not overly worried as he loaded up his MP28. On the signal he also ran through the smokey corridor that Bob had, and fired at the same number of targets. At the final door, he opened it with his shoulder as opposed to his foot, but that was it. Fred stood triumphant as the doctor went to examine the bodies.

The first was a head shot, the second had taken some to the chest. The fourth was hit in the throat, and the fifth had taken half a dozen to the stomach and torso area. But it was the third shot that was of concern to the doctor. What was meant to be a chest shot, had unfortunately gone to the right, hitting the shoulder. The shot was liable to make the person drop their weapon, but it was not a kill shot.

Dr. Dorian: This may be more about skill, and not so much the guns themselves, but the test was to get more kills. The Taliban managed to kill all five in the smoke, and the Nazis didn't simple as that. The long range edge goes to the AK-47.

Edge: Taliban

_Narrator: _From long range to close range, it's time for our competitors to get up close and personal with: The Nazi Mauser against the Taliban' s Bayonet.

Bob stared at the five glass containers he had to shoot, loading his Mauser as he did. Without the smokescreen blurring his vision, Bob's shots flew true, striking each bottle in turn, shattering them.

But Bob had a secret weapon, the automatic feature on his Mauser. He quickly adjusted the weapon while the crew replaced the containers. Then he fired the Mauser again, only now, the gun functioned as an automatic weapon, shattering the glasses in half the time.

Next was Fred, looking none to confidant. He charged a dummy with an AK-47, this one with a Bayonet attached. The bayonet cut deeply into the dummy. Fred sliced upward, easily killing the dummy. But the judges were not impressed.

Dr. Dorian: While I'm sure that the bayonet has some useful applications in battle, but when compared to the Mauser, the differences are clear. Edge to the Mauser.

Edge: Nazi SS

_Narrator: _For our final test, our competitors throw out all the stops, and deliver the most devastating punishment they can with: The Taliban's RPG-7, and the Nazi's Flammenwerfer 41.

Fred had allowed Bob to go first, though Bob wasn't sure why. Bob was standing outside a cave, with some Taliban dummies at the entrance of said cave. When he got the signal, he released a stream of fire. The dummies lit up like candles, the temperature in the cave spiking to over four hundred degrees. Soon, the Taliban dummies, and the surrounding area were not but ash.

Fred grinned as he hefted his RPG on his solider. He pointed the device at a "platoon of Nazi" standing in the demolition field. When he pulled the trigger, it was like the hand of God, as it flew from the barrel. The RPG struck dead center in the Nazi group, before exploding, and vaporizing the whole lot of them.

Dr. Dorian: Man, both of these weapons can cause some major devastation. But I think that if I had to pick one, it would be the RPG-7. It has greater distance, power, and overall killing ability. That's why the special edge goes to the RPG - 7.

Edge: Taliban

_Narrator: _With all the testing complete, Max Geiger uploads the data gathered from the tests into the battle simulation, developed by Slitherine Studio, to simulate a battle to the death between these two warriors. To make sure that victory isn't snatched by a single lucky blow, the battle will be simulated 1000 times. Who will win in this battle of two of the world's most hated enemies? The Nazi SS, who helped Hitler slaughter millions? Or the Taliban, who to this day cause destruction in the name of their God?

Close Range Edge: Nazi Mauser

Long Range Edge: Taliban AK - 47

Explosive Weapon Edge: Nazi Bouncing Betty

Special Weapon Edge: Taliban RPG -7

It's time to find out which warrior is truly the deadliest. Max hits the button on the computer, and suddenly the screen goes "Matrix" on us.

This fight takes place in a war ravaged Europe. The area looks similar to the surroundings of the Green Beret vs. Spetsnaz episode. Cars are abandoned in the street, and many buildings are merely hollow ruins, with only some of them having working utilities.

A Taliban cell sneaks through the seemingly deserted streets, warily of being spotted. Just as they turn down a street, a squad of Nazi SS turn the corner at the opposite end of the street. The two groups spot each other and, seeing how the other group is armed, open fire.

One of the Taliban manages to hit one of the Nazi in the shoulder and chest with his AK - 47 before he ducks for cover in between an old car, and the burnt out shell of a bus. The leader of the Nazi returned fire with his MP28, hitting the Taliban member in the heart. Before he and another Nazi take cover behind the same car as the injured Nazi

**Nazi SS: 5 Taliban: 4**

That was when the Taliban with the RPG-7 peaked out from behind the corner. Aiming his missile launcher, he fired at the injured Nazi, figuring the blast would take out all three.

The Lead Nazi saw him, and warned his men, just as he leapt away from the car, his second in command jumping in the opposite direction. The injured Nazi didn't have the strength though, and braced himself. The missile struck the car and virtually disintegrated it. The explosion rocking the already decimated and crumbling streets. The blast throwing the Nazi into the side of the bus with such force that most of his bones broke. As he laid on the ground, pondering why he had not been killed, he heard an ominous creaking noise. He looked over, to see the bus had been knocked over by the explosion, and was now coming down toward him. He had just enough time to scream before it reached him.

**Nazi SS: 4 Taliban: 4**

With that the groups split up. One Nazi fled into a nearby building, a Taliban member in pursuit. Two Taliban ran off the way they had come, with a Nazi following them. The leader ran back to their control car which was parked in the ally for some supplies, and his lieutenant went after the Taliban with the RPG-7, who had fled into the underground network of tunnels beneath the city.

The Nazi who ran into the building heard the sounds of his pursuer, and ducked into a side room and locked the door. Knowing he didn't have much time, he carefully removed a Bouncing Betty from his jacket pocket, as well as a couple of wires. Acting quickly but carefully, he rigged the shrapnel mine to the door, before ducking behind some ruble.

The Taliban had managed to get to the door, and tried to open it only to find it locked. Thinking that maybe the Nazi was lying in wait for him beyond the door, the Taliban raised his AK-47. He peppered the door with bullets, sure they would kill whoever on the other side, or at least disorient them. He then proceeded to kick the door in. That was when he heard a thump, and saw what looked like a can bounce up to waist height.

Behind the debris, the Nazi heard the sound of bullets pierce the door and ricochet around the room. The next sound was that of the Bouncing Betty blasting a large chunk from the room. When the smoke had cleared, he checked from his hiding spot. The Taliban had been torn apart by the mine. The Nazi grinned evilly before making his way out of the building.

**Nazi SS: 4 Taliban: 3**

The Taliban ran through the tunnels randomly, trying to desperately load his RPG-7 with another rocket, while the Nazi pursuing him took pot shots at him with his Mauser. The Taliban turned down another tunnel, and found himself at a dead end. It looked like a boiler room, with tanks that likely once supplied heat to the building above. He really didn't have time to look around though, as the Nazi finally hit the Taliban somewhere it really counted: his leg. The Taliban fell, his momentum keeping him moving forward so he slid right into a wall. Turning over he revived a shot in the stomach, as the Nazi approached him. The Nazi had a smug look on his face that just made the Taliban's blood boil. Knowing he would likely die from his wounds anyway, the Taliban decided he would not give his enemy the honor of living. Using his remaining strength he fired his RPG-7 toward the ceiling.

"FOR ALLAH!" He cried out as the missile exploded against the ceiling. Inside of the enclosed space of the room, the already crumbling structure, and whatever was left in the old gas heating tanks, combined into a raging blast from which none could escape. Especially not the very surprised Nazi.

**Nazi SS: 3 Taliban: 2**

Meanwhile back with the Taliban who had turned back the way they came . . .

The head Taliban was a natural sprinter, and easily outpaced his companion. Turning the corner, he stopped and took a PMN mine from his pack. He dropped it on the ground and lightly covered it with dirt. He looked back around the corner, and immediately ducked as the Nazi continued to fire shots from his MP28. He saw his partner, who was running more slowly thanks to some shells in shoulders and back. And the Nazi, who was shouting something in German as he fired. The Taliban shouted out a warning to his friend in arabic, to which he received a grateful nod. His friend rounded the corner and jumped over the slightly raised bit of earth. The two then turned and continued running. The Nazi also turned the corner, but since he had not received a warning, he did step on the patch with the PMN mine under it. The mine went off, and the Nazi was blown sky high.

**Nazi SS: 2 Taliban: 2**

The two remaining Taliban stopped in an ally to catch their breaths, when a Nazi practically flew from a nearly invisible door. He punched the Head Taliban to the ground, and knocked the other aside. He drew his Mauser to kill the Taliban cell leader, but suddenly felt a sharp pain in his side. The other Taliban had leapt up and stabbed him with his Bayonet. The Taliban then stabbed upward, toward the Nazi's throat. The Taliban grinned as the life drained from the Nazi's eyes. But his own eyes widened as the Nazi shakily raised his Mauser up. The Taliban tried to shake him off, but he was caught in the Nazi's dying grip on him. The Nazi pointed it at the Taliban's face and, with his last bit of life fired.

**Nazi SS: 1 Taliban: 1**

The Taliban leader was definitely surprised by the turn of events. He had not expected the dying Nazi to actually have enough fight in him to do any real harm. And that thought cost him another man. Shaking his head, the Taliban leader picked up his AK - 47 and continued on through the streets. Soon he came upon the Nazi's car, though it was empty. Checking the area, the leader heard a sudden whoosh sound from around the corner, and an eerie orange light caused the alley to glow. The Taliban realized what was coming at him and turned to run. From around the corner emerged the Nazi cell leader, wearing the Flammenwerfer 41. Seeing his target, the Nazi sprayed a wave of fire down the ally at the fleeing man. The Taliban fired back, but missed, and the wave of fire set his back on fire. Screaming in pain, the Taliban tripped, his gunning spinning from his hands. Shakily he looked up, and saw the Nazi leader walking up to him. The Nazi leader looked down on the burnt Taliban, and he felt no pity. Reading his pack, he cried out "For Deutschland!" and barbecued the Taliban.

**Nazi SS: 1 Taliban: 0**

Winner: Nazi SS

Nazi SS: 565

MP28: 230

Flammenwerfer 41: 145

Bouncing Betty: 100

Mauser: 90

Taliban: 435

AK - 47: 240

RPG - 7: 150

PMN Mine: 25

Bayonet: 20

_Narrator: _In this battle of sinister soldiers, it is the Nazi SS that survive as the top dogs. Though the Taliban were strong in their own right, it just wasn't enough.

Dr. Dorian: Well, it would seem that while the Taliban is good at working in a cell, they just couldn't overcome the better training and weaponry of the Nazi.

_We see the Nazi leader standing over the Taliban leader's burning corpse, crying out "For Deutschland!"_

**The End. **

**Next Time On Deadliest Warrior: **

Two of the strongest groups in DW history come together for an epic clash. The Spartans, the bronze warrior who was already proven to be a formidable force in the games. The Musketeer, the French King's elite guard. Will there black powder weapons be able to undo to legendary strength of the Spartan defense? Until Next Time...**  
**


	17. Spartan vs French Musketeer

_Disclaimer: I don't own Deadliest Warrior; but I wish I did. _

**Deadliest Warrior, Chapter 16: Spartan vs. Musketeer**

_Narrator: _

The Spartan; the battlefield butcher from ancient Greece.

_(We see 300 Spartans forming a shield wall). _

_Narrator: _

Musketeers; the king's ruthless personal guard, and fierce defenders of France's borders.

_(We see a Musketeer pierce an enemies chest with his Rapier)._

**WHO IS DEADLIEST?**

To find out, our world class fighters are testing histories most lethal weapons. Using 21st century science, we'll see what happens when the two warriors go toe to toe. No rules. No safety. No mercy. It's a duel to the death, to decide who is...THE DEADLIEST WARRIOR!

Spartan:

Height: 5' 8"

Weight: 165 LBS

Armor: Bronze

Gear: 60 LBS

French Musketeer

1622 - 1776

Height: 5' 9"

Weight: 160 LBS

Armor: Steel Cuirass

_Narrator: _Here in the Fight Club, we take four weapons used by the ancient Spartan warriors:

Spear

Javelin

Short Sword

Shield

_Narrator: _And see how they compete when put up against the tools of the trade of the King's personal guard, the French Musketeer:

Wheel Lock Pistol

Flintlock Musket

Rapier & Main Gauche

Grenade

_Narrator: _The battle begins with the two warriors striking hard and fast with their mid range weapons: The Spartan Spear, and The Musketeer's Wheel Lock Pistol.

Fred got his Spear ready, preparing to charge the Musketeer dummy. The dummy was wearing classic French Musketeer armor, more specifically, the breast-plate. He charged the thing, his first thrust going through the face, obliterating it. Then came the moment of truth. He thrust the spear at the chest-plate . . . only to have the spear tip actually bend, as opposed to piercing the armor. Fred pulled back disappointed. Even though the spear was decidedly deadly, the fact that it couldn't penetrate the armor was a major blow. The only hop for the them getting the mid-range edge now was to hope that the other team did even worse.

Bob came up with the Wheel Lock Pistol cocked and ready. His dummy was wearing Spartan armor set and helmet. He prepared to fire at the chest plate, but when he pulled the trigger, the only thing that happened was a slight 'click' noise. The gun had suffered a misfire. After a few minutes, he had fixed the gun and prepared to fire again. The second time around the gun did fire, hitting the armor right in the chest. When the doctor went to examine the armor, he found that while the bullet had struck the armor dead center, it did not pierce the armor.

Dr. Dorian: While neither one of these managed to pierce the other's armor, I think that their are factors we can still take under consideration. Mostly, though the spear may not pierce the Musketeer armor, it can still be used to great effect on the unprotected parts of the body. The pistol on the other hand, while possibly being effective on unarmored body-parts, it also jams. For that reason, I'm picking the spear because it cannot jam.

Edge: Spartan

_Narrator: _Now the two warriors will take aim at each other with their deadly long range weaponry: The Musketeer's Flintlock Musket, against the Spartan Javelin.

Bob prepared the musket. The musket took a very long time to load with ammo, something the judges took into account. He took aim at a Spartan dummy, aiming dead center at his chest plate. With a bang, the bullet flew true, and struck the bronze armor. When the doctor went to inspect the shot, surprise! The bullet had managed to break through. And due to the location of the shot, it was a guaranteed kill.

Fred came next, holding a Javelin loosely in his hand. Taking the proper stance he hurls the javelin with all his might . . . only for it to bounce harmlessly off the Musketeer armor. Frustrated, he takes a second javelin and chucks it just a bit harder. By either luck or skill, the javelin hits the dummy in the face, puncturing a decent sized hole in it (though the javelin is only slightly in there, and quickly falls out on its own).

Dr. Dorian: Well, this time the answer is clear. For range, and the ability to pierce the Spartan armor, the Long Range Edge goes to the Flintlock Musket.

Edge: Musketeer

_Narrator: _Now our two warriors will clash sword to sword with their short range weapons: The Spartan Short Sword and the Musketeer's Rapier & Main Gauche.

Bob was determined to win this round, and charged his dummy with a blind fury. With a single swing he lopped off the dummies arm, and then proceeded to stab it in the heart. Before decapitating it.

Dr. Dorian: Well, it may not be pretty, but the short sword gets the job done petty well. I'd like to see if the Musketeer can match him.

Fred took a proper stance with his Rapier in one hand, and his Main Gauche in the other. Then he reared back his arm and stabbed the dummy in the face with the Rapier. He proceeded to stab the dummy four times in the next three seconds. He finished it all off by stabbing the dummy in the throat with the Main Gauche.

Dr. Dorian: Well, I think I can appreciate the things that the Rapier & Main Gauche bring to the table. The thin sword and dagger should be able to work into the kinks and crevices of the Spartan armor. The Rapier is also much more flexible and easier to handle. That combined with its longer reach gives the Rapier & Main Gauche the short range edge.

Edge: Musketeer

_Narrator: _The final test has come, and in it we will see which warrior possesses the better special weapon: The Musketeer's Grenade, and the infamous Spartan Shield.

This test was going to a special joint test. Individually, the shield and grenade had already proven themselves deadly to dummies. The spartan shield especially has well known on the DW. But the crew was curious, would the shield be able to protect a Spartan from the fury of a black powder grenade?

Fred glared at the Spartan shield. Standing behind the shield was a dummy in Spartan garb. Fred lit the fuse and hurled it at the shield. It bounced against it and landed right in front of it. Then it exploded with a large boom! The force of the explosion kicked up a large cloud of dust, and when the dust settled, the team saw . . . nothing. The shield had a pretty big dent in it, but other then that nothing really noticeable. The computers said that the Spartan likely had a broken arm, and may be stunned, but that wasn't saying much considering that Fred had just thrown a GRENADE! It was possible that the shockwave could kill the Spartan, but that was also just a possibility.

Dr. Dorian: I can't believe that the Spartan Shield did it again. First the Ninjas' Kusarigama, then the Samurai's Kanabo, and now the Musketeer's Grenade! Can nothing break this thing? I guess we'll just have to give the special weapon edge to the Spartan Shield, for being able to take pretty much anything we throw at it.

Edge: Spartan

_Narrator: _With all the testing complete, Max Geiger uploads the data gathered from the tests into the battle simulation, developed by Slitherine Studio, to simulate a battle to the death between these two warriors. To make sure that victory isn't snatched by a single lucky blow, the battle will be simulated 1000 times. Who will win in this battle of some of histories strongest warriors? The Spartans, whose teamwork and skill allowed them to butcher their way through hundreds of Persians? Or the French Musketeer, who defended France and it's King, and were ruthless masters of their trade?

Close Range Edge: Musketeer Rapier & Main Gauche

Mid Range Edge: Spartan Spear

Long Range Edge: Musketeer Flintlock Musket

Special Weapon Edge: Spartan Shield

It's time to find out which warrior is truly the deadliest. Max hits the button on the computer, and suddenly the screen goes "Matrix" on us.

This fight takes place just outside a forest. A group of Musketeer's emerge from the forest, looking around. They see a group of Spartan warriors coming down the forest path. The two groups see each other, and eye the others wearily. Finally the head Spartan nods to his men, and screams out an order. The Spartan's form a shield wall and charge at the Musketeer's. The Musketeer's respond by pointing their Muskets at the charging group. Though the five of them fire at once, some of the shots miss, or are deflected off the Spartan Shield. However, one Spartan has the misfortune to be hit right in the throat. He gives a startled grunt before falling flat on his face. Knowing they would not have time to reload their weapons, the Musketeer's decided they would regroup in the forest.

**Spartan: 4 Musketeer: 5**

As they turned to run, a Spartan hurled a Javelin at their retreating forms. Though the Javelin didn't kill any of them, it did hit one of the Musketeer's in the back of the leg, sending him sprawling to the ground. He was unable to crawl to the safety of the trees as the Spartans reached him. Most of them just ran over him, injuring him further. But the Spartan who threw the Javelin stayed. The Musketeer crawled backwards while drawing his Wheel Lock Pistol, while the Spartan readied his Spear. The Spartan stopped at the sight of the Pistol, unsure as to what it was. The Musketeer smirked, and pulled the trigger. But the only thing that came out was small 'click' as the gun misfired. The Musketeer looked at his pistol horrified, just as the Spartan drove his Spear through the Musketeer's throat.

**Spartan: 4 Musketeer: 4**

The Spartans ran through the forest searching for the Musketeers. Deciding they would cover more ground apart, the split up into teams, one with two people, the other with three.

As the two man team wandered the forest, a Musketeer leaned out from behind a tree that was behind the Spartans. Readying his Musket he hollered at the Spartans. When they turned around, he shot one of them right through the face plate in the helmet, killing instantly.

**Spartan: 3 Musketeer: 4**

Furious, the other Spartan charged him with surprising speed. Unable to draw his sword in time, the Musketeer swung his Musket like a club at the Spartan, only to have it break against the Spartan Shield.

The Spartan then knocked the Frenchman to the ground; banging his head against a tree root and knocking him out. The Spartan then prepared to stab him with his Short Sword. But before he could, something hit him in the back of the shoulder. He turned around and saw another Musketeer holding a smoking Pistol. Annoyed, he stabbed the Short Sword into the tree, took a Javelin from his belt, and chucked it at his assailant. The Musketeer leaned out of the way and fired another two Wheel Lock Pistol at the Spartan, one hitting him in the chest, put not penetrating his armor. The other hit the same arm as the initial shot, just above the elbow. The Spartan grunted in pain, as the damage to his arm made him drop his shield. The Musketeer suddenly grinned and turned and fled to the forest growth. The Spartan, confused looked back at the unconscious Musketeer only to find him gone, with a grenade in his place. The Spartan turned to run, but it was too late. The Grenade went off, and without the protection of his Shield, he was blasted backwards into a tree, breaking his neck.

**Spartan: 2 Musketeer: 4**

A Musketeer walked through the woods, keeping an eye out for any Spartans. Meanwhile behind him, one of those Spartans was sneaking up behind him. Just as the Spartan reared back his Spear to impale the Musketeer, his foot snapped a branch, and the Musketeer spun around. The Spear grazed his steel armor, leaving only a scratch. The Spartan tried a follow up with a side-swipe with his shield, but the Musketeer ducked under the attack and stabbed the offending arm with his Main Gauche. The Spartan cried out as he let the Shield go and drew back his arm. The Musketeer tried to stab him in the neck with the dagger, but the Spartan caught his arm mid swing. The Frenchman raised his Rapier, but the Spartan reared his head back and smashed his head into the French Guard. The blow struck so hard it dazed the Musketeer just for a moment, which was all the Spartan needed. When he grabbed the back of the Musketeer's head and slammed it into his armored knee, he dropped his Rapier sword. And when the Spartan smashed his head into a nearby tree, it was clear that the Musketeer was only barely holding on to consciousness. Before the Musketeer could fall backwards to the ground, the Spartan caught him by his steel breastplate. The Musketeer could do nothing, even as the Spartan drew his Short Sword from his belt. With one quick slash, the Spartan had decapitated the Musketeer.

**Spartan: 2 Musketeer: 3**

In another part of the forest, a Spartan had managed to get the drop on a Musketeer, and now both were engaged in battle. The Spartan would stab with his Spear, and the Musketeer would parry with his Rapier. Finally the Spartan spun a full 360 degrees, and attempted to smash the Spear in to the Musketeer's side. The Musketeer however, countered with an upwards slice that severed the Spearhead from the shaft. However, the Musketeer wasn't able to avoid the Shield to the chin, which cracked the Musketeer's jawbone. As he lay on the ground, nursing his sore jaw, he quickly had to roll out of the way as the Spartan went to bring his Sword down on his throat. Acting quickly, the Musketeer took his Main Gauche and stabbed through the he Spartan's armpit. With no armor there to shield him, the blade went in easily, and pierced the heart. The Spartan's body gave a slight jerk, before it went slack.

**Spartan: 1 Musketeer: 3**

The Musketeer stood up and laughed in victory. But then he heard a roaring battle call and turned, just as a Short Sword severed his Rapier arm, and the Spartan Shield smashed the side of his face. The Musketeer looked up at his assailant with one bloodshot eye, and saw the grim face of the Spartan Commander. That was the last thing he saw, as the Spartan Commander brought his Shield down, and crushed his throat.

**Spartan: 1 Musketeer: 2**

Suddenly, the Head French Musketeer stepped from the Shadows, his Rapier draw, his body in a dueling stance. The Spartan faced him in a stance of his own, Short Sword at the ready. The two leaders charged each and began a duel to the death. The two seemed evenly matched, trading blow for blow. Then the Musketeer attempted a disarming maneuver; and though it didn't make the Spartan lose his sword, it did give the Musketeer an opening. He slashed upward with his Rapier, hoping to put it through the opening in the Spartan Leader's helmet. However, the move only worked partially, as the Spartan leaned back in an attempt to avoid the technique, so he didn't die. However, the great length of the Rapier proved its worth, as the point traced up the Spartan's face, and nicked his eye.

Roaring out in pain, the Spartan stabbed blindly and hit the Musketeer in the shoulder. The unlucky Frenchman had no time to avoid the berserker Spartan's shield as it crashed into his side and sent him tumbling backwards to the ground.

The Spartan suddenly heard yelling in French, and looked in the direction of the voice. It was another Musketeer, looking very angry at the death of his comrades, and the injuries dealt to his leader, and started firing with his Wheel Lock Pistols. The two bullets bounced off the Spartan Shield, however as he started to charge at him. The Musketeer drew his Flintlock Musket, but had no time to fire as the Spartan charged him, now favoring the Spartan Spear rather then his Sword. The Musketeer rolled out of the way to prevent himself from being impaled. Holding the Musket tightly, and fearing for his life, he pointed it at the Spartan and fired it blindly. He heard a choked gasp, and looked at the Spartan. By some incredible luck, he had managed to hit the one part of the Spartan that wasn't armored below the belt. The Spartan leaned heavily against the tree, in incredible agony. That agony turned to anger, as he lashed out and picked up the Musketeer and slammed him into a tree. He unsheathed his Short Sword, and while he briefly considered returning the painful favor to the Frenchman, he prepared to strike. But just as he was about to stab the French guard to death, he heard a shrill whistle. Groaning, the Spartan turned to look at the source . . .

To see the Musketeer Commander, who despite being slightly banged up, fire a Wheel Lock Pistol at close range. The finicky pistol actually fired, and at such close range, the Musketeer couldn't miss the large open slot in the Spartan's helmet that showed his face. The bullet hit dead center, and the Spartan Leader fell backwards dead.

Helping his comrade up, the two removed their hats and cheered: "Vive le Roi!" (Long live the King).

**Winner: French Musketeer**

French Musketeer: 510

Flintlock Musket: 225

Rapier & Main Gauche: 145

Wheel Lock Pistol: 125

Grenade: 15

Spartan: 490

Shield: 302

Spear: 170

Short Sword: 12

Javelin: 6

_Narrator: _In this climactic battle between two of the fiercest warriors known to man, the French Musketeers proved their mettle, and came out the victors over the Spartans.

Dr. Dorian: Well, I will say that it was a very close call. The Spartan shield is not to be taken lightly by any means. But I think the Musketeers pulled it off because, like we saw with the Pirate versus the Knight, sometimes having a poor quality gun can be better then having no gun at all. And despite having archaic firearms by today's standards, these guys were the best in their fields, just like the Spartans were the best in theirs. Both are good at what they do, but today, the Musketeers showed that they were better.

_We see the Musketeers bandaging up their, wounds. As they make their way back to base, the Head Musketeer takes the Spartan Commanders Shield, planning to paint it in a much more pleasing Fleur De Lis. _

**The End. **

**Next Time On Deadliest Warrior: **

A Battle of Natives the likes of which never happened in real life! The Apache's, America's natives, the fierce scalp takers of the Pioneering age. The Zande Warrior, Africa's tough tribal fighters, a terrifying group of elite warriors! Who Will Win? Until Next Time...**  
**


	18. Zande Warriori vs Apache

_Disclaimer: I don't own Deadliest Warrior; but I wish I did. _

**Deadliest Warrior, Chapter 17: Zande Warrior vs. Apache**

_Narrator: _

A Zande Tribal Fighter; ferocious barbarian of Central Africa.

_(We see a group of Zandes charging rival tribe). _

_Narrator: _

The Apache, the fierce, scalp-taking master of death.

_(We see an Apache clubbing a settler in the head). _

**WHO IS DEADLIEST?**

To find out, our world class fighters are testing histories most lethal weapons. Using 21st century science, we'll see what happens when the two warriors go toe to toe. No rules. No safety. No mercy. It's a duel to the death, to decide who is...THE DEADLIEST WARRIOR!

Zande Warrior

Year - 1820

Height - 5' 9"

Weight - 170 LBS

Armor - Wicker Shield

Apache:

Height: 5' 7"

Weight: 140 LBS

Armor: None

Gear: 10 LBS

_Narrator: _Here in the Fight Club, we take four weapons used by the tribal Zande fighters:

Kpinga

Makrigga

Botto & Pima

Makraka

_Narrator: _And pit them against the tools of the trade of the scalp taking Apaches:

Bow & Arrow

Tomahawk

Club

Knives

_Narrator: _We begin our battle with the two warriors blasting at long range: the Zande Kpinga, and the Apache Bow & Arrow.

Fred took the Kpinga, trying to get himself used to such an odd looking weapon. When he was ready, he hurled the weapon toward the dummies. The weapon made a humming sound as it tore through the air, striking the dummy in such a way, that two of the three blades buried up to the . . . hilt.

Dr. Dorian: Well, it certainly seems aerodynamic, and it's killing potential is astounding. I'm curious if the Apache's Bow will be able to out shine it.

And Bob was determined to do just that. He steadied himself, drawing back the bowstring and aiming his arrow. He took a breath . . . and fired! The bow flew through the air, flying twice the length of the Kpinga, and striking his target dummy right in the forehead. Bob, who wanted to drive his skills home, shot two more arrows: one striking the throat, the last hitting the heart.

Dr. Dorian: Okay Bob, you made your point! Put the Bow down! Okay, since the Bow has greater range and accuracy, the long range edge goes to the Bow & Arrow.

Edge: Apache

_Narrator: _For our next test, the two warriors get closer, with their Mid Range Weapons: The Apache Tomahawk, and the Zande Makrigga.

Bob, still still flying high from his recent success in the Long Range Test, casually picked up his Tomahawk, and strolled toward his dummy. But just has he got within range, his whole demeanor changed. Giving a fearsome war cry, he introduced the indian axe to the back of the dummy's head. This, in turn, released a torrent of skull fragments and brain matter, as the head was demolished.

But Fred looked rather nonplussed, and simply came at his dummy with his Makrigga spear. As he reached it he decided to go ahead and give an imitation of the Zande war cry. It wasn't very impressive, but what did impress the team was what happened next. The hooked spear tore right through the dummy, and when Fred yanked back, the spear brought the intestines with it. What resulted was the slimy insides getting stuck to the Makrigga, with Fred having a somewhat difficult time removing them without making a bigger mess.

Dr. Dorian: Yes, well. The Tomahawk is impressive, when we consider what it can do, despite the materials that make it up. The Makrigga on the other hand, is downright scary. I would hate to have to attempt to heal someone stabbed by this thing. It has a longer reach, the blade is sharper, and the damage all the more lethal. The Mid Range Edge goes to the Makrigga

Edge: Zande

_Narrator: _For the third test, our warriors clash head to head with their Close Range Weapons: The Zande Makraka and the Apache Knives.

Bob tossed the knife in his hand up and caught it. When he caught it he flicked the Knife at a target shaped like a human, hitting it in the chest. He did the same thing three more times, all in seconds. Taking his last Knife, he rushed a dummy and stabbed it repeatedly. When he was through, he walked away, turned around and tossed the knife through it's skull.

Dr. Dorian: The sheer speed at which these Knives can be used is astounding. That's going to be tuff to beat.

But that wouldn't stop Fred from trying. To demonstrate his Makraka, he had the DW team string up a dummy by it's neck. Then Fred got behind the dummy, lined up his knife, and with a single swing; decapitated the dummy.

Dr. Dorian: Well, that was a pretty clean cut, and the Makraka has a long range. However, the knives have greater versatility, and can be thrown. So, while it's a tough choice, I'm gonna give the close range edge to the Knives.

Edge: Apache

_Narrator: _For our final test, the two warriors break out their special weapons: The Apache War Club, and the Zande Botto & Pima

Fred carefully dipped the arrows in the poison solution, before aiming at a dummy in Apache clothes. After a couple of shots, (one hitting between the eyes, the other in the throat) something became clear to the DW crew. While the Botto lacked the range of the Apache's bow & arrows, they were just as accurate. The fact that the Apache wore no armor to speak of, and that being hit by one of these arrows was likely to be fatal, also said somethings to them.

Dr. Dorian: Well that's impressive, both the accuracy and the speed at which this poison will kill you, it just seems like the special weapons edge will go -

Bob: Hey! I haven't had my turn yet!

Bob was annoyed that everyone was already calling this category. He walked up to a skull in a huff, and with single swing, smashed the skull to dust.

Dr. Dorian: Well, Bob, while I will concede that that was an impressive display of strength, my choice is the same. There is no guarantee that a hit from the War Club will kill you. But if you get hit by this poison arrow, you'll die. Special Weapons Edge goes to the Botto & Pima.

Edge: Zande

_Narrator: _With all the testing complete, Max Geiger uploads the data gathered from the tests into the battle simulation, developed by Slitherine Studio, to simulate a battle to the death between these two warriors. To make sure that victory isn't snatched by a single lucky blow, the battle will be simulated 1000 times. Who will win in this battle of Natives. The Apache, swift master of death from America? Or the Zande, the fierce tribal fighter of Africa?

Close Range Edge: Apache Knives

Mid Range Edge: Zande Makrigga

Long Range Edge: Apache Bow & Arrow

Special Weapon Edge: Zande Botto & Pima

It's time to find out which warrior is truly the deadliest. Max hits the button on the computer, and suddenly the screen goes "Matrix" on us.

This fight takes place in a deeply wooded forest. An Apache was walking through the woods, gathering supplies for his people. Suddenly the air was filled with a strange chanting. Deciding to investigate, the Apache made his way toward the sound. But then all of a sudden it stopped. The Apache peered around a tree . . . only for an arrow from the Botto & Pima to bury itself in the wood, right next to his head. The Apache followed the weapons flight path back to it's owner, and saw a Zande staring back at him.

The Zande reared back his head and screamed "NIM-NIM!" causing birds to take flight from nearby trees in fright. The Apache responded by firing an Arrow of his own at the Zande, only for the Zande to lean out of the way. The Zande fired another poisoned arrow, but the Apache just ducked. Deciding to change tactics, the Zande put his Botto & Pima down and picked up his shield and Kpinga. The Apache stuck with his Bow & Arrows, and fired another shot, only to have it block with his Shield. The Zande threw Kpinga which the Apache did his best to avoid. However, he had misjudged its flight path, and got a nasty cut on his shoulder because of it. That cut made him jerk, throwing off his next shot with his Bow. The arrow flew to high, and merely ruffled the Zande's head plumage. That was when the Zande picked up his Makrigga spear and charged the Apache. The Apache's response was to turn and run back into the woods.

The Apache didn't get far, as he had to roll out of the way of a thrown Makrigga. The Apache rolled over and quickly threw a Knife at the Zande to halt his advance. The Zande tried to block with his shield, but the Knife ended up piercing both the shield, and his arm. Crying out, the Zande threw down his shield, and picked his Makrigga back up. He and the Apache circled each other cautiously.

The Apache, who had taken out his two Tomahawks, made the first move, charging the taller Zande. His first Tomahawk was blocked, as the Zande used his spear as a make-shift shield. The Zande stabbed with his spear, but the Tomahawk deflected slightly, so what should have been a killing blow, was only a painful arm wound. Before the Zande could draw the Makrigga back, the Apache took his second Tomahawk and split the Makrigga in two. The split second of shock the African felt, was enough to allow a the Native American to score a glancing blow on the Zande's chest. Before he could do more damage, the Zande took what was left of his Makrigga and smashed it across the Apache's face, before brining it down on his shoulder. The Apache fell, back, dropping a Tomahawk form the sheer force of the blow.

Seeing the Apache on the ground, the Zande took out his Makraka. With only one Tomahawk left, the Apache took his War Club from his belt and rose to defend himself. The Zande slashed with his Makraka, with the Apache trying to block with his Tomahawk like he had done with the Makrigga. Unfortunately for the Apache, the Makraka blade sliced his axe handle, and gouged a wound across his chest. The Apache gasped in pain as his War Club smashed into the Zande's opposite arm, breaking it.

The Zande slashed his Makraka again, this time managing to hit the Apache in the arm, drawing blood, before kicking him in the stomach, sending him sprawling to the ground. The Zande quickly leaped at him, planning to end the fight.

The Zande pinned the Apache's club arm, and sent his Makraka on a one way trip to the his face. The Apache managed to catch the arm, but it was still slowly coming down on him. Using the last of his strength, the Apache pushed the arm off course, the Makraka landing just beside his head.

The unexpected move caused the Zande to slip off balance, freeing the Apache's other hand. The Apache quickly lashed out with the War Club, striking the Zande in the chin, before backhanding him in the cheek. To finish it off, he pushed him off his chest with a quick kick to the stomach.

The Zande fell back, taking the Makraka with him. He tried to push himself back up and raise the knife, but the Apache acted first. He took a Knife he had on his belt and tossed it at the Zande's knee. The Knife went up to the hilt, making the Zande fall into a kneeling position. The Apache then took his last Knife, which he had hidden in his boot, and threw it at the wrist holding the Makraka. The Zande cried out as he dropped his weapon. He tried to pick it up, but the Apache had kicked it away. Holding his bleeding wrist, the Zande looked up at the Apache, who was now holding the War Club in both hands. The Apache slowly walked behind the Zande, then, uttering a fierce war cry, slammed the Club into the side of the Zande's head. The force crushes the Zande's skull, sending the dead warrior sprawling across the forest floor.

Looking down at his weapon, the Apache licks the blood from his club, before rearing back and screaming in victory. When he was done, he turns and runs off into the forest, leaving only the Dead Zande behind.

Winner: Apache

Apache: 557

Knives: 240

Bow & Arrow: 160

Tomahawk: 125

Club: 32

Zande: 443

Makrigga: 230

Kpinga: 100

Makraka: 63

Botto & Pima: 50

_Narrator: _In this battle between some of the strongest Natives their respective countries had to offer, it was the Apache, who managed to slice his way to victory. Even with the Zande's impressive Makrigga and Kpinga, the Apache still managed to triumph with his Knives and Bow & Arrow.

Dr. Dorian: It seems like the Mid Range weapons were the big decider here today. Even though the Makrigga is absurdly lethal, it just lacks the versatility that the Knives do. The can be throw or used in close quarters combat. Combined with the fact that the Tomahawks share this quality, it shouldn't be too surprising that the Apache's managed a win.

_We see the Apache back at his village, showing off the Makraka he'd taken as a trophy to his people. The people gather around to here his tale of the strange warrior he'd fought in the forest. _

**The End. **

**Next Time On Deadliest Warrior: **

Worlds collide on the next DW! The Celt, Highlander warrior of Scotland takes on the Comanche, a master of combat on and off the saddle. Will the Celt's strength be enough to net him victory? Will the Comanche's lack of armor come back to haunt him? Find out next time! Until then...**  
**


	19. Celt vs Comanche

_Disclaimer: I don't own Deadliest Warrior; but I wish I did. _

**Deadliest Warrior, Chapter 18: Celt vs. Comanche**

_Narrator: _

A Celt; the savage war loving barbarian from 400 BC, who dominated Europe through brute force and raw fighting skills.

(_We see a Celt running into battle and decapitating an enemy with his sword_).

_Narrator: _

The Comanche; the born in the saddle killers, who terrorized the 18th century american plains.

_(We see a Comanche kill a settler and scalp him)._

**WHO IS DEADLIEST?**

To find out, our world class fighters are testing histories most lethal weapons. Using 21st century science, we'll see what happens when the two warriors go toe to toe. No rules. No safety. No mercy. It's a duel to the death, to decide who is...THE DEADLIEST WARRIOR!

Celt

Year: 400 BC

Height: 6'

Weight: 180 LBS

Armor: Leather & Wooden Shield

Comanche

Circa 1840

Height: 5' 9"

Weight: 145 LBS

Armor: Buffalo Hide Shield & Bone Armor

_Narrator: _Here at the Fight Club, we take four weapons used by the savage Celts:

Long Sword

Lancea

Sling

Burda Club

_Narrator: _and see how they fare against the weapons used by the Comanche:

War Hawk Club

War Lance

Bow & Arrow

Scalping Knife

_Narrator: _For our first test, these two warriors will lock heads in close range combat with: The Celtic Long Sword, and the Comanche War Hawk Club.

Fred confidently took his Long Sword and approached the hapless dummy. Twirling it like a pro, he swung his sword at the effigy's head. The blade cut through the flesh and bone like a hot knife through butter. The head fell to the ground with a plop, and rolled away.

Next was Bob, holding a War Hawk. Giving a mighty swing, he buried the spike points into the neck of the dummy. He pulled them out with a sickening, squelch, before bashing the dummy again and again. Soon the dummy was riddled with holes.

Dr. Dorian: Well, both of these weapons are very effective. The War Hawk seems to have some especially devastating effects on the body. However, since the Celtic Long Sword managed a decapitation in a single swing, I'm giving the Close Range Edge to the Long Sword.

Edge: Celt

_Narrator: _Now it's time for our warriors to saddle up, as they get ready to test out their mid-range weapons: The Comanche War Lance, and the Celtic Lancea.

Bob got in the saddle, holding the War Lance loosely in his hand. His test was to ride around twice, and stab a celtic dummy twice. Once in the armored belt, another in a non-armored location. This way they could get a sense of how much damage the War Lance did, and how much the Celt's limited armor could defend against.

Bob rode off at top speed, aiming the lance at the dummy's chest. Just as he was about to pass, he stabbed the right in the heart, leaving a large, bleeding puncture wound. Sure he had done his first task successfully, he road around for the next strike. Like before, he slammed the the Lance into the body. But this time he aimed for the armor-style belt the Celt wore. The blade of the Lance, but Bob could feel that it wasn't as deep as is first.

Dr. Dorian: Well, the first shot is an instant kill, no doubt. This second shot, while at first seemingly non-lethal, actually is. While the wound isn't as deep, it will kill the Celt. It won't be instant, but pretty close. The War Lance will be hard to beat.

Of course, Fred was certainly willing to try. Readying his chariot, Fred snapped the reins and was off. Readying his Lancea, he speared the Comanche right through the head, before heading back to the starting zone. Because the Comanche had no armor, a second run wasn't required.

Dr. Dorian: Well, it's close, but I think I like the War Lance better. In terms of use, the Comanche is faster, and he can pierce the limited armor of the Celt. And that counts for a lot. My vote goes to the War Lance.

Edge: Comanche

_Narrator: _Now it's time to take a step back, as our warriors take aim with their Long Range Weapons: The Celtic Sling, and the Comanche Bow & Arrow.

Fred spun the Sling over his head, before tossing the stone at a skull. The Skull got a dent and some cracks on it; but the Doctor confirmed that it was not an instant kill. Fred then shot the stone at some other bones, including leg and arm bones. These bones were snapped in half by the weight of the stone.

Bob on the other hand stood much farther away from his target. Prep-ing his bow, he fired off several shots, all hitting various areas of the chest and head region. These, the Doctor confirmed were all kills.

Dr. Dorian: Well, this isn't much of a surprise, the Bows tend to do better then Slings, and now is no exception. The Long Range Edge goes to the Bow & Arrow.

Edge: Comanche.

_Narrator: _For the final test, the warriors bring out their special weapons: The Comanche Scalping Knife and the Celtic Burda Club.

Bob's gel torso was placed lying down. It was different then other dummy's, in that it had a full head of hair. Placing his Knife on the scalp, he made some quick cuts, and soon, had the top of the dummy's head in his hand.

Fred's test wasn't nearly so dramatic. His target was a human skull on a test table. In two steps, Fred was standing over the skull. Giving a quick war cry, Fred smashed the skull to bits.

Dr. Dorian: I have to say, I actually like the Burda Club more. The length is longer, and it can do a great deal more damage. So for special weapons, I give the edge to the Burda Club.

Edge: Celt.

_Narrator: _With all the testing complete, Max Geiger uploads the data gathered from the tests into the battle simulation, developed by Slitherine Studio, to simulate a battle to the death between these two warriors. To make sure that victory isn't snatched by a single lucky blow, the battle will be simulated 1000 times. Who will win in this battle of opposites? The fierce Celt? Or the fast Comanche? Steel or Nature?

Short Range Edge: Celtic Long Sword

Mid Range Edge: Comanche War Lance

Long Range Edge: Comanche Bow & Arrow

Special Weapon Edge: Celtic Burda Club

It's time to find out which warrior is truly the deadliest. Max hits the button on the computer, and suddenly the screen goes "Matrix" on us.

This story starts on a grassy plain parallel to a forest grove; where the two Celts are driving their chariot across the plains. Suddenly, out of the forest, a Comanche burst out on horseback, Bow & Arrows drawn. The Comanche fired an Arrow at the Celt, one of them ducking to avoid the shot while picking up a Sling and shield. The chariot driver had no time to react as the Arrow pierced his neck. He fell backwards off the chariot, and the horses went out of control. The other Celt had to quickly grab the reins and steer the horses to the center of the field, slowing them to a stop.

The Comanche had followed and proceeded to rain arrows down on the Celt. The Celt blocked most with his shield and dodged the rest. Spinning his Sling, he hurled a stone at the Comanche, only for the Comanche to duck as the rock sailed past. The second stone missed the Native, but struck the horse in the flank. The Comanche reared around and charged at the Celt for another pass. Just as he drew the Bowstring back, the Celt got lucky. The stone from the Sling struck the Comanche's hand, causing him to reflexively jerk his hands back, dropping the Bow & Arrow.

Annoyed the Comanche took his War Lance and charged strait at the Celt. Seeing this, the Celt dropped his Sling, and picked up his Lancea.

Soon the two warriors were in range of each other's attacks, when multiple things all happen in rapid succession: The Celt placed his shield in front of him to protect him from the War Lance, while he jabbed his Lancea at the Comanche. At the same time, the Comanche sent his War Lance through the Celt's shield, while also leaning back to avoid the Lancea.

When he saw the War Lance pierce his shield, the Celt jerked the shield away from his body. However, this happened before the War Lance was taken out. This resulted in the Comanche, who was already somewhat off balance as a result of dodging the Lancea, to be pulled off of his horse and fall to the ground. As he landed, he managed to pull the War Lance with him as he rolled out of the way as the Celt tried to bring the Lancea down on him. Deciding to change tactics, the Celt threw down his Lancea, and proudly drew his Long Sword.

The Comanche had to doge again, as the Celt was intent to separate his head from his shoulders, but this time he was better prepared. As he moved away from the swing, he lashed out with his Lance. His War Lance managed to pierce the shield, and strike the Celt in the side of his armor-belt. The Celt howled out as his side was cut. Though the wound was non-lethal, he was still angry. Rearing back he swung his Long Sword down and split the War Lance in two before it could be taken back.

The Comanche stumbled back and took out his War Hawk and Scalping Knife. The Celt, noticing his shield is full of holes, throws it down, and takes out his Burda Club instead. The two warriors lightly engage one another, locking, and backing away, each looking for a weak point. Suddenly the Comanche strikes and, managing to avoid the Celt swing with the Burda, stabs the arm holding the Long Sword with the Scalping Knife. The Celt drops it in pain, and tries to crush the Comanche's head with his Club. The Comanche twists out of the way, ending up slightly behind the Celt. Taking advantage of this he swings his War Hawk at the Celt's exposed back. But the Celt manages to avoid the worst of it, as the War Hawk buries itself in the back of his thick armor-belt. As the Celt twists away, the War Hawk comes from the Comanche's hands, and stays stuck in the back of the belt, leaving him with only his Scalping Knife.

The Celt lunges with his club, and the Comanche only just manages to catch his arm mid-swing. He tries to stab the Celt, but the Celt grabs his wrist. The two stand there, locked in combat, when the Comanche tries something unexpected. He head-butts the Celt with all his might. Both warriors stumble away from each other, holding their heads.

Fighting through the pain, the Comanche throws the Knife at the Celt, striking him in the shoulder. As the Celt goes to remove the blade, the Comanche tackles him to the ground, screaming a war chant. The Celt falls with his face to the ground, allowing the Comanche to get his War Hawk. Pulling it free from the belt, he goes to slam it into the Celt's neck. But the Celt rolls over and strikes the Comanche in the side of the knee with his Burda Club, stopping the strike, and sending the Comanche to his good knee. The Celt turns and sees his Lancea nearby. He turns to run to it, but the Comanche returns the wound from the Burda Club by hitting the Celt in the leg with the War Hawk. The Scotsman stumbles and falls, landing almost in arms reach of his Lancea.

The Comanche makes it up and limps to the Celt to finish him off, when suddenly the Celt rolls over, Lancea in hand and spears the Comanche right though his chest. The Comanche stops dead in his tracks, blood pooling from his wound. He looks at the Celt surprised, before falling over dead.

Standing up, the Celt fetches his Long Sword and performs a ritual well known to his people. Grabbing the Comanche by the hair, he pulls the dead man up slightly. Then with a quick swing, severed the indians head from his shoulders. The deed done, the Celt reared his head back and screamed in victory!

Winner: Celt!

Celt: 609

Long Sword: 294

Burda Club: 140

Lancea: 125

Sling: 50

Comanche: 391

Bow & Arrows: 137

War Lance: 134

War Hawk: 118

Scalping Knife: 2

_Narrator: _In this fierce battle of opposites, it was the Celt who emerged triumphant. He success was helped along greatly by his Long Sword, which scored the most kills in the simulation.

Dr. Dorian: Well, I am somewhat surprised by this outcome. I thought that maybe the Comanche's superior long range weapons would be too much for the Celt. But it looks like the Celt had enough skill in the other departments to prove me wrong.

_We see the Celt back at his home. He is sharpening the tips on the War Hawk he had claimed in his battle. At the front of his house, the Comanche's head stares vacantly into space, impaled on a sharp spike. _

**The End. **

**Next Time On Deadliest Warrior: **

What happens when two groups of highly trained special forces go toe to toe? We'll find out as the German Counter-Terrorism Squad, GSG-9, takes on Israelis top agents, the Israelis Commandos! Shotguns, Knives, Assault riffles, and Explosives! Until Next Time...**  
**


	20. GSG9 vs Israeli Commandos

_Disclaimer: I don't own Deadliest Warrior; but I wish I did. _

**Deadliest Warrior, Chapter 19: GSG-9 vs. Israeli Commandos**

_Narrator: _

GSG-9, The top secret paramilitary arm of the German police, known as the most lethal counter terrorism squad in the world.

_(We see some GSG-9 footmen taking shooting down some terrorists). _

_Narrator: _

The Israeli Commandos; Israelis top secret assassins, who fend off terrorists dedicated to destroying the Jewish nation.

_(We see some Commandos using their martial arts to take down some terrorists). _

**WHO IS DEADLIEST?**

To find out, our world class fighters are testing histories most lethal weapons. Using 21st century science, we'll see what happens when the two warriors go toe to toe. No rules. No safety. No mercy. It's a duel to the death, to decide who is...THE DEADLIEST WARRIOR!

GSG - 9

Height - 6'

Weight - 200 LBS

Gear - 60 LBS

Armor - Kevlar Vest & Titanium Helmet

Israeli Commandos

Est.1957

Foce Size: Classified

Height: 5' 10"

Weight: 180 LBS

_Narrator: _Here at the Fight Club, we take for weapons used by the German Counter-Terrorist, GSG - 9:

Remington 870 (pump shotgun)

H&K G36 (assault riffle)

H&K PSG1 (sniper riffle)

Stingball Grenade (special non-leathal)

_Narrator: _And see how they fare when pit against Israelis top secret assassins, the Israeli Commandos:

KA-BAR Knife (Knife)

Glock 19 (Handgun)

Micro Galil (Assault riffle)

Semtex (Explosive)

_Narrator: _For our first test, these two open fire with their Mid Range Firearms: The GSG-9 H&K G36 against the Israeli Commandos' Glock 19.

Fred prepped his assault riffle before walking out on to the firing range. His task was to kill three targets, but avoid killing the hostages. While running through a special section filled with smoke. Bursting through the first door, he immediately shot the first target in the head. Pushing the hostage to the ground he shot around the corner, and hit the second dummy in the neck. Finally, he busted down the final door, and when the enemy dummy came swinging at him, he peppered it's chest full of lead. All while managing to not kill any hostages. All of this took about 1 minute and 27 seconds. Pretty good overall.

Next was Bob, whose test was to eliminate two targets, and shoot out five lights in fake Bistro. Kicking down the door, he quickly shot at one of the lights, and the dummy across from him. He hit the dummy in the head, but missed the light. Turning, he shot the other dummy in the chest, and then went ahead and shot out the lights. He missed a few times, resulting in him having to reload. In total, the whole thing took about 20 seconds.

Then, to make sure that the tests were fare, and in the interest of science, Bob and Fred switched tests. Fred heading to the Bistro with a full clip in his riffle, and Bob with a reloaded Glock.

Fred had an easier time with the Bistro test, as there was no worry in hitting a hostage. After the two dummies were dead, he just had to release a few quick bursts on the lights. It took about 10 seconds. Bob, with no small light targets, was able to focus on the larger dummy targets. He took about 1 minute and 30 seconds.

Dr. Dorian: Well, looking at the speed and accuracy of both weapons, I think a choice is clear. While the Glock possess a great deal of power, it is only a handgun. The G36 is an assault riffle, so the difference in speed and power is clear. And maybe it was a factor of individual skill, but the G36 seemed more accurate as well. The Mid Range Firearms edge goes to the H&K G36.

Edge: GSG-9

_Narrator: _the next test, the two fire at a distance with their Long Range Weapons: The Israeli Commando's Micro Galil and the GSG - 9's H&K PSG1.

Again Fred and Bob took positions for this special test. Fred was perched on a hill, inside of a sniper's nest. Bob was a little closer, at about 30 feet. Their target was a dummy that would move back and forth on a wire, and the two would take turns shooting at it. To make it a bit more of a challenge: three dummies were tied to chairs, to simulate hostages. The two would have to shoot the kidnapper as much as possible, but without hurting a hostage.

Bob was first, carefully aiming his Galil. On the buzzer to start the test, he opened fire. Bullets riddled the torso, before Bob had to stop to avoid hitting a hostage; before resuming his barrage. By the time the test was over, Bob had managed to fire 23 rounds in about 48 seconds. Changing out the dummy for a fresh one, the cast signaled Fred in the Sniper's Nest.

Fred cocked his PSG1 and started firing on the moving torso. The bullets were very powerful, and some of them ripped right thorough the torso. After a steady cycle of cock, aim, fire, repeat, the team calls an end to the test. In the same amount of time as Bob's Galil, Fred had only fired 18 rounds, though no less accurately.

Dr. Dorian: It's tough in cases like this, to compare an assault riffle to a sniper riffle. The PSG1 has the edge in range, and certainly has a great deal of stopping power. But the Galil has more rapid fire capabilities, and seems to be just as accurate. It's a tough call, but I'm giving the edge to the Micro Galil.

Edge: Israeli Commandos

_Narrator: _For out third test, the kid gloves come off as our two Special Force soldiers unleash their special weapons: The GSG-9 Stingball Grenade, against the Israeli Commandos' Semtex.

Fred checked over the targets that surrounded him. There were five targets, arranged in a circle. Stepping out of the circle, he tosses a Stingball Grenade in the center. The bomb burst, sending up a cloud of smoke. But when the doctor checked out targets, none were really injured.

Dr. Dorian: While the grenade didn't actually kill anyone, you have to remember; that's not what it's meant for.

Next, Bob arranged the targets for his test. One dummy, holding a cell phone laced with Semtex, surrounded by four "bystander" dummies. Getting to a safe distance, he set off the charge. The cell phone exploded, and took the target's torso clean off. However, the bystanders were just fine.

Dr. Dorian: Both of these weapons are used very well by these groups, but in terms of shear killing power, I have to give the explosive edge to the Semtex.

Edge: Israeli Commandos.

_Narrator: _For our final test, the two warriors will try out their close range weaponry: The Israeli Commandos' KA-BAR Knife, and the GSG-9's Remington 870.

Dr. Dorian: Look this one is quick in easy. The choices are:

Bob stabbed a dummy repeatedly in the torso with the KA-BAR Knife.

Dr. Dorian: Or this . . .

Fred unloads his Remington 870 shotgun into the chest and torso of a dummy, spraying blood across the testing area.

Dr. Dorian: We try to make this fair and balanced, but sometimes things just don't work out that way. This is a comparison between a gun and a knife. Sorry, not a 'tuff call. Short Range edge goes to the Remington 870.

Edge: GSG-9

_Narrator: _With all the testing complete, Max Geiger uploads the data gathered from the tests into the battle simulation, developed by Slitherine Studio, to simulate a battle to the death between these two warriors. To make sure that victory isn't snatched by a single lucky blow, the battle will be simulated 1000 times. Who will win in this battle of Special Forces? The German Counter-Terrorism Squad? Or Israeli's top secret Assassins?

Close Range Edge: GSG-9 Remington 870

Mid Range Edge: GSG-9 H&K G36

Long Range Edge: Israeli Commandos Micro Galil

Special Weapon Edge: Israeli Commandos Semtex

It's time to find out which warrior is truly the deadliest. Max hits the button on the computer, and suddenly the screen goes "Matrix" on us.

This fight takes place in a lot with a bunch of abandoned buildings. A squad of GSG-9 enter through a broken gate, preparing a to search the lot. One GSG-9 gave a signal to another, and that GSG-9 nodded before going to take a sniper's position in a nearby warehouse. The rest continued deeper into the area. As they turned a corner the saw a group of Israeli Commandos entering the opposite end. They saw each other and reacted. A Commando fired off a couple of rounds from his Micro Galil, hitting a GSG-9 in the chest, killing him. The GSG-9's comrade responded by firing back at the Israeli with his H&K G36. The Commando tried to dodge, but was killed when a few punctured his heart. With a man dead on each side, the GSG-9 tried a tactical retreat, running through one of the warehouses; the Israeli Commandos in pursuit.

**GSG-9: 4 Israeli Commando: 4**

The GSG-9 Commander made it to the other side of the warehouse first. Just as he exited the warehouse, he ducked to the side of the door, took out his Remington 870 and waited. He saw his three men rush past, followed soon after by the Israeli Commandos. When he saw the fourth run out, he blasted him in the back with his shotgun; before running to join his men.

**GSG-9: 4 Israeli Commandos: 3**

The GSG-9 split up, with one of them running into a warehouse filled with boxes. Ducking behind one, he looked out to see a Commando come in. The Commando looked around, clearly searching for him. Smirking, the GSG-9 took a Stingball Grenade from his pocket, and tossed it over the box, before ducking back down, bracing himself. He heard the grenade go off, and he quickly prepared to finish the Commando off with his assault riffle. Coming from behind the box, he was surprised to see nothing there. There was the debris from his grenade, but nothing else. He searched the area, thinking maybe the Commando had taken shelter, but still couldn't find them. Suddenly, he heard footsteps behind him, he turned and prepared to fire. . . and dropped dead as the Israeli Commando put a round between his eyes with his Glock 19.

**GSG-9: 3 Israeli Commandos: 3**

The Israeli's victory was short lived however, as a GSG-9 had heard the sounds of gunfire and grenades, and had come to investigate. Upon seeing his fellow agent die, he took action by unloading his H&K G36 into the Commandos chest.

**GSG-9: 3 Israeli Commandos: 2**

As the GSG-9 walked away, he past by a couple of rusted out old cars. As he past them, a Commando leapt, a KA-BAR Knife in hand. The GSG-9 tried to shoot him, the Israeli ducked under his line of fire, grabbed his gun arm, and broke it. Crying out, the GSG-9 couldn't do much as the Commando stabbed him in the cut. As he slid to the ground, the Israeli Commando gave him a farewell pat on the head. Before running off.

**GSG-9 2 Israeli Commandos: 2**

Seeing his Commander, the Israeli Commando ran toward his leader, who was hiding in the shadows.

Back in the barnyard, a GSG-9 looked through the scope of his H&K PSG1. Seeing an Israeli running around, the GSG-9 took careful aim and fired. The Commando dropped without ever knowing what hit him.

**GSG-9: 2 Israeli Commandos: 1**

Seeing one of his men killed by what was obviously a snipper angered the Commando. Judging by were his solider had dropped, and where he assumed the shot had been fired, lead him to where he guest the sniper was hiding out. He slipped in through the warehouse doors and up a set of steps to the top floor, three stories up. Sneaking into the top room, he saw the sniper still peering out the window. Taking out his combat knife, he snuck up on him. His choice of the knife instead of a gun proved to be unfortunate, for when he stepped on an old floorboard sneaking up on him, it creaked and gave away his position.

Instantly the GSG-9 whirled around and fired. The bullet struck the wall right next to the Commandos' head. The Commando threw the knife, and it buried in the GSG-9's shoulder. Before the GSG-9 could fire off another shot, the Israeli Commando was upon him.

He yanked the H&K PSG1 from the GSG-9's hands, before upper-cutting him in the chin. But the GSG-9 was no slouch either. When the Commando came at him again, he kicked him in the chest, followed by a wicked haymaker to the side of the head, leaving the Commando stunned. Looking out the window, the Israeli saw the GSG-9 Leader coming toward the Warehouse. Not sure he could take two at once, he knew he would have to finish this fight quickly. He reached into his pocket, and pulled out what looked like a . . . cellphone?

When he and the GSG-9 came together again, he elbowed the man in the stomach before pushing him to the wall. While the GSG-9 struggled to break the larger man's grip, he didn't notice the Commando slip something into one of his pockets. He wasn't able to break the grip and the Israeli slammed his head against the wall, before shoving toward the warehouse window. The GSG-9 couldn't regain his balance in time, and ended up going right through the window. Plummeting three stories, he looked up to see the Israeli Commando watching him fall, while taking something out of his pocket.

The GSG-9 was certainly surprised when one of his men came tumbling out of the warehouse window. He saw the Israeli Commando there, and tried to shot him with the Remington, but the Commando just ducked back inside. Turning his attention back to his comrade, he went to check his vitals. The way he figured it, the Commando was trapped inside the warehouse, and the GSG-9 officer had survived his fall.

Inside the warehouse, the Commando ducked inside to avoid having his head blow off by the GSG-9 commander. It was already to late for them though. As the Israeli Commando leader took a look at the cellphone he'd taken from his pocket, and called the "special number" for the one he had planted on the GSG-9 he'd sent through the window.

The GSG-9 was checking the vitals of the agent, who by the looks of it would survive. That was when he heard a sudden ringing. Confused, the GSG-9 didn't react in time, as the semtex-laced-cellphone in his soldier's pocket, exploded. He was thrown back by the explosion, as the GSG-9 who had it in his pocket was torn apart.

Hearing the explosion, the Israeli Commando raced down the stairs, armed with his Micro Galil just in case. He needn't have bothered. When he checked, both GSG-9ers had been killed.

**GSG-9: 0 Israeli Commandos: 1**

Winner: Israeli Commandos!

Israeli Commandos: 530

Micro Galil: 300

Glock 19: 107

Semtex: 66

KA-BAR Knife: 57

GSG-9: 470

H&K PSG1: 221

H&K G36: 152

Remington 870: 97

Stingball Grenade: 0

_Narrator: _In this climactic battle of Special Forces, it was the Israeli Commandos who walked away victorious. His greatest weapon was the Micro Galil, which scored an unprecedented 300 kills in the simulation. But the GSG-9 didn't go done with out a fight, with both the PSG1 and the G36 scoring triple digit kills.

Dr. Dorian: This battle was pretty close. Those Israeli Commandos are some pretty tough customers, and I can't say I'm shocked they won. This was a very close battle between two very skilled operatives.

_We see the Israeli Commando salute his fallen men, before making his way out of the lot. _

**The End. **

**Next Time On Deadliest Warrior: **

A notorious raider takes on a dedicated defender. The Mongol, a horseback warrior with amazing accuracy with his weapons. But will that be enough against such a heavily armed opponent? The Knight, the medieval sword swinger, and one of the most brutal fighters of the age. But with his heavy armor weighing him down, can he ever hope to catch the Mongol with a single blow? Find out Next Time... **  
**


	21. Mongol vs Knight

_Disclaimer: I don't own Deadliest Warrior; but I wish I did. _

**Deadliest Warrior, Chapter 20: Mongol vs. Knight**

_Narrator: _

The Mongols; the vicious asian horse warriors who used brute savagery to conquer more territory in the 13th century then any empire in history.

_(We see a group of Mongols firing arrows form horseback)._

_Narrator: _

A Knight; sword wielding slayer of the medieval age.

_(We see a Knight on horseback swinging his Morning Star)._

**WHO IS DEADLIEST?**

To find out, our world class fighters are testing histories most lethal weapons. Using 21st century science, we'll see what happens when the two warriors go toe to toe. No rules. No safety. No mercy. It's a duel to the death, to decide who is...THE DEADLIEST WARRIOR!

Mongol

Circa 1225

Height: 5' 5"

Weight: 145 LBS

Armor: Leather Lamellar

Knight

Year: 1423

Height: 5' 11"

Weight: 180 LBS

Armor: Plate

_Narrator: _Here at the Fight Club, we take four weapons used by the vicious Mongol warriors:

Iron Flanged Mace

Glaive

Composite Recurve Bow

Ild Sword

_Narrator: _And place them against the sword wielding slayer, the Knight:

Broadsword

Crossbow

Halberd

Morning Star

_Narrator: _For our first test, our two warriors will test out some of the weapons that make them unique: The Mongol's Iron Flanged Mace, and the Knight's Broadsword.

Fred stared down the three gel torsos, while slapping his palm with the head of his Mace. Approaching the target on the left, he reeled his arm back and smashed the top of the gel skull. Instantly, the skull caved in, the neck shattered, and the grey matter splattered the area. The center dummy was hit on the side of the head, where again the neck and skull broke apart. The last dummy was just a gel head, and when Fred smashed it, he actually had difficulty pulling the Mace back out.

However, there was one final test to perform. The team brought out one more gel head, this one encased in the Knight's signature armor. Taking the mace in two hands, he hit the helmet with all his might. This time the the skull didn't splatter, but the helmet did get a large dent in it. The doctor removed the helmet, to reveal the skull with a large depression.

Dr. Dorian: This right here is a kill. Even through the heavy armor, this person is dead. It isn't instant, but it's pretty close.

Next was Bob, wielding a large Broadsword. His target was a large slab of hanging meat. With a quick swing he gouged a deep wound in the side of the meat, nearly splitting it in two. A second swing completed the job and the meat fell to the floor.

For Bob's second test, a gel dummy was set up wearing Mongol cloths. Charging the dummy, Bob decapitated it in a single swing. The second swing lodged the blade deep inside the dummy's chest.

Dr. Dorian: This is a difficult call. The Broadsword is very lethal, but slow. The Mace is a little faster, and can affect the Knight even inside the armor. I think that that is the deciding factor. When I saw the Mace crush the skull, even through the helmet, I was impressed. So I'm giving the short range edge to the Iron Mace.

Edge: Mongol

_Narrator: _Next, our two competitors will launch an attack with their long range weaponry: the Knight's Crossbow, and the Mongol's Composite Recurve Bow.

Bob was first, loading a crossbow. Since the Mongol fired his arrows from horseback, he would do the same. The DW crew already knew what the crossbow could do from the ground. So, snapping the reigns, Bob ran parallel to the targets. When his target was lined up, he fired. The bolt lodged in the dummy's soldier, not a kill shot. Trying to load as fast as he could on horseback was difficult, but soon he was ready. His second bolt struck home, and hit the dummy in the chest, piercing the heart.

Dr. Dorian: The Crossbow is very lethal, but I worry about the long reload time. If nothing else, that is the Crossbow's biggest failing.

Next was Fred, who was feeling a little uncertain. Like Bob, his dummy was wearing clothing to fit the opposing warrior. Unfortunately, that meant that his dummy was wearing head to toe Plate armor. It would take some really accurate shooting to score a kill shot.

Gathering his things, Fred began his test. From the first shot Fred knew this wasn't going to end well. The first shot merely pinged off the Knight's helmet. The two meant for his chest bounced away like nothing. At the third shot, fired as he was turning to make the return lap, got lucky and went through the unarmored elbow, though it didn't hit anything vital. Taking great aim with his final shot, Fred managed one right at a bit of unarmored neck.

Dr. Dorian: Well, that's rather disappointing for the Mongol's bow. Out of six shots, four were deflected by the Knight's armor. One scored a glancing blow, though if it had been a few inches closer, it might have been a kill shot. And one very lucky shot to the throat. Well that settles it, despite the long reload time, the Crossbow is capable of consistently hitting the target. The Long Range Edge goes to the Crossbow.

Edge: Knight

_Narrator: _For the third test, our warriors will bring out their deadly Mid-Range Weaponry: The Mongol Glaive, and the Knight's Halberd.

Fred went first, holding a Glaive and facing another suit of armor. Fred was really beginning to hate that thing. His first slash scrapped the chest-plate, without piercing it. Deciding to try a different tactic, Fred aimed at the arm and leg joints of the armor. With an upward slash, he was able to leave a deep gouge in the right arm. Continuing the combo, he slashed through the opening in the leg armor, which resulted in a satisfying splash of blood. None of his other attacks managed to do much, but he had proven his point. The Glaive could get at the Knight, even through his armor.

Bob's Halberd, however, had a much easier time getting through the Mongol's Leather Lamellar armor. With a single swing, he almost bifurcated the dummy right down the middle. With a second swing the job was done, and the dummy fell into four pieces.

Dr. Dorian: Well, while I am impressed that the Glaive was able to do some damage, I don't think it is enough. The Halberd is incredibly lethal, and if the Mongol can't get the Knight in one shot, the Halberd will make sure he doesn't second. The Mid Range Edge goes to the Halberd.

Edge: Knight

_Narrator: _For the Final Test, the two warriors dole out punishment with their Special Weapons: The Knight's Morning Star, and the Mongol Ild Sword.

Bob carefully strapped on his protective gear. Even though he was an expert in using the Morning Star, it was still very dangerous. Twirling the spiked-ball, his first shot aimed to take out the head. In a spray of blood, the head was reduced to a sickening mush. Next he aimed at the Leather Lamellar armor. The ball hit the side with a crunch. The doctor examined the wound, and found that the blow was not an instant kill. Some ribs were bruised, and one was cracked, but nothing that would cause an instant death.

Next was Fred, who was sure that this weapon would be a great success. Spinning the blade in his hand, he charged the dummy in Plate armor. He sliced at the head, and the thin blade past between the joints and nicked the neck. Twisting the sword again, he stabbed through the armpit up to the Ild Sword's hilt. The last one went under the Chest Plate, and actually managed to pierce the Chain-mail beneath.

Dr. Dorian: Well that is a surprise. I wasn't sure how the Mongol was going to make a comeback, but this certainly helps. While the Morning Star is without a doubt lethal, it is also very unruly. The weapon itself doesn't have a very good range, and is difficult to wield in complex ways. The Ild Sword can get though the nicks in the Knight's armor, it's longer, and it can change direction more fluidly then the Morning Star. So for the special weapon, the Ild Sword takes it.

Edge: Mongol

_Narrator: _With all the testing complete, Max Geiger uploads the data gathered from the tests into the battle simulation, developed by Slitherine Studio, to simulate a battle to the death between these two warriors. To make sure that victory isn't snatched by a single lucky blow, the battle will be simulated 1000 times. Who will win in this battle of warriors? The Mongol who fought with his kinsmen to conquer a great deal of 13th century Asia? Or the Knight, who killed thousands of "heathen scum" with his fellow Knights for their King?

Short Range Edge: Mongol's Iron Flanged Mace

Mid Range Edge: Knight's Halberd

Long Range: Knight's Crossbow

Special Weapon Edge: Mongol's Ild Sword

It's time to find out which warrior is truly the deadliest. Max hits the button on the computer, and suddenly the screen goes "Matrix" on us.

This fight begins in a deep forest. In the forest, a Mongol warrior rode his horse into a clearing. Hearing a noise on the opposite end of the clearing, the Mongol turned to see a Knight riding out of the brush. The two warriors eyed each other, before the Knight took out his Morning Star, and charged at the Mongol. The Mongol took out his Bow & Arrow and fired at the Knight. But the Arrows only bounced off the Knight's armor, and the Mongol had to move his horse to avoid loosing his head as the Knight charge past swinging his Morning Star. Twisting in his saddle the Mongol fired at the Knight's back, but still had no successes.

The Knight turned and charged again, and made sure to get as close as he could before he swung to kill. The Mongol ducked awkwardly in his saddle, his hat being knocked off his head as the Knight road past. Acting quickly the Mongol grabbed onto the Knight's arm and pulled. With his horse still moving forward the Knight was jerked back and ended up falling off his horse. However, the Mongol had not thought his plan all the way through, as he too was pulled from his horse. The horses moved away from their masters who landed in a heap on the ground.

The Mongol, who was wearing lighter armor then the Knight was able to get to his feet first. He ran to his horse to get a weapon, having noticed that his Bow had been crushed in the fall. The Knight rose to a sitting position and took his Crossbow from his belt and fired at the Mongol, hitting him in the back of his Leather Lamellar armor. The Mongol wasn't hurt to badly, and he reached his horse. Strapping his Ild sword and Iron Mace to his belt, he turned and faced the Knight with his Glaive. Only to duck as the Knight fired another Crossbow bolt. He charged the Knight and slashed at the Crossbow before the Knight could fire another shot. He knocked it from the Knight's hands, and he followed up with a stab at the Knight's chest. This didn't do much but push the Knight backwards somewhat. Turning around the Knight grabbed the Halberd from his own horse's saddle, before turning to face the Mongol.

The two warrior began to duck and weave in and out of each of others blows, neither doing the other much harm. The Mongol was able to out maneuver the slow Knight, but couldn't seem to hurt him with his Glaive. The Knight's was able to cause damage, but only when he hit. That one time was when the Mongol hadn't ducked low enough, and had received a gash on his shoulder. The Mongol soon found himself in trouble, when he tried to block a wide swing by the Knight's Halberd with his Glaive. The heavy weapon sliced through the Glaive and cut the Mongol across the chest.

The Mongol was forced to roll forward to avoid a second strike, unsheathing his Ild sword in the process. He ended up somewhat behind the Knight, and saw there a glimmer of hope. Taking his sword, he stabbed upward at the Knight's exposed armpit; and sure enough, the blade did slice the Knight. The Knight jerked away, the pain making him drop his Halberd. He held his arm, trying to gauge the damage done while glaring at the Mongol. Finally the Knight took out his Broadsword and the battle began again.

The Sword struck again and again, neither gaining ground over the other. Until finally the two ended up with their swords locked, staring each other down. In the contest of strength the Knight was quickly beginning to overpower the Mongol. Just as the Mongol thought he was going to have to jump out of the way, the Knight's fist lashed out and struck him across the face. Seeing as his enemy was distracted the Knight slashed his sword and knocked the Ild out of the Mongol's hands, before stabbing forward. The Mongol just barely managed to get out of the way, but still got a bloody cut on his side.

With only his Mace left the Mongol prepared for the Knight's next assault. The Broadsword came at him, and he was just able to deflect it with his Mace. Then when the Knight reared back for another attack, the Mongol lashed out with his Mace, striking the Knight in the side. The Knight stepped back, shocked, to have felt the strong blow. The Mongol, realizing what had happened, grinned. The Knight went for an overhand swing, and the Mongol sidestepped it, and struck the Knight in the opposite side with greater force. This time the Knight responded by backhanding the vicious Asian, knocking him back. The Mongol frowned, and spat out a tooth, before looking down at his feet. Seeing his Ild Sword, the Mongol took it up, and wielded it along side his Mace.

The Mongol charged the Knight, swinging his Ild sword as he went. The Knight's Broadsword rose to intercept it, but when it locked with the Ild Sword, the Mongol lashed out with his Mace, striking the Knight in the chin. He stumbled back and the Mongol jumped at him. He drove his Ild sword through the space in the leg armor, and stabbed the Knight in his thigh. The Knight grunted in pain as he lashed out again, managing a slight cut on the Mongol's chest.

The Knight swung his sword again, and the Mongol ducked under it. When he did, he brought up his Mace and struck the sword hand, causing the Knight to drop his blade. The Knight cried out as his blade fell from his hands, and the Mongol struck the side of his helmet, causing, the Knight to fall to one knee. Quickly moving to finish his opponent the Mongol drove his Ild sword at the Knight's throat. But before he could kill the Knight, the armored warrior managed to catch his wrist, stopping the attack. The Mongol tried to smash the Knight's head with his Mace, but the Knight grabbed that wrist too. Then, using his superior strength, he pulled the Mongol forward and head-butted him.

Before the Mongol could gather himself, the Knight snatched the Mace from his enemies hand and struck the the Mongol across the face with it, before tossing it to the other side of the clearing. The Mongol landed flat on his back, his jaw broken. The Knight bent down and picked up his Broadsword, and stood to face his foe. The Mongol shook his head and charged the Knight in a blind fury with his Ild. In the next instant the Knight had stepped into the Mongol's guard and sliced his sword arm clean off.

Staring in horror at his bloody stump the Mongol looked up with wide eyes as the Knight stood over him. Taking his Sword in both hands the Knight cried out a battle cry, before plunging his sword into the Mongol's chest. The Mongol gave a gasp as the life left his eyes, and the Knight pulled the sword from his chest. Then with a quick slice, removed the Mongol's head for good measure.

His task finished, the Knight raised his sword, and lowered his head thanking God for giving him the strength to vanquish his heathen foe.

Winner: Knight!

Knight: 551

Halberd: 186

Crossbow: 180

Broadsword: 135

Morning Star: 50

Mongol: 449

Iron Flanged Mace: 147

Ild Sword: 135

Glaive: 122

Composite Recurve Bow: 45

Narrator: In this fierce battle between two fierce soldiers, it was the Knight who proved his mettle, with his Halberd and Crossbow scoring the highest in the simulation. The Mongol didn't fare too poorly however, with his Mace and Ild Sword performing the best from his arsenal. In the end, it seems the Mongol just couldn't overcome the Knight's Plate Armor.

Dr. Dorian: It doesn't surprise me that the Knight won this fight. He has better defenses then the Mongol, and overall his weapons are just so much deadlier then the Mongol's. If perhaps, the Mongol had had more then one weapon that effected the Knight in a significant way, things may have turned out differently.

_We see the Knight riding back to his home, having recovered his horse after the battle. He rides back with the Mongol's Glaive amongst his other weapons, having taken a liking to the impressive looking weapon. _

**The End.**

**Next Time On Deadliest Warrior:**

The Final Modern match of Season X! This time: Green Berets, the elite soldiers of the US Army. When a battle needs to be fought, they send in the Green Berets; **against:** the Navy Seals: Land or Sea, this group of special forces can be there to do the job. They are trained to fight, trained to neutralize, and trained to kill with the utmost skill and ability! Who will triumph? Who will show you the greatest US special force is? Wait and see to find out! **  
**


	22. Green Berets vs Navy Seals

_Disclaimer: I don't own Deadliest Warrior; but I wish I did. _

**Deadliest Warrior, Chapter 21: Green Beret vs. Navy Seals**

_Narrator: _

Green Berets' one of America's most elite soldiers, fighting the fiercest battles.

_(We see some Berets fighting enemy soldiers). _

_Narrator: _

The US Navy Seals; America's amphibious special force, trained to neutralize any enemy, any time, any where.

_(We see some Seals emerging from the waters with guns drawn). _

**WHO IS DEADLIEST?**

To find out, our world class fighters are testing histories most lethal weapons. Using 21st century science, we'll see what happens when the two warriors go toe to toe. No rules. No safety. No mercy. It's a duel to the death, to decide who is...THE DEADLIEST WARRIOR!

Green Beret

Height: 6' 1

Weight: 180 lbs

Gear: 29 lbs

Force Size: 4,500

Navy Seals

Est. 1961

Weight: 185 LBS

Height: 6'

Force Size: Approx. 2000

_Narrator: _Here at the fight club we take the weapons used by two of America's best military forces, and put them to the test. First, the weapons used by gun-totting Green Berets:

E-Tool

Beretta Pistol

M4A1 Carbine

M67 Grenade

_Narrator: _and second, the weapons used by the amphibious Navy Seals:

Recon Knife

SIG Saucer

M4 Colt Commando

C4

_Narrator: _For our first test, these two groups butt heads with their close range weaponry: The Green Beret E-Tool and the Navy Seals' Recon Knife:

Fred picked up his E-Tool and gave it a few swings. It may not be a sword, but it looked like it could do the job in a pinch. Spinning on his heel, he swung the Tool at the gel dummy, the bladed shovel whistling through the air. The blade made contact, and split the skull wide open. The team confirmed that it was an instant kill shot.

Next was Bob, carefully his Recon Knife. And when his signal came, Bob went berserk. He stabbed the dummy repeatedly in the chest, the neck, and the face. Eventually he had stabbed it so much, that the head fell right off.

Dr. Dorian: Um . . . well . . . So, yeah, even though the E-Tool has a longer reach, the Recon Knife is an actual weapon, and seeing what can be done with, is actually pretty gruesome. Close Range Edge goes to the Recon Knife.

Edge: Navy Seals

_Narrator:_ For the next test, our two groups will try out their Mid Range Firearms: The Navy Seals' SIG Saucer, against the Green Beret's Beretta Pistol.

This test was conducted at night, and Fred and Bob were given special Night Vision Goggles. They were to run through the course, shoot the targets as fast as they could, all with only limited Night Vision and their respective Handguns.

Fred took his Beretta and started the course. He kicked down the first door and shot the first target. Following that he preceded to do the same with the other two targets, in a rather impressive time too. Fred was feeling pretty proud of himself, until the doctor Geoff checked the targets. While the first shot had hit the forehead, the second target was show to have only a grazed shoulder. The last target had been a head shot, but the bullet was off center, and looked like it had only nicked the side of the head. In total, Fred had gotten one kill, one incapacitated, and one uninjured.

Bob was next and he had slightly better, luck, actually managing to kill all of his targets, but it took him ten seconds longer.

Dr. Dorian: Well, I think the darkness element may have thrown them somewhat, and this may come down to skill rather than the weapon, but based on what we've seen here, I'm giving the Mid Range edge to the SIG Saucer.

Edge: Navy Seals

_Narrator: _For the third test, our two special forces will test out their Secondary Firearms: The Green Beret's M4A1 Carbine, and the Navy Seals' M4 Colt Commando.

Bob went first, pointing his Commando at the first target on the course. The course was set up to look like a civilian plaza, with five different targets; two of which were moving. One would move toward him, the other would move behind an open door when the rest had been shot.

Firing quickly he turned the heads of the first two dummies to mush. As one of the moving targets rolled past, he shot it twice in the side and neck. The third and fourth were taken out just as quickly. The final moving target rolled past, becoming visible. Bob fired at at, but wasn't sure he had scored a killing blow. The whole thing took 12 seconds. When the doctor went to check the targets, Bob found out that he had only nicked the last target, causing a severe injury, not death.

Fred was next, and tasked with the same course as Bob, did fairly well. It took him a second less, and he managed to kill both moving targets.

Dr. Dorian: This seems like sort of a "the gunman not the gun" but that aside, the test doesn't lie. The Secondary Firearms edge goes to the M4A1 Carbine.

Edge: Green Beret

_Narrator: _The final test will send this examination out with a BANG! as two of America's greatest operatives test out their explosive weapons: The Navy Seals' C4 against the Green Beret's M67 Grenade.

Fred took his grenade to the specified area pulled the pin and threw it in the seal room. The thing went off with a bang, shrapnel flying and hitting several dummies.

Dr. Dorian: This is powerful, and the shrapnel only makes it worse. If the explosion doesn't get you, the debris might. You'd have to really lucky to survive if one of those goes off near you.

Next, Bob set up a block of C4 in a n outhouse with a test dummy. When the team gave the signal, they detonated the C4, which vaporized the outhouse, and the dummy, and the immediate area. When the crew went to look over the sight, they actually had trouble finding pieces of the dummy.

Dr. Dorian: Well the C4 is powerful, I will grant you that, but it is a stationary explosive. It has to be set before detonation, unlike the M67 Grenade, which is portable. It may lack explosive power, but the ability to move makes it somewhat more practical. Explosive edge goes to the M67 Grenade.

Edge: Green Beret

_Narrator: _With all the testing complete, Max Geiger uploads the data gathered from the tests into the battle simulation, developed by Slitherine Studio, to simulate a battle to the death between these two warriors. To make sure that victory isn't snatched by a single lucky blow, the battle will be simulated 1000 times. Who will win in this battle of two of America's Greatest Special Forces? The Green Berets, America's elite Land Forces? Or The Navy Seals, America's lethal amphibious special forces?

Close Range Edge: Navy Seals Recon Knife

Mid Range Edge: Navy Seals SIG Saucer

Long Range Edge: Green Berets M4A1 Carbine

Explosive Weapon Edge: Green Berets M67 Grenade

It's time to find out which warrior is truly the deadliest. Max hits the button on the computer, and suddenly the screen goes "Matrix" on us.

This battle begins on a power plant, with the Navy Seals walking across a suspended platform. Hearing noise below them, the Seals look down, and see a group of Green Berets down below. When the two groups see each other, they open fire. Most of the Seals duck back onto the platform, but one stays long enough to hit one of the Green Berets in the chest with his Colt Commando. The rest of the Green Berets quickly take cover by making their way up a set of side stairs that curve behind a column. Once their, they slowly make their way to the Navy Seals position.

**Green Berets: 4 Navy Seals: 5**

Soon the Green Berets had made their way up to the cat walk the Navy Seals were on, only to find it empty. Stepping out onto the walkway, the Green Berets have to duck as a Navy Seal operative leans out from behind a column at the other end of the walkway, and starts taking shots at them from behind a large turbine. It seems the Berets are stuck, until the Commander manages to hit the Seal with his M4A1 Carbine, when the Seal leans too far out from his bunker. The bullet gets him right between the eyes, and the Seals slumps, out for the count. With him out of the way, the Berets cautiously make their way across the platform.

**Green Berets: 4 Navy Seals: 4**

However, when the Berets make it about halfway across the walkway, a second Seal, who was hiding behind the same column as the first, activates a charge that sets off some hidden C4. This C4 had secretly been attached to the underside of the walkway when the Green Berets had taken cover on the side stairs.

The C4 went off with a bang, killing one Beret by the force alone. The explosion had also caused the walkway to crumble under the Berets, and the one Green Beret standing in the back had the misfortune to be standing where the platform collapsed. The ground beneath him gave way, and he fell to his death.

**Green Berets: 2 Navy Seals: 4**

Figuring that someone must have set the C4 off, the Green Beret commander took a M67 Grenade from his pocket and hurled it behind the column. A second later, it went off, and the hidden Seal's body was throw into view. The remain Berets, after checking to see that the Seal was dead, moved on.

**Green Berets: 2 Navy Seals: 3**

The Berets emerge in a large room, with turbines lining the adjacent wall. The Berets start to move when the Navy Seals start to fire on them from beside the turbines. One of the Berets is hit in the shoulder, but nothing to serious. In retaliation he fires back with his Beretta Pistol, and manages to hit the Seal with the Colt Commando in the throat, killing him almost instantly. The other Beret starts to fire on the remaining Seals, who duck through a side doorway and run down a hall with the Berets in pursuit. The Seals separate and run down two opposite halls, and the pursing Berets do the same.

**Green Berets: 2 Navy Seals: 2**

One Seal stops and takes out his Recon Knife and turns to engage the Green Beret approaching him. The Beret, low on ammo anyway, holsters his Pistol and takes out his E-Tool. His first swing causes the Navy Seal to duck, and finds that in this relatively small hallway, maneuvering is just as difficult for him as it is for his opponent.

The Beret swings a second time, and manages a cut on the Seals' arm, but before he can pull back, the Seal grabs his arm and pulls him in close. Then quick as a flash he stabs the Beret in the chest repeatedly. After about the tenth stab, the Seal relaxes his grip and watches as the Beret drops to the floor.

**Green Beret: 1 Navy Seals: 2**

Back with the Seal leader, he has just run into a dead end room. Just behind him the Green Beret commander comes in Pistol drawn. Before he can fire, the Seal grabs his hand and twists it, making him drop the gun. He then kicks it to the other side of the room. The Beret responds by socking the Seal in the gut, even as the Seal punches him in the nose.

The Green Beret kicks the Navy Seal in the chest, sending him stumbling back. The Green Beret charged after him, but the Navy Seal twisted and slammed him face first into the wall. Taking the disoriented Beret, the Seal slammed his face into his knee, before kicking him into the nearby wall. As the Beret slid to the floor, he felt the Beretta Pistol beneath him. Grabbing it he pointed and fired at the Seal. At the same time, the Seal had taken his SIG Saucer out and fired at the Beret.

For a moment all was calm. The Navy Seal turned his head, and observed the bullet hole not an inch from his head. He turned back to the Green Beret, who was looking down at the gun wound to his chest. When it came down to it, the Beret had just barely missed. the Seal hadn't.

Turning at the sound of a door opening, he saw that his fellow Seal had survived. Nodding to each other in acknowledgment, the both raised their hands in a silent salute. Both to victory, and to their fallen comrades.

**Green Beret: 0 Navy Seals: 2**

Winner: Navy Seals!

Navy Seals: 563

M4 Colt Commando: 340

SIG Saucer: 111

Recon Knife: 82

C4: 30

Green Beret: 437

M4A1 Carbine: 343

Beretta Pistol: 50

M67 Grenade: 42

E-Tool: 2

_Narrator: _In this epic battle of some of America's elite forces, it was the Navy Seals that proved themselves superior. With their Colt Commando and SIG Saucer providing most of the kills, they certainly proved who was top dog. However, the Green Berets didn't go down with out a fight, with their M4A1 Carbine making up most of their kills.

Dr. Dorian: This battle was definitely a hard one to call. In the end, I guess that it all came down to training, technique, and skill. Something the Navy Seals have in spades. The Green Beret are good at what they do, but the Navy Seals are excellent.

_We see the two remaining Navy Seals, having patched up their injuries, radioing HQ to report that their mission was a success. _

**The End. **

**Next Time On Deadliest Warrior: **

It's the final ancient battle of the season, and it's all come down to our last two competitors. The Persian Immortal, a soldier of an army that conquered a great deal of the known world. And the Shaolin Monk, a master of Kung Fu, and the warrior who scored higher then any other warrior in his first appearance in "Shaolin Monk vs. Maori". These are two fierce competitors. So when a Persian Immortal invades a Shaolin Temple, will the Monk be able to hold him off? Or will he just be another of the many that fell by the Persian's blade? **  
**


	23. Persian Immortal vs Shaolin Monk

_Disclaimer: I don't own Deadliest Warrior; but I wish I did. _

**Deadliest Warrior, Chapter 22: Persian Immortal vs. **

** Shaolin Monk**

_Narrator: _

A Persian Immortal; the precision killer in a massive war machine who forged the largest empire the middle east has ever seen.

_(We see thousands of Persians marching toward an enemy stronghold)._

_Narrator: _

A shaolin Monk, the ultimate kung fu killing machine from China.

_(We see a group of monks training and meditating at their temple)._

**WHO IS DEADLIEST?**

To find out, our world class fighters are testing histories most lethal weapons. Using 21st century science, we'll see what happens when the two warriors go toe to toe. No rules. No safety. No mercy. It's a duel to the death, to decide who is...THE DEADLIEST WARRIOR!

Persian Immortal

Year: 500 BC

Height: 5' 8"

Weight: 160 LBS

Armor: Bronze Scale & Wicker Shield

Shaolin Monk

Height: 5' 7"

Weight: 145 LBS

Armor: None

Gear: 5 LBS

_Narrator: _Here in the Fight Club, we take four weapons used by fearsome conquerors, the Persian Immortals:

Sagaris

Bow & Arrow

Spear

Chariot Scythe

_Narrator: _and pit them the weapons used by Chinese's master of martial arts, the Shaolin Monk:

Twin Hooks

Emei Piercers

Staff

Whip Chain

_Narrator: _For the first test, our warriors battle it out at mid range with: the Persian Immortal's Spear and the Shaolin Monk's Staff.

Fred got in the chariot, holding the Spear loosely in his hand. His test was to ride around and stab a Monk dummy. Simple.

Fred rode off at top speed, aiming the lance at the dummy's chest. Just as he was about to pass, he stabbed the right in the heart, leaving a large, bleeding puncture wound. But he wasn't done yet. Hopping off of his chariot, he took the Spear, aimed, and hurled it through the dummy's stomach.

Dr. Dorian: This weapon is wickedly dangerous. It can be wielded at various speeds at different ranges. I'm curious how the Monk will overcome that.

Bob was next, surrounded by ceramic pots. Twirling the staff in his hand he went to work on the pots. He struck out with the staff and smashed pots left and right. Slow-motion shots revealed that the Staff was definitely striking with a lot of force.

Dr. Dorian: While that was a very impressive display of martial arts prowess, it still feels somewhat lacking, when we compare it to the Spear. I doubt the Staff will have the same affect on a body wrapped up in Persian Armor. On the other hand, the Spear can kill in a single shot if need be. Considering these factors, the mid range edge goes to the Spear.

Edge: Persian Immortal

_Narrator: _The second test, our warriors will test out a weapon unique to them: The Shaolin's Whip Chain, against the Persian's Chariot Scythe.

Bob faced five hanging balls, each filled with liquid. Bob twirled his Chain, standing the maximum distance the chain would allow. Suddenly he lashed out with the chain, the pointed end bursting the spheres one by one, spilling there contents across the lab floor.

Fred, who had gone back to his Chariot after attaching the Scythes, charged towards his target: a pig hanging to the side of the track. With the horses charging at full speed he quickly reached his prey. The scythe hit the pig one moment, the next the pig was sent flying, its body covered in scraps. But when the doctor examined the pig, he found that only some of the cuts may qualify as fatal.

Dr. Dorian: Now here we have to vastly different weapons. The Whip Chain is a very versatile weapon, but has only a limited range in which it can be considered effective. The Chariot Scythe on the other hand, is not versatile. The damage it deals is not always fatal, it isn't that difficult to avoid, and it is reliant on the Chariot to do any damage. For these reasons, I give the special weapon edge to the Whip Chain.

Edge: Shaolin Monk

_Narrator: _For the third test, our warriors lock blades as they enter into Close Quarters Combat: The Immortal's Sagaris and the Monk's Twin Hook Swords.

Fred took his Sagaris and walked toward his target. Since the Monk had no real armor to speak of, this should be pretty easy. His fist blow buried the blade deep into the brain and shattered the skull. The second effectively gutted the Monk, his robe offering no protection from the fierce swing.

Bob was next, looking at his own Persian target. His target was wearing the Bronze Scale of the Immortal and holding a wicker shield, a tuff obstacle to be sure. His first blow ripped through the flimsy wicker shield, and Bob pushed past it no problem. Now came the actual armor. His first swing went wide, and buried into the body's side, cutting deep. With his other hand he swung low, but his Hook glanced off of the armor. Then he twisted the swords and stabbed with their sharpened ends. This actually made a puncture, but there was no telling how deep. The other point stabbed the neck, which yielded precious blood. Next came the finisher: Bob put the two Hooks together, doubling their range, and spun them. When they came into contact with the Bronze armor they glanced off, forcing Bob to grab them before they fell away. The second spin was more rewarding, slicing a deep cut in the Immortal's neck. Finished Bob stepped back and waited to be judged.

Dr. Dorian: This is a very hard call. While the Sagaris has an easier target, it seems so one dimensional. Don't get me wrong, it works; but compare it to the Hook Swords. They have multiple ways to cut, and are just as deadly when hooked together. And while it may just come down to skill, I personally have to give the close range edge to the Twin Hooks for versatility.

Edge: Shaolin Monk

_Narrator: _For the final test, we try something a little different, as we compare our combatants final weapons: The Shaolin Monk's Emei Piercers and the Persian Immortal's Bow & Arrow.

Fred steadied himself, drawing back the bowstring and aiming his arrow. He took a breath and fired, the arrow flying through the air, and striking his target dummy right in the forehead. Fred shot two more arrows: one striking the throat, the last hitting the heart. Then he fired a few shots while riding in his Chariot. And while his accuracy did go down, it was still a little impressive to the judges.

Bob was next, strapping on some Emei Piercers. The rest of the crew had taken a step back, as everyone was familiar with what happened when Bob tested these types of weapons. And they were not disappointed. The first thing Bob did was gouge out the eyes of his dummy before stabbing anywhere he could. However, the Bronze armor proved to be a bit of a deterrent, and Bob found it nigh-impossible to stab through it.

Dr. Dorian: This is another one of those weird weapons match-ups we get from time to time. This is a case of comparing an extreme close range weapon to a long range weapon. This might be a little more even if armor wasn't involved, but the fact is, it is. Even with decreased accuracy, the Bow & Arrows will have much less time killing the Monk then the Monk will with his Piercers. Also, when put into the simulation, as the two warriors approach each other, we'll start seeing hits from the bow, long before he see any from the Emei. It just may be a case of a bad match-up, but this "X" Factor edge goes to the Bow & Arrow.

Edge: Persian Immortal

_Narrator: _With all the testing complete, Max Geiger uploads the data gathered from the tests into the battle simulation, developed by Slitherine Studio, to simulate a battle to the death between these two warriors. To make sure that victory isn't snatched by a single lucky blow, the battle will be simulated 1000 times. Who will win in this battle of opposites? The Persian Immortal, a member of an army that brought nations to their knees? Or the Shaolin Monk, a pacifist Ku Fu Killing machine who only kills in self defense? Fierce invader? Or Peaceful defender?

Short Range Edge: Shaolin Monk's Twin Hooks

Mid Range Edge: Persian Immortal's Spear

Special Weapon Edge: Shaolin Monk's Whip Chain

"X" Factor Edge: Persian Immortal's Bow & Arrow

It's time to find out which warrior is truly the deadliest. Max hits the button on the computer, and suddenly the screen goes "Matrix" on us.

This fight takes place just outside a Shaolin Monastery. A Persian Immortal rides up to it in his Chariot. At the entrance way stands the Head Monk. He has heard of these Persians, and what they do. And he has no intention of allowing on entrance. The Persian stops his Chariot and looks at the Monk. The Monk stares back arms folded. Then the Persian snaps his reigns and the battle is one.

As the Persian rides toward him, the Monk takes out the Whip Chain hidden in his sleeve and begins to twirl it. Just as the Chariot reaches him the Monk moves aside (taking care to avoid the Chariot Scythe spinning past) and lashes out with his Whip. The Whip hits the back of the Persian, but doesn't do much. The Persian, taking out his Bow & Arrow, wheels around for another pass. This Time as he rides toward him, he takes a few shots at him. The Monk doges most of the arrows, though one nicks his shoulder. Just as he is almost parallel to the monk he fires on last shot. The Monk ducks, before leaping over the Scythe. This time, he is directly behind the Persian. Before the Immortal gets to far, he Whips the chain again, and this time manages to wrap it around his enemies leg. Pulling with all his strength, the monk succeeds in pulling the Persian off of his Chariot.

The Persian stands, holding the Spear he had grabbed before his fall closely. As soon as he gets up, the Shaolin attacks again, striking out with his Chain. However, the when the chain goes out, it wraps around the Persian Spear. With a simple jerk, the Immortal yanks the Whip Chain from the Monk's hands. Now disarmed, the Monk makes a dash for a hidden weapons catch for some spare armaments. However, the Persian is not for behind.

Making it to the catch, the Monk takes a pair of Hook Swords and a Staff from it, just as the Immortal catches up. Tossing the swords down, the Monk uses his Staff to deflect a strike from the Spear. The two warriors then begin trading blows with each other, each seeking an opportunity to strike a powerful blow.

For the Monk, this came when he stopped a powerful overhead strike. Charging inside the Persian's guard, he struck his enemies chest with his Staff. The Persian grunted in slight pain, but the Monk would not relent. Attacking again and again, he backed the Persian into a tree, raining countless blows on his foe. When the Persian's back hit the tree, the Monk spun a full 360 degrees to end the fight. But at that moment, the Persian lashed out with his Spear, the sharpened metal point meeting the wooden, and splintering the Staff in two.

Stabbing outward, the Persian caught the Monk in the side, just as the Monk turned back to run. The Monk winced at his injury, but did not stop. He reached his Twin Hooks just as the Persian swiped his legs out from under him. He rolled into a recovery, and raised one swords in time to stop the Spear from shoulder. He lashed out with his other Hook, but it scrapped off of the Persian's armor. Standing, he tried to bring his Hooks down, taking off the Persian's arms, but the Persian blocked with his Spear. This turned out to be a bad move, as the Shaolin Monk launched a kick at the Immortal's armored chest. The blow sent him stumbling back, and made him drop the Spear still hooked in the Monk's swords.

Trying to go for the finishing blow, the Monk looped his Twin Hooks together and spun around, the blade whistling through the air. But again, the blade merely scrapped off his opponent's armor, bouncing it off like it was nothing. Emboldened by this, the Persian took out his Sagaris and charged at the Monk; and managed a deep cut to the Monk's arm. The Monk countered by using his other arm to stab his enemies side with his Hook Swords pointed end. Grunting in pain, the Persian swung his Sagaris at the Monk, only for it to get caught in the Hook Sword. But using his other hand, the Immortal grabbed the Monk by the neck, and threw him backwards. The Monk slammed into the ground, one of his Twin Hooks falling out of reach.

Before he could stand, the Persian was standing on his chest with one foot, the other stomping down on the hand still holding a sword. But the Persian never noticed the Monk slipping something from under his sleeve into his empty hand. When the Persian went to bury his Sagaris in the Monk's head, the Monk took his hidden Emei Piercer and stabbed the Persian in the leg.

The Persian cried out at the unexpected pain, and took a step back. The Monk stabbed upward, but his Piercer didn't penetrate the Persian's armor. The Persian swung his weapon furiously, but the Monk reached down, grabbed his lost Hook Sword, and swung it up to meet him. The blades met in a stalemate; until the Shaolin Monk brought up his second Hook and cleaved the Immortal's arm off at the elbow. The Persian cried out in horror, before trying to attack the Monk with his bare hands. Reacting quickly, the Monk sliced outwards with his Twin Hooks, the bladed hooks catching and separating the Persian's legs from the rest of his body. The Persian's body crashed to the ground, swearing profusely. The Monk stood up, looking at the body that cried out in pain before him. He had not wished to cause such suffering. Deciding to end the poor creatures suffering, he crossed his Twin Hooks in an X formation, with the Persian Immortal's head in between the curved hooks. Then, in one swift motion, the Shaolin Monk separated the so-called Immortal's head from his body.

As the headless body slouched to the ground, it's crimson fluid staining the walk-way and nearby grass; the Monk bowed his head and offered a quick prayer to his fallen enemy. After that, he turned and made his way back to the Monastery, to inform his brothers that the threat had passed.

Winner: Shaolin Monk!

Shaolin Monk: 502

Twin Hooks: 300

Whip Chain: 129

Emei Piercers: 38

Staff: 35

Persian Immortal: 498

Spear: 200

Bow & Arrow: 130

Sagaris: 108

Chariot Scythe: 60

_Narrator: _In this battle of near polar opposites, it was the Shaolin Monk who proved himself in this battle. He scored most of his kills thanks to the Whip Chain and Twin Hooks, which scored over half of kills by itself. The Persian Immortal didn't fare too poorly, with a score of 498, making this match almost to close to call!

Dr. Dorian: Well, I am surprised. I thought that the Persian Immortal weapons and armor would be too much for the Shaolin Monk to overcome. I guess armor isn't everything, and while the Monk may lack power in some of his weapons; he makes up for it with incredible technique and skill.

_We see the Head Shaolin Monk back at the Temple. His fellow monks had arranged for the Persian to be buried in a nearby grave site. His horses had been taken in to be cared for. His weapons and armor were added to the Temple armory. They would be used so that Monks might later use them, in defense of any who might seek to harm them or their Temple. _

**The End. **

**Next Time On Deadliest Warrior: **

The first of a few bonus chapters, where we take a look at what might have been... **  
**


	24. Alternate Endings Part 1

To my fans, here are a few "What If" alternate endings to some of my works: "Mongol vs. Knight", "Shaka Zulu vs. Alexander the Great" "Ninja vs. Maori" "Viking vs. Gladiator" and "Pirate vs. Samurai". Just think of what might have happened in things had gone just a bit differently…..

**Mongol vs. Knight:**

The Mongol charged the Knight, swinging his Ild sword as he went. The Knight's Broadsword rose to intercept it, but when it locked with the Ild Sword, the Mongol lashed out with his Mace, striking the Knight in the chin. He stumbled back and the Mongol leapt at him. He drove his Ild sword through the space in the leg armor, and stabbed the Knight in his thigh. The Knight grunted in pain as he lashed out again, managing a slight cut on the Mongol's chest.

The Knight swung his sword again, and the Mongol ducked under it. When he did, he brought up his Mace and struck the sword hand in the wrist, shattering it. The Knight cried out as his blade fell from his hands, and the Mongol struck the side of his helmet, causing, the Knight to fall to one knee. Before the Knight could do anything, the Mongol had taken his Ild sword and driven it through the Knight's neck. The Knight choked out something, though his words were lost, and fell backwards, dead. Seeing his enemy defeated, the Mongol reared his head back and screamed to the Heavens in Victory!

Winner: Mongol !

Mongol: 551

Ild Sword: 186

Iron Flanged Mace: 180

Glaive: 135

Composite Recurve Bow: 50

Knight: 449

Halberd: 147

Crossbow: 135

Broadsword: 122

Morning Star: 45

_Narrator:_ In this fierce battle between two fierce soldiers, it was the Mongol who proved his mettle, with his Mace and Ild Sword scoring the highest in the simulation. The Knight didn't fare too poorly however, with his Halberd and Crossbow performing the best from his arsenal.

Dr. Dorian: The Knight just can't seem to catch a break. I was sure that his armor would keep him alive. I guess that the Mongol proved me wrong. While the Mongol may have failed in the Long Range department, it is clear that his other skills are just as lethal.

_We see the Mongol back on his horse riding towards camp. Bound to his horse, is the horse of the fallen Knight, no fated to serve a new master. The Mongol has also taken the Knight's Crossbow, to replace the Bow he lost._

**Shaka Zulu vs. Alexander The Great: **

Knowing his enemy was right behind him, Alex dived for the bundle he saw on the ground where he'd first fallen, glad to see it was already pre-loaded. Rolling over, he faced his screaming adversary: "Zulu!" "Zulu!" "Zulu!" and fired his gastraphetes.

But at the last second, Shaka ducked, and the bolt sailed right over him. Taking the Iklwa that he had recovered before while chasing Alex, Shaka threw himself at his enemy. Alex bent and grabbed his Xyston from the ground and tried to fend off the African Warlord. Alex stabbed with his Xyston, but Shaka caught it with the blade of his Axe. Forcing the the Xyston downward, Shaka left Alexander defenseless for a moment. And in that one moment Shaka leapt forward, Iklwa in hand, and rammed it through Alexander's throat. Alex gurgled for a moment, then fell over dead. Looking down on his fallen foe, Shaka leaned back and cried out to the heavens: ZULU!

Winner: Shaka Zulu

Shaka Zulu: 513

Iklwa: 351

Zulu Axe: 115

Iwisa: 47

Spit Of Poison: 0

Alexander The Great: 487

Kopis: 140

Xyston: 245

Gastraphetes: 75

Ballista: 27

_Narrator:_ In this battle between two of histories greatest leaders, it was Shaka Zulu who pulled a surprising victory. His greatest weapons in the simulation were the Iklwa and Zulu Axe.

Dr. Dorian: I'm actually very surprised that Shaka could pull this off. I figured that Alex's armor and weapons would be too much for the Zulu to overcome; but I guess he proved me wrong.

_We see Shaka back at his camp, holding the fallen Alexander's Kopis sword. There we see him directing his troops to launch a surprise attack on Alexander's leaderless army. _

**Ninja vs. Maori**

For a third time the ninja threw his chain, and again the maori batted at it with his taiaha. But this time the chain wrapped around the staff. Seeing this the ninja pulled on the chain. Hard. Not expecting this the maori found himself being pulled forward, and soon fell flat on his face.

Seeing a true golden opportunity, the ninja lunged forward with the bladed end of the kusarigama. But just before he buried into the Maori's neck, the islander rolled out of harms way. Grabbing his Taiaha, he jerked it toward him, and the Kusarigama which was still wrapped around it. Then in one quick motion, stabbed the Taiaha into the Ninja's leg. The ninja limped back in pain, and un-sheated his Ninjato. With it, he was able to deflect the first strike against him, but the second hit left him open. The Maori twirled the staff in his hands, before shoving the sharpened in straight throughout the Ninja's heart.

The Ninja staggered back. He coughed once, his mouth leaking blood; staining his black face mask. Then, silently, he fell backwards and lay still. The assassin knew no more.

The Maori, flushed with victory, cried out to his ancestors. Then, he gathered his tools and weapons. The last thing he did before he left that clearing however, was to sling the ninja's body over his shoulder, and walk back to his tribe. There would be much celebrating to do.

Winner: Maori

Maori: 520

Taiaha: 204

Mere: 131

Shark Tooth Club: 126

Stingray Spear: 59

Ninja: 480

Kusarigama: 194

Ninjato: 121

Blowgun: 116

Shuriken: 49

Black Eggs: 0

_Narrator:_ In this battle of opposites, it was the Maori who proved victorious. Pulling out a surprise victory with his favorite weapon the Taiaha, which had over 200 kills in the simulation.

Dr. Dorian: I almost can't believe that the Maori won this fight. It just seemed so unlikely.

_We see the Maori back at his tribal home, celebrating with his people. Amongst his possessions is the Kusarigama which had given so much trouble in his recent fight. After telling his tale, the Maori sat down to a nice meal of . . . well . . . _

**Viking vs. Gladiator: **

Unfortunately for the gladiator, his spiked cestus got stuck. He now found himself unable to pull his fist from the wooden shield. The viking, taking advantage of this situation, suddenly charged. This caused the gladiator to be pushed along, unable to get a decent shot with his sica, until the viking slammed him into a nearby tree.

Or rather, he tried to. At the last moment, the Gladiator freed himself, and side-stepped out of the charge. His own momentum working against him the Viking crashed head-long into the tree. Not wasting a moment the Gladiator stabbed the Viking in the back with his Sica. The Viking cried out in pain, and turned about to back-hand the Gladiator with his shield. Having learned his lesson from the last time, the Gladiator stepped back. Then grabbing the shield before it could be retracted, he pulled it from the Viking's hand and flung it to the side.

The Viking tried to stab with his Long sword, but the Gladiator was a step ahead, and pinned it to the tree with his Sica. The Viking, in his pain dropped the sword, as the Gladiator went to town on the Viking with his Cestus. The punches struck again and again, hammering away at the Norse warrior.

Finally the punches stopped. The Gladiator removed his sword, and the Viking slumped to the ground, barely conscious, and just clinging to life. Stepping back the Gladiator remembered his old days back at the colosseum. He imagined the Emperor looking down on him, as the crowds cheered. Then came the moment where it was decided if the loser should live or die. Shaking his nostalgia away, the Gladiator took his Sica, and rammed it right through the Viking's throat. Standing back, he screamed: For The Emperor!

Winner: Gladiator

Gladiator: 573

Trident & Net: 270

Sica: 158

Cestus & Scissor: 115

Sling: 30

Viking: 427

Long Sword: 190

Great Axe: 140

Viking Spear: 73

Viking Shield: 24

_Narrator:_ In this battle of similar opponents, it was the Gladiator that proved to be the deadlier man. With most of his weapons scoring in the triple digits, it was his Trident and Net combo that proved the deadliest weapon in this fight.

Dr. Dorian: I guess I can understand why the Gladiator won. The Gladiator fought everyday for the sake of his own life. And he certainly wasn't going to let the Viking end it.

_We see the Gladiator crying out in victory. When he was done, he made his way deeper into the forest, taking the Viking Long Sword as his prize. _

**Pirate vs. Samurai: **

Seeing the samurai coming to, the pirate realized he was all out of pistols. This meant it was time for a last resort. The pirate pulled out his one grenado and lit it. He tossed it at the samurai and ducked for cover behind a rock, knowing that if this didn't kill the samurai, nothing would.

The samurai struggled to stand after that blast had hit him. That last attack had really hurt. He would definitely be needing medical attention when this was over. He heard a thump as something near him. Looking at it, his eyes widened in realization. He brushed it off his chest quickly as he stood. He turned to run . . .

And ducked behind a rock just as the blast went off. Using the smoke it kicked up as cover, he grabbed him Kanabo and made his way around his enemy.

The Pirate looked out from behind his own cover, hoping to see a dead Samurai. When he saw nothing, he became understandably nervous. Hearing a cry, he turned around, just in time to hit in the legs by the Samurai's giant club. The blow shattered his femur, and sent him crashing to the ground. Looking up, the Pirate had time to do nothing, as the Large Kanabo split his head like a watermelon.

Stepping back, the Samurai wiped the blood off his weapon, before retrieving the treasure and walking off.

Winner: Samurai

Samurai: 553

Naginata: 226

Katana: 164

Yumi: 148

Kanabo: 15

Pirate: 553

Blunderbuss: 153

Grenado: 119

Cutlass: 95

Flintlock Pistol: 80

_Narrator:_ In this battle of opposites it was the Samurai who came out on top. With his best weapon: the Naginata, scoring an amazing total of 226 kills by itself.

Dr. Dorian: I was a little surprised how this turned out. Even though this seemed like another 'Knife to a Gun fight' battles, the Samurai turned it around. In the end, even though the Pirate showed great skill with his weapons, the Samurai possessed an even greater skill with his. Also, I think that his weapons were just a bit more reliable then the finicky black powder weapons of the Pirate.

_We see the Samurai back at the Daimyo's home, all patched up, presenting the stolen gold back to it's rightful master. The Samurai had considered taking something else, a prize taking from one warrior to another, but had decided against it. After all, it would be not be honorable to steal from the dead. _

**The End.**

**Next Time: More Alternate Endings still to come. **

**And...**

**The Deadliest Warrior Season X Back For Blood Special will be coming soon!  
**


	25. Alternate Endings Part 2

**To my fans, here are a few "What If" alternate endings to some of my works: "Aztec Jaguar vs. Rajput", "Roman Centurion vs. Ming Warrior" "William Wallace vs. Sun Tzu" and "Attila The Hun vs. Vlad The Impaler". Just think of what might have happened in things had gone just a bit differently….. **

**Aztec vs. Rajput: **

The next swing caught the Rajput in the side of the head, with the flat, unsharpened side of the Maquahuitl. The blow laid the Rajput out flat, almost knocking him out. The blow also caused him to lose his grip on the Katar, making it fall to the ground, away from its' master.

The Rajput looked up, dazed, fighting off a state of unconsciousness. He saw the Aztec looming over him with his Maquahuitl posed to end the fight there. That was when the Rajput remembered; his Chakram! He quickly yanked it from his waist and threw it, just as the Aztec got ready to bury his blade in the Rajput. The blade flew through the air...

And missed! The Aztec had leaned out of the way just in time, and the Chakram flew harmlessly past. Looking back down at the Rajput, the Aztec saw him trying to make a hasty retreat. But the Aztec would not have it. Leaping foreword, he swept the Rajput's feet out from under him with a swing of his Maquahuitl. The Rajput hit the ground hard, looking up just in time to see the flat of the obsidian weapon crash down on him. After that, darkness.

The Aztec looked down at the unconscious Rajput, breathing deeply in relief that he had won. Now for the important part. He quickly bound the Rajput put, and dragged him away into the forest.

-Later-

The Rajput awoke, surprised he was still alive, but his relief quickly turned to fear as he saw that he was bound, and surrounded by more of the people who had attacked him. Looking down, he realized that his armor was removed, and one of the Aztecs was moving toward him with rather sharp looking knife.

Moments later, the head priest held up his hand to the roar of the crowd, holding the heart of the now dead Rajput in his hand.

Winner: Aztec

Aztec: 583

Maquahuitl: 312

Atlatl & Tlacochtli: 226

Tecpatl Sacrificial Knife: 41

Tematlatl: 4

Rajput: 417

Khanda: 310

Katar: 82

Chakram: 25

Aara: 0

_Narrator: _In this brutal battle, it was the Aztec that surprisingly rose to victory; with both his Maquahuitl and Atlatl & Tlacochtli scoring in the triple digits.

Dr. Dorian: Well, I'll admit I am surprised. I didn't think that the non metal weapons of the Aztec would be so effective. I guess this is just a lesson in not underestimating your opponent. The Aztec is after all a very skilled hunter for one of the most powerful empires in history. It's not too much of a stretch that he actually managed to pull this off. And let's admit, the Khanda that the Rajput used was far to slow. Deadly, but slow. And the Aara, while interesting, lacked lethality. It was these two things, more then anything else, that lead to his defeat.

_We see the Aztec Jaguar watching the ceremony, pleased that he'd been able to bring a worthy sacrifice to the gods. For his work, he'd been told he could keep the weapons the warrior had used. He was already trying to figure out a way to make an obsidian version of the Katars. _

**Roman Centurion vs. Ming Warrior: **

The Ming turned when he heard running, and saw the last Centurion running up the hill toward him. The Ming tried to load a shot, but saw that he wouldn't have enough time as the Roman was on him. The Ming swung his Pole Cannon like a club, but it bounced off the Centurion's shield with a loud clang. The Roman responded by slamming the Ming with his shield, knocking the cannon from his hands.

The Ming crashed into the side of the rock wall, already drawing his Dao for the final battle. He met the Centurion head on and tried to decapitate him. But the Roman deflected the sword. Working with the motion, the Ming altered his blades course and stabbed the Roman in the leg. The Centurion cried out, and responded by trying to lop off the Ming's hand. But the Ming moved his hand out of the way, and stabbed the offending limb with his Dao. The Centurion cried out in pain, lashing out with his shield. But the Ming stepped out of the way, and with some quick footwork ended up behind the Centurion. With a quick slash, the Centurion's shield arm was gone.

Watching his limb fall away, and his life blood stain the ground, the Centurion knew he needed to act fast. Spinning around, he slammed his Gladius into the Dao with all his might. But that was what the Ming wanted him to do. With a quick disarming technique, the Ming sent the Gladius spinning from the Roman's fingers. The Centurion only had a brief moment to stare open mouthed at his empty hand, before the Ming drove his Dao through the Centurion's throat. The man gasped for a moment, before a final slash separated the head from the rest of the body.

Standing over the headless body of the man, the Ming took a step back, and bowed his head for the fallen warrior. Then, he raised his Dao high and cried out in victory!

Winner: Ming Warrior

Ming Warrior: 529

Mechanical Land Mine: 259

Dao: 150

3-Barrel Pole Cannon: 80

Nest Of Bees: 40

Roman Centurion: 471

Gladius: 235

Dolabra: 107

Pilum: 77

Scorpion: 52

_Narrator: _In this climactic battle of Empires, it was the Ming Warriors who came out on top, with their deadly Land Mine and Dao scoring most of their kills. The Centurion weren't far behind though, with their Gladius gaining over two-hundred kills in the simulation.

Dr. Dorian: This isn't too surprising, as the Ming Warriors did have guns. Primitive guns, but guns none the less. While the Centurion's had defense, their weapons lacked the versatility of the Ming's weapons. Each weapon had its purpose, but it wasn't much use for anything else. Another problem was their brining in a siege weapon for a squad on squad skirmish. In the end, the problems with the Centurions aren't much, but they were enough to make them fall before the might of the Ming Warriors.

_We see the Ming commander trudging back to his camp, the Gladius sword of the fallen Centurion commander taken as his prize from combat. _

**William Wallace vs. Sun Tzu: **

Finally the sword lock once again, and Sun Tzu pushed with all his might, and slowly his sword came closer and closer to Wallace's body. Sun Tzu grinned, this would be his finest victory. Wallace had to do something, when he got an idea. Taking his burned hand let go of the Claymore, and when the Jian slid to take his head, he used his good arm to direct it to his shoulder. The chain-mail absorbed most of the damage, but the blade still cut enough to draw blood. But the moment his weaker arm had let go of the Claymore, it had reached for the Dirk at his belt. With a quick slash, he cut the weapon across Sun Tzu face. Sun Tzu jerked back as blood blinded one eye.

Wallace then stabbed at the hand holding the Jian, but Sun Tzu jerked back at the last second. Then as quickly as Wallace could he grabbed his Claymore in both hands, and spun 360 Degrees. The blade seemed to scream as it tore through the air, but before it could slice through the neck of the master strategist, Sun Tzu managed to duck under the sword.

Seeing Wallace was wide open, Sun Tzu gripped the Jian so hard his knuckles turned white. Forced to squint due to the blood in his eye, he stepped foreword into Wallace's guard, still in a crouch. Then he stabbed his Jian upward, the blade managing to pierce the chain-mail, and go right through William Wallace's chest to puncture his heart.

Wallace gave a pained gasp, as his heavy Claymore fell from his grasp. As he died, he slumped foreword, and Sun Tzu had to step out of the way as the mountain of a man fell to the ground. Wiping the blood off his blade, Sun Tzu bowed to his fallen foe, one of the greatest Sun Tzu had ever faced.

Winner: Sun Tzu

Sun Tzu: 636

Jian: 322

Zhua: 260

Repeating Crossbow: 40

Flaming Arrows: 14

William Wallace: 364

Claymore: 230

Targe & Dirk: 78

War Hammer: 50

Ball & Chain: 6

_Narrator: _In this battle between two of histories most powerful and bloody warriors, it was Sun Tzu who came out alive. His Jian and Zhua dominated the fight and both had kills in the triple digits.

Dr. Dorian: I will admit that I'm surprised that Sun Tzu did so well. I always though of him as a thinker, not a fighter. But I guess all that thinking paid off, and he was able to use his weapons to great effect. It isn't a complete surprise that Wallace lost; his Claymore left him open when he missed, and his Ball & Chain was next to useless.

_We see Sun Tzu walking away from the corpse of William Wallace. As he arrives at his campsite he sits down to have a cup of tea. As he drinks, he stars at the Claymore that he felt compelled to take with him, now wondering just how he'll carry the monstrously large weapon around over large distances. _

**Attila The Hun vs. Vlad The Impaler: **

The two continued to clash over and over, until finally Attila was able to stab Vlad in the arm, forcing him to drop his Halberd. Attila thought he'd won, until Vlad drew his Kilij. Even injured Vlad wielded the blade with great skill. As the two fought sword to sword, it seemed like they were evenly matched.

Finally, Attila rolled under Vlad's wide slash, and lashed out with the Sword of Mars, and nicked the back of Vlad's ankle, bringing him down to one knee. Attila raised his sword and prepared to behead the great Impaler. But Vlad raised his Kilij just in time, deflecting the blade away from him. Then he lashed out and cut Attila across the stomach. As Attila clutched his wound Vlad sliced again, and it was only by his years of honed reflexes that kept the Hun leader from losing a foot.

Attila gathered himself, watching as Vlad managed to stand and tried to hobble after him. Attila sneered at this retched excuse for a man. This man deserved a special death. Turning away, he made his way over to where the fight started, looking for something.

Vlad followed as quickly as he was able, which wasn't very fast at all. He screamed curses and threats after the retreating Hun; how dare he not stay and fight! He saw Attila step next to a tree, holding what appeared to be the rope from the beginning of the fight. Attila had made a new loop for the rope, and knew exactly how he was going to use it.

As Vlad came at him again, swinging his Kilij widely like a man possessed, Attila responded with his Sword of Mars. Attila managed to use his sword to direct Vlad's slash into the ground, burring it in the dirt. Before he could lift the sword back up, Attila sliced off his hands with a well placed blow from his meteorite sword.

As Vlad screamed in pain at the loss of his hands, he was unable to avoid the punch to the face which sent him stumbling backwards. Suddenly, a great pressure made its way around the Impaler's neck, and he saw to his horror that Attila had gotten his Lasso around him again. With no way to remove the rope, he was helpless as Attila through the rope over a low hanging branch and catch it as it came down the other side. Vlad tried to run, but it was to little to late.

Pulling with all his might, Attila pulled Vlad off his feet, and into the air. Wrapping the end of the rope around an exposed root, he took a step back to watch, as the once mighty Impaler struggled fruitlessly to escape. All to soon for Attila's liking, the eyes of the man who killed his men rolled back into his head, and Vlad started to slip away. Deciding to give the monster once last kick before he left, Attila grabbed his Sword of Mars, and began hacking away at the body, like some macabre pinata. When his anger finally faded, he took a step away from the bloody mess, and screamed in victory!

Winner: Attila The Hun

Attila The Hun: 528

Composite Bow: 296

Sword Of Mars: 173

Scythian Axe: 30

Lasso: 29

Vlad The Impaler: 472

Kilij: 309

Halberd: 85

Hand Cannon: 64

Steel Crossbow: 14

_Narrator: _In this battle, we saw two of history's most sinister figures collide, with the only Attila The Hun walking away from it alive.

Dr. Dorian: It's not surprising Attila won. He possessed weapons that could be used fast, that also possessed great power and lethality. Vlad had some good weapons, but most of them were to slow or ineffective to be of any real help here. In the end, his best weapon was the Kilij, but just one sword wasn't enough to help him here.

_We see Attila riding away from the bloody scene in the forest. He will need to remake his army, and this time make sure they are better trained to defend themselves. As he rides he thinks about the monster he had just slain. He looks down at his side, where he now keeps the Kilij next to his own Sword of Mars. _

_**Next Time: **_

**The Back For Blood Special Begins! **_  
_


	26. Back For Blood PT 1: Modern

_Disclaimer: I don't own Deadliest Warrior; but I wish I did. _

**Waring: If you haven't read any of my previous fights, you are about to experience spoilers! You Have been warned. **

**This season, we've had 26 ancient era warriors, but only 13 have survived.**

Alexander The Great, the warrior king

_(We see Alexander fire a bolt from his gastraphetes into Shaka Zulu's chest) _

The Ninja, the master assassin

_(We see the Ninja slam his kusarigama into the Maori's neck)_

The Viking, the berzerker norsman

_(We see the Viking use his long sword to slit the gladiator's neck)_

The Pirate, gun-totting master of the high seas

_(We see the Pirate toss a grenado at the samurai, then duck behind a rock)_

The Rajput Warrior, India's greatest fighter

_(We see the Rajput throw his Chakram and decapitate the Aztec)_

The Roman Centurion, the elite of the Roman Army

_(We see the Centurion Commander stab the Ming Commander through the heart )_

William Wallace, the powerful scottish rebel

_(We see William Wallace slicing off Sun Tzu's head with his Claymore) _

Vlad The Impaler, the black hearted prince of darkness

_(We see Attila The Hun being impaled in Vlad's throne room)_

The Musketeer, the greatest solider of the French army

_(We see the Musketeer Commander shoot the Spartan Commander in the face.)_

The Apache, the scalp taking master of death

_(We see the Apache smash the Zande's head with his War Club)_

The Celt, the unstoppable barbarian of the north

_(We see the Celt spear the Comanche through with his Lancea)_

The Mongol, one of Asia's greatest horseman

_(We see the Mongol slice the Knight's throat with his Ild Sword)_

The Shaolin Monk, the passive master of killing

_(We see the Shaolin Monk behead the Persian Immortal with a quick swing of his Twin Hooks)_

**We also had 18 modern day warriors go head-to-head, and only nine lived to tell the tale. **

The IRA, masters of guerilla warfare

_(We see the last yakuza killed by nail bomb as the last IRA flees from the hotel)_

The Medellin Cartel, the drug runner elites

_(We see the Cartel leader hit a button, then the Viet Cong's jeep explode) _

The Jesse James Gang, the fastest shooters in the West

_(We see Jesse shoot the last Somali Pirate in the Chest with his Colt Revolver)_

SWAT, one of the toughest police forces around

_(We see the last KGB get sniped by the SWAT's Remington 700)._

The Mafia, masters of urban crime

_(We see the mafia boss take the shotgun and blow off the Spetsnaz leader's head)_

The CIA, America's greatest assassins

_(We see Al Capone's face blow off by an Exploding Cigar)_

The Nazi SS, ruthless fanatics with a taste for death

_(We see the Nazi Commander burn the Taliban Leader with his Flammenwerfer 41)_

The Navy SEALS, the greets military force from America

_(We see the Navy Seal commander kill the Green Beret commander with a few SIG Saucer shots to the chest)_

The Israeli Commandos, Israel's top Special Forces

_(We see the GSG-9 killed by a Semtex bomb)_

_**But That Was Last Season!**_

**Will these Warriors be able to maintain their superior status? Or will they soon fall from their pedestals? Will the Losers rise from the ashes of defeat, to seize victory? It's time to find out, on this, the beginning of the next season of: **

**THE DEADLIEST WARRIOR!**

**We'll start off this season; by brining back two modern day fighters who triumphed over their lesser foes. They both want victory, but only one of them can have it! In this fist half of the Back For Blood special, let's put these modern day warriors to the test! **

**Deadliest Warrior, Chapter 23: IRA vs. Medellin Cartel**

_Narrator: _

The Irish Republican Army; unstoppable urban guerillas who waged a bloody savage war for Irish independence. The IRA have proved themselves before, when they blasted the Yakuza off the street and straight into the morgue.

(We see the IRA blowing up a Yakuza base).

_Narrator: _

The Medellin Cartel; Colombia's killer drug lords who built the world's largest cocaine empires. The Medellin Cartel have already expanded their empire once before in the DW circuit, when they killed a group of Viet Cong who dared opposed them.

(We see the Viet Cong boss blow sky high with a Car Bomb).

**WHO IS DEADLIEST?**

To find out, our world class fighters are testing histories most lethal weapons. Using 21st century science, we'll see what happens when the two warriors go toe to toe. No rules. No safety. No mercy. It's a duel to the death, to decide who is...THE DEADLIEST WARRIOR!

IRA:

Height - 5' 11"

Weight - 180 LBS

Armor - None

Gear - 30 LBS

Wins: 1 (Yakuza)

Medellin Cartel:

Height: 5' 9"

Weight: 175 LBS

Crimes: Cocaine Trafficking

Reign Of Terror: 1975 - 1993

Wins: 1 (Viet Cong)

_Narrator: _Here in the Fight Club, we take four weapons used by Irish Republican Army:

Sling Shot

AR-15 Armalite

LPO-50 Flame Thrower

Nail Bomb

_Narrator: _and pit them against the weapons of the notorious drug cartel:

Machete

M60 Machine Gun

Mini Uzi

Car Bomb

_Narrator: _Since both of these warriors have already entered our arena before, we can forgo the testing of said weapons, and skip right to judging. Any tests we need to do will be done at the team's discretion.

_Narrator: _First, the most basic weapons in are warriors arsenal: The IRA Slingshot, and the Cartel Machete. Team, your thoughts?

Geoff: I think that while the slingshot has potential to be lethal, it just isn't in the same league as the Machete.

Max: Agreed. When this goes into the simulation, we're going to start seeing hits from the slingshot first, but I'm willing to bet the Machete will get the first kill.

Dr. Dorian: So we're all agreed then? Because it only has a small area where it can be deemed effective, and lacks lethality, we give the close range edge to the Machete.

Edge: Medellin Cartel

_Narrator: _Our next test, our combatants will use show off their heavy duty firearms: The Cartel M60 Machine Gun and the IRA AR-15 Armalite.

Geoff: I'm just saying it now, I loved the AR-15. It just felt so right.

Dr. Dorian: I don't Geoff, M60 seemed, to me anyway, to have a lot more stopping power then the Armalite.

Max: But if I recall the M60 jammed twice during testing. Just once is bad; twice is a disaster. The Armalite only jammed after we had to literally poured water down the barrel. My vote also goes to the Armalite.

Edge: IRA

_Narrator: _The third test will be to test out two very different mid range weapons: IRA Flamethrower against the Cartel's Mini Uzi

Geoff: Wouldn't it be better to use a different IRA weapon here? Like the Webley or the HK?

Max: Actually, while the Webley is a gun, it's not the same class of gun as the Mini Uzi. A standard revolver against an Uzi would be rather unfair. And the sniper riffle is the wrong range for this test.

Dr. Dorian: I have to agree with Max here.

Geoff: Okay, that being said, I think the LPO is a horrific weapon. You said it yourself doc, even if you get out of the flames, once it hits you, you're pretty much done.

Dorian: That's true, but I think since the Uzi has a greater range and more fire power, it has an edge over the LPO regardless.

Max: And I agree. I love the LPO but the Mini Uzi seems like it'd hit the IRA before they ever had the chance to use it.

Edge: Medellin Cartel

_Narrator: _For out final test, things get explosive as our two teams try to give the most bang for the buck with: The Medellin Car Bomb and the IRA Nail Bomb.

Dr. Dorian: I think, if we compare these two, I'd go with the Nail Bomb. While the explosion is not as big, the shrapnel more then makes up for it.

Geoff: And when you think about it, the Car Bomb is so situational. The IRA's bomb at least has a little more versatility then that.

Max: Yeah, but come on, the size of the Car Bomb's explosion is enough to take out a whole group of people.

Geoff: Yeah, on both sides. My vote to the Nail Bomb

Dr. Dorian: Agreed.

Edge: IRA

_Narrator: _With all the testing complete, Max Geiger uploads the data gathered from the tests into the battle simulation, developed by Slitherine Studio, to simulate a battle to the death between these two warriors. To make sure that victory isn't snatched by a single lucky blow, the battle will be simulated 1000 times. Who will win in this battle of opposites? The IRA, who fight for friend and country? Or the Medellin Cartel, who fight for power and profit?

Close Range Edge: Medellin Cartel's Machete

Primary Firearm Edge: IRA Armalite

Secondary Firearm Edge: Medellin Cartel Mini Uzi

Explosive Weapon Edge: IRA Nail Bomb

It's time to find out which warrior is truly the deadliest. Max hits the button on the computer, and suddenly the screen goes "Matrix" on us.

The fight takes place at a Medellin Cartel hideout in the dead of night. Inside, no salsa music was playing, as the Cartel was conducting serious business. They were getting ready to move a large amount of drugs to the streets of Ireland. After they had set up the base in Vietnam, they had moved northward. Like in 'nam, they were encountering some resistance in the form of the IRA; but the Cartel weren't really that worried.

Meanwhile, outside the hideout, five IRA agents made their way toward the place. The IRA felt confidant they could take out the Cartel. This wasn't the first crime syndicate that had tried to taint Ireland with it's presence. The head of this particular squad had been the one to plant and detonate the bombs that destroyed the Yakuza gang base.

Outside the hideout, the leader ordered two of his men to start their plan. Both men took out their slingshots, and fired several metal pellets through a window. The glass smashed, and they could hear the Cartel inside yelling out. A moment later, a hail of bullets shot out the window in retaliation, but by then the IRA had moved on.

The Head Cartel nodded to two of his men, ordering them to check on the situation. They both took out their Mini Uzis and headed outside. After a moment, he hears a shout, and sees a stream of fire shoot past the destroyed window. Deciding that now would be the time to get out now, the Cartel Boss took his last two men, gathered what they could of their drug supply, and prepared to leave.

Slightly Earlier Outside:

The two cartel walked cautiously outside, clutching their guns. Hearing a rustle in the bushes, the turned and opened fire. For a moment all was still, it looked like they had overreacted. Then, one of the Cartel heard a loud whooshing sound, and felt a heat coming from behind him. Not stopping to see what it was saved his life, as he dove out of the way just in time to avoid being barbecued. His partner, however, was not so lucky. With a scream of agony, he was roasted to the bone.

Turning over on the ground, the Cartel started to fire his Uzi again. While it would have been hard to pick out the IRA attackers due to their camouflage, the one with the LPO on his back was easy to spot. He was also easy to hit, as the Cartel proved when he pumped the man's chest full of lead. A second IRA appeared behind him, and managed to hit him in the eye with a slingshot pellet. He fired in that direction, but the IRA was already gone. While in pain, and blinded in one eye, the man still managed to get back inside the building.

**IRA: 4**

**Cartel: 4**

The Cartel boss and two of his men rush to exit the building, but before they can, two IRA gunmen smash through the windows and open fire with their AR-15s. Boss the boss and his right hand man go right, heading out a side door. The other Cartel dives behind a stack of crates, knocking over a table with an M60 on it. Grabbing it, he moved around the crates, sticking to the shadows as much as possible. When he was close enough, he leapt out, firing his Machine Gun at the IRA. The IRA leader managed to dive out of the line of fire; but his second in command was not as lucky. The bullets riddled his chest, and he fell to the floor dead. Rolling over, the IRA commander fires back from the floor. The Cartel is hit in the shoulder, but his gun jams before he can fire back. A second burst from the Armalite pierces the Cartel's head, ending his life.

Looking over his shoulder, the IRA nods to his fellow IRA who had just climbed in through the shattered window. The man informs him that everything is ready. Walking over to their fallen comrade, the second IRA reaches down and takes his gun. Together, they follow after the Medellin Cartel Boss.

**IRA: 3**

**Cartel: 3**

Deeper in the building, the IRA with the slingshot was walking the halls; his slingshot pocketed in favor of the assault rifle. Following secretly behind him, was the now one-eyed Cartel member. The Cartel snuck from the shadows, Mini Uzi in one hand, a Machete in the other. He planned to kill the IRA with the Machete, so that he could cause this little bastard the same pain that was inflicted on him.

Deciding the this was the time, he raised his Machete and charged. Hearing his footsteps, the IRA turned and fired when he saw the Cartel. A few struck his stomach, but the Cartel was in to much of a blind rage to care. Before he could fire some at the Cartel's face, the mad man was on him. With a single swing, he'd separated the gun from the man, along with the entire arm. The IRA backpedaled as quickly as he could, staring at his bloody stump of an arm. Before he could flat out run however, the Cartel pumped a few rounds from his Mini Uzi into the larger man's legs. The IRA collapsed to the ground, crying out in pain. He looked up just in time to the Machete stabbing through him.

Removing his weapon from his dead foe. He turned and started to walk off. But his vision was becoming blurry, and he was starting to feel cold and numb. Looking down, he saw that the bullet wounds to his stomach were worse then he'd first thought. Stumbling, he fell flat on his face, his eyes suddenly very heavy. He tried to push himself up, put found that he lacked the strength. Deciding he just needed a quick rest, he closed his eyes and blacked out. From there it didn't take long for him to bleed out from his wounds.

**IRA: 2**

**Cartel: 2**

-Earlier-

After they ducked into cover, the Cartel boss saw that they were in the buildings garage. Right now only his seconds car was here, which suited the boss just fine. He really didn't fancy doing what he was about to do to _his_ car. Reaching into his overcoat, the boss took out a bungle of TNT. Hearing footsteps heading toward them, he tossed the bundle into the back seat of the car, before rushing out through an adjacent door, and slamming it shut.

-Present-

The two IRA walked into the garage. They had heard the door slam, so they planned to keep following. But as they walked past the car, one of the IRA happened to look into the car. His eyes widened when he saw the bundle of dynamite that looked like it was about to go off. He shouted a warning to his boss, who ordered they double back.

At the same time, the Cartel boss had heard them come in, and when he figured they would be close to the car, hit the detonation switch.

Back in the room, the bundle began to beep rapidly as it prepared to detonate. Knowing they didn't have much time, the IRA tried to flee just as the bomb exploded. The IRA leader had been closer to the door, so he was thrown out, sore but alive. The other, who had been closer to the bomb blast, was thrown into the wall, where he snapped his neck. After checking his solider's pulse, the IRA leader was forced to carry on.

**IRA: 1**

**Cartel: 2**

Running through the maze of hallways, the Cartel boss found his way back to the main entrance, the exit door just feet away. Just as he was about to run to open it, he stopped himself. These IRA guys were know for their deviousness, and setting up booby-traps. Instead, he ordered his second to open it for him.

Just as he was about, the IRA leader came flying around the corner, his Armalite blazing. Never one to be outgunned, the Cartel boss took two Mini Uzi from his coat and returned fire. While the two of them were engaged in a battle of bullets, the Cartel's second in command decided that now would be a good time to beat a hasty retreat. He ran as fast as his legs would carry him to the exit, and threw the door wide open.

Now, what none of the Cartel could possible know, was that before the battle ever really got started, one of the IRA had rigged the exits of the building with powerful Nail Bombs. That was why the IRA had come through the windows. Because if the doors were opened, they would…

!

**IRA: 1**

**Cartel: 1**

The Cartel boss was throw to floor by the force of the explosion, shards of shrapnel cutting at him from behind. He realized that he'd been right about the door, and that because of that, he was know alone in this fight. He reached out to pick up the guns he'd dropped, but they were kicked out of reach. He looked up to see the IRA leader glaring at him with a mean look in his eye. Before he could say anything, the IRA gunned him down, not blinking as a flick of blood landed on his black ski mask.

His task done, the IRA headed outside through the now smoking exit. He steeped over the pieces of the nail riddled Cartel that lay by it, and proceeded to run off to the meeting point. Even though his heart was heavy, he knew that this had been an important victory. Raising his hand, he shouted to the heavens: IRELAND!

Winner: IRA

IRA: 520

AR-15: Armalite: 315

Nail Bomb: 130

LPO-50 Flame Thrower: 70

Slingshot: 5

Medellin Cartel: 480

Mini Uzi: 190

M60 Machine Gun: 130

Car Bomb: 100

Machete: 60

_Narrator: _In this climactic battle, it was the IRA that gunned their way to victory over the Medellin Cartel. Once again, his best weapon was the Armalite, which scored over half the kills in the simulation.

Geoff: I'm actually surprised that the IRA won this fight. I thought that the Medellin Cartel had the better weapons.

Dr. Dorian: I'm actually not surprised. The IRA are great at working in small groups. They're used to taking on better armed and better funded groups of people.

Max: I agree. Also, if you break it down it comes out like this: The Machete was easily better then the Slingshot. The M60, while powerful was faulty, and the AR-15 is at the very least equal to the Mini Uzi. I think the two bombs are relatively equal, but perhaps the nail shrapnel was what pushed it over the edge. And that just leaves the LPO. And as Geoff mentioned, the LPO is a horrific weapon on the battlefield, even if it does leave the one holding it in a precarious position.

Dr. Dorian: Exactly. But despite all that, the Cartel actually seemed to do pretty good in this fight. They didn't win, but they got closer then the Yakuza did.

_We see the IRA back at the hideout. While his superiors are happy that he'd managed to take out his high priority target, they are annoyed that he managed to lose his entire squad. Already, the IRA is training his next team, hoping that the next time they are sent out on a mission, things will go much smoother. _

**The End. **

**But Stay tuned! The Second half of this back for blood is not far off, where we will bring back two Ancient Warrior Winners! **


	27. Back For Blood PT 2: Ancient

**And now it is time for the thrilling conclusion of this Back For Blood Special! This time around, we bring you the Ancient fight, where warriors of ages past come to test there mettle.  
**

**So without further ado, It is time to begin Part Two of Back For Blood!**

_Disclaimer: I don't own Deadliest Warrior; but I wish I did. _

**Deadliest Warrior, Chapter 24: Knight vs. Roman Centurion**

_Narrator: _

A Knight; sword wielding slayer of the medieval age. Last time around, the Knight showed his stuff, by leaving the Mongol a bloody corpse on the ground.

(We see the Knight impale the Mongol with his sword).

_Narrator: _

Roman Centurion; killer commander whose brutal assaults lead rome to conquer the world. The Centurion has already fought off and killed the solider of one empire, the Ming Warrior. Will tonight make his second?

(We see the Centurion Commander stab the Ming in the heart).

**WHO IS DEADLIEST?**

To find out, our world class fighters are testing histories most lethal weapons. Using 21st century science, we'll see what happens when the two warriors go toe to toe. No rules. No safety. No mercy. It's a duel to the death, to decide who is...THE DEADLIEST WARRIOR!

Knight

Year: 1423

Height: 5' 11"

Weight: 180 LBS

Armor: Plate

Win(s): (1): Mongol

Roman Centurion

Year: 120 AD

Height: 5' 8"

Weight: 170 LBS

Armor: Chain Mail

Win(s): (1): Ming Warrior

_Narrator: _Here in the Fight Club, we take four weapons to be used by the Knight:

Morning Star

Crossbow

Halberd

Broadsword

_Narrator: _and put them to the test against the weapons of the Roman Centurion:

Dolabra

Plumbata

Pilum

Gladius

_Narrator: _Since both of these warriors have already entered our arena before, we can forgo the testing of said weapons, and skip right to judging. Any tests we need to do will be done at the team's discretion.

_Narrator: _For our first test, these two soldiers will be testing out their special weapons: The Knight's Morning Star, and the Centurion's Dolabra.

Max: I'm calling it right now, I think that the Knight is to heavily armored to be affected by anything the Centurion can throw at him.

Geoff: Please, just look at the Dolabra. That weapon was able to pierce the armor of the Rajput, it should be able to pierce the Knight's armor.

Dr. Dorian: Well, let's check it out.

Fred set up the Knight's armor on the dummy while Bob went to pick up his Dolabra. Giving it a few test swings, he charged at the dummy and swung as hard as he could at the helmet. The Dolabra struck it dead center, and Bob could practically feel it pierce through to the gel head. Removing the weapon, he stepped back to allow Dr. Dorian to examine the wound.

Dr. Dorian: Well, it's official, it did pierce the helmet, and this wound does look pretty serious. In my opinion, this would be a fatal wound.

Now it's Fred's turn, who straps on the protective gear needed to properly and safely wield a Morning Star. His dummy was wearing Centurion chain-mail. Twirling the deadly metal sphere, he lashed out at the dummy's helmet, leaving a large dent. Spinning it again, he lashed out at the torso. The chain-mail kept the Star from tearing the flesh away, but it did leave a large bruise on the ribs.

Dr. Dorian: Looking at the wound to the chest, I conclude that this wound, while painful, is not lethal. It may be somewhat debilitating later on, but is not immediately life threading. As for the head wound, this may cause a minor concussion, possibly some greater head trauma. But this is the type of wound that may kill you hours or even days later, not the type that lays you out flat for good. My vote for Special Weapon goes to the Dolabra.

Geoff: I second that motion, if the Dolabra can pierce the Knight's armor, that can be a major game changer.

Edge: Roman Centurion

_Narrator: _For our next test will pit the two warriors long range weapons against each other: The Centurion Scop-

Dr. Dorian: Actually we've decided to change that.

_Narrator: _What?

Geoff: Yeah, it occurred to us that having a siege weapon in a battle between two individual warrior was kind of stupid.

Max: I'm not sure what we thinking back then, but we're ready to make amends. We've now chose a much more appropriate weapon for the Centurion to wield in singular combat. Here (Max hands the revised script to the Narrator)

_Narrator: _Yes, well…. Long range weapons are: The Centurion's Plumbata against the Knight's Crossbow.

Dr. Dorian: Now, taking this new weapon into consideration, I think we should see how these two weapons fair against opposing armor. Agreed?

Max: Alright

Geoff: Let's do it.

Fred readies his Crossbow for the test. He had three targets: The Centurion shield, the helmet, and the chain-mail covered body.

Like everyone suspected, the Crossbow bolt bounced off the Centurion's shield. But when it hit the helmet, it not only pierce it, but actually knocked it off the mannequins head. Finally, the bolt easily pierced the chest of the dummy, going straight through the heart.

Then came Bob, who had been familiarizing himself with the Plumbata, a heavy dart like weapon. On a basic unarmored gel dummy, the Darts looked pretty dangerous. Like Fred, he had the same three targets. And…. despite the desire of the DW team to do well, it failed to do significant damage to any of the targets. The Knight's plate armor was too much for the darts.

Dr. Dorian: Well, I think the tests say it all. The Crossbow is much deadlier then the Plumbata.

Max: Which is a shame because, despite my desire to see the Knight triumph, I really did want this weapon to do well.

Geoff: Agreed, but that's just not what happened. Maybe next time.

Edge: Knight

_Narrator: _The third test for have our warriors using their mid range weaponry: The Knight's Halberd and the Centurion's Pilum.

Dr. Dorian: I don't think we're going to need the test for this one. The Pilum has similar properties to other weapons like the Glaive and the Naginata. Neither one of those would be much of a threat to the armor. I simply don't think that the Pilum would be either.

Max: You're right, there are only a few very small spots that the Pilum could be affective. Compare that to the Halberd, and the choice is obvious.

Edge: Knight

_Narrator: _For our final test, the two will come up close and personal with their short range weapons: the Centurion's Gladius against the Knight's Broadsword.

Geoff: I like the Gladius for this one guys. The blade may be shorter, but it's got much greater maneuverability, and the blade's are about the same width, with similar sharpness levels.

Max: Yeah, but what about armor, the Broadsword would make mince meat out of that chain-mail.

Geoff: Maybe, but take speed and tactics into account. Your Knight is going to be weighed down by his armor, and that swords not exactly light.

Dr. Dorian: What are you saying?

Geoff: Just that, maybe, the Gladius works better for the Centurion then the Broadsword does for the Knight.

Max: …

Dr. Dorian: Well, we need to give the Centurion a second edge anyway, so what the hell, I'll go with it.

Max: You can't be serious.

Geoff: Sorry man, but you can't rely on armor for everything.

Edge: Roman Centurion

_Narrator: _With all the testing complete, Max Geiger uploads the data gathered from the tests into the battle simulation, developed by Slitherine Studio, to simulate a battle to the death between these two warriors. To make sure that victory isn't snatched by a single lucky blow, the battle will be simulated 1000 times. Who will win in this battle of soldiers? The Knight, one of the greatest warriors of the medieval age? Or the Centurion, a commander for one of history's greatest armies?

Close Range Edge: Centurion's Gladius

Mid Range Edge: Knight's Halberd

Long Range Edge: Knight's Crossbow

Special Weapon Edge: Centurion's Dolabra

It's time to find out which warrior is truly the deadliest. Max hits the button on the computer, and suddenly the screen goes "Matrix" on us.

This fight takes place in the middle of the woods at night. The Centurion Commander sits by a fire, sharpening his Gladius. He has recovered from the wounds he receive in the battle against the Ming Warriors, and is now back in pristine condition. He has all off his weapons with him, except his Scorpion, which had been abandoned at the battle site. After all, for one man to lug around a siege weapon would be really stupid. Luckily, he had been able to replace it by buying some Roman Plumbata from a merchant. Soon, he would make his way back to his commanding officer to receive his next assignment.

Suddenly a figure emerged from the woods, clad in black and gold armor. It was a Knight, a shield in one hand and a crossbow in the other. The two warriors looked at one another for a moment before the Knight spoke: "You are trespassing on the King's land. State your name, and be quick about it." he spoke with an authoritative tone. The Centurion just rolled his eyes and chuckled darkly at the Knight's attitude.

"Begone form here, fool. I have no time to waste on one such as you." he said dismissively. "Besides" he added "Soon all this land will belong to the Roman Empire, so really, you might as well tell you 'king' to vacate these lands if he wishes to keep his pathetic life." he said with a mean-spirited grin. The Knight stood stock still, barely comprehending what he heard. He was filled with a mix of annoyance for the lack of respect, fear for the threat of invasion, and boiling anger for the disrespect shown to his King.

"An invasion? No! Then I am afraid that makes you an enemy of my Lord's kingdom. Which means that now is the time you DIE!" he cried out aiming and firing his Crossbow at the Centurion, who deflected the bolt off of his shield. He returned fire by tossing several Plumbata at the Knight, but the all just bounced off his plate armor.

When the Knight ran out of bolts and the Centurion ran out of darts, the Knight unsheathed his Broadsword, while the Centurion took out his Dolabra. The Centurion slammed his weapon against the Knight's shield, to no effect. The Knight tried to take his enemies head off, but the Centurion's lighter armor allowed him to move quickly enough to avoid the death blow. Turning the Dolabra in his hand, the Centurion used it to pull the shield out of the way long enough for him to bury the weapon in the Knight's shoulder. The Knight responded by uppercutting the Centurion with the shield, knocking him away, but leaving the Dolabra stuck.

The Knight took the weapon out and broke it over his leg. He then let go of his shield so he could use both hands for the Broadsword. While the Knight was doing that the Centurion had gone back to his campfire and took up his Pilum. The two warriors clashed again, and the Centurion used his pole-arm to knock the Broadsword aside and stab the Knight in the exposed part of his armpit. He pulled it out and tried to stab the Knight in the throat, but the Knight ducked his head to the side in time. The Knight slammed his sword down on the Centurion, but the roman used his shield to block the strike. As the sword bounced back from recoil, the Centurion stepped back and used his Pilum to stab the Knight in the elbow. The Knight cried out in pain, distracting him long enough for the Centurion to slam into him with the shield. The Knight stumbled back, dropping his Broadsword in the process.

When the Centurion went to stab again, the Knight managed to catch it, and pulled the Centurion forward. When the Centurion was close enough, the Knight delivered a devastating head butt. As the Centurion winced from the pain, the Knight punched him in the gut, and pulled the Pilum out of his hand, tossing it across the field. The Centurion swung his shield as he quickly stepped back, heading to where his last weapon lay. The Knight did the same, turning and running back behind a tree. He strapped the Halberd to his back, but kept the Morning Star out. The two warriors, having gained their second wind, reentered the battle.

The Centurion raised his battered shield up to block a strike from the spiked ball. He lashed out with his Gladius, only managing a slight scratch on the Knight's armor. Swinging again, the Knight's Morning Star struck the Centurion in the side of his helmet, making his ears ring. He wasn't seriously hurt, but he was hurt none the less. Before he could react, the Knight struck him in the chest with the Morning Star, and only his chain mail saved him from the worst of the damage.

Fighting through the pain, the Centurion lunged forward past the Knight's guard, and stabbed him viciously in the side, just under his chest armor. The Knight stumbles back, his empty hand over the wound. The Centurion slashes out, and the Knight struggles to meet him with the Morning Star. The chain on the weapon wraps around the Gladius, and when the Centurion pulls the sword back, he takes the Knight's weapon with him.

Left with no other options, the Knight takes a few hasty steps back and, using both hands, readies his Halberd. Steadying himself, the Knight blocks out the pain and prepares to finish off his foe. Raising the deadly weapon, the Knight strikes an overhead blow, which of course the Centurion blocks. The Centurion is surprised by the weight behind the attack, and the blow to his arm causes some bones to crack. Before he can lower the shield, the Knight has pulled back and jabs foreword. The spike on top of the Halberd is easily able to pierce through Roman Chain Mail.

The Centurion grunts in pain, and slashes with his Gladius in response. The Knight blocks with the handle of his Halberd, then follows up with a blow to the Centurion's sword arm. The blade of the Halberd buries deep, and the Centurion is luck not to lose an arm. The Centurion is left with a difficult choice. In a moment his sword arm will fail, and he will not be able to keep a hold of his sword. If he switches hands, he will be able to continue the fight; but he will also be left without his trusty shield. But the Centurion knows that while not having a shield in a fight is bad; not having a sword is worse. He makes the choice, and drops the shield and takes the Gladius with his good arm.

The Centurion side steps another heavy swing from the Halberd, and makes a stab at the Knight's exposed side. Having already felt the effects of that trick once before, the Knight jumps back before the Gladius cuts too deep.

But the Knight has had enough, steeling himself, he charges the Centurion with his Halberd raised. Knowing he can't take the steel juggernaut head on, the Centurion goes to jump to the side. He almost makes it, but the Knight still slams into his side, sending the Roman spinning on his heel like a top. Turning, the Knight sweeps the Centurion off his feet with the Halberd. The Centurion lands hard, but still manages to roll out of the way of the Halberd as it comes crashing to earth.

Before he can stand the Knight kicks him right in the teeth, sending back on his back. The Knight steps on the Centurion's chest, and raises his Halberd. The Centurion, grips his Gladius and stabs the Knight in the back of the leg, causing the Knight to stumble, but not fall. The next moment the Halberd comes down and severs the Centurion's good arm.

The Centurion looks up at the Knight, a look of hatred on his face. As the Knight's Halberd goes to cut him down, he cries "Long Live the Glory of the Emp-" and his silenced as the Halberd's blade makes it's home in the Centurion's face.

Stepping back, the Knight looks at his fallen foe. Bowing his head briefly in respect for the dead, the Knight turns and limps away, knowing that he must tend to his injuries and report to his master.

Winner: Knight!

Knight: 507

Halberd: 252

Crossbow: 145

Broadsword: 75

Morning Star: 35

Roman Centurion: 493

Gladius: 240

Dolabra: 200

Pilum: 33

Plumbata: 20

_Narrator: _In this battle of two dedicated soldiers, it was the Knight, surprisingly, who came out on top; managing to redeem himself from his earlier defeat. But it was a very close call. The Knight only just scraped up a victory; with 507 kills. The Centurion certainly wasn't far behind, with only a total of 14 points of separation.

Max: Did I call it or what?

Geoff: Don't get cocky, look at how close that was, it was almost to close to call in my opinion.

Dr. Dorian: True, but that's because these two warriors are very similar to one another, that it's to be expected for them to be relatively well matched. I thought the match could go either way honestly.

Max: Yeah, but in the end the Knight's plate armor proved to be the best advantage over the Centurion, rendering half of his weapons relatively useless!

_We see the Knight resting at an inn. His wounds have been bandaged, and now he is resting before he makes his journey back to his master's castle. In the corner of the room, the Knight's armor sits, cleaned and well cared for. But also amongst the Knight's possessions, is a trophy. The Gladius of the fallen Centurion Commander sits proudly in it's new sheath, right next to the Knight's own Broadsword. _

**The End. **

**And there you have it folks! And this is just the beginning! Soon the next round of matches will begin, and we will all be one step closer to knowing: WHO IS DEADLIEST!**

**Next Time: Season 2 Begins!  
**


	28. Al Capone vs The Taliban

_Disclaimer: I don't own Deadliest Warrior; but I wish I did. _

**Deadliest Warrior, Chapter 25: Al Capone vs. Taliban**

** Redemption Match!**

**What's that you ask? Why, this is a match where warriors who have already fallen in earlier battles get a second chance. The warrior in question may be called upon to face a fellow loser or, in some cases, to try his luck against a different winner! This means the fights aren't just about life. No! They are about regaining honor, integrity, and pride in one's self!  
**

_Narrator: _

Al Capones' Gang; the ruthless gangster whose criminal empire bloodied the streets of depression-era Chicago. Last time around, Al Capone found out the consequences to his actions, when he was assassinated by the CIA

(We see Al Capone's face blown off by an Exploding Cigar).

_Narrator: _

Taliban; hard lying religious extremist, who back their beliefs with bullets. Last time, the Taliban tried to spread their influence to a war torn 1940s Germany, but were quickly routed by Hitler's elite shock troops; the Nazi SS.

(We see the Nazi SS commander set the Taliban commander on fire with his Flammenwerfer 41).

**WHO IS DEADLIEST?**

To find out, our world class fighters are testing histories most lethal weapons. Using 21st century science, we'll see what happens when the two warriors go toe to toe. No rules. No safety. No mercy. It's a duel to the death, to decide who is...THE DEADLIEST WARRIOR!

Al Capone Gang

Reign of Terror: 1922 - 1931

Members :10 - 20

Crimes: Bootlegging & Murder

Lost: (1) CIA

Taliban

Height - 5' 9"

Weight - 160 LBS

Armor - None

Gear - 20 LBS

Lost: (1) Nazi SS

_Narrator: _Here in the Fight Club, we take four weapons to be used by the famous mobster Al Capone:

Brass Knuckles

Pineapple Grenade

Submachine Gun

Stiletto Knife

_Narrator: _and see how they fair against the weapons of the fanatical Taliban:

RPG-7

PMN Mine

AK-47

Bayonet

_Narrator: _Since both of these warriors have already entered our arena before, we can forgo the testing of said weapons, and skip right to judging. Any tests we need to do will be done at the team's discretion.

_Narrator: _To start off, our teams will be testing out these two warriors primary firearms: Al Capone's Submachine Gun against the Taliban's AK-47.

Max: This hardly seems fair.

Geoff: I know, the AK-47 is clearly the superior weapon. It's an assault rifle for God's sake.

Max: What? No, I meant pitting simple mobsters to terrorists.

Geoff: Nah, that's fine. Anyway, I think the AK gets the obvious edge.

Max: Well hold on, if we're going to do this, I think the maybe the edge should go to the machine gun for it's higher round capacity.

Dr. Dorian: Looking at the two weapons, I personally think that the differences are pretty arbitrary. But in the end, I will go with the AK, because I think it possess more stopping power then Sub.

Edge: Taliban

_Narrator: _For the second tests, the two will be testing out their respective explosive weapons: The Taliban PMN Mine against Capone's Pineapple Grenade.

Max: This one has to go to Capone. The PMN Mine is a stationary explosive, while the Pineapple Grenade is more mobile.

Dr. Dorian: But if I remember correctly, the grenade was capable of causing collateral damage. The mine is only going to kill whoever stands on it.

Geoff: Yeah, but I think Max is right, there is no guarantee that the mine will kill anyone, with the Grenade, the chance is much higher.

Edge: Al Capone

_Narrator: _For the third test, our we will be getting down and dirty, as our two warriors get up close and personal with: Al Capone's Stiletto Knife against the Taliban's Bayonet.

Max: I never got the Bayonet. If you have a gun, just shoot it.

Geoff: True, but shouldn't the gun element make the Bayonet the deadlier weapon?

Dr. Dorian: Not exactly. If we are looking at the two weapons for what they are, two different knives, then we should compare them like they are two different knives. While the Stiletto Knife perhaps has a longer blade, the Bayonet is still a better Knife.

Geoff: If that's the case, I pick the Bayonet, because I think it's the more lethal weapon.

Max: And I pick the Stiletto because I think it works better for its intended purpose then the Bayonet.

Geoff: I'm not sure that makes since….

Dr. Dorian: Either way, it's still two to one, edge to the Bayonet

Edge: Taliban

_Narrator: _For our final test, we will compare the special weapons our the two teams: The Taliban's RPG-7 against Capone's Brass Knuckles… oh God not this again.

Max: How does that keep happening?

Geoff: I don't know, but I think that next time we really need to get that fixed.

Dr. Dorian: True, but for now, we have to go with what we have, which is a very obvious choice. The special goes to the RPG-7.

Edge: Taliban

_Narrator: _With all the testing complete, Max Geiger uploads the data gathered from the tests into the battle simulation, developed by Slitherine Studio, to simulate a battle to the death between these two warriors. To make sure that victory isn't snatched by a single lucky blow, the battle will be simulated 1000 times. Who will win in this battle gun totting killers? Al Capone, the leader of one of history's most deadly gangs? Or the Taliban, who kills anyone who dares to question their authority or resist their power?

Close Range Edge: Taliban's Bayonet

Primary Firearm Edge: Taliban's AK-47

Explosive Weapon Edge: Capone's Pineapple Grenade

Special Weapon Edge: Taliban's RPG-7

It's time to find out which warrior is truly the deadliest. Max hits the button on the computer, and suddenly the screen goes "Matrix" on us.

This fight takes place in Afghanistan. In one of the nicer hotels of the country, Al Capone sits, tired after having fled the US after an attempt on his by the CIA. Capone still isn't sure how he got away. He plans to stay in this place for awhile, conducting his "business" until things have cooled off in the states.

Unfortunately for Capone, his presence is not exactly a welcomed one. His business, while successful, was gaining Al Capone all sorts of enemies. Enemies like the Taliban. After their failed attempt to take root in Germany, the Taliban was none to pleased to have some infidel upstart try to start up things on their own homeland.

And that is where this match begins, Al Capone with four of his most trusted men discussing "business" while outside five Taliban cell members gather to kill him.

On a rooftop across from the hotel, a Taliban creeps, trying to remain unseen. Looking through his binoculars, he finds Capone's room, and can see the man pacing back and forth, two others in the room with him. Putting down the binoculars, the man picks up his RPG-7 and aims at the room. When he steadies his missile launcher, he fires…..

Up in the room, Capone is not happy. Business is not going well at all. Those Taliban guys were nuts. Deciding he'd go take a walk, he put on his jacket and got ready to to leave. Just as he opened the door to his room, an explosion behind him knocked him to the ground. Turning around, he saw his room in flames, a hole where his window used to be.

All around him people were screaming about the attack, and evacuating the hotel. It seemed that the Taliban had decided to bring the fight to his doorstep. Gathering his remaining men (one had been blow to pieces by the blast), and got ready to take the back exit.

**Al Capone: 4**

**Taliban: 5**

Running down one of the side stairs, the mobsters hear gunfire and angry yelling. Waiting just out of sight, they saw two Taliban members, wielding AK-47s. Seeing them duck back up the stairs, the Taliban charge up the stairs. Thinking quickly, Capone's second takes a Pineapple Grenade from his coat pocket and tosses it around the corner.

The blast sends the two Taliban flying back down the stairs. One snaps his neck and dies, while the other crashes into a table, but manages to live. Seeing one of the infidels peak around the corner, the wounded man fires at him from the ground, surprising him, and managing to hit him in the forehead. Another mobster leaps out, firing his Tommy Gun widely, angry at the death of his comrade. Luckily for him, some of his random shots manage to hit the Taliban in the chest, putting him down for good.

After making sure that no other Taliban were going to jump out at them, the Capone gang make their way toward the exit.

**Al Capone: 3**

**Taliban: 3**

Finding the emergency exit, the mobster in the lead kicks the door down. The door opens up into a seemingly empty alleyway. After surveying the land, the mobster steps outside. Right on top of a PMN Mine. The man is blow to bits and two Taliban come running from opposite ends of the alley.

**Al Capone: 2**

**Taliban: 3**

Capone and his last follower duck back into the doorway, as the Taliban approach while firing their assault riffles. Using up all their ammo, the Taliban went to use their Bayonets. Capone's second was stabbed in the stomach, and his Tommy Gun knocked from his hand as he raised it. But he fought through the pain, and kicked the Taliban in the chest, then went at him with a pair of Brass Knuckles.

The other Taliban tries to stab Capone in the throat, but Capone leans back out of the way. Reaching into his pocket, he grabs his Stiletto Knife. Grabbing the AK, he pulls the Taliban toward him, and stabs him in the throat. The man gives a fearful gurgle, before he drops down dead.

**Al Capone: 2**

**Taliban: 2**

Turning, Capone sees his second in command getting stabbed in the face with the Taliban's bayonet. The Taliban looks at Capone, his face covered with bruises and sporting a broken nose. He tries to stand, but Capone reaches the fallen Tommy Gun and fires a few rounds into his enemies chest.

**Al Capone: 1**

**Taliban: 1**

Seeing that he was the only one left in his crew, Capone lowered his head in morning. The only good to come of this was that he had somehow managed to survive the attempt on his life made by these nut-jobs.

On a different rooftop near the alley the final Taliban looks through his scope at Capone. The man was deadlier then he had expected, but now he was alone. Taking careful aim, he couldn't suppress a grin as he prepared to fire. "Goodbye, infidel…."

Capone heard the noise of something flying toward him, but had no time to do anything as the RPG-7 missile came at him. The rocket struck the ground near Al Capone's feet, blasting him backwards into a concrete wall. With every bone in his body shattered beyond repair, Al Capone died.

**Al Capone: 0**

**Taliban: 1**

On the rooftop, the Taliban threw his head back and screamed in victory, praising his lord for delivering him victory.

Winner: Taliban

Taliban: 613

AK-47: 352

RPG-7: 170

PMN: 49

Bayonet: 42

Al Capone: 387

Submachine Gun: 246

Pineapple Grenade: 124

Brass Knuckles: 9

Stiletto Knife: 8

_Narrator: _In this climactic battle of criminal against terrorist, it was the fanatical Taliban that came out on top. With an impressive score of 613 kills, they decimated the crime gang thanks to their AK-47s.

Max: Well of course they won, they had way more impressive weapons!

Dr. Dorian: True. It seems the only weapon that really served a useful purpose to the Capone gang was the Tommy Gun, and even that wasn't nearly enough.

Geoff: While Capone may have been a ruthless and powerful man in his time, against an enemy like the Taliban, he just doesn't stand a chance. He was out done, out gunned, and just plain taken out.

_We see the last Taliban, back at the hideout. He reports his success to his superiors, who are quite pleased. Afterwards, he leaves to celebrate with his comrades the death of Al Capone. _

**The End. **

**Next Time: Two of the biggest losers in the DW-verse come to blows. The Gladiator and the Maori, who will win in this battle of suck-ish-ness?  
**


	29. Maori vs Gladiator

_Disclaimer: I don't own Deadliest Warrior; but I wish I did. _

**Deadliest Warrior, Chapter 26: Maori vs. Gladiator **

** Redemption Match!**

_Narrator: _

Maori warrior; fierce, unforgiving, slayer of the south seas. The last time the Maori entered the arena, he was brutally assassinated by the Ninja.

(We see the Maori with the Ninja's Kusarigama buried in his neck).

_Narrator: _

Gladiator; Proud, thrilling killer of ancient Rome. But when the Gladiator tried to take on a Viking, he quickly found himself cut down to size.

(We see the Gladiator slump to the ground, his throat slit by the Viking's Long Sword).

**WHO IS DEADLIEST?**

To find out, our world class fighters are testing histories most lethal weapons. Using 21st century science, we'll see what happens when the two warriors go toe to toe. No rules. No safety. No mercy. It's a duel to the death, to decide who is...THE DEADLIEST WARRIOR!

Maori Warrior:

Height - 5' 9"

Weight - 180 LBS

Armor - None

Gear - 8 LBS

Lost: (1) Ninja

Gladiator:

Height - 5 ' 8"

Weight - 185 LBS

Armor - Bronze

Gear - 10 to 38 LBS

Lost: (1) Viking

_Narrator: _Here in the Fight Club, we take four weapons used by the Haka chanting islander; the Maori:

Stingray Spear

Mere

Shark Tooth Club

Taiaha

_Narrator: _and pit them against the weapons of used by the master of arena combat; the Gladiator:

Cestus

Scissor

Trident & Net

Sica

_Narrator: _Since both of these warriors have already entered our arena before, we can forgo the testing of said weapons, and skip right to judging. Any tests we need to do will be done at the team's discretion.

_Narrator: _For our first test, the two warriors will show off their close range weapons: the Maori Stingray Spear against the Gladiator's Cestus.

Geoff: Alright, today we don't need to do a lot of armor tests, because both of these warriors wear little to no armor.

Max: True, now if we compare the Spear to the Cestus, I think we should give the edge to the Spear for range.

Dr. Dorian: I disagree, I remember what happened to that side of beef after Chuck got through with it. I give the edge to the Cestus.

Geoff: I agree. Also, both of these warriors will probably try to fight through the pain, so which of these weapons will be able to cause consistent damage? Well, after one hit, the Stingray Spear breaks apart, but the Cestus can keep going. Edge to the Cestus.

Edge: Gladiator

_Narrator: _For our second test, the two teams will test out their other close range weapons: The Gladiator's Scissor and the Maori's Mere.

Dr. Dorian: I have never seen a weapon go through a side of beef like that Scissor did.

Geoff: Yeah, but do you remember the way that Mere club turned a bull's skull into powder?

Max: I remember that, that was awesome! Plus, with that kind of force behind it, it could probably smash the Gladiator's skull through his helmet. I vote for the Mere.

Edge: Maori

_Narrator: _Now things start to heat up, as our competitors unleash their some of their primary weapons: The Maori Shark Tooth Club against the Gladiator's Trident & Net combo.

Dr. Dorian: Why isn't the Taiaha going against the Trident & Net combo?

Geoff: We thought that the Maori's greatest weapon should go against the Sica.

Dr. Dorian: Why?

Max: No reason….. So anyway, my vote goes to the Trident & Net. The Shark Club may cause lasting damage, but that combo has better range and greater lethality.

Geoff: Agreed.

Dr. Dorian: I still don't know why you shuffled it, but find, edge to the Combo.

Edge: Gladiator

_Narrator: _For the final test, the two combatants will bring out their final weapons: The Gladiator's Sica faces off against the Maori's Taiaha.

Max: I think that the Taiaha should be given the edge. It has greater versatility then the Sica.

Dr. Dorian: But the Sica is a sword!

Geoff: True, but the Sica wasn't a very impressive weapon. While it will prove to advantageous against his unarmored opponent, their is only so much he can do with it. Max is right in commenting on the versatility of the Taiaha, so I second the motion for the edge.

Edge: Maori

_Narrator: _With all the testing complete, Max Geiger uploads the data gathered from the tests into the battle simulation, developed by Slitherine Studio, to simulate a battle to the death between these two warriors. To make sure that victory isn't snatched by a single lucky blow, the battle will be simulated 1000 times. Who will win in this battle of losers? The Maori, who loses in almost every simulation he's put in? Or the Gladiator, who only manages to do slightly better then his New Zealand counter-part?

Close Range Edge: Gladiator's Cestus

Mid Weapon Edge: Maori's Mere

Secondary Weapon Edge: Gladiator's Trident & Net

Primary Weapon Edge: Maori's Taiaha

It's time to find out which warrior is truly the deadliest. Max hits the button on the computer, and suddenly the screen goes "Matrix" on us.

This fight takes place in the middle of a Roman Colosseum. A Gladiator walks into the ring. He has been lucky so far. Ever since he was recaptured after the Viking bested him, rather then killing him outright, he'd been given more difficult opponents everyday.

On the opposite end of the arena, a Maori is thrown in, followed by his weapons. After the Maori was bested by the Ninja, he was captured by the Romans, who wanted him to compete in their games. Now, if he wanted to live, he would have to kill the Gladiator.

The two warriors stood eyeing one another, when the Maori began to do his Haka chant. The crowd went dead quite at the strange spectacle. When he was done, some laughed, some applauded, and others just stared. The Gladiator, thinking he was being mocked, picked up his shield and Scissor and charged the Maori. The Maori responded by picking up his Shark Club and Mere and running at the Gladiator.

The Gladiator slashed the Scissor at the islander's head, but the Maori ducked. He countered with a swing from his Shark Club, which the Gladiator blocked with his shield. Stepping back, he again swung his Scissor, but the Maori skillfully blocked with his Mere club. Stepping inside the Gladiator's guard, he swung his Shark Club at the Gladiator's exposed chest. The Gladiator jumped back, but still received a slight cut.

Lashing out with his shield, he caught the Maori with an uppercut, that knocked the Maori to his back. The Maori had to roll out of the way as the Gladiator tried to crush him with his shields boss. Before the Gladiator could right himself, the Maori struck him in the helmet with his Mere, sending a gonging sound through the arena. The Gladiator has forced to abandon his shield when he saw that the next hit would be from the Shark Club. Standing up, he swung his Scissor widely as he backup to where his other weapons lay.

Seeing his opponent retreat, the Maori decided to press his advantage, and charged his opponent. He saw the Gladiator throw his Scissor to the ground, and pick up the fearsome looking Trident. The Maori was forced to stop his charge and hastily side step the Gladiator's thrust, which still caught his side slightly.

Before the Maori could come any closer, the Gladiator whipped his net at him. It wrapped around one of the Maori's arms, ensnaring his Shark Club. The Maori tried to pull his weapon free, the teeth on the club bitting into the ropes that composed the net. Alas, it was not to be, and the Maori was forced to let go of the club in order to dodge a blow from the Trident that almost skewered him. Knowing he would need more then just his trusty Mere, the Maori turned and ran back to where the Romans had thrown his other weapons.

The Gladiator was right behind him though, and he wasn't planning to let the Maori arm himself. Taking aim, her hurled his net, which wrapped around the Maori's legs, causing him to crash to earth. The Maori had to roll quickly out of the way as the Gladiator threw his Trident like a spear, impaling the spot the Maori had been a moment before.

Somehow managing to untangle himself, the Maori grabbed the nearest weapon: his Stingray Spear. Not a moment later the Gladiator was upon him, having grabbed his Trident. Before the Gladiator could skewer him, however, the Maori reacted and stabbed at the Gladiator with his Spear. But the Gladiator was quicker and grabbed the Stingray Spear with his Cestus covered fist, before breaking it. But that moment of pause was enough for the Maori, who slammed the Gladiator in the side of the leg with the Mere, the jade club sending the man to his knees.

The Gladiator stabbed furiously with his Trident, but the Maori managed to get out of the way with only a slice across his side. The Gladiator lashed out with his fist, and caught the Maori across the face with his Cestus. The spikes leaving long scratches across the Maori's forehead. The Maori managed to hastily get to his feet, tightening the grip on his Mere. The islander raised his Mere to smash the Gladiator's head in, but finally the Gladiator managed to hit him. He struck the Maori's arm, piercing right through the forearm holding the Mere club. The Maori screamed in pain and dropped his club, clutching his bleeding arm. Now furious, he picked up his greatest weapon: his Taiaha. Twirling it with his good arm, he steadied himself as the Gladiator stood.

Deciding to try a different tactic, the Gladiator hurled his Trident like a spear, followed by charging right behind it, Sica drawn. The Maori easily sidestepped the poorly thrown Trident. He then used the bladed end of his Taiaha to deflect the Sica's swing, and the two settled into a vicious duel.

The two traded blows back and forth, before finally the Maori was forced to block an overhead swing from the Gladiator. The Sica struck the Taiaha right in the center. The blow caused the wood to crack badly, almost destroying the old staff. It was only a kick from the Maori to the Gladiator's stomach that keep the Gladiator from cutting all the way through it. Deciding to keep his enemy from going on the offensive, and began to stab at his opponent with the pointed end of his staff.

The Gladiator was forced to quickly step back, or else become a pin cushion. When the blade pieced his right shoulder, he knew he was going to have to finish the fight.

Timing his attack just right, the Gladiator watched as the Maori stabbed for his heart. Just before it reached him, he sidestepped the attack. He then lashed out with a brutal punch from his Cestus. The spiked fist struck the outstretched weapon, hitting right in the crack left by his Sica. The punch possessed so much force, that when it hit the already damaged weapon, the wood was forced to yield. The Taiaha broke under the might of the Cestus, leaving the Maori holding half a staff in his hands.

Before the Maori could drop the staff for the Mere attached to his belt, the Gladiator swung his Sica at his chest. The Maori leaned back, but still received a bloody gash across his chest.

Stepping foreword, the Gladiator punched the injured Maori in the stomach with his Cestus, the spikes cutting into flesh. As the Maori doubled over in pain, he clubbed him on the back of the head with the hilt of his sword. The Maori fell to the ground, barely clinging to consciousness. He felt a heaviness on his back, as the Gladiator placed his foot on him, pressing him into the ground.

The Gladiator looked up at his emperor, who in turn looked out at the crowds. They were all screaming at such a fantastic display. Finally, after a few moments, the emperor gave his decision: A thumbs down; death.

Nodding at his emperor, the Gladiator tightened the grip on his Sica. Rising the weapon high above his head, he then plunged the weapon downward. The Sica pierced the back to the Maori's skull, slicing through his brain and killing him instantly. The Maori had been good, the Gladiator thought ideally, but not good enough.

Stepping back from the corpse, the Gladiator raised his arms to bask in the glory of his victory. He had survived another day, and so far, the people loved him for it. He wondered how long that would last? He sighed as his captors lead him back to his holding cell. Glancing over his shoulder, he saw as another set of Romans collected the body of the Maori, which would most likely be fed to the lions.

Winner: Gladiator

Gladiator: 513

Trident & Net: 200

Sica: 150

Scissor: 83

Cestus: 80

Maori: 487

Taiaha: 195

Mere: 122

Shark Tooth Club: 120

Stingray Spear: 50

_Narrator: _In this dramatic beat-down between two of DW biggest losers, it was the Gladiator that finally came out on top. Scoring a decent 513 kills in the simulation, he can give most of his thanks to his Trident and Net combo, which scored almost half his total kills.

Max: Well it looks like even the Gladiator can be a winner, if he's fighting the Maori.

Geoff: True, and I think he won today, thanks to his superior killing arsenal. His weapons are just better at killing.

Dr. Dorian: And it's not hard to understand why. He has steel weapons, while the Maori is fighting with stones and wood. While I will admit that some warriors can pull that off, the Maori just doesn't seem able too.

Max: I wonder, will there ever be a warrior that the Maori can beat?

_We see the Gladiator back in his holding cell. Outside, his weapons are being repaired and maintained, so that they will be ready for the next day in the arena. Amongst them, is the jade club of the Maori, who felt that it should go to the Gladiator by right of conquest. A trophy that proved the Gladiator's right to live, at least, just one more day. _

**The End. **

**Next Time: One fights for honor, one fights for the thrill. The Samurai, Japan's most legendary swordsman. Vlad the Impaler, a man so evil and vile, that he inspired the tale of Count Dracula. So when the Impaler makes a visit to Japan, would it not be the Samurai's duty to put him down? Hard. Or will Vlad get to show us, and the Samurai, why he's called the 'Impaler'?  
**


	30. Vlad The Impaler vs The Samurai

_Disclaimer: I don't own Deadliest Warrior; but I wish I did. _

**Deadliest Warrior, Chapter 27: Vlad The Impaler vs. Samurai**

** Redemption Match!**

_Narrator: _

Vlad The Impaler; the medieval Romanian Prince whose insatiable thirst for blood inspired the legend of Dracula. Last time, the prince impaled Attila the Hun, and began a quest to expand his collection.

(We see Vlad ordering the impalement of Attila).

_Narrator: _

The Samurai; Japanese lightning fast dealers of death. Last time around, the Samurai failed to stop a thieving pirate, and paid for that failure, with death.

_(We see the Samurai blown back by the Pirate's Grenado). _

**WHO IS DEADLIEST?**

To find out, our world class fighters are testing histories most lethal weapons. Using 21st century science, we'll see what happens when the two warriors go toe to toe. No rules. No safety. No mercy. It's a duel to the death, to decide who is...THE DEADLIEST WARRIOR!

Vlad The Impaler

Height: 5' 9"

Weight: 170 LBS

Armor: Chain Mail, Steel Plates, Shield, Steel Helmet

Loyalty: Wallachia

Win(s): (1) Attila The Hun

Samurai

Height: 5' 3"

Weight: 135 LBS

Armor: Steel & Leather

Loyalty: Daimyo

Lost: (1) Pirate

_Narrator: _Here at the Fight Club, we take four weapons used by the Prince Of Darkness, Vlad The Impaler:

Kilij

Halberd

Steel Crossbow

Hand Cannon

_Narrator: _and pit them against the weapons used by Feudal Japan's greatest warrior: The Samurai

Katana

Naginata

Yumi

Kanabo

_Narrator: _For the first test, our two warriors will bring out their deadly blades for some close range combat: Vlad's Kilij and the Samurai's Katana.

Max: I like the Kilij for this. It's longer, and with his superior armor, Vlad clearly has the edge here.

Geoff: I disagree. I believe that the Katana easily outclasses the Kilij. Plus, the Samurai seems to be able to uses his weapon better.

Dr. Dorian: Well, I guess I break the tie. By comparing them, the armor each possesses are relatively equal, with Vlad's being only slightly better. That being said, I think that because of it's longer blade, I would give the edge to the Kilij.

Edge: Vlad The Impaler

_Narrator: _Now comes the second test, in which our warriors fire some shots off with their long range weapons: The Samurai Yumi, and Vlad's Steel Crossbow.

Dr. Dorian: No contest here, for skill, range, and accuracy, the Yumi is obviously the superior weapon.

Geoff: That's right. The Crossbow has power, but it lacks accuracy and it takes forever to reload.

Edge: Samurai

_Narrator: _Next come the third test, and things get bloody when our two teams show off their mid range weapons: The Impaler's Halberd against the Samurai's Naginata.

Max: Well, the Naginata is a lighter weapon, and can probably be used quicker.

Dr. Dorian: But how much good will it really do?

Geoff: I like the Halberd for this one. It has multiple uses, and the heaviness of the weapon will easily affect him through even his armor.

Max: Yeah, if he can hit with that massive thing.

Dr. Dorian: True, but I think the odds are in his favor. I give the mid range edge to the Halberd.

Edge: Vlad The Impaler

_Narrator: _And now comes the final test; the special weapons: The Samurai's Kanabo and Vlad The Impaler's Hand Cannon.

Max: That hand cannon is about as powerful as the pirates flintlock pistols, I think. And as we saw, they weren't particularly effective against the Samurai's plate armor.

Geoff: True, on the other hand, while I have no doubts about the Kanabo being able to put Vlad down, it's a very unwieldy weapon.

Dr. Dorian: Looking at the pros and cons of both theses weapons, I have to pick the one I know will work, even if it is slow. The special edge goes to the Kanabo.

Edge: Samurai

_Narrator: _With all the testing complete, Max Geiger uploads the data gathered from the tests into the battle simulation, developed by Slitherine Studio, to simulate a battle to the death between these two warriors. To make sure that victory isn't snatched by a single lucky blow, the battle will be simulated 1000 times. Who will win in battle of opposites? The deadly Impaler, who only fights to satisfy his terrible bloodlust? Or the honorable Samurai, who fights according to the will of Bushido?

Close Range Edge: Vlad's Kilij

Mid Range Edge: Vlad's Halberd

Long Range Edge: Samurai's Yumi

Special Weapon Edge: Samurai's Kanabo

It's time to find out which warrior is truly the deadliest. Max hits the button on the computer, and suddenly the screen goes "Matrix" on us.

This fight takes place in a poor Japanese village. A samurai makes his way to the village on horse back. There had been disturbing news of a murder in the area, and he wanted to make sure everything was secure.

But when he reached the city, he was treated to a horrible sight: The gate guards stared vacantly into space, dead and impaled at their posts. The gates were wide open, and the Samurai could tell from there that a massacre had taken place. This was not a warrior village, so few people in the town would be capable of repelling an assault. The streets were littered with dead bodies, most of them villagers. A few of the bodies appeared to be the enemy, if their strange armor was any indication. Gripping his Katana tight, the Samurai knew he had to make a judgement call. He could stay and fight to avenge these people, or go back and call for aid.

Vlad the Impaler staked the streets, surprisingly bored all things considered. The people in this town were nothing. Not one of them had been able to challenge his men, let alone him. Turning the corner though, something caught the mad man's eye. It was a Samurai, decked out in full armor, surveying Vlad's handy work. Vlad grinned. Here was someone who would surely give him a good fight.

The Samurai quickly left the city. He knew that any force that could slaughter a village would not be stopped by one man. As he approached his horse though, he started to get an ominous feeling. Just as he prepared to mount, a shot rang out, and the horse fell over, dead. The Samurai whirled around, snatching his Yumi from his now dead steed's side, and faced his attacker.

Vlad grinned, proud of his shot. He had worried that the Samurai was going to get away, so he had taken action. He aimed his Hand Cannon at the Samurai, who was pointing a bow at him. Now that he had nowhere to go, the fight would have to begin.

The Samurai wasted no time and fired an arrow at his opponent's arm, hitting him just below the shoulder. Vlad grunted as he dropped his gun, before ducking for cover. Using his other hand, he pulled out the arrow. Seeing his blood flow gave Vlad a rush, and he couldn't wait for the battle to continue. Strapping his Halberd to his back, he picked up his shield and Kilij. Taking a deep breath, Vlad left his coverage and charged the Samurai.

When Vlad had ducked behind the city wall to avoid his arrows, the Samurai knew he had to act quickly. He pulled all the weapons he could off his dead horse, while trying to keep up his guard. When Vlad charged, he was ready. He unleashed as many arrows as he could fire, but Vlad's large shield blocked most of them. One of the last did hit Vlad in his right leg though, which slowed him down somewhat. But when Vlad got to close, the Samurai was forced to drop the Yumi in favor of his Katana. He swung upwards even as he unsheathed it, the blade meeting Vlad's slightly larger Kilij with a resounding crash of steel on steel.

Vlad pushed him back, his extra hight giving him a slight strength advantage. He swung his blade in an attempt to behead the Samurai, but his blow was deflected skillfully. The next slash grazed harmlessly off the Samurai's armor. The Samurai in turn found his attempts at killing the Prince foiled by his large shield.

Locking blades again, Vlad suddenly lashed out with a kick which sent the Samurai falling backwards. Vlad sprung foreword, his blade eager for blood. Luckily for the Samurai, he managed to roll out of the way just in time. Coming up in a crouch, he spotted his Naginata right next to him. Knowing he would need to change his strategy, the Samurai quickly sheathed his sword. As Vlad charged at him, the Samurai grabbed the Naginata and stabbed foreword. This punctured the shield slightly and pushed Vlad back.

Vlad used his sword to block a stab from the Naginata, but that was what the Samurai was hoping for. Twirling the Naginata, he sent the Kilij spinning from Vlad's grasp, leaving him open for a stab from the blade. It was only the steel plates on his armor that saved him. Quickly stepping back, the Impaler was forced on the defensive as the Samurai rained blows down on his shield. Needing more room, Vlad jumped back and reached for his belt. It was here that he had tied his Steel Crossbow before the charge. He preferred his Hand Cannon, but this would do in a pinch.

Justing needing a distraction, Vlad pointed and fired with no real concern for accuracy. Therefore, both he and the Samurai were surprised when the bolt struck the Samurai right in the kneecap. The Samurai cried out in pain, giving Vlad the chance he needed. Deciding to forego all defense in exchange for an unstoppable offense, Vlad threw down his shield and picked up his Halberd.

Charging, the Samurai was just able to raise his Naginata in time to block the attack. The two weapons clashed, the tired combatants battling for dominance. Vlad went for an overhead slice, only for the Samurai to side step it. The Samurai tried to stab Vlad between his steel plates, but Vlad blocked with the body of Halberd. He then lashed out, the spike on top of the Halberd hitting dead center in the Samurai's armor, sending him stumbling back.

The Samurai grunted in pain, but used his distance to perform a wide sweep with the intent of separating Vlad's head from his shoulders. It didn't work, though Vlad did lose his helmet in the process. Vlad brought the Halberd up, and the Samurai just moved out of the way. He stabbed at Vlad's head with his Naginata, and Vlad was almost to slow to dodge. He survived, but the blade sliced off part of his ear!

The sting of his injury and the flowing of his blood spurred the madness in Vlad. Giving a fearsome battle cry he raised his Halberd high, and brought it down with all the force he could muster. The Samurai raised his weapon, but the Halberd struck the pole, breaking the weapon in two.

Vlad tried to press his advantage by thrusting foreword, but the Samurai sidestepped the attack, and punched Vlad right in the face, breaking his nose. Vlad growled and responded with a kick to the stomach, knocking the Samurai to the ground.

The Samurai landed with a thud, his hand falling on something. Looking at it, he saw it was his Kanabo! Seeing Vlad charging at him, the Samurai said a silent thank you. Vlad brought his Halberd down, only for it to stop dead when it struck the sturdy Kanabo. Vlad backed up as the Samurai stood, hauling the heavy club up with him.

Vlad tried to attack again, but every move was blocked by the Kanabo. The Samurai would try to crush Vlad, but he couldn't move fast enough now.

The two brought there weapons together in a great crash, the Kanabo slamming into the Halberd so hard Vlad actually feared for a moment that it might break. It didn't but the blow was so strong Vlad's arm went numb. The Samurai fared somewhat better, and with a great heave, knocked the Halberd away from Vlad. Then, flowing with the movement, he swept the prince's feet out from under him. Vlad landed rather painfully on his back, the wind knocked out of him. Looking up, his eyes widened as the Kanabo was about to smash his head like a melon. At the last minute though, he rolled out of the way and back to his feet. Since he was without a weapon, Vlad made a mad dash to where his Halberd had landed; the Samurai not far behind.

Vlad managed to grab his Halberd just in time. Turning around, he was forced to dodge an attack from the Samurai. But he wasn't quite fast enough, as the Kanabo just clipped his shoulder, nearly dislocating, and sending Vlad off balance. The Samurai grabs this chance and stabs the Kanabo foreword into Vlad's gut, causing him to double over in pain, as well as knocking him to the ground.

Vlad keeps ahold of his Halberd though. As the Samurai raises his club up for a finishing move, Vlad slams the Halberd's blade into the side of the Samurai's leg. The Samurai cries out, unable to complete his attack, allowing Vlad time to get back to his feet. Taking a step foreword, Vlad strikes the Samurai in the side with the staff of the Halberd, knocking him onto the ground face first.

The Samurai tries to stand, only for a blinding pain to enter his back. Twisting his neck as much as he can, his eyes widen in horror. Vlad has driven the spike at the top of his Halberd into the base of the Samurai's spine! The Samurai tries desperately to move, but it is too late. He has lost all feeling in his legs.

Vlad grins madly, his victory all but assured. With a shrill whistle, he calls out his army which had been waiting away from the warriors battle ground. Vlad had ordered them not to interfere, and the men were to scared of him to disobey. They came and did as he ordered.

The Samurai looked on as his Kanabo was taken away, and a group of men lifted him up. Slowly, he was carried back toward the dead village. Where the army had set up camp, Vlad saw more of the impaling spikes Vlad was known for. But one spike was currently occupied, and in much better shape. The Samurai didn't know it, but he was looking at the body of the late Attila the Hun. The spikes here were only meant for those who caught Vlad's interest, and managed to put up enough of a fight.

Of course, the Samurai didn't know all this. All he knew was that he was being restrained, while more men brought forth an empty stake. He tried to struggle, but without his legs or any weapons, what was to come was… inevitable.

When Vlad was done being treated for his injuries, he got up and surveyed his newest acquisition. The Samurai now hung across from his last decent opponent, a look of horror frozen on his face. Vlad's laughter filled the camp. Whatever force had driven him here had his thanks. Once more a new wonderful opponent had been delivered to him. And once more, he had come out of the battle, the victor.

Winner: Vlad The Impaler

Vlad The Impaler: 565

Kilij: 315

Halberd: 190

Hand Cannon: 50

Steel Crossbow: 10

Samurai: 435

Naginata: 150

Katana: 115

Yumi: 90

Kanabo: 80

_Narrator: _In this battle of two very different warriors, it was Vlad who once again snatched up a win. The Samurai tried his best, but even with his best weapon, the Naginata, he could not redeem himself.

Geoff: I'm not too surprised Vlad managed to pull this one. Despite the fact that his weapons lack grace, they more then make up for it in sheer power. While the Samurai easily dominated in the long range category, once things got up close and personal, Vlad's strength was enough to bag him a win. Even though both warriors were wearing decent armor, I think Vlad's was more helpful. As we've seen, chain mail is very resistant to slashing type weapons. The most surprising thing here is that the one black powder weapon actually got one of the lowest kill scores. I can only attribute that to the Hand Cannon's low reload speed, and less then perfect aiming system. Either way, both these combatants put up one heck of a fight.

_We see Vlad watching as his soldiers carefully load up his two trophies along with the rest of the supplies. He watches as the few Samurai weapons that could be recovered are placed with the other weapons he has taken. Vlad gulped down the rest of his red wine and got ready to move out. There were more warriors out there, he was sure of it. And he planned to kill every last one of them. _

**The End.**

Next Time: ... I don't know yet, but I'll let you know when I figure it out.  



	31. French Musketeer vs Apache

_Disclaimer: I don't own Deadliest Warrior; but I wish I did. _

**Deadliest Warrior, Chapter 28: French Musketeer vs. Apache**

_Narrator: _

French Musketeer, the king's ruthless personal guard, and fierce defenders of France's borders. Last time, the Musketeers took out a squad of Spartans.

(We see a French Musketeer firing his Pistol into a Spartan's face).

_Narrator: _

Apache, the fierce, scalp-taking master of death. Last time, the Apache fought and killed a fierce Zande Warrior.

(We see an Apache smash the Zande Warrior's head in with his club).

**WHO IS DEADLIEST?**

To find out, our world class fighters are testing histories most lethal weapons. Using 21st century science, we'll see what happens when the two warriors go toe to toe. No rules. No safety. No mercy. It's a duel to the death, to decide who is...THE DEADLIEST WARRIOR!

French Musketeer

Height: 5' 9"

Weight: 160 LBS

Armor: Steel Cuirass

Win(s): (1) Spartans

Apache:

Height: 5' 7"

Weight: 140 LBS

Armor: None

Win(s): (1) Zande Warrior

_Narrator: _Here in the Fight Club, we take four weapons used by the French King's guards; The Musketeers:

Rapier

Main Gauche

Wheel Lock Pistol

Flintlock Musket

Grenade

_Narrator: _And have them face off against the weapons used by the scalp-taking Native Americans; The Apaches

Tomahawk

Knife

Bow & Arrow

Northwest Trade Gun

War Club

_Narrative: _For our first test, our warriors will be bringing out their mid range weapons: The Musketeers Rapier against the Apache's Tomahawk.

Max: Alright, this first one is easy. The Rapier has better reach then the Tomahawk. Despite the fact that the Tomahawk can be thrown, it cannot get past the Steel Cuirass. This, combined with the fact that the Apache no significant armor to speak of which could deter the Rapier, means that the Rapier sword takes the first edge.

Edge: Musketeer

_Narrative: _For the second test, our warriors lock blades as they dish out damage with their short range weapons: The Apache Knife going up against the Musketeer's Main Gauche.

Geoff: The Main Gauche is meant to be used in combination with the Rapier. While it can be used by itself, it's usefulness lessens somewhat. Unlike the Apache's Knife, the Main Gauche cannot be thrown. As we've seen, the Apache's possess amazing accuracy, and would have no trouble throwing the Knives at the Musketeer's exposed vitals. For versatility as well as functionality, the Short Range edge goes to the Knife.

Edge: Apache

_Narrative: _Now the third test, where our two warriors bring out their secondary long range weaponry: The Musketeer's Wheel Lock Pistol and the Apache's Bow & Arrow.

Geoff: Alright, I think for this, we need to think about some very important aspects of the weapons: Distance, Power, Accuracy, and Reliability.

Max: Alright, well I think that if we go by reliability, then the Bow wins hands down. That Wheel Lock Pistol is seriously prone to misfire. But the Bow & Arrow are just that, bows and arrows. They can't misfire.

Dr. Dorian: I agree, but if we go by power, then the outcome is somewhat different. When the Pistol does fire, it'll go right through the Apache. The Apache has no armor to even slow the bullets down, while the arrows would never pierce the Steel Cuirass the Musketeers wear. The only option would be to aim for the exposed body parts, which limits the area for effective kills.

Geoff: That just leaves distance and accuracy.

Max: Well, the Apache's were crack shots when it came to firing arrows.

Dr. Dorian: Yes, but Musketeers were just as well trained in firearms. So they're pretty equal.

Max: Pretty equal is not the same as equal, The Apache's were on the same level as the Samurai, and those guys could take out your eyes. I think that the Pistol works best if you're aiming at a general area, not one specific area.

Dr. Dorian: But do the Musketeers really need to aim at a specific area? Their targets are unarmored.

Max: True, but in terms of accuracy alone, the Apache's are more accurate.

Dr. Dorian: Fine, but what about distance?

Max: I'd say about the same.

Dr. Dorian: Yeah, me too.

Geoff: Well, then the edge goes to the Bow & Arrow, for both its accuracy and reliability.

Edge: Apache

_Narrative: _For the fourth test, these two groups get serious, and bring out their heavy duty long rang weapons, and introduce a new weapon to the DW arsenal with: The Apache's Northwest Trade Gun. And it will be going against the Musketeer's Flintlock Musket.

Geoff: Before we test, a little history: When the first American explorers came to this great land, they brought with them hundreds of these musket style guns. And either by thievery, or in some parts of the old colonies, trade, the guns made their way into the hands of the various Native American tribes. And boy did they learn how to use 'em. After a while, the indians were as good at shooting these as they were at shooting arrows.

Dr. Dorian: Alright, but will it prove to be as deadly as the other musket?

Bob loaded the Trade Gun with the musket ball, and took aim at the target. With a simple pull of the trigger the tiny ball of metal flew from the barrel and lodged itself in the throat of the unfortunate get dummy.

Dr. Dorian: Well, that settles it, it is lethal. But somehow I doubt it will work as well against the Musketeer's armor.

Max: Yeah, but the weapons are so similar in make and model, that it would really come down to the individual, and both of these warriors are well trained in the use of these weapons.

Geoff: Well, then I guess we have a tie.

Edge: Even

_Narrative: _Now comes the final test, where the two warriors will bring out their special weapons: the Musketeer's Grenade and the Apache's War Club.

Geoff: Grenade

Dr. Dorian: Grenade

Max: Grenade

Edge: Musketeer

_Narrator: _With all the testing complete, Max Geiger uploads the data gathered from the tests into the battle simulation, developed by Slitherine Studio, to simulate a battle to the death between these two warriors. To make sure that victory isn't snatched by a single lucky blow, the battle will be simulated 1000 times. Who will win in this battle of radically different cultures? The French Musketeers, the lethal servants of the French King? Or the Apaches, one of the deadliest and most feared tribes in America?

Mid Range Edge: Musketeer Rapier

Close Range Edge: Apache Knife

Secondary Firearm Edge: Apache Bow & Arrow

Primary Firearm Edge: Tie between Musket and Trade Gun

Special Weapon Edge: Musketeer Grenade

It's time to find out which warrior is truly the deadliest. Max hits the button on the computer, and suddenly the screen goes "Matrix" on us.

This fight takes place on the American Plaines. Five French Musketeers scour the area, looking for any natives. At the same time, five Apache's make there way towards the newest settlement. They plan to kill the settlers, in an attempt to drive the white man away from there land. There only real obstacle? The Musketeers.

Spotting the five frenchman tromping through the woods, the Apache's spread out and prepare to attack. One of the Apache's readies his Trade Gun. He's become a crack shot with it, and aims for the Musketeer trailing behind the others. Getting a nod from the leader of this expedition, the Apache fires, the bullet hitting the Musketeer in the head, killing him. But the noise of the gun alerts the other men, who ready themselves to defend from this ambush.

**Musketeer: 4**

**Apache: 5**

The head Musketeer spins around when the first shot is fired. Quickly he orders his men into a defensive position. An arrow flies from the woods, striking him in the chest. Had he not been wearing his steel armor, he'd be dead. He draws his pistol and fires back, but can't tell if he hits anything. He learns he didn't when a second arrow knocks off his hat. He and his men try to make there way back down the path they'd traveled down, but the savages were making it difficult. They had a bit of luck though, when one of his men threw a Grenade towards the place where the arrows had been coming from. The blast yielded the burnt body of an Apache, as well as setting a small blaze that was rapidly growing. With the woods starting to burn, the Apache's were forced to go for a more direct confrontation.

**Musketeer: 4**

**Apache: 4**

A Musketeer saw an Apache run past, and fired at him with his Pistol. The bullet struck the man in the shoulder, causing him to drop to the ground in pain. He also did this to grab some Knives hidden in his boots, which he promptly hurled at the Musketeer. One bounced off the the frenchman's chest plate, but the other struck him in the arm, making him drop the pistol.

As the Musketeer pulled the knife from his arm, he went to draw another Pistol, just as the Apache stood, taking another Knife from his belt. The Apache threw the Knife just as the Musketeer pulled the trigger. The last sound to reach the Musketeer's ears was the sound of his Pistol clicking as it misfired.

The wounded Apache watched satisfied as the Musketeer dropped dead with a Knife in his brain. Turning, he made his way off to find someplace to tend to his wound.

**Musketeer: 3**

**Apache: 4**

A Musketeer ran blindly through the foliage, when suddenly and Apache leapt from the brambles, Tomahawks in both hands. The Musketeer just managed to raise his Rapier to block a blow that would have split his head wide open. Pushing back with greater strength, he separated from the Apache, and began thrusting his Rapier in an attempt to pierce the Apache's heart.

The Apache ducked and weaved around the blows, occasionally returning fire with his Tomahawks. Soon, both warriors were covered superficial wounds. The Apache tried for an overhead strike with one of his axes, only for the Rapier to block him. This was what the Apache was hoping for however, and with a deft swing, he used his other Tomahawk to cut off the Musketeer's sword arm.

The Musketeer screamed in pain, even as his other hand flew to his belt. Grabbing the hilt of his dagger, he unsheathed it in one quick movement. The Apache had his Tomahawk prepared to decapitated his enemy, but was stopped short. The Musketeer had jabbed the Gauche dagger right up through the Apache's chin, and deep into his brain.

**Musketeer: 3**

**Apache: 3**

As the Apache dropped, the Musketeer clutched his wound, and knew if he didn't hurry he would soon bleed out. Casting a quick look around, he tried to make his way toward camp.

From the shadows, a pair of eyes looked on with anger. He had arrived just in time to see one of his fellow warriors get killed by this invader.

When the man's back was turned, he leapt from the shadows, War Club at the ready. The man had no time to turn around before the Club struck him across the back of the head. He fell to his knees, bleeding profusely from his wounds both old and new. A second strike shattered the man's skull, sending him into unending darkness.

**Musketeer: 2**

**Apache: 3**

A Musketeer checked his Musket as he tried to sneak through the foliage. At his belt were three Pistols, and his sword, though his dagger had been lost during the initial skirmish. Hearing rustling in the nearby brush, he readied his Musket.

The Apache with a bullet in his shoulder had managed to find a hidden cache of arrows, and was now trying to meet up with his brothers. Bursting through some of the bushes, he saw a startled Musketeer that was about to shoot. The Apaches' eyes widened, before turning and running the opposite direction. A last second turn allowed him to live, as a bullet from a Pistol slammed into the tree.

The Apache readied an arrow and leaned out from behind his cover to fire a shot off. The arrow missed the Musketeer, who tried to return fire. Unfortunately, his Pistol suffered a misfire and, with no time to reload it, he tossed it to the ground.

Hearing his adversaries grunt of frustration, the Apache began to stealthily make his way toward the Frenchman. A snap of a branch drew his prey's attention, causing the nervous man to fire off his last Pistol at the noise. The Apache did his best to suppress a groan of pain as the bullet bit into his left thigh.

It must not have been enough though, as the Musketeer raised his last gun, the Musket. He started walking toward the source of the noise cautiously. Suddenly, an arrow flew out and hit him right in the breastplate. A second arrow hit him in the ankle, while a third flew past his neck. Finally, the Musketeer returned fire, shooting at where he presumed his enemy to be; based on the position of the last arrow.

All was quite. Slowly, the Musketeer bushed aside the brush and looked for his foe. There he found what he sought. The Apache was unable to move out of the way in time after firing his last arrow. He paid for that, with a bullet to the lung, which had nicked the heart. Rather good for a mostly blind shot, but it had done the trick.

**Musketeer: 2**

**Apache: 2**

An Apache and Musketeer were locked in mortal combat. The Musketeer had his Rapier and Main Gauche drawn, while the Apache had two Knives. While the Musketeer had the longer weapons, the Apache was much to fast for the Musketeer.

The Musketeer's Rapier leaves a deep scratch across the Apaches' chest, causing him to leap back. The Musketeer follows up with a stab to the chest, only for the native to sidestep, leaving the frenchman off balance. Before he can regain his footing, the Apache kicks the Musketeer in the leg, cracking the bone, and causing him to stumble foreword. From there, a flick of the wrist is all it takes for the Apache to fling a Knife into his enemies jugular vein. The man gasps, but there is nothing he can do. His eyes roll back in his head, as he collapses dead.

The Apache smirks, reveling in his victory. Then something hard strikes him in the back of the head, causing him to turn around. Seeing nothing, he looks down. His eyes widen and then-

He is too late to move as the Grenade at his feet detonates, sending him flying back, his legs no longer attached. He hits his head on landing, sending him into blissful unconsciousness. He will not be waking up.

**Musketeer: 1**

**Apache: 1**

The Musketeer stepped out from behind a tree, and approached the remains of his comrade. He didn't want to use the finicky pistols if he didn't have to, as there malfunction had proven to be the death of several of his comrades. Now all he had were his blades, and two of the guns.

Suddenly an arrow buried itself in his shoulder, causing him to cry out in surprise. Turning swiftly, he saw the last Apache firing another arrow, which he only just dodged. The Apache was determined not to let him rest, and fired as many and as fast as he could. Two arrows found there home in his shoulder before he was able to return fire. He prayed his gun would work, and by god, it did! It didn't do much good though, as it only impacted the tree next to the Apache's head. Thankfully though, the Apache had run out of arrows. Instead, he took out a Tomahawk, and charged, intent on finishing the weakened man off.

He swung the axe down, his foe's Rapier rising to defend himself. They step back and duel back and forth, steel blade clashing with axehead. Suddenly, the Musketeer reaches for his Main Gauche with his other hand, and stabs at the Apache. The Apache steps out of the way at the last second though, getting a scratch on his side as he does. The Apache moves behind the Musketeer, taking out a second Tomahawk and slashing at his back. The Musketeer stepped foreword, wincing in pain, even as he turned around.

The duel continued, now even more frenzied with the addition of an additional axe and dagger respectively. Suddenly, the Apache caught the Main Gauche with his Tomahawk, and twisted, sending the dagger spinning away from the fighters. In retaliation, the Musketeer used his Rapier to slice the axe head off one of the Apache's Tomahawks.

The two stepped back, before charging each other once again, locking blades, each trying to over power the other. Then, while still pressing down on each other, they went for there belts with their free hand. The Apache was a second faster, and grabbed his Knife, which he used to stab the Musketeer just under the armor. The Musketeer cried in pain, and the Apache moved to stab him again. But the Musketeer's hand had found his last Pistol, and he had raised it to meet the Apache's eye in the time it took the Apache to stab him. Praying to God that this would work, he pulled the trigger, just as the Apache sent the Knife for his throat.

With a click and a Kaboom, the Apache knew no more. Slowly, his Knife, which had been a moment away from piercing the Musketeer's neck, fell backwards with the rest of his body to meet the cold earth. The Apache was dead, and the Musketeer remained.

The Frenchman took a deep shuddering sigh, shaken by his brush with death. When it had passed, he reared back his head and roared; both for his victory, and for his fallen comrades.

Winner: French Musketeer

French Musketeer: 573

Flintlock Musket: 204

Rapier: 139

Grenade: 90

Main Gauche: 80

Wheel Lock Pistol: 60

Apache: 427

Northeast Trade Gun: 181

Bow & Arrow: 100

Knife: 90

Tomahawk: 50

War Club: 6

_Narrator: _In this battle of two different warrior types and fighting styles, it was the Musketeer's who won the day.

Max: It's easy to see why the Musketeer's won this fight. While the Apache's did have access to guns, the Musketeer's simply had more and better firepower. Still, despite that, the Apache's managed to better then I expected with their non black powder weapons. But that alone wasn't enough. The Musketeer's had the better weapons, and they also had the better armor. The Apache's weapons couldn't do as much damage to the Musketeer's as the they could to them. Their hit and run tactics did often take the Musketeers by surprise, but it could only last them so long.

_We see the last Musketeer back at camp, getting his wounds stitched up. In his hand is the Knife that almost took his life. He will never forget this day, and he will never forget that Apache. He planned to train hard from that day foreword, so that the next time he lead a team, their fate would not be like his last. _

**The End. **

**Next Time One Deadliest Warrior: **

**The Ultimate battle of Cops and Robbers; as a team of SWAT troops try and bring legendary outlaw Jesse James to justice!  
**


	32. Jesse James Gang vs SWAT

_Disclaimer: I don't own Deadliest Warrior; but I wish I did. _

**Deadliest Warrior, Chapter 29: Jesse James Gang vs. SWAT**

_Narrator: _

Jesse James Gang; the vicious outlaw whose bloody crime-sprees made him the most famous bank robber in America. On his last big robbery, a squad of Somali Pirates tried to interfere, and found themselves with a chest full of lead.

(We see Jesse James shoot a Somali Pirate in the chest with his Colt Revolver).

_Narrator: _

SWAT; The elite special forces of U.S law enforcement, who take on the country's most dangerous police missions. On their last mission, the SWAT team neutralized a small sect of the KGB.

(We see the KGB leader getting sniped in the head).

**WHO IS DEADLIEST?**

To find out, our world class fighters are testing histories most lethal weapons. Using 21st century science, we'll see what happens when the two warriors go toe to toe. No rules. No safety. No mercy. It's a duel to the death, to decide who is...THE DEADLIEST WARRIOR!

Jesse James Gang:

Reign of Terror: 1866 - 1876

Members: 4 - 8

Crimes: Bank Robbery & Murder

Win(s): (1) Somali Pirates

SWAT

Height - 5' 11

Weight - 190 LBS

Gear - 60 LBS

Armor - Kevlar Vest & Helmet

Win(s): (1) KGB

_Narrator: _Here at the fight club we test out four weapons used by gun slinging bank robbers: The Jesse James Gang

Bowie Knife

Winchester Rifle

Colt Revolver

Pistol Whip

_Narrator: _And see if they'll be enough to over come the weapons of the long arm of law; SWAT:

Baton & Riot Shield

LWRC-PSD

Remington 700

Taser

_Narrator: _For our first test, these two teams will test out their close range weapons: Jesse James' Bowie Knife, against the SWATs' Baton & Riot Shield.

Max: What, we're not using the Benelli this time?

Geoff: No, we thought the whole: Gun vs. Knife this was getting old, so we decided to use a more appropriate weapon.

Max: Do police even still use batons any more?

Geoff: Yeah. Probably.

Max: Probably?

Geoff: Well I know for a fact they use Riot Shields!

Dr. Dorian: Wait, I just Goggled it. Yes, SWAT does use batons.

Geoff: See!

Max: Fine, I think the edge should go to the Bowie Knife. It's way deadlier then a baton

Geoff: Yeah, but would it get through the Riot Shield? The answer is no. And when it doesn't the SWAT will ram them with the shield, then beat their ass with that baton.

Max: But those weapons are meant to subdue people, not kill them!

Dr. Dorian: I hate to say it, but he's right. This is about lethality. Those weapons are not meant to kill people. They can, but not as easily as the Bowie Knife.

Max: And with two to one the close range edge goes to the Bowie Knife.

Edge: Jesse James Gang

_Narrator: _For the second test, the two bring out their mid range firearms: SWAT's LWRC-PSD and the James' Gang Winchester.

Dr. Dorian: This one is easy. The LWRC-PSD has a greater rate of fire then the Winchester. It has better stopping power and more speed.

Geoff: Agreed.

Max: Me Too.

Edge: SWAT

_Narrator: _Next, the two teams will bust out their long range weapons: Jess James Colt Revolver against the SWAT's Remington 700.

Max: I vote the sniper rifle on this one.

Geoff: Agreed, it has a greater distance and a higher ammo capacity.

Dr. Dorian: Even if the Revolver does shoot faster, it just doesn't measure up. Edge to the Remington.

Edge: SWAT

_Narrator: _For the final test, our teams bring out their their special weapons: SWAT's Taser and James' Pistol Whip.

Max: Are either of these really lethal weapons?

Dr. Dorian: Well… technically, the Pistol Whip can be lethal. At least more so then the Taser.

Geoff: True, but will the Pistol Whip affect the SWAT through his Helmet? I doubt it.

Max: Agreed. But the Taser isn't a lethal weapon, it's meant to stun an enemy.

Dr. Dorian: I guess in this case, it's a tie.

Edge: Tie.

_Narrator: _With all the testing complete, Max Geiger uploads the data gathered from the tests into the battle simulation, developed by Slitherine Studio, to simulate a battle to the death between these two warriors. To make sure that victory isn't snatched by a single lucky blow, the battle will be simulated 1000 times. Who will win in this battle of Cops and Robbers? Jesse James, the most famous bank robbing cowboy around? Or SWAT, who spend their lives trying to protect citizens from violent criminals like Jesse?

Close Range Edge: Jesse James Bowie Knife

Mid Range Edge: SWAT's LWRC-PSD

Long Range Edge: SWAT's Remington 700

Special Weapon Edge: Tie between Taser and Pistol Whip

It's time to find out which warrior is truly the deadliest. Max hits the button on the computer, and suddenly the screen goes "Matrix" on us.

The fight opens on a bank in crisis. Jesse James and his Gang have taken a bank full of people hostage. There are five of them, though only three are currently with the hostages. The other two are attempting to break into the bank vault.

Meanwhile, a SWAT team prepares for there mission to save the hostages and take down the Gang. One of the SWAT takes aim at one of the members left with the hostages with his Remington. Getting the signal from the squad leader, he fires at the man closest to the hostages. The bullet penetrates the glass, and strikers the cowboy in the head. At the same time the rest of the Team Burst through the door screaming for the remaining Gang members to drop their weapons and get on the ground. One member of the gang ran out of the room and hid behind a door as soon as they did, leaving only one living member left to face the fury of four armed SWAT members.

**Jesse James Gang: 4**

**SWAT: 5**

The cowboy raised his hands above his head, and slowly went to put his revolver on the ground. Just as he was about to put it on the ground, he cocked it and fired. He wasn't gonna allow himself to be taken captive, even if it cost him his life. His bullet struck one of the SWAT in the knee, making him cry out and fall to the ground. Before another shot could be fired, the thief found himself writhing on the ground in pain. A SWAT with a Riot Shield had fired a taser into his chest.

While the rest of the team moved forward to either apprehend the robber, or check on their injured comrade, the hidden cowboy made his move. Stepping out from his hiding spot, he took aim with his Winchester Rifle and fired. He hit the back of the neck of one of the SWAT, killing him instantly.

Seeing one of their comrades die caused the SWAT to take action. Leaving the injured SWAT, along with the one holding the Taser, the other SWAT went off in pursuit of the killer.

**Jess James Gang: 4**

**SWAT: 4**

In all the commotion, the Cowboy who'd been stunned got a chance to catch his breath. When the SWAT with a Riot Shield goes to cuff him, he lunges up and stabs him with a Bowie Knife. He is only hit in the arm, but it causes him to drop his Riot Shield. The SWAT tries to hit him with his Baton, but the crook rolls out of the way. The wounded SWAT wants to help, but if he opens fire, he risks hitting the hostages or his partner.

Getting to his feet, the cowboys shows that he has picked up the Revolver he lost after he was stunned. Aiming, he opens fire, making the Baton SWAT duck. A gasp is heard, and the cowboy smirks. The Baton SWAT turns his head and sees that when he ducked, the bullet struck the wounded SWAT in the throat. The man clutches his wound, but it's hopeless. He collapses in a heap, dead.

**JJG: 4**

**SWAT: 3**

The Cowboy turns the gun on the last remaining SWAT. There's nowhere to run, and it looks like this is the end.

Just before the shot is fired though, a different trigger is pulled. The robber's head jerks back, before he falls lifeless to the floor. Turning around, the SWAT sees that the SWAT with the Remington had saved him.

With all the hostages currently secure, and the room they were in free of the James Gang, the two SWAT usher the frightened civilians to safety. When the last one has left, they prepare to follow their comrades. The sniper exchanges his Remington for a LWRC-PSD, while the the Riot Shielder takes another LWRC-PSD, choosing to holster his Taser and Baton.

All ready, they head deeper into the bank.

**JJG: 3**

**SWAT: 3**

One of Jesse's gang patrols the halls not far from the vault. Hearing footsteps approaching, he takes action. Not knowing if it was friend or foe, he ducks behind the corner, to wait. Earlier, another member had run past him, claiming the SWAT were coming, and that he'd killed one of them. The man had lost him in the maze of hallways, but he'd soon arrive. That man had gone further to help Jesse, while he had stayed here to keep watch.

The SWAT who had followed the bank robber rounded the corner. When he did, the gang member standing there stabbed his gun hand, making it drop to the floor. When the man grunted in pain, the robber took out his pistol and struck the SWAT in the back of the head. Unfortunately, it did little damage, thanks to the SWATs' helmet.

Having had enough time to recover slightly, the SWAT elbowed the robber in the stomach, making him gasp. Then, he uppercut the man, sending him stumbling backwards. Shaking it off, the robber pulled a Bowie Knife from his belt and tackled the SWAT. They rolled on the ground, the cop trying to take the knife from the criminal.

While the robber tried to get in some stabs, most didn't do much thanks to the SWAT's body armor. Finally though, he managed to free his arm from the SWAT's grasp, and in one quick motion, slit the man's throat.

Getting up, the robber pulled the man's body out of sight, and set up in case another SWAT came his way.

**JJG: 3**

**SWAT: 2**

And at that moment, two did. As the first walked around the corner, the gang member pounced on his back, Knife raised. He stabbed, but SWAT body armor saved him from a fatal injury.

The SWAT, now with a painful stab wound, slams his back, and thus the cowboy, into the wall. The man gasps, and let's go, falling to the floor. He gets to his feet quickly though, and prepares to make another charge.

He barely takes two steps before the second SWAT unloads a few rounds from his LWRC into the man's torso. Turning to make sure his comrade is okay, the two continue deeper into the bank.

**JJG: 2**

**SWAT: 2**

Jesse James and his brother are now the only two left in the gang. Having heard the gunfire not far away, they start packing up what they can as they get ready to bolt. The brother watches the door while Jesse scoops up as much money as the two of them can carry.

A SWAT appears in the door, gun raised and a warning on his lips. Before he can order the two criminals to drop there weapons, the brother fires his Winchester. It strikes the SWAT in the shoulder, sending him spinning away.

Right behind him came a second SWAT, holding a LWRC and a Riot he charged into the room, a quick pull of the trigger was all it took for the brother to get pumped full of lead. He went to fire on Jesse, but the head of the gang already had his Colt drawn, and shot the LWRC out of the SWAT's hands. Before he could get off a second shot, the SWAT hurled his Riot Shield across the short distance between them, knocking Jesse over, and the gun out of his hand.

Groaning on the ground Jesse pulled out a Bowie Knife even as the SWAT was on him with a Baton. The two struggled with each other, dealing superficial wounds. The Baton struck Jesse in the ribs, while the Bowie Knife stabbed the SWAT in the lower leg.

Finally, the SWAT head-butted Jesse, making him fall back slightly. Then, as Jesse raised his knife, the SWAT slammed his Baton into the side of Jesse's head, breaking his jaw. He then slammed it on top of the crook's skull, sending Jesse to his knees. Finally, with his empty hand, the SWAT grabbed the hand Taser at his hip, and slammed into Jesse James' chin, sending powerful volt through his skull. Jesse cried out in anguish, before his eyes rolled back in his head, and the famous criminal fell to the floor unconscious.

The SWAT looked at the downed man, and heaved a sigh of relief. Hearing groaning behind him, he turned to see that the other SWAT was still alive. The man had taken a nasty hit to the shoulder, but he would live. Cuffing the unconscious Jesse, the two made their way back to the front of the building.

Winner: SWAT

SWAT: 587

LWRC-PSD: 307

Remington: 250

Baton & Riot Shield: 30

Taser: 0

Jesse James Gang: 413

Winchester Rifle: 196

Colt Revolver: 173

Bowie Knife: 44

Pistol Whip: 0

_Narrator: _In this fantastic battle of cops and robbers, it was justice that prevailed in the SWAT team. There victory was largely due to there LWRC which scored over 300 kills in the simulation.

Geoff: I'm not surprised the SWAT won. They have superior weapons and superior armor. While the James gang may have had impressive draw speed on their side, it wasn't enough to overcome the gap in technology.

_We see the remaining SWAT getting treated by some medics outside the Bank. Meanwhile, Jesse James is loaded up into a police van, where he will be taken away. The infamous criminal's career is now over. _

**The End. **


	33. Alexander the Great vs William Wallace

_Disclaimer: I don't own Deadliest Warrior; but I wish I did. _

**Deadliest Warrior, Chapter 30: Alexander The Great vs. **

** William Wallace**

_Narrator: _

Alexander The Great, the warrior king, whose brutal tactics carved out one of the largest empires in history. Last time, Alexander's latest conquest lead him to the savannas of Africa, where he faced the warlord Shaka Zulu, and put him down.

(We see Alexander fire a gastraphetes at Shaka Zulu's chest, killing him).

_Narrator: _

William Wallace; William Wallace; the legendary scottish rebel, who lead a bloodthirsty army of Highlanders against the mighty English empire. Last time, Wallace showed us that might makes right, when he faced master strategist Sun Tzu, in a battle that made heads roll.

(We see William Wallace swing his Claymore, and decapitated Sun Tzu).

**WHO IS DEADLIEST?**

To find out, our world class fighters are testing histories most lethal weapons. Using 21st century science, we'll see what happens when the two warriors go toe to toe. No rules. No safety. No mercy. It's a duel to the death, to decide who is...THE DEADLIEST WARRIOR!

Alexander The Great

340 - 323 BC

Height - 5' 7"

Weight - 155 LBS

Armor - Bronze Cuirass

William Wallace

c. 1270 - 1305

Scotland

Gear - 40 LBS

Armor - Chain Mail

_Narrator: _Here in the fight club, we take four weapons used by Warrior King, Alexander the Great:

Kopis

Gastraphetes

Xyston

Macedonian Shield

_Narrator: _and see how they stack up against the weapons of William Wallace:

War Hammer

Ball & Chain

Claymore

Targe & Dirk

_Narrator: _For our first test, the two teams will clash together as they bring out their close range weapons: Alexanders' Kopis against William's War Hammer.

Fred took the Kopis, and walked toward a replica of Wallace's armor. He twirled the sword in his hand, before giving the dummy a vicious slash. Not surprisingly, the Kopis failed to do any significant damage. But, when he stabbed the dummy with the point of his sword, he was rewarded with a spurt of blood as he pierced the heart. This proved that the Kopis was a viable threat to Wallace.

Next it was Bob's turn. Taking his War Hammer he stepped up to a bronze cuirass and swung for the fences. The Hammer formed a dent in the armor, but that wasn't enough for Bob. Turning the Hammer over in his palm, he struck the bronze with the pick end. The results weren't quite as spectacular, but it did make a small hole in the armor. The damage done, the team allowed the doctor to examine the wounds.

Dr. Dorian: This first wound not to serious. It definitely bruised the ribs, but this is not a killing blow. This second wound, while at first appearing to be deadly, didn't actually penetrate the skin all that deeply. The amor did its job and observed most of the blows. These two strikes definitely hurt, and perhaps enough of them in a similar area could potentially be lethal. But comparing that to the clear lethality of the Kopis it's obvious what the choice is. The close range edge goes to the Kopis.

Edge: Alexander The Great

_Narrator: _Next comes the second test, our warriors take aim, with their long range weaponry: Wallace's Ball & Chain goes against Alexander's Gastraphetes.

Max: This one is easy. The ball & chain is not an effective weapon. The Gastraphetes has it in range, power, and accuracy. And as we already know, crossbows are strong enough to pierce chain mail. The long range edge goes to the Gastraphetes.

Edge: Alexander The Great

_Narrator: _For our third test, these two legendary warriors will engage in some mid range combat with: Alexander's Xyston and William's Claymore.

Geoff: This one is actually somewhat tougher. The Xyston certainly has it in range. But off of a horse, the weapon tends to be unwieldy. It could probably pierce the chain mail. The Claymore on the other hand, is easily William Wallace's most devastating weapon. It is easily powerful enough to destroy the Xyston if they came up against each other. Wallace is also a master of the Claymore, a weapon which doesn't act as unwieldily as the Xyston. I'm really on the fence here, but I think if it came down to it, I'd give the mid range edge to the Claymore.

Edge: William Wallace.

_Narrator: _For our final test, our warriors bring out their very special weapons: William Wallace's Targe & Dirk, and Alexander The Great's Macedonian Shield.

Max: Yes, we have a new weapon!

Geoff: It's not really much of a weapon, more of a -

Max: New Weapon!

Geoff: Fine, whatever…

Dr. Dorian: That's right the Macedonian shield; it has a diameter of 62 - 74 cm. It is made of a thin bronze or iron sheet. The inside side was wooden or multilayer leather construction with handle fixed on. Members of Alexander's personal guard would likely use the larger version, so we'll assume that's the one he would use as well.

The team put the shield on a bar, each waiting to take a shot at the shield to test the defense.

First Bob took the War Hammer and slammed it against the shield. Instantly a large dent formed in the shield, and the computers stated that the arm holding it would likely have broken.

Changing out the shields, they then threw a Ball & Chain at it. It also made a dent, but other then that, it did no significant damage.

Next, Bob took hold of the Claymore and charge the shield. Amazingly, the steel sword cut into the Bronze Shield.

Dr. Dorian: Well, it seems that the Bronze shield is not immune to Wallace's steel weapons. Both the Hammer and the Claymore are capable of causing major damage to Alex even when he is behind his Shield. Now, can Alex's weapons do the same?

Fred takes a look at the smaller Targe shield. Taking the Kopis sword, the swung at it. It struck the shield, cutting into it deeply.

Then, he fired with his Gastraphetes. The bolt flew across the range, burying itself in the wood. However, the bolt surprisingly did not penetrate all the way through.

As for the Xyston spear, the team found that when on foot, the spear couldn't pierce the shield. But on horse back, it easily smashed the wooden shield.

For the final test, the team decides to test out what will happen when the two shields charge one another. This will be used to decide if the spike on the Targe is capable of puncturing the bronze shield.

The shields are set up on special robots provided by Geoff. At the push of a button, the two charge each other full pelt, Shields in front of them. They come together in a great crash, and all is still. When the team pulls them apart, they see that, yes, the iron spike did puncture through the shield, though only if Wallace was running full speed.

Dr. Dorian: It's close, but I'm giving this one to Wallace's Targe and Dirk Combo. The two shields are relatively equal, but Wallace brings that extra something to the table with the steel spike and dagger.

Edge: William Wallace

_Narrator: _With all the testing complete, Max Geiger uploads the data gathered from the tests into the battle simulation, developed by Slitherine Studio, to simulate a battle to the death between these two warriors. To make sure that victory isn't snatched by a single lucky blow, the battle will be simulated 1000 times. Who will win in battle of leaders? Alexander The Great, who lead his army to create one of the largest empress in the world's history? Or William Wallace, who lead his army to rebel **against **one of the mightiest empires in the world?

Close Range Edge: Alexander's Kopis

Mid Range Edge: William's Claymore

Long Range Edge: Alexander's Gastraphetes

Special Weapon Edge: William's Targe & Dirk

It's time to find out which warrior is truly the deadliest. Max hits the button on the computer, and suddenly the screen goes "Matrix" on us.

This story takes place on a rolling hillside. Alexander the Great reaches the top of one of the hills on horseback, and gazes over the land. Across the field, he sees William Wallace emerge on the opposite side. The two warriors stare each other down, assessing the warrior before them.

Deciding to make the first move, Alexander a bolt from his Gastraphetes. The deadly arrow flies toward Wallace, who was able to see it coming, and thus easily sidestepped. Grunting in anger, Wallace charged at Alexander. All of this seemed vaguely familiar to the warrior king, even the part where his opponent dodged his second projectile.

Deciding to give up on fighting long range, Alex charged foreword with his Xyston at the ready. He saw Wallace grab an iron ball from his waist, but thought nothing of it. Just as he was about to skewer the large man, Wallace ducked, saving his life. Wallace frowned. On horseback, it would be difficult to defeat this opponent. He had to get him on the ground. Once there, Wallace was sure he could use his superior strength to win the day.

As his attacker passed him, Wallace began to spin, Ball & Chain in hand. Just as Alex turned his horse around, he caught sight of a large grey blur heading right at him. The Ball & Chain slammed into his bronze cuirass with enough force to knock him right off him horse. Landing hard, Alex fought to catch his breath. Seeing the rider was down, Wallace armed himself with his War Hammer and Targe, and charged the downed man.

Sitting up, Alexander unslings his Macedonian Shield, and readies his Xyston. As soon as he's done that, William is on him. Alex manages to keep the hammer-swinger at distance with his Xyston, but finds himself unable to land any decent hits. He thrusts his spear, tearing the side of William's shirt, but nothing else. Will finally manages to get close enough to launch a powerful swing, but Alex raises his shield at the last second to block, sending a responding bong sound across the land.

Alex hastily steps back, stabbing with his spear in a desperate attempt to kill his enemy. One comes close enough to force Wallace to raise his smaller Targe shield to defend. The spear point strikes hard, but it hadn't been thrust hard enough to break the shield. Before Alex could retract the Xyston, William smashed the Xyston off with his War Hammer, breaking it in half.

With no spear to keep him at bay Wallace attempts to smash Alex's head in. Luckily Alex raised his Macedonian shield at the last moment, saving his life. Even as William continues to pound at the shield with his hammer, Alex tries to stab him with remains of the Xyston to no effect. However, slamming his Macedonian Shield into him seems quiet effective, as it makes Wallace stumble back slightly, giving Alex some much needed room.

Jumping back, Alex quickly discards the broken spear in favor of his Kopis sword. When Wallace charges him again, the warrior king skillfully side steps and ends up behind Wallace in one smooth motion. He slices at Wallace's exposed back, the blade slicing against the chain-mail. Wallace turns around quickly, Hammer set to smash Alex's head in. But Alex leans back, and slices the hammer head clean off with his sword. Alex tires to press his advantage, only for his sword to be blocked by the Targe's spike. This block is followed by a wicked punch to the chin which sends Alex stumbling back. As he does, Wallace takes out his Dirk dagger.

He charges Alex, the spike on his Targe leading the way. Alex puts his Macedonian shield in front of him to defend, but this turns out to be a mistake. The two shields collide, but the steel spike, driven by the force of Wallace's charge, pierces the bronze shield. The spike drives itself through Alex's shield arm, causing him to cry out in agony. He tries to get a stab at Wallace, but the bigger man deflects with his Dirk. Wallace tries to stab him in the head, but Alex's helmet saves his life. A lean of the head causes only a scratch to the helmet. But it would only be the once, as the punch Wallace follows with knocks the helmet off. Alex finally get a break with he stabs at Wallace's leg with his Kopis. The blade pierces the big man's upper thigh, causing him to grunt in pain then hastily step back to avoid a lethal injury. Wallace tries to retaliate with the Dirk, but the longer Kopis knocks the dagger from Wallace's hands.

With no other choice, Wallace drops his shield, and uses both hands to take up his Claymore. He sliced down with the large blade, only for Alex to side step his attack easily. While one of his arms may have been badly injured, his legs worked just fine. He lashed out with the Kopis, slicing a gash up William's arm.

Wallace grunted in annoyance, changing the direction of his blow in an attempt to slice his frustrating enemy in half. But Alex just stepped back, the tip of the Claymore tracing a thin scratch across the armor. Wallace stopped his blade's swing with effort, and tried to drive the point of his sword home with a stab, but Alex knocked his blade off course with his Kopis. He then counter attacked by stabbing at Wallace's head. Scotland's hero was only just able to duck and roll out of the way of the blade that the Warrior King had sought to put through his eye socket.

Alex turned to face his opponent, sneering down from where the man was still in a kneeling position. That was how it should be. Raising his Kopis high, he brought it down with all his might, Wallace just managing to bring his Claymore up in a guard position in the nick of time.

The two struggled for dominance, Wallace having greater strength, but Alex having the better position. The swords pushed both ways, first nearing Wallace, only for him to push back and bring the swords closer to Alex. But eventually, a major factor came into play: Alexander's injured arm. Wallace had two good arms to push his large blade, while Alex only had one good arm and one heavily injured arm to push his smaller blade. So while it was very slow, the balance of power was shifting in Wallace's direction.

With a great heave, Wallace stood to his full hight, knocking Alexander the Great's Kopis away from him. Before Alex could do anything, Wallace sliced his sword arm right off. A second swing of his massive blade took both his legs. Alexander the Great looks up at William Wallace, for the first time feeling true fear in his heart. Wallace feels no such thing, feeling only the rush of battle as he raised the Claymore high above his head. With a mighty war cry William Wallace brings the blade down like Death's scythe, splitting Alexander the Great's head in half like a melon.

Stepping back, Wallace reared his head back and roared in victory, reveling in the feeling he got from defeating such a worthy foe.

Winner: William Wallace

William Wallace: 609

Claymore: 313

Targe & Dirk: 233

War Hammer: 62

Ball & Chain: 1

Alexander the Great: 391

Xyston: 122

Kopis: 117

Macedonian Shield: 103

Gastraphetes: 49

_Narrator: _In this battle of two titanic leaders, it was William Wallace that triumphed over Alexander the Great.

Geoff: In all of our tests, we found that Alexander could only best Wallace when he could keep him at bay with his Xyston and Gastraphetes. His Xyston spear was especially effective at piercing Wallace's chain-mail armor, much like the Iklwa Shaka Zulu used. But unfortunately, all of his other weapons were only moderately effective, and none of them scored over two hundred kills. William Wallace simply had the better killing tools, due to him being from a more developed point in history.

_We see Wallace walk back to camp limping slightly. Arriving there, he allows his army's medic to take a look at his leg, and bandaged it and the cut on his arm. When he gets back to his tent, he opens a chest, placing the Kopis of Alexander the Great inside next to Sun Tzu's Jian. This was the second time he had gone out hunting, only to find himself in a life or death battle. Something strange was going on here, and he was determined to find out what it was… _

**The End. **


	34. Zande Warrior vs Ninja

_Disclaimer: I don't own Deadliest Warrior; but I wish I did._

**Deadliest Warrior, Chapter 31: Zande Warrior vs. Ninja**

**Redemption Match!**

_Narrator:_  
Zande Warrior, ferocious barbarian of Central Africa. Last time, however, that ferocity was not enough, and the Zande got himself brained by the Apache.  
_(We see the Apache smash the Zande's head in with a War Club)._

_Narrator:_  
Ninja, the legendary master of death from Japan. Last time, the master assassin took on and killed the Maori. Will he have as much luck this time with the Zande?  
_(We see the Ninja stab the Maori in the neck with his Kusarigama)_

**WHO IS DEADLIEST?**  
To find out, our world class fighters are testing histories most lethal weapons. Using 21st century science, we'll see what happens when the two warriors go toe to toe. No rules. No safety. No mercy. It's a duel to the death, to decide who is...THE DEADLIEST WARRIOR!

**Zande Warrior**  
Year - 1820  
Height - 5' 9"  
Weight - 170 LBS  
Armor - Wicker Shield  
Losses (1): Apache

**Ninja**  
Gear - 10 LBS  
Height - 5' 2"  
Weight - 135 LBS  
Wins (1): Maori  
Armor - None

_Narrator:_ Here in the fight club, we take five weapons used by the brutally vicious Zande Warrior:

Makraka  
Makrigga  
Kpinga  
Botto & Pima  
Khanjar

_Narrator:_ And pit them against deadly silent assassin, the Ninja:

Ninjato  
Black Egg  
Shuriken  
Blowgun  
Kusarigama

_Narrator:_ For the first test, we lock blades as our warriors test out their close range weapons: The Zande's Makraka and the Ninja's Ninjato

Geoff: These weapons are both very deadly weapons. I don't know if I can call a definite edge between them.

Dr. Dorian: Well, if I had to pick one, I'd go with the Ninjato. It's a longer weapon, and has a bit more versatility then the Makraka. For those reasons, the edge has to go to the Ninjato.

_**Edge:**_ Ninja

_Narrator:_ Next comes the second test, where mid range weapons clash: The Ninja Black Egg against the Zande Makrigga.

Dr. Dorian: As I think has already been established on previous episodes; while the Black Egg is good for stunning, it lacks the lethality of most other weapons. This of course includes the Makrigga.

Geoff: When you're right you're right doc. That spear is wicked lethal, and it definitely gets my edge.

Max: Agreed, mid range edge goes to the Makrigga.

Edge: Zande

_Narrator:_ Next, comes the first of two long range weapons: The Zande's Kpinga will be pitted against the Ninja's Shuriken.

Dr. Dorian: Okay, now even though both of these are thrown weapons, I distinctly recall that the shuriken had a fairly low lethality factor.

Max: That's right, the most it can give you is a cut or scratch, but it's not likely to kill you. It would have to be very well placed.

Geoff: That's right. If it maybe hit a vein or a major artery, it could possibly do some lethal damage, but the odds of that aren't nearly high enough. The Kpinga on the other hand, is much larger, and the blades do way more damage.

Dr. Dorian: That's right, if it's thrown hard enough, you could possibly decapitate someone with it.

Max: I think that means that the most obvious choice for the edge is the Kpinga.

_**Edge:**_ Zande

_Narrator:_ Now let's take a look at the other long range weapon each of these two deadly contenders use: The Ninja Blowgun against the Zande Botto & Pima.

Dr. Dorian: Okay, both of these weapons use poison, so if they hit you, the odds that you'll die go way up. That said, the Botto & Pima has a much larger range then the Blowgun, allowing arrows to be fired from a much greater distance. It's not much, but it's enough to give the Botto & Pima an edge over the Blowgun.

_**Edge:**_ Zande

_Narrator:_ For our final test, our two teams will show off their special weapons: The Zande Khanjar and the Ninja Kusarigama.

Because this is a new weapon, weapon tester Bob will test out the deadliness of the Khanjar dagger, on a ballistic gel torso.

Bob takes a stance, waiting for Geoff to give the signal. When he does, he leaps foreword, knife raised. The knife sliced through the gel torso's flesh, sending blood falling to the floor. A slice to the throat nearly decapitated the head from the shoulders. Clearly a deadly weapon.

Dr. Dorian: While this is indeed a deadly weapon, I notice that is a very close range weapon. It requires the user to be very close to the target.

Max: This one is obvious. The Kusarigama has multiple uses, and has a much greater range then the Khanjar. While the Khanjar is deadly, it's nothing compared to the Kusarigama.

**_Edge:_** Ninja

_Narrator:_ With all the testing complete, Max Geiger uploads the data gathered from the tests into the battle simulation, developed by Slitherine Studio, to simulate a battle to the death between these two warriors. To make sure that victory isn't snatched by a single lucky blow, the battle will be simulated 1000 times. Who will win in this battle of two very different opponents? The Ninja, Japan's master assassin? Or the Zande, Africa's unstoppable berserker?

Close Range Edge: Ninja's Ninjato

Mid Range Edge: Zande's Makrigga

Long Range Edge One: Zande's Kpinga

Long Range Edge Two: Zande's Botto & Pima

Special Weapon Edge: Ninja's Kusarigama

It's time to find out which warrior is truly the deadliest. Max hits the button on the computer, and suddenly the screen goes "Matrix" on us.

Since every fight in the 3rd season were all groups fights, I shall try my hand at having a group fight. As such, this battle will be between five Zande tribesman and five Ninjas.

At night, five ninjas, each cloaked in black creep through the dark forest. There, they come across a Zande camp, where three of the Zande are sleeping, while the last two keep watch. Two ninjas nod to each other, before making their move through the underbrush. The first Ninja prepares a Blowgun, while the other sneaks up with a Ninjato.

The one with the Ninjato strikes first, jabbing his blade through the back of the Zande's throat. However, the Zande's bloody croak, combined with the sound of his Makrigga dropping to the ground, alerts the other Zande that something is a miss. As he turns on his heel to face his friends attacker, a poisonous dart just barely misses him, hitting the tree next to his head. Seeing the dart, the Zande's head snaps in the Ninja's direction, a shout on his lips which wakes the rest of the Zandes.

**Zande: 4**  
**Ninja: 5**

The still living guard charges at the Blowgun Ninja with his Makrigga, ready to skewer him. The Ninja desperately tries to feed another dart into his Blowgun, but is forced to dodge a deadly stab from the Zande's lance.

The other Ninja pulls his sword from his foes neck, and makes his way over to help his comrade. But halfway there, one of the other Zande's grabs a Kpinga, and tosses it with all his might. The blades hum through the air as it flies, before slamming into the Ninja's back, one of the blades piercing out his front. The Ninja gives a horrible scream of pain, before falling to the ground dead.

The scream attracts the attention of the still fighting Ninja and Zande. The Zande turns his head to look just for a second; but that's enough time for the Ninja to shoot a dart at the side of the man's neck. Once he sees it hit, he turns to run, even as the Zande's Makrigga nicks his side.

The Zande leader stands up holding his Botto & Pima, and fires a shot at the fleeing Ninja, which hits him in the arm. The Ninja disappears into the darkness, meeting with his fellow Ninja. While the loss of one of their own is sad, they must finish their mission and kill the other Zande. A task which will be made all the harder now that the Zande know their there.

The Zande split up to search for the other Ninja, and any allies he might have hiding with him. At the same time, the Ninja's split into two teams, each one setting out to hunt down a separate Zande group.

**Zande: 4**  
**Ninja: 4**

Silently moving through the forest growth, a Ninja with a Kusarigama and the Ninja who had the blowgun find two Zande: one with a Makrigga, and one with a Makraka.

While searching, the Zande with the Makrigga starts breathing heavily, his face covered with sweat. As the other Zande notices and asks what is wrong, the poisoned Zande clutches his chest, and drops to the ground, dead as a doornail.

At the same time, the Ninja with the Kusarigama moves to strike him from behind, while the Blowgun Ninja stays in the back just in case. But Blowgun Ninja wasn't feeling so hot. His limbs felt heavy, and it was getting hard to breath. Before he could say anything, tunnel vision set in, and he collapsed; falling dead to the floor.

**Zande: 3**  
**Ninja: 3**

Not knowing his comrade is dead, the other Ninja moves forward. Gripping the chain, he twirls the weighted in of the Kusarigama a few times before he tosses it. But the clinking of the chain is enough to alert the Zande to his attacker. Turning, the ball on the Ninja's weapon hits his shoulder and not his head. It hurts, but it's not lethal.

He raises his Makraka and charges, but the weighted ball comes back and strikes the blade from his hand. Another swing has the ball wrapped around his ankle, and before he knows it, the Zande is pulled off his feet and sent crashing down.

Seeing his chance, the Ninja rushes forwards to finish the job. As the blade of the Kusarigama prepares to enter the Zande's heart, he manages to capture the hand in a deadly grip. While still holding the hand, he uses the other to deliver a powerful sucker punch to the Ninja's chin sending him falling back.

The Zande makes to grab his Makraka, but the Ninja kicks him in the face. But when he tries again, the Zande grabs his leg and bites him, his filed teeth easily piercing flesh. The Ninja cries out in pain, distracted long enough that he doesn't stop the Zande from grabbing his sword. By the time he notices, its too late. The Zande buries the blade in one side of the Ninja's stomach, and slices through to the other side, disemboweling him in the process. The Ninja gives one final scream, before dying.

**Zande: 3**  
**Ninja: 2**

A Zande wandered the underbrush uncertainly. He had separated from his partner, and in the dark, had gotten somewhat turned around. He didn't want to call out, and risk alerting the enemy to his position, which was what lead to him walking half blind through the woods.

Suddenly, a chain shot from the woods, and wrapped around his Makrigga spear. With a sharp tug, it was jerked from his hands and he was sent stumbling forward. That was when the Ninja emerged from the darkness to strike.

He brought his Kama blade up to pierce the Zande's heart, but found his hand caught mid strike. The Zande tried to retaliate with a left hook, but the Ninja caught that. As the two stood there, each trying to overpower the other, the Ninja lashed out with a kick that caught the Zande in the stomach. He followed that up with a headbut, which sent his opponent stumbling back. Before he had a chance to recover, the Ninja grabbed the chain under his Kama blade, and and spun the sickle towards the injured tribesman. Said Zande hardly had time to react when suddenly a sharp blade buried itself in his ear, piercing his brain. A sharp tug brought the instrument of death back to the Ninja, who watched dispassionately as the Zande fell to the ground, dead.

**Zande: 2**  
**Ninja: 2**

Meeting up with the other Ninja, the two assassins made their way through the brush in search of their prey. Spotting a Zande, the two quickly formed a plan, then made their move.

The Zande heard a rustle in the bushes in front of him, just as a Ninja appeared from behind a tree. The Zande raised his Makraka, ready to charge, when he felt a sharp pain in the back of his legs. Turning, he saw another Ninja, Shuriken in hand. That shuriken was quickly tossed, where it joined others that had stabbed into the back of the Zande's legs.

The Ninja charged, his speed a great advantage against the slowed Zande. Their blades clashed, but the Ninja twisted his blade and disarmed his opponent. Before he could stab the Zande with his blade however, the Zande slammed his fist into the Ninja's throat, making him choke and gasp, dropping the Ninjato in pain. The Zande grabbed the Ninja by his tunic and slammed him into the tree in front of them, even as the Ninja recovered and struggled. The only weapon the Ninja still had on him were a few Shuriken.

The Zande took the Khanjar from his belt, preparing to finish the Ninja. Before he could, the Ninja grasped the Shuriken at his own belt, and with them, drove the blades into the Zande's throat. The wound was clearly a lethal one, but it wasn't instantly fatal. This gave the Zande enough time to enact his revenge. In one swift motion, he took the Khanjar and drove it into the Ninja's brain. The Ninja twitched, then was still. The Zande grinned, before coughing up blood and falling backwards, as dead as his adversary.

**Zande: 1**  
**Ninja: 1**

The head Ninja crept through the woods, finding himself back at the Zande's campsite. Across from him, he saw the Zande come out from the foliage, stained in the blood of the Ninja's comrades. The Ninja took a ready stance with his Ninjato, while the Zande did the same with a Makraka and Khanjar. The two of them stepped forward, and began circling one another, the Zande's campfire between them.

Then, with a furious roar, the Zande leapt over the fire and swung his Makraka downward. The Ninja blocked with his Ninjato, but quickly had to sidestep a thrust from the Khanjar. He sliced at the Zande's chest, leaving a deep scratch, but was rewarded with a slice in his arm from the Zande's dagger for his trouble.

Forced on the defensive, the Ninja waited for an opportunity to strike. When the Zande went to take his arm off with a downward strike from his Makraka, the Ninja leaned to the side, the blade hissing as it sliced through the air. Even as the blade passed him, he sliced upwards with his Ninjato. The long steel blade hit the Khanjar and knocked it from the Zande's grip, sending the blade falling to the floor.

Taking the Makraka in both hands, the Zande stepped back, catching his breath as he tried to make a plan of attack. At the same time, the Ninja also stepped back, his hand slipping stealthily into his cloths and grabbing a small black object.

A moment later, the two charged each other again, thought now the Ninja had his Ninjato in one hand. When they collided, the Zande's Makraka easily pushed forward, inching closer and closer to the Ninja. The Zande smirked, sure he was going to win this contest of strength. That was when he saw the Ninja's other hand coming around.

With one deft movement, the Ninja tossed the Black Egg into the Zande's eyes. At such close range, there was no way he could miss. The Black Egg shattered, spreading it's contents into the eyes of the Zande. As the glass dug and cut into his corneas, the Zande reeled back in surprise and pain. Taking hasty steps backwards, he tripped over his feet, and fell backwards into the campfire.

The Ninja watched as the Zande's cloths caught fire, and the Zande cried out from having both his eyes damaged and his back burned. He moaned as he rolled away from the fire and shakily stood up, one hand still on his eyes. Deciding that he should just end it, the Ninja stepped forward. With one swift motion, his Ninjato separated the Zande's head from his shoulders. The head hit the ground and rolled away, and the Zande's body collapsed.

Flicking the blood off his blade, the Ninja nodded his head to his fallen foe, before turning, and dashing back off into the shadows of the night.

**Winner: Ninja**

**Ninja: 553**

Kusarigama: 255

Ninjato: 188

Blowgun: 60

Shuriken: 50

Black Eggs: 0

**Zande: 447**

Makrigga: 130

Makraka: 120

Kpinga: 100

Botto & Pima: 86

Khanjar: 11

_Narrator:_ In this climactic battle of two very different opponents, it was the Ninja who snatched up victory. While the Zande was strong in almost all his weapon categories, it wasn't enough to overcome the Ninja.

Dr. Dorian: While both warriors wear no armor, both are very different fighters. The Ninja is great at killing silently and stealthily, while the Zande could probably rip you apart with his bare hands. But the Ninja is cunning, and won't always fight fair. Their strategy, and the effective way they used their weapons, is probably what sealed their victory.

_We see the Ninja running through the shadows. With the rest of his team dead, he wanted to take extra care not to be caught by any more enemies. At his hip is the Khanjar knife of the Zande. He had taken it to remind him of one of the stronger opponents he had faced. Now all he had to do was heal himself, and prepare for the inevitable next mission._

**The End.**


	35. Rajput vs Pirate

_Disclaimer: I don't own Deadliest Warrior; but I wish I did. _

**Deadliest Warrior, Chapter 32: Rajput vs. Pirate**

_Narrator:_  
Rajput; India's menacing martial arts master, who defeated enemies with a diabolical arsenal designed to kill. Last time, that arsenal came in handy for when the Rajput found himself in a fight to the death with an Aztec Jaguar.

(We see the Rajput decapitate the Aztec with a Chakram).

_Narrator:_  
Pirate, a murderess killer of the high sea. Last time, the Pirate found himself fighting for his life when he plundered gold on Samurai territory. But with guns a blazing, he made off with his booty.

(We see the Pirate lob a Grenado, which explodes and kills a Samurai).

**WHO IS DEADLIEST?**

To find out, our world class fighters are testing histories most lethal weapons. Using 21st century science, we'll see what happens when the two warriors go toe to toe. No rules. No safety. No mercy. It's a duel to the death, to decide who is...THE DEADLIEST WARRIOR!

Rajput

Height: 5' 6"

Weight: 145 LBS

Year: 900 AD

Armor: Leather & Chain Mail

Loyalty: Country and Kinsmen

Wins (1): Samurai

Pirate

Heigh: 5' 10"

Weigh: 170 LBS

Year: 17th Century

Armor: None

Loyalty: Money

Wins (1): Aztec Jaguar

_Narrator: _Here in the Fight Club, we take five weapons used by India's greatest fighter: The Rajput

Katar

Chakram

Tabar

Khanda

Aara

_Narrator: _and then test them against the tools of the nefarious scourge of the sea: The Pirate

Grenado

Flintlock Pistol

Blunderbuss

Cutlass

Boarding Axe

_Narrator: _For our first test, the two warriors take aim with their long range weapons: The Rajput's Chakram against the Pirate's Flintlock Pistol.

Max: For this test, we have to ask ourselves: Will the bullet pierce the leather and chain mail?

Geoff: Well, the leather, probably, but the chain-mail? I'm not sure. Frankly, I think the Pistol has more cons then pros.

Dr. Dorian: True, and let's look at the Chakram. It has a much greater range, and unlike the Pistol, cannot misfire.

Geoff: Exactly, even if the Flintlock can pierce the chain mail, it's just not enough compared to the Chakram.

Max: Alright, looks like this time, the more modern weapon loses. Long Range Edge goes to the Chakram.

Edge: Rajput

_Narrator: _Now it's time for the second test, the warriors get closer, as they bring out their mid range weaponry: The Pirate's Blunderbuss against the Rajput's Tabar.

Max: Sweet, a new weapon. Well, before we can make any judgments, let's test it out!

Fred walked into the Fight Club, having been on break for quite a while. He picked up the Tabar, examining the large weapon. It was about the size of the Halberd, but with a large Axe head on top. Weighing it in his hands, he approached his gel torso target.

With one mighty swing, he plunged the Tabar earthward, and split the gel dummy in two.

Not to be outdone, Bob, who had entered just after Fred, had quickly picked up his Blunderbuss, and prepared it for firing. Taking aim at his dummy, which was decked out in Rajput armor. Making sure he was holding it properly, he fired the large weapon.

The barrage of bullets tore through the chain-mail, puncturing a multitude of tiny holes in the body.

Dr. Dorian: Looking at the damage here, I know that both of these are kill shots.

Geoff: Gee, thanks Doc. Well, I have to pick the Blunderbuss for this, it has greater range then the Tabar.

Max: I guess. Even though the Tabar is impressive, it seems like by the time either warrior is in range to use their weapons, the Blunderbuss would kill first. Even though the Tabar doesn't ever misfire.

Geoff: Yeah yeah, cry me a river. Your just mad that the new weapon didn't win an edge. Mid Range edge to the Blunderbuss.

Edge: Pirate

_Narrator: _Next, the third test, where the warriors get up close and personal with their short range weapons: The Rajput Khanda and the Pirate Cutlass.

Max: Now this is a clear edge. The Khanda is a much more powerful blade, and is being used against an unarmored opponent. The Cutlass is going up against chain mail, armor specifically designed against slashing weapons. While the Cutlass could try stabbing, that's not what it was made for.

Geoff: Your right, in the end, the Khanda is just a better blade.

Dr. Dorian: So we're all in agreement; the short range edge goes to the Khanda.

Edge: Rajput

_Narrator: _We're nearing the end now, with only two tests to go. Now our warriors will showcase their special weapons: The Pirate Grenado against the Rajput Katar.

Max: Grenado.

Geoff: Grenado?

Max: Grenado.

Geoff: Alright, Grenado.

Dr. Dorian: Yes, for sheer fire power alone, the Grenado is more then capable of blasting the Rajput off his feet. While the Katar are deadly, they just aren't as satisfying by comparison. Edge to the Grenado.

Edge: Pirate

_Narrator: _For the final test, our warriors bring out a final set of weapons. Their not special, just sort of…. unusual…..: The Rajput Aara, and the Pirate Boarding Axe.

Max: I don't think the Boarding Axe can pierce the Rajput's armor.

Geoff: Maybe, but as we saw in testing, the Aara isn't actually lethal at all.

Dr. Dorian: Well, I guess that since both of these weapons do a pretty poor job of causing fatal injuries, we'll just have to declare this portion a tie.

Edge: Tie

_Narrator: _With all the testing complete, Max Geiger uploads the data gathered from the tests into the battle simulation, developed by Slitherine Studio, to simulate a battle to the death between these two warriors. To make sure that victory isn't snatched by a single lucky blow, the battle will be simulated 1000 times. Who will win in this battle of two very different warriors? The fearsome Rajput, and his versatile arsenal of death? Or the Pirate, the ruthless seafarer, who brings black powder weapons into the equation?

Close Range Edge: Rajput's Khanda

Mid Range Edge: Pirate's Blunderbuss

Long Range Edge: Rajput's Chakram

Special Weapon Edge: Pirate's Grenado

Unusual Weapon Edge: Tie between Aara and Boarding Axe

It's time to find out which warrior is truly the deadliest. Max hits the button on the computer, and suddenly the screen goes "Matrix" on us.

This fight takes place near a sea port in India. The area is nearly deserted, with few people walking through the streets. Over the last few weeks, a band of Pirates has been raiding towns near the waterfront. For this reason, the local government has sent five Rajput warriors to protect this small town. One day, five Pirates arrive, and begin to trash up the place. The villagers flee, but the Rajput stay, eager to put a stop to this once and for all.

One Pirate happily loads a sack with gold. He was there with four others (one of them his captain) to load up on supplies and loot for the next big voyage. Hearing shouts, he turned and expected to see more frightened villagers. Instead, he saw Rajput soldiers running towards him and the others. Calling out, he pulled a Flintlock Pistol from his belt and fired, but at this distance his aim was so sloppy he didn't hit anything but a fruit stand to his target's left.

Said target though had much better aim. This was proved when the Rajput hurled his deadly Chakram with enough force to nearly split the Pirate's head in two. It didn't, but it was enough to kill the Pirate before he could finish another thought.

Seeing their comrade die like that instantly earned the Rajputs the Pirate's ire. Now: It. Was. On!

**Rajput: 5**

**Pirate: 4**

The Pirates split, one reaching into his pouch for a Grenado. One of the Rajputs saw him do this, and prepared to hurl a Chakram at the rapscallion. But the Pirates captain had much better aim then his comrades, and the Rajputs were much closer. This meant that when he shot of his Flintlock, the bullet went right through the Rajput's skull.

**Rajput: 4**

**Pirate: 4**

A Pirate ran down a side street, a Rajput wielding a Tabar close behind. The Rajput swung, and knocked the Pirate's hat off. The Pirate turned slightly and fired a pistol in a panic, but if flew harmlessly passed the Indian.

Reaching a dead end, the Pirate turned, taking his Blunderbuss off his belt. As he did, he immediately had to duck and roll to avoid having his head removed. The Tabar buried itself in the wood of a stall, and before the Rajput could pull it out, the Pirate stood, gun at the read. At such close distance, there was no way he could miss.

'Click'

The Blunderbuss clicked sadly as it failed to fire its contents. In the second it took to register what had just happened, the Rajput had freed the Tabar, and was already in mid swing.

The Pirate grunted as the blade of the ax-like weapon buried itself deeply in his side. When the blade was pulled back (along with extracting a great deal of his intestines), he gave a great shuddering gasp, then died.

**Rajput: 4**

**Pirate: 3**

Two Rajputs chased the Pirate captain down the street of the semi-abandoned town. The Pirate suddenly turned and ran into an empty building, slamming the door and barring it behind him.

The Rajput hammered on the door, the old wood splintering under their assault. Soon, the door broke under their assault and they charged in. They saw the Pirate leap out the window on the opposite side of the room, and a heard a hissing noise. Looking down, they saw a large Grenado placed on the ground before them.

They turned to run, but it was too late. The bomb burst, sending shrapnel in all direction as the explosion knocked both Rajput's away. One Rajput was killed from the force of the explosion, the other from the shards that peppered his body.

**Rajput: 2**

**Pirate: 3**

Elsewhere, a Pirate found himself in a dead end, with the only way out blocked by a Rajput wielding a Khanda. Seeing no way out, the Pirate drew his Cutlass, and prepared for battle.

The two duel back and forth, the lighter Cutlass moving quickly but unable to get passed the slower, heavier Khanda. The Pirate manages to leave some light cuts on the Rajput's hands, but only after the Rajput cuts the Pirate's jacket. It seems that they are at a stalemate.

Finally, the Pirate manages to sidestep the Rajput, and slices at his midsection. Sadly, the Cutlass just slides across the chain mail armor, doing little damage. Before the Pirate can correct his mistake, the hits him in the side, knocking him to the ground. He tries to get up, but the Rajput brings the Khanda down like an executioner's axe, and buries in the Pirate's back.

**Rajput: 2**

**Pirate: 2**

Tired, the Rajput walks out of the ally into the street. As he walks down past several abandoned stalls, he fails to notice a Pirate hiding behind one. The Pirate, not wanting to engage the Rajput in physical combat after what he'd just seen, slowly crept up behind the Indian man. Taking the Boarding Axe from his belt.

Closing the distance, he charges the last few feet. The Rajput hears him, but has no time to react as the Boarding Axe is buried int the back of his neck, severing his spine and dropping him like a sack of laundry. He collapses, unable to move at all, and quickly bleeds out on the ground.

**Rajput: 1**

**Pirate: 2**

Hearing a roar of fury, the Pirate turns to see the last Rajput coming at him with Katar's drawn. The Pirate panics and hurls his Boarding Axe like a throwing axe, only to see the Rajput easily bat it aside.

The Pirate starts to run, desperately tugging Flintlock Pistols from his belt. He turns as he runs to fire over his shoulder at his pursuer, but fear and the rapid movement made the already iffy shots from the Pistol even worse, and most of the shots flew harmlessly past. By sheer luck though, the Pirate did manage to hit the Rajput's left ear. It wasn't fatal, and if anything it just seemed to make him even angrier, but it was still a decent shot.

Finally, the Pirate realizes he can run no more, and pulls out his Cutlass. The Rajput catches up, and the Pirate ducks under the first jab to make a sweeping slice at the Rajput's knees. It does some damage, but the Rajput jerks his one of his knees up and hits the Pirate in the chin, sending him stumbling back.

The Rajput stabs at the thief, but the Pirate manages to catch it with his sword's blade. Sadly, that does nothing to slow the other Katar, which enters in the Pirate's chest. The Pirate gasps and coughs, his life blood staining his shirt, but that is not noticed by the Rajput who takes the time to stab the Pirate a second and third time; before finally tossing the body away.

**Rajput: 1**

**Pirate: 1**

The battle might have ended right there. The Rajput did not see the Pirate captain standing nearby, Blunderbuss at the ready (one of the two he had left). The Pirate aimed, and without a second thought, pulled the trigger.

**Click. **Bugger.

That single click gave away his position, and the Rajput turned and saw him. Readying his Katars, he charged the Pirate, who turned and fled, as was his nature.

But he surprised the Rajput when instead of actually fleeing, he grabbed the bag which contained his supplies and treasure and hurled it at the Rajput. The Rajput instinctively put his arms up, and grunted as the heavy bag slammed into him. It also kept him from attacking as the Pirate ran forward and kicked the Rajput right in the stomach, sending him stumbling back. The Pirate was now wielding a Cutlass in one hand, and a Boarding Axe in the other.

He charged the Rajput, ready to slice him to bits. But the Indian wasn't going down without a fight. He slashed his Katars at the Pirate's face, knocking off his hat and tracing a thin but bloody line across his forehead. The Pirate slashed at the Rajput's chest, but the blade didn't damage the chain mail. The Rajput stabbed at the Pirate, piercing both his coat and his left shoulder, making the sea farer grunt in pain. The Pirate tried to return the favor, but had his blade caught i the prongs of the Katar.

The Rajput went to disarm the Pirate with a twist of the wrist, when a sharp, unbearable pain shot through his other wrist. Looking down, he saw that the pirate had stabbed his wrist with the point of the Boarding Axe, making him drop the Katar in that hand. The Rajput's eyes narrowed, and he twisted the other Katar, sending the Cutlass flipping through the air.

The Pirate seeing he would never win with just his Boarding Axe, tried to turn and run. But as he did, the Rajput drove the Katar into his back, creating a painful, though non-lethal, wound. Seeing the Pirate stumbling away, and not feeling like chasing him down, the Rajput produced his Aara. He slashed the whip-like weapon, striking the Pirate across the back. When that failed to produce the proper results, he swept low with it, catching the fleeing Pirate's ankle with it, sending him tumbling, landing on his own supply bag.

The Rajput stabbed downward, looking to end this already drawn out fight. But the Pirate rolled over at the last minute and used the bag as a shield. Whatever was inside was enough to protect the Pirate, and frustrate the Rajput. The warrior pulled back, taking the bag with him as he tried to get it off his weapon.

When he did though, he heard the by now familiar sound of a gun being cocked. Looking down, he saw himself facing the business end of the Pirate's last Blunderbuss. Before he could so much as speak a single word, the Pirate blasted the Rajput off him with a thunderous boom. The Rajput was thrown back, hitting the ground hard before laying still.

Shakily, the Pirate managed to stand, wincing at the stab in his back. Limping over to the Rajput, the Pirate saw he was indeed dead. Filled with the kind of glee that only comes from knowing you were alive and your opponent is dead, the Pirate threw back his head and laughed!

Winner: Pirate

Pirate: 524

Blunderbuss: 300

Grenado: 165

Cutlass: 42

Flintlock Pistol: 14

Boarding Axe: 3

Rajput: 476

Tabar: 180

Khanda: 166

Katar: 100

Chakram: 30

Aara: 0

_Narrator: _In this epic battle of primitive black powder versus steel, it was the Pirate that managed to squeak out a victory. While his gunpowder weapons such as the Grenado and Blunderbuss scored amazingly well in the simulation, all his other weapons did fairly poorly compared to the Rajput's weapon.

Geoff: That should show just what kind of game changer Black Powder really was; even the primitive kind. It may not have always worked, but when it did, it worked **very **well. While I appreciate the deadly capacity of the Rajput's weapons, the Pirate's just had more lethal power that could be used from a greater range, and thus farther away from the Rajput's comfortable kill zone.

_We see the Pirate back with the rest of his crew on his ship. They have a brief moment of silence to honor the dead, the begin to count the booty they've 'earned'. Amongst their stolen treasures are the weapons and armor stolen off the bodies of the Rajput. As far as the Pirate's concerned, they won't be needing them anymore. _

**The End.**


	36. Yakuza vs Viet Cong

_Disclaimer: I don't own Deadliest Warrior; but I wish I did. _

**Deadliest Warrior, Chapter 33: Yakuza vs. Viet Cong**

** Redemption Match!**

_Narrator: _

Yakuza; cruel warlords of Japan's underworld. Last time, the gang failed to prevent an IRA attack on their turf, and paid the ultimate price for their failure.

(We see the Yakuza leader get blown up by and IRA nail bomb).

_Narrator: _

Viet Cong; the rag-tag guerilla force that took the American military head on, and one the Vietnam War. But last time, the Viet Cong were unable to stop a squad of Cartel members from setting up shop.

(We see the leader of the Cartel group blow up the Viet Cong with a car bomb).

**WHO IS DEADLIEST?**

To find out, our world class fighters are testing histories most lethal weapons. Using 21st century science, we'll see what happens when the two warriors go toe to toe. No rules. No safety. No mercy. It's a duel to the death, to decide who is...THE DEADLIEST WARRIOR!

Yakuza:

Height - 5' 6"

Weight - 150 LBS

Armor - None

Gear - 10 LBS

Viet Cong:

Height: 5' 4"

Weight: 120 LBS

Reign of Terror: 1954 - 1976

Allegiance: Ho Chi Minh

_Narrator: _Here at the Fight Club, we take five weapons used by the best of Japan's underworld, the Yakuza:

Sten Gun

Ceramic Grenade

Walther P38

Nunchakus

Sai

_Narrator: _and see how they match up against the weapons used by the fearsome guerilla force; the Viet Cong:

MAT-49N

POMZ-2

Tokarev-TT33

Punji Stakes

Bayonet

_Narrative: _For our first test, our two teams will start off guns a blazing; as we test out their primary firearms: The Yakuza Sten Gun against the Viet Cong MAT-49N.

Max: I don't know guys, these are both pretty good war guns.

Geoff: That's true. Both are capable of some pretty heavy firepower, and both have some great accuracy.

Max: Actually, I think the MAT might be a little more accurate. And if that's the case, that might be what's needed to close up this edge.

Dr. Dorian: I'd have to agree. It's close, but I have to give the edge to the MAT.

Edge: Viet Cong

_Narrative: _For our second test, things get interesting as our two teams try to blow one another away with their explosive weapons: The Cong's POMZ-2 grenade trap, and the Yakuza's Ceramic Grenade.

Dr. Dorian: While the POMZ is certainly lethal, the odds are good that it'll only kill one person. The Ceramic Grenade is much more likely to do a wider area of damage.

Geoff: Let's not forget, that once the POMZ is set, it can't be moved again. The Ceramic Grenade has it for sheer mobility.

Max: Then it looks like we're all in agreement. The Explosive edge goes to the Ceramic Grenade.

Edge: Yakuza

_Narrative: _Now for the third test, where our warriors will draw their guns, and see just who has the better secondary firearm: The Yakuza Walther P38 or the Viet Cong Tokarev-TT33.

Geoff: These weapons are pretty similar.

Max: I don't know, I think the Tokarev might be a little better.

Dr. Dorian: Any minor differences can usually be attributed to the individual wielding the gun. For these reasons, I vote we call the first test a draw.

Geoff: I second that.

Max: Then it's official.

Edge: Tie

_Narrative: _Next comes the fourth test, where we test out some close range weapons: The Cong Bayonet against the Yakuza Sai.

Geoff: While the Bayonet has the advantage of being attached to a gun, other then that, it's just a knife.

Dr. Dorian: The Sai on the other hand, has several uses. It is a very versatile weapon. It can be used for both attacking and defending.

Max: For those reasons, I say that the close range edge goes to the Sai.

Edge: Yakuza

_Narrative: _For the last test, we test out some random weapons, while talking about an X factor.

The Yakuza are masters of precisions and controlled strikes. This is symbolized through their weapon: The Nunchakus.

The Viet Cong are masters of guerilla tactics and traps. This is symbolized through their weapon: Punji Stakes.

Max: Comparably, the Punji Stakes seem more deadly then the Nunchakus. While the Nunchakus are mobile, they are not as inherently deadly as the Stakes.

Geoff: That said, I have to give this to the Stakes. They come in two different types, and are a sure kill. Edge to the Punji Stakes.

Edge: Viet Cong

_Narrator: _With all the testing complete, Max Geiger uploads the data gathered from the tests into the battle simulation, developed by Slitherine Studio, to simulate a battle to the death between these two warriors. To make sure that victory isn't snatched by a single lucky blow, the battle will be simulated 1000 times. Who will win in this battle of two very different opponents? The Yakuza, who fight for money and power? Or the Cong, who fight to repel all invaders from their country?

Primary Firearm Edge: Viet Cong MAT-49N

Explosive Weapon Edge: Yakuza Ceramic Grenade

Secondary Firearm Edge: Tie between Walther and Tokarev

X Factor Edge: Viet Cong Punji Stakes

Close Range Edge: Yakuza Sai

It's time to find out which warrior is truly the deadliest. Max hits the button on the computer, and suddenly the screen goes "Matrix" on us.

The fight opens up on the forest of Vietnam. In a small clearing, a group of five Viet Cong rest after a hard day. But unbeknownst to them, the camp is being surrounded by Yakuza. The Yakuza want to clear out the Viet Cong, so that they can set up their own operations there.

As two Yakuza approach the leader's tent from behind, one of the Yakuza steps on a small hidden wire. The crackling of branches alters his companion, who tries to call out to his unweary friend. But it's too late. A large heavy Punji ball swings down and hits him right in the head, impaling him in the face and killing him instantly.

Sadly, the sound of the ball also alerts the tents occupants, who rush out to see what caused the commotion, guns drawn. Seeing the two Yakuza, and recognizing them as unfriendly, raise their MATs to fire. The Yakuza though is just a bit faster, and fires with his own Sten gun to hit the closest Cong in the chest, toppling him, before turning and running back into the woods.

**Yakuza: 4**

**Viet Cong: 4**

Seeing the commotion, a Yakuza from the other side of the small camp steps into view with a Ceramic grenade, and tosses it at the clustered Cong. The Cong cell leader sees him, and shoots him with the Tokarev, but not before the grenade lands near his men. He calls out a warning to duck and cover; but the bomb explodes, sending two Cong flying.

As the dust settles, the Cong leader quickly checks his men. The first is fine, just a little dazed with blood coming out his ear. The other, sadly, is dead, shrapnel littering his body. Hearing groaning behind them, the Cong turns to see that the shot had not yet killed the Yakuza. Frowning, the leader empties the rest of his clip into the Yakuza's chest in anger, finishing him.

**Yakuza: 3**

**Viet Cong: 3**

Meanwhile in the woods, one Viet Cong has caught up with a slower Yakuza. The Yakuza draws his Sai, and steps in close to the Cong, making it to hard to hit him with a shot. But the Cong has equipped his gun with a Bayonet, and stabs at the Yakuza, sticking him deep in the side. The Yakuza grunts in pain, and slices back at the Cong, leaving a deep gash across his chest.

The Cong stabs downward, then fires, taking out the Yakuza's limb. The Yakuza screams in pain, and buries his Sai deep into the Cong's throat in retaliation. With one last gurgling cry, the Viet Cong falls backwards, dead.

**Yakuza: 3**

**Viet Cong: 2**

Sadly for him, the sound of their battle has attracted another Viet Cong. With his leg badly injured, he is in no shape to outrun or dodge the bullets from the Cong's MAT-49.

**Yakuza: 2**

**Viet Cong: 2**

Elsewhere, another Yakuza makes his move. He'd played a mean game of cat and mouse with the Viet Cong, and gotten him to empty his MAT magazine. When he went to reload, he leapt from his hiding place and smacked the Cong across the face with his Nunchakus.

The Cong reeled back, but the Yakuza struck him again and again, breaking his nose, his jaw and his chin. But before he could deliver the finishing blow, another Cong charged through the brambles and started firing his Tokarev. The Yakuza turned on his heel and fled, the Cong in hot pursuit.

The beaten and bruised Cong picks himself up and spits out some loose teeth. He refills his gun and prepares to chase after the bastard who'd put him in this condition.

Then a shot rings through the air, and the Cong falls face down in the mud. A Yakuza peaks out from behind a tree, and blows the smoke from his Walther.

**Yakuza: 2**

**Viet Cong: 1**

The Yakuza leaps over logs and runs through streams, but still the Cong chases after him. The Cong has managed to hit him in the shoulder with his Tokarev, leaving a wound that makes it even harder for him to shoot back.

Finally, the chase comes to an end as the Yakuza turns and fires a shot with his Walther that goes wide and misses the Cong completely. But while he's not looking, the Yakuza trips a POMZ-2, and get his legs blown right out from under him.

**Yakuza: 1**

**Viet Cong: 1**

Taking a moment to catch his breath, the Viet Cong begins stalking the forest for more prey. As he passes a tree, the bark besides him explodes as the last remaining Yakuza opens fire at him. Ducking for cover the Viet Cong does the same. Soon, both are out of ammo.

As the two hear their opponents guns click empty, the Viet Cong stands up, and pulls out his Bayonet-ed MAT. The gun is empty, but he feels the knife will do the job. At the same time, the Yakuza throws down his Walther, and removes the two Sai he had hidden behind his back.

The two circle each other like tigers, each waiting for the other to make a mistake, each waiting for the opportune moment to strike the other dead.

They charge, the Yakuza's longer reach letting him land some good blows on the Cong's torso, but they only add up to scratches. The Cong stabs with his Bayonet, but misses. The Yakuza tries to stab the slightly shorter man through the eye, but the Cong ducks, and stabs upwards in retaliation, leaving a mark that will no doubt scar across the Yakuza's cheek.

The Yakuza sticks the Cong in the shoulder, but gets a kick to the stomach in return. At this point it nearly descends into rabid wrestling, even as the Viet Cong spots something out of the corner of his eye. The two punch and kick and stab each other like vicious animals.

Finally, with a massive heave, the Viet Cong shoves the Yakuza off him, and sends him stumbling back. But as the Yakuza places his foot back to steady himself, he finds the ground unstable, and falls backwards… directly into a Punji Stake pit.

The Viet Cong approaches cautiously, but there is no need. It's clear from the moment he looks down that the battle is over. Tossing down his weapon, the Viet Cong raises his hands up and screams in victory!

Winner: Viet Cong

**Viet Cong: 514**

MAT-49N: 250

Punji Stakes: 111

Tokarev-TT33: 73

POMZ-2: 50

Bayonet: 30

**Yakuza: 486**

Sten Gun: 240

Ceramic Grenade: 99

Walther P38: 62

Sai: 60

Nunchakus: 25

Narrator: In this climatic battle of two of histories most vicious gun wielders, it was the Viet Cong who toppled the mightily Yakuza. And it's not hard to see why; with their MAT-49N and Punji traps both scoring in the triple digits.

Dr. Dorian: While the Yakuza may be able to get the job done quickly and with great accurately, the Viet Cong are simply craftier. They lay traps, they attack in ambushes… the Yakuza just couldn't overcome their opponents tactics.

_We see the Viet Cong meet up with some others. He reports the casualties, as well as the victory. While the dead are mourned, they are all glad to have once again repelled invaders from their land. _

**The End.**


	37. Viking vs Mongol

_Disclaimer: I don't own Deadliest Warrior; but I wish I did. _

**Deadliest Warrior, Chapter 34: Viking vs. Mongol**

**Redemption Match!  
**

_Narrator: _

Viking, battled crazed berzerker who terrorized ancient Europe. Last time he entered the battle, he left a bloody broken Gladiator in his wake. Will another warrior suffer a similar fate?

(We see the Viking slit the Gladiator's throat with his Long Sword).

_Narrator: _

Mongol, the vicious asian horse warriors who used pure savagery to conquer more territory in the 13th century then any empire in history. Last time, said savagery was not enough to overcome the incredibly disciplined Knight. But will it overcome a foe of equal savagery?

(We see the Mongol getting his head sliced off by the Knight's sword).

**WHO IS DEADLIEST?**

To find out, our world class fighters are testing histories most lethal weapons. Using 21st century science, we'll see what happens when the two warriors go toe to toe. No rules. No safety. No mercy. It's a duel to the death, to decide who is...THE DEADLIEST WARRIOR!

Viking:

Height - 5' 11"

Weight - 180 LBS

Gear - 65 LBS

Armor - Chain Mail

Win(s): 1 (Gladiator)

Mongol:

Circa 1225

Height: 5' 5"

Weight: 145 LBS

Armor: Leather Lamellar

Lost: 1 (Knight)

_Narrator: _Here in the fight club, we take four weapons used by the mighty Vikings:

Great Axe

Long Sword

Viking Spear

Viking Shield

_Narrator: _and see how they fare against the weapons used by the savage Mongol warriors:

Flanged Mace

Glaive

Recurve Bow

Ild Sword

_Narrator: _For our first test, the two teams will engage in a battle of strength with their short range weapons: The Viking Great Axe against the Mongol Flanged Mace.

Geoff: Well, let's look at it like this: the Great Axe has a longer handle, so it has better range. It's also a cutting weapon, as opposed to a blunt force weapon.

Max: Yeah, both will be effective against the others armor, but remember the Viking has a shield.

Geoff: So in the end, I think the close range edge goes to the Great Axe.

Edge: Viking

_Narrator: _Next up, we get ready and aim as our two warriors fire off their long range weapons: The Mongol Recurve Bow against the Viking Spear.

Geoff: Ok, this is no contest! The Mongol bow has the superior range and accuracy of the two, and is more then capable of piercing the Viking's armor! He'd get in dozens of shots before the Viking was close enough to lug those two spears at him!

Max: Fine, we get your point, geez…

Edge: Mongol

_Narrator: _Now comes the third test, where our warriors get set to engage in mid range battle with: The Mongol Glaive and the Viking Long Sword.

Max: Now we have the reverse, where the Mongol's weapon has the greater range.

Dr. Dorian: Yeah, but the Glaive is a slashing weapon, which we've seen is relatively ineffective against chain-mail armor.

Geoff: Not completely!

Max: But it's not as good as the Long Sword will be against the lamellar.

Dr. Dorian: Exactly. For that, the edge goes to the Long Sword.

Edge: Viking

_Narrator: _For our final test, we'll test out our warriors two specialty weapons: The Viking Shield against the Mongol Ild.

Geoff: All right, now as much as I love the Shield-

Max: And you should! Look at it; it offers a wide coverage for protection, and the iron boss here in the center plus the weight allows it to be used sort of like a battering ram. The Viking could totally knock the Mongol on his ass with this.

Geoff: Yeah… that said, it's still a shield. The Ild is a sword. And I'm sorry, but sword beats shield nine times out of ten.

Dr. Dorian: I have to agree. In a battle to see who can kill the other first, my money is on the sword, not the shield.

Edge: Mongol

Narrator: With all the testing complete, Max Geiger uploads the data gathered from the tests into the battle simulation, developed by Slitherine Studio, to simulate a battle to the death between these two warriors. To make sure that victory isn't snatched by a single lucky blow, the battle will be simulated 1000 times. Who will win in this battle of two brutal barbarians? The Mongol, horse riding slayer from Asia? Or the Viking, the slicing slayer from the north?

Close Range Edge: Viking Great Axe

Mid Range Edge: Viking Long Sword

Long Range Edge: Mongol Recurve Bow

Special Weapon Edge: Mongol Ild Sword

This battle takes place in a grassy area. A Viking lumbers across the field, his shield strapped to his back, his sword at his hip, with two spears in his pack held in his other hand with his Axe. To his left, he hears the sound of a horse clopping closer, and turns.

At the top of a hill he sees a Mongol staring down at him, and the two instantly feel tension in the air. Both have seen to many unfamiliar warriors to trust one another, and both know their own pride will not allow them to simply walk away. The Viking drops his pack. The Mongol unslings his bow.

All is still for a moment… then the Mongol snaps into action, riding down the hill towards the Viking, already in the process of firing an arrow. It does nothing though, as it impacts the heavy wood of the Viking's shield; as do the next two arrows.

As the Mongol gallops past, the Viking chucks a spear at him, only for the Mongol to lean forward and have it miss him completely. The Mongol expertly turns his horse while keeping up his rate of fire, making it difficult for the Viking to even attempt to fight back.

But when the Mongol is near on his second pass, the Viking's luck finally strikes. The spear misses the Mongol, but hits the horse, which rears up in pain as it dies. This throws the Mongol to the ground hard, making him gasp in surprise.

As he rolls over and tries to stand, he hears the sound of heavy footsteps. He looks up, just in time to see an massive Great Axe coming down. He jumps back, but the blade lands on his Recurve bow, splitting it in two.

The Mongol, knowing he needs to put some distance between him and the norseman, grabs his Glaive and stabs forward, hitting the Viking in the stomach and pushing him back. The Viking brings his axe down again, but the Mongol catches it and drives it into the ground, before stabbing upward and slicing the Vikings cheek, and part of his ear.

While the Viking growls in pain as one hand flies to his bleeding ear, the Glaive swings around and breaks the Axe's handle. The Viking unsheathes his Longs Sword and bats the blade away, stepping forward menacingly.

The Mongol stands up, just in time to get stabbed in the knee with the Long Sword. He responds by punching the Viking in the face, breaking his nose. A second shot to the kidney's makes the giant of a man double over. The Mongol goes to take his shot with the Glaive, but a quick slice of the sword separates the blade from the body.

Quickly the Mongol shuffles back, allowing both warriors some breathing room. Dropping the useless handle, the Mongol takes out his Flanged Mace, hefting the deadly blunt object in his hand. At the same time, the Viking raises his shield, and prepares for battle once more.

The Mongol charges, and lands several hammering blows on the shield, but has to take care to avoid getting sliced by the Long Sword. Once the Mongol is too slow, and the blade leaves a deep scratch across the Lamellar on his chest. When this happens several more times, the Mongol decides to try something a little different, and takes out his Ild Sword to duel wield with the Flanged Mace. Now, as the blade his Ild locks with the Long Sword, his mace is free to hammer at the Viking's defenses. Already the wood around the edges has cracked and broken off in small places.

The Viking lunged to slice the Mongol, who stepped back, sending the Viking off balance. The Mongol used this to his advantage and sidestepped to get behind the Viking. He raised his Mace and struck, with the Viking only partially dodging. That meant that the Mace cracked down on his shield arm's elbow, breaking his shoulder, and making the Viking nearly drop his shield.

As the Mongol went to decapitate the Viking from behind, the Viking got made and struck first. With what strength he had left in the arm, he turned and slammed his Shield into the side of the Mongol, the heavy wood breaking a rib; but the Viking dropped the Shield immediately afterwards.

Spinning on his heel the Viking clashed his sword with the mace, knocking it from the Mongol's hand and sending it flying away. The Mongol tried to stab the Viking in the face with the Ild, but the Viking managed to grab the wrist and hold back the strike. Still, the Mongol did get a good punch in with his other hand that knocked out one of the Viking's teeth.

The Viking slashed at the Mongol, but left only a faint scratch on his cheek as the Mongol dodged. The Mongol stabbed at the Viking, and managed to pierce the chain-mail on his arm, leaving a small wound.

The Viking charged, slamming his shoulder into the Mongol, but the Mongol grabbed the Viking's hair and pulled him down with him. As the two hit the dirt, the Mongol stabbed the Viking in the back of the leg, eliciting a shout of pain and rage.

The Viking, in a rage, drops his sword, and grabs the offending arm, and breaks it at the elbow. Before he can pick his Long Sword back up, the Mongol manages to heave the Viking off him, sending him back to land on the shards of his axe.

The Mongol sat up and immediately jammed his Ild through the Viking's foot, making the Viking shout out in pain as he lashed out with his Long Sword, which only knocked off the Mongol's helmet.

The Mongol, meanwhile, grabbed his dropped Mace and knocked the Long Sword right out of the Viking's hand, breaking a few fingers in the process. The Mongol then leaned, down, jamming his knee into the Viking's sternum; not seeing the Viking's other hand finally find something…

Then, as the Mongol got ready to pound the Viking's face into paste… THUNK! The Viking drove the blade of his broken Axe into the side of the Mongol's head. The Mongol jerked for a moment, his body twitching in surprise. Then, as the moment passed, he fell over, dead.

The Viking, yanking the Ild sword out of his foot, shakily stood up. Then, he roared to the heavens themselves in Victory!

Winner: Viking

**Viking: 503**

Long Sword: 180

Great Axe: 140

Viking Spear: 98

Viking Shield: 85

**Mongol: 497**

Recurve Bow: 150

Glaive: 120

Flanged Mace: 117

Ild Sword: 110

Narrator: In this brutal battle between two of histories most violent combatants, it was the Viking that managed to pummel the Mongol into submission… if only just. While the Mongol dominated the Long Range combat, once things got up close and personal, the Viking really took charge.

Max: This was a really close fight; one that really could have gone either way. I think that while the Mongol has similar weapons to the Viking, the Viking was just a bit more ferocious in his application of them. Also, I can't help but think that the Shield came in handy for the Viking; 'cause having a second layer of defense never hurts.

_We see the Viking, his injuries crudely bandaged, limping away from the battlefield. He has taken the Mongol's mace, seeing as he won't be needing it anymore. The Viking reflects that this is the second strange warrior he's met that has almost killed him; and though he has triumphed both times, he wonder how long it will last… then the Viking smiles. Let them come! Either way, someone was going to Valhalla!_

**The End.**


End file.
